Chapter 4

Chapter Four

I'm quiet on the way to Noah's apartment. I've known Brian for a long time. Even though he doesn't live on the mainland, he visits on weekends sometimes, and I feel lucky when I get to see him, but how well do I really know him?

When he pulls into a parking spot and turns off the car, I start to panic. I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't have told him so much about me. I should have gone home and forgotten I ever met someone as kind as Brian.

I wait for him to help me out of the car, mostly because I'm too nervous to move. He grabs my meager possessions and leads me into the apartment. As soon as he shuts the door and turns on the lights, I bite my lip.

I haven't been inside a normal home owned by normal people for over ten years. Before my mother died, we had a normal home. I had friends who did, too. I went to their houses. We had sleepovers.

I'm standing in a large room that's both a kitchen and a living room. Everything in this apartment is new and clean and bright. I'd forgotten how other people live.

"Come, Little one." Brian sets my backpack on the coffee table and points toward the stairs. "The bedrooms are upstairs."

I follow Brian upstairs and into a bedroom. It's well lit like the downstairs. I'm not used to so much light. My father doesn't like to waste electricity, so he only permits one lamp in the evening. When it's dark, he tells me to go to bed.

Brian leads me over to the huge bed. I think it's called king-sized. One of my friends' parents had one when I was a kid. I gasp when Brian lifts me up and sits me on the edge of the bed. He guides me onto my back before removing my scuffed shoes.

I'm trembling. I've never been so scared. It suddenly occurs to me that he might want me to have sex with him. Is that why he brought me here? I panic and roll to the side, hoping to scramble off the bed, though I don't know where I would go.

Brian sets a knee on the bed and wraps an arm around my waist to haul me back to the center. "Lacey?"

"Why did you bring me here?" I shout, trying to tug on his arm with my good hand.

"Calm down, Little one. I'm not going to hurt you." He drops down onto a hip next to me, pulls my back against his front, and cradles me against him.

"Are you going to have sex with me?" I blurt out, still struggling.

He stiffens. "Lacey… No. That's not going to happen. Not today." He rolls me to my back and peers down at my face, cupping my cheek with his hand. "Let me tell you some things."

I swallow. When I start squirming again, he tosses a leg over my thighs and stills me. I'm winded. My stomach hurts where my father kicked me two days ago. My butt hurts, my arm, my back… The list is long. I'm trying not to wince.

"I should have explained myself better before we left the club. I'm sorry, Little one. I'm going to do so now. I want you to listen."

I whimper. "Yes, Sir."

"Good girl." He smiles and strokes my cheek. "First of all, yes, I'm attracted to you. I won't lie about that. I've been watching you for a long time. Surely you knew that. I think you like me, too. You always squirm when I talk to you, and your cheeks get pink." He's teasing me.

I bite my lip.

He plucks my lip out from between my teeth. "And you bite your lip. Do you know how many times I've wanted to reach out and pull that pretty lip free of your teeth?"

I shake my head.

"I've wanted to kiss those lips, too. And someday I hope you'll let me. But right now, my only thoughts are on making sure you're not badly injured and keeping you safe."

I sniffle. "Okay." I want to trust him. He's never given me any reason not to.

"Now, I'm going to ask you some personal questions that will make you uncomfortable, but I need you to be truthful with Daddy."

"Is that what you are? Do you want to be my Daddy?" He's been calling himself my Daddy all evening. It makes me feel warm and tingly. It makes me happy, but does he mean it?

"Yes, Lacey. I want to be your Daddy, and since you don't have a Daddy to take care of you, and you really need one right now, you're stuck with me." His eyes twinkle when he makes a joke.

"Okay." I like the idea of him being my Daddy. I like it a lot. I don't like the idea of having sex, though. Not tonight anyway. Maybe someday, but the idea scares me.

If I was going to have sex with someone, I would want it to be Brian. I've thought about it, but it's hard to fully imagine since I don't know what it will feel like.

"Good. The first thing I'm going to do is take your clothes off, Lacey. I need to see where you're injured. Can you be brave for me?"

"I'm not hurt that badly," I whisper.

"I'll be the judge, sweet girl."

I sigh. He's not going to relent. "Okay."

He doesn't move yet. Instead he hesitates and then asks, "Has anyone ever seen you naked, Lacey?"

I shake my head as my cheeks heat.

He swallows, his brows furrowed. "What about your father? Does he see you naked?"

I scrunch up my face. "No."

"Never? He doesn't come into your room at night or watch you change?"

I shake my head. "No."

Brian lets out a long breath and sets his forehead against mine. "Thank God."

I suddenly realize what his concern is. He's been worried my father touched me like a man touches a woman. He's never done that.

Brian finally lets go of me to slide off the edge of the bed. He gently drags me closer and helps me sit. "I'm going to take your dress off, Little one. Arms up."

I start shaking as he lifts my dress up. The moment it clears my head, I cover my breasts with both hands. I'm nervous and embarrassed.

He doesn't say anything as he lowers me to my back before hooking his finger in the elastic of my tights and pulling both them and my panties down my legs.

I grit my teeth and squeeze my legs together. I'm breathing heavily when he leans over me and sets his palms on either side of my shoulders. "Look at me, Baby girl."

I bite my lip again as I meet his gaze, my hands trembling over my breasts.

"How long have you known you were Little, Lacey?"

I shrug. "A long time."

"How did you figure that out?"

"I googled it," I tell him.

He chuckles slightly. "My sweet girl hasn't had books or a light bulb in her bedroom, but she googles things."

"Only when my father isn't home. He doesn't know I can use a computer. I only went to school through the eighth grade, but they taught us to use computers. I just never told him. It's easier to pretend I'm stupid because that's how he likes me."

Brian frowns. "Well, you're not stupid. You know that, right? That's not a nice word."

I nod. "I know I'm not stupid, Daddy," I say, gasping a moment later when I realize I've called him Daddy.

He grins wider than ever. "I like the sound of that. I think you should call me Daddy from now on."

"What if you change your mind?"

He shakes his head. "I'm never going to change my mind. You're the most precious, sweet girl I've ever met. I'm so sorry you've had such a hard life. I'm even more sorry I didn't know about it until now. I would have gotten you out of there a long time ago. I'm kind of mad at myself for not noticing the signs."

I frown. "It's not your fault. I've learned to hide my feelings."

"And your booboos."

"And my booboos," I whisper.

"You remember I'm a nurse, right, Little one?"

"Yes."

"Do you know how many naked Little girls I see in the clinic every day?"

I gasp.

He chuckles again. "Sweet girl, nearly all the females on the island are adult Little girls. A few are Mommies, but most are Little girls."

"And you see them naked?" I ask, incredulously.

"Every day. It's my job to help the doctors make sure all the Littles on the island are healthy."

"Oh."

"Do you think you can lower your hands so Daddy can examine you, sweet girl?"

I think about his request. "I'm…"

"You're what, Little one?"

"I'm small," I murmur.

"I can see that you're underweight. You haven't been getting enough to eat for a long time. As soon as I check you out and give you a warm bath, I'm going to feed you a bottle of formula. It's going to fill your tummy and help you start to put on weight, but I only want you to be healthy, Lacey. I don't care how big your boobies are."

I giggle when he says boobies. I can't believe he's made me laugh.

"What?" he teases. "You don't like the word boobies?"

I giggle louder. "It's silly."

"Lots of Littles call their breasts boobies when they're feeling very Little."

I can't stop smiling.

He eases back, pausing to plant a kiss on the back of my hands, one at a time. "Lower your hands for Daddy," he orders.

I ease my hands down to my sides, mostly because I don't like to disobey him. I want him to be pleased with me.

"Good girl." He gently lifts my wrist first and examines it again. "How long ago did this happen?"

"Two nights ago."

"Is that the same time he kicked you in the stomach?" He lowers my hand and carefully prods my tummy like earlier.

"Yes, Sir."

"I thought you were going to call me Daddy."

I bite the very corner of my lip and let it pop free. "Yes, Daddy."

He grins. "That's my good girl." He lifts my arms up above my head and examines my torso, letting his gaze roam all over my chest and tummy. "Did he only kick you once?"

"That night," I murmur.

He gently prods my ribs on the other side. "There's some older bruising here from about a week ago, right?"

I nod.

"Has he ever broken a bone, Little one?"

I shrug.

He inhales slowly. I suspect it's hard for him not to get outwardly angry. "He's never taken you to a doctor or the hospital after he hits you?"

"No."

"Do you think you've ever had a broken bone, Baby girl?"

"Maybe. Sometimes my ribs have hurt for a long time. Once I think there was a break in my wrist. Luckily the bone wasn't dislocated, or so I assume. I was really careful with it for a few months. It hurt worse than this time, so I don't think it's broken this time."

He moves down to my legs, feeling my thighs and lower to my feet. "I want you to turn over for me, Little one."

Tears well up. This keeps happening. I can't stop crying tonight. I don't want him to see my back.

Brian…Daddy—could I be so lucky?—leans over me again. "I need to know everything, Lacey, so I can help you get better. Will you be brave for me?"

I sniffle as I roll onto my tummy. I like the way he touches me. He's so gentle and caring. His fingers dance over my skin, leaving goosebumps as he strokes my back.

I don't look at him while he says nothing for a few minutes.

"Are these welts on your back from a belt, Little one?" he asks, his voice a bit strained.

"Yes, Daddy."

He surprises me when he bends over to kiss one of the stripes across my bottom.

There are ugly scars on my butt and the backs of my thighs. A few on my back, too. Sometimes he strikes me so hard I bleed. Sometimes they don't heal well, especially since it's hard for me to take care of them after he beats me.

He kisses my shoulder next. It's the kindest thing I've felt in years. "No one will ever strike you again, Lacey. You have my word. You're safe now." He helps me roll to my back again.

"If you're going to be my Daddy for a while, won't you spank me?"

"I'd rather be your Daddy forever, Lacey, and no I won't spank you. Not ever. You've been abused, Little one. If you need to be disciplined, I will use another method to punish you. I will never strike you for any reason. Besides seeing a doctor, you need to see a counselor who specializes in abused women. Someone who can help you work through your feelings so you can live a happy life. We have a counselor like that on the island."

I gasp. "On the island?"

"Yep. I'm hoping you'll go home with me in a few days."

"To the island?" I'm too stunned to process what he's suggesting.

"Yes, Little one. I can sponsor you and get you the emotional and medical care you need. If you decide you don't want to be my Little girl when you're feeling better, I'll help you figure out what to do. Okay?"

My bottom lip trembles. "You want me to go to the island with you…" I can't believe this.

"Ideally, Little one." He lifts my hand and kisses my knuckles. "We'll talk about it more tomorrow. Right now, I need to get you in the bath and then fix you a bottle. You have to be exhausted."

As he helps me sit and guides me to my feet, I have a thought. "My father would never find me on the island."

He winks. "That is a fact. Never. Even if he knew you went there, he would not be able to board the ferry to cross over to the island. I will make sure his name and picture are on the banned list. But I don't know why he would ever think to look there anyway. You'll be totally safe on the island."

I'm naked and scared out of my mind in a strange apartment with a man I never dreamed would come to my rescue, but I stop walking and throw my arms around him and hug him tight. "Thank you, Daddy."

He rubs my back and kisses the top of my head.