FIFTY-EIGHT

Billie

WE HAD ABOUT a thirty-minute intermission in tonight's, as Jax so helpfully entitled it, Billie's Dreaded Double Feature. My playmate, he's just sooooo freakin' hilarious. We didn't finish all of the slides for Decoction, and I'm obviously fine with that. We had enough time for a quick meditation and for Jax and me to see who could slide the farthest across the great room in their socks. I've declared a rematch.

? The TV on the back wall of the dining room is hooked up to Alessandro's laptop, showing a virtual meeting room where we're waiting for our unexpected guests, Clyde and Randall.

Alessandro and the twins have been working with Councilmen Swanson and MacNeill on the orphan kidnappings and the possible use of chemical testing. Councilman Swanson is here with Annabelle and has been the primary one responsible for the care and protection of Clyde and Randall.

Alessandro and I are at the head of the table, Xander is in my vacated seat between me and Ethan, and Jax is next to him. The twins and Annabelle are seated on the side closest to Alessandro, with Councilman Swanson in a chair pushed back in a corner near Annabelle. I guess she'll be taking over as our Shifter High Council liaison since Councilman Swanson has other commitments he needs to attend to.

There's a ping on the screen, and Alessandro invites Randall and Clyde into the meeting. The room is dim as the camera focuses on them. Randall, in the same leather vest as when I met him, reaches a long toned arm over the side of an autumn-inspired plaid couch to turn on a standing lamp.

The light illuminates the room, and I can see both of them clearly against the plain yellow wall of the safe house in Northern New Hampshire.

When I meet Clyde's brown eyes, I don't see a human. I see a wolf. His wolf. His wolf's eyes wanting me dead. My heart stops. My throat constricts. My body seizes. My hands start to shake with a need to touch my neck, my throat. A strong, callused hand lands on my thigh. A hand that saved my life. I quickly snatch it up and squeeze. I can't breathe. My vision begins to blur at the edges.

I was not expecting this reaction.

The last time I saw Clyde, he was in wolf form in a cage, and I was pretty fucking tapped out—most likely in shock, running on autopilot, and not really processing anything. I thought I'd be fine, but shock makes you numb, and I'm not in shock anymore. I close my eyes and try to breathe. But the memory of the attack is like a physical weight on my chest—the weight of a wolf's body pressing down on me. I can't expand my lungs.

Suddenly, I'm assaulted by my memories. His wolf's teeth snarling and salivating as we collide in the air. The triggering sound of Enzo's screams—screams like the ones I've heard too many times, screams I'll never forget. The jarring of my back and spine when I hit the ground. The sharp burning pain of his teeth ripping into my neck. The snapping of my bones breaking in his mouth. "Breathe, Billie, breathe," I whisper, trying to regain control over my shaking body and my racing mind, trying to bring myself back to the present.

In through the nose, out through the nose... but I can't. I can't get my body to listen.

"Wilhelmina," a deep voice calls from somewhere nearby, one that was there with me when I was attacked. The hand I'm gripping is the lifeline that saved me, and I grasp and claw my way up his arm. He leans into me while his other arm bands around my backside, pulling me toward him. I shove my face into his shoulder and manage to gasp a short breath. Pine and cloves. I'm only faintly aware of my legs somehow spreading over his, his hand bracing my back, and my mouth opening over his neck while my lungs burn with their need for air. I manage to swallow down another gulp. More, I need more.

"Burrow, burrow," I whimper, my fingers frantically tugging and yanking at the hem of his T-shirt. Without care for his clothes, I stretch the fabric out and lift the bottom of the shirt up enough for me to duck my head under and then squirm my way up.

Into my Alexander den.

With my face pressed against his flesh, I inhale, and my ribs expand. I exhale, and my hot breath warms up his flesh, steaming his scent. I feel his hands on my back. I notice the sides of the shirt being pulled down over me, hiding me. His chest rumbles. I rub my nose along his torso, inhaling him while my tongue licks his scent from his skin. His arms wrap around my back, protecting me, and I skate my hands around his sides, feeling his muscles contract under them.

Safe. I feel so safe with him. I've missed him all week, and I did it to myself and hurt him too.

Each breath I take becomes longer and deeper, easing the tension and bringing me back to the present—where I totally just had a meltdown in front of the people who are depending and counting on me to help take down an illegal chemical-bond-testing orphan ring.

"Right," I wince and wiggle myself out from my Alexander den. I emerge, and the first thing I see, the first person I see, is my Alexander.

His face is relaxed and calm, and his eyes are clear as they jump around my face. "Better, mate?" he asks in a gentle voice while his hand carefully pats down the hairs that succumbed to the forces of static electricity.

"I'm sorry," I murmur through trembling lips. I take his face in my hands, brush my fingers through his hair, and bring my forehead down to his. Inhaling a warbly breath, I repeat, "I'm so sorry, Alexander. Sorry for pulling away for shutting down for... for—" I hiccup a clogged breath. "I just love you so much. I'm here. I'll do whatever you need." Feeling beyond raw, I turn to face the TV. But he doesn't let me.

The hand on the back of my head guides me back to face him. His eyes are watery with unshed tears, and his cheeks are flushed with his own emotions. "I just need you," he implores in a raggedly tender voice. "We need you, with us, all of you raw and open. Being there for you doesn't drain me, Wilhelmina. It fills me up."

"Okay," I say with a heavy nod. "Okay." Turning my head around, I face the table and the screen. Tugging on my ear I say, "Um... I didn't anticipate that reaction. But I'm all good now." Except for the fact I'm still seated on Xander's lap and my fingers are twisting at the collar of his T-shirt.

"I have flashbacks like that too, Billie," Randall comments in a gravelly voice.

I adjust myself to lean on Xander's shoulder so I can meet Randall's gaze on the screen. His gray eyes are heavy and hold mine with a staggering amount of empathy. He runs his thumb and index finger over his Zappa mustache and grunts. "Something triggers them, and sometimes I end up in a ball, convulsing in a corner." His lips hitch up on one side, and he thickly adds, "At least you have a mate to burrow into."

My cheeks get hotter. I shouldn't need to have someone care for me. I should be able to handle all this on my own. Then I smack that heinous bitch across her vile-spewing mouth. I almost died from a wolf attack, not to mention all the other shit, and I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for Xander. So, if I needed my mate to stay alive, I probably need his and my other two mates' support to heal. We're all supporting each other. It's why we're together.

I gaze up at Xander, his eyes already on me. "Yeah," I affirm on an exhale. "I am lucky to have my mates." Ethan's long fingers rub up my leg closest to him, and I meet his eyes and Jax's. "All of them. So very, very lucky." Gazing back at the screen, I swipe a hand down my hot face and scoff a sarcastic laugh "I've got oodles of trauma from my childhood, and I guess I got overconfident in my ability to deal with new... unpleasant events." I slap the air and roll my eyes. "Like, I've got this. Wolf teeth in my neck? Child, please !"

A strangled sob sounds through the speaker from the TV, and my eyes are drawn to Clyde. He's hunched over himself, head bowed forward, tatted arms tightly wrapped around his quivering body while his knee uncontrollably bounces. "Clyde," I say. He doesn't respond.

"Clyde," I repeat with a little more strength in my voice. He shakes his head and keeps looking down. He's hurting. His body is being completely taken over by the guilt and remorse he's feeling over what happened and the trauma I'm coping with—trauma I didn't mean to show or share. "Hey," I snap, sitting up in Xander's lap. "Am I going to have come up there and gouge your other eye for you to look at me or what, fella?"

Randall huffs out a low laugh and nudges his friend with his elbow. Clyde finally lifts his face, which is red and tear streaked, but hey, he has two eyes, so that's a plus. He swipes his forearm across his face and chokes out, "I'm sorry. Like, shit. . ." He gasps. "I'm really sorry. We... we were fightin' to survive and... and tryin' to make sure we... we could still live free."

"I get it, Clyde," I assert with a bob of my head. "Believe me, Clyde, I get it." I think about what I had to do in that basement to save Enzo, what we had to do to survive on the streets. I gaze back at Clyde and exhale. "I know something about finding out what you're willing to do to survive. Sometimes it's all you have, but don't let it define you."

He nods and wipes his face on his shirt sleeves. "Thanks."

I don't want to push him; he's probably suffered far more than anyone at this table. I turn to Alessandro and give him a chin lift. Alessandro holds my gaze, his green eyes heavy with concern and something else. Not wanting to prolong this meeting, I wink at him, "You gonna run this meeting or what?"

He shakes his head and laughs that elegant laugh of his, then winks back saying, " Si, Duchessa , I wouldn't want to slack on my duties."

Ethan

"Okay, so, Randall and Clyde, have you reviewed the employee profiles at Decoction Biopharmaceuticals, including their pictures and social media?" Billie probes as we try to determine how likely this is the same company that held Randall and Clyde for over a decade in cages.

"We've looked at the ones from over four years ago when the primary lab was still in Albany," Randall answers, leaning forward, lighting a cigarette, and inhaling. "Verified that at least ten of their scientists were ones that held us." He blows out a plume of smoke.

I'm pretty sure every one of our stomachs rolls whenever Clyde or Randall refers to their time spent at the lab. Once Billie was secure in Xander's arms and Clyde had calmed down, Randall and Clyde gave a summary of what had happened to them. Most of their lives had been spent in a windowless room in cages not big enough for their human forms to stand up in. They talked about everything from the various drugs injected into them, and the forced bites and bonds, to the testing of their healing abilities and the weekly blood draws that left them weak for days. I can understand why they acted like they did.

Billie continues, "We'll need to have you guys look at the current employee roster and, if possible, get that data over to Xander and me soonish." Xander kisses her head with appreciation as she's fully including herself in this with him.

Randall nods and takes another puff off his cigarette. "Yeah, we can do that, and we should probably check out the other locations too. There were scientists that stopped in from time to time with Irish accents."

Alessandro nods. "That would be much appreciated," he says with tension in his voice. I feel it too at the mention of connections to Ireland and the thought of what that may have meant or mean for my mate and her father's family.

We end the video chat with Randall and Clyde. Annabelle speaks up. "Okay, so from what I can tell, this company has been involved in the kidnapping of orphans and rogue shifters most likely on a global level for close to two decades, if not longer. We have Randall and Clyde's confirmation that William Knight was part of the operation." She pauses and looks at Xander. "It would be great if you could talk with your pack and ascertain who else worked with William Knight when it came to this company." Xander nods, and Annabelle continues, "We've confirmed that humans have been involved in the experiments at least to some degree." She brushes a curl behind her ear. "Young royals are who they prefer for their experiments, and based on the information provided by Randall and Clyde, it wouldn't be too far-fetched to assume they're working on more than just bonds."

"It's in their name," Billie mutters, now calm enough to lean forward and work on Alessandro's laptop. He bends over her shoulder to see what she's doing and then projects his screen onto the TV. " Decoction : the action or process of extracting the essence of something," Alessandro reads.

Billie sighs. "They're extracting the essence of shifters. I would guess this company is trying to figure out what makes shifters, shifters , the difference between us and humans, and feck, how to bridge that difference."

The whole table is silent. This is big, much bigger than our pack leaders messing with our bonds. This means that humans know about us on a genetic level, and that knowledge threatens our whole existence.

"All right, Alessandro," Billie drawls with a sly smile while elbowing him. "It looks like I'll need to get my Wonder Shifter Whip under control and whatever this" she pauses and her eyes search the ceiling. Her lips tip up at the edges, and a soft laugh bubbles from her chest. "Slam badda-chicka-BOOM tail thing is." She chuckles manically to herself, no doubt proud of the name. "I'm not going into the mad scientist's lair without knowing how to use my amazing, totally foxtastic superpowers."

A small giggle escapes Alessandro's throat, and it keeps building until he is fully laughing and nodding his head. " Si , Duchessa ," he wheezes. "We will make learning your... totally foxtastic superpowers priority one."

"Was that what caused the fire last night?" I inquire, leaning forward, staring at my mate with wonder. If what she's describing in her own unique way is what I'm envisioning, she's pretty fucking powerful. The thought alone gives me a semi.

Billie tugs on her ear, and Alessandro grins. "Let me tell you a story, mio amico ." With that, he, Billie, and even Xander start cracking up.

Annabelle turns to me with a huge smile on her face. "Yes. According to Alessandro she and her fox did amazing with the whole process. They just infused the whip with a little more power than what was needed at the time."

Jax leans forward to look at Billie. He winks. "I always knew you were special."

Billie rolls her eyes and tuts. "Better to be special than boring."

"That's what special people say," Assad deadpans. And yes, every one of us breaks out into our own version of laughter, because too much has happened these past weeks, too much has been revealed tonight, and it's way too fucking late.