FIFTY-SEVEN

Jaxson

WE'VE TAKEN A break from the presentation on Decoction Biopharmaceuticals, and my brain literally hurts. Billie and Ethan took in the science with ease and, dare I say, enthusiasm. Honestly, I think (which hurts) Billie is the perfect one to help Xander understand what the company is really working on and the applications of their products. She's already jotted down a page of questions and clarifications Xander needs to have answered or cleared up before the first board meeting. The three of us had been grinning and looking at her with pride and appreciation while she took down notes and searched for supporting information, completely unaware of our attention.

She was doing fine until the breakdown of the events. The assistant we hired yesterday, Mrs. Caroline Flannigan, pulled together pictures from previous events, most with Xander's father, showing exactly how much publicity this company attracts. Billie requested that Xander pause the slides, stating she was fine, just needing to meditate, and headed upstairs. Ethan went with her; he's been joining her more often.

"Do you think she'll be okay?" Xander asks, getting up from his chair and grabbing a slice of pizza from one of the boxes in the center of the table before sitting down in Ethan's seat next to me.

"You mean with all the social requirements, right?" I reply with a quirked brow and crooked smile, "Because she's totally got the science stuff down."

Xander laughs, and I lean forward, snagging a slice for myself. "I have no worries about her understanding the company products. But the social engagements . . ." He swallows. "She just kept getting tenser as it went on." His jaw clenches. "And she hasn't eaten at any of these meetings."

Taking a bite of the pizza, I mumble, "It's not like she's missing much. We've ordered takeout every night."

Xander rotates his head around and looks at me with raised brows. "Jax, she mouth-pounded Pop-Tarts and protein bars in a room full of wolf-shifters while my father threw an alpha-energy tantrum. But"—he waves his half-eaten piece of pizza at the screen— "these meetings have her so anxious she can't stomach a bite of food. Her hand was trembling when looking over the social engagements."

The mediocrity of the veggie pizza in my mouth has me thinking of making my own for this Sunday's family dinner. A smile curves my lips as I envision my little sous chef of a playmate in her apron and how much flour will we have on us by the end. The happy thought gets squashed when I look at the list of events that has made our mate lose her appetite. My mind goes to what has me concerned: how much time we'll be separated from each other. How many Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays will I be without my playmate and alpha? The company is located in Cambridge, so most of the events are in the city or near it, meaning Billie and Xander will probably be spending many nights away from us. Unless... "Some of these events are open to the public," I smoothly observe. "Might make it easier for her if Ethan and I were there too." Oh yes, Jax. So suave. That way we can all stay together. My wolf gives an approving wink at my genius.

"Jax." Xander pats me on the back, smiling around a mouthful of pizza. "I'm buying an apartment down there, for all of us."

My head spins to him in surprised glee. "You serious, Xander?" I ask in a high-pitched voice similar to the one eight-year-old me had when getting his first mountain bike.

"Yeah," he affirms, swallowing a bite of pizza and reaching for his bottle of water. "I would have a hard time if she was always going away with one of you, and things are too volatile." He gulps down some water and exhales. "She's still got a target on her back. It would kill me if something happened to her or one of us because we split our pack up. Doing so on a regular basis would leave us vulnerable."

"Won't we be splitting up more often now that you're alpha, like, officially?"

Xander's entire body deflates as if that one comment was a pin in the balloon of hope he was holding on to. He tosses his crust into the pizza box and wipes his hands and mouth with a napkin before it follows the path of the discarded crust. "I couldn't let Hogan take those wolves under him," he clips out through gritted teeth.

"Whoa, X," I say, putting my own slice down and wiping off my hands. "Hey," I cajole, my hand rubbing his shoulder and giving it a little shake. "X, man, I'm not saying it was the wrong decision. We all understand and support what you and your wolf did. You wouldn't be who I thought you were if you didn't make that decision. You wouldn't be the alpha you are if you let wolves get taken advantage of like that."

He hangs his head low, and in a voice weaker than I've heard from him in years, he confesses, "I'm concerned, Jax." My chest constricts because those words, coming from Xander, mean he's way more than concerned. He's scared. "The mantle of alpha, there's more to it than I knew. It's like a pull on me, on my wolf. It's pulling us to the pack, to the wolves that I've taken under my protection. It makes me want to be with them, to connect to them." He scratches his chest and blows out a wet breath. "And I'm conflicted, Jax, because it feels like if I answer that pull, I'm accepting their treatment of my mate. As much as she distracted herself at the pack meeting, I know she was nervous... scared even. I caught how some of the pack members sneered at her. I saw her face pale when she was met with the unwarranted hostility being thrown at her." His body tenses under my hand when he whispers, "How my wolves treated her."

"They weren't your wolves then," I assert my hand kneading his shoulder and upper back. "And honestly," I exhale thinking about things. "I don't know if it's ever been their wolves that were the problem. I think it's their human sides. I don't see how any shifter could hate someone who was brought to us from the divine."

"It might depend on their view of the divine," he muses. "My father hated the divine for the lack of power it bestowed on him. That view, that questioning of the divine, has been repeated over the years to the wolves that were under him. What kind of higher power would make such a mistake?"

"What can we do?" I ask, knocking a knuckle under his chin and making him look at me. His normally ice-blue eyes look darker, like a shadow is clouding them. "What can we do? What do you need from us, the three of us, to make this better? How does your wolf see this working out?"

His eyes stare into mine, and he lets me hold his face in my hand, lets me brush my thumb along his sharp jawline. He licks his lips and huffs a humorless laugh. "I need to lay down the law, and so does she. Also..." He hesitates. His brows dip in concentration, his eyes glow and it's as if his wolf's presence burns away the shadows, like the sun clearing the clouds from the sky. "Fuck" he exhales, "She's a duchessa , and according to my wolf, all packs should be educated on the importance and position of royalty. I've got to read the bylaws of mixed-subspecies packs to see how they work things."

"I'm still in shock over that bomb," I comment, removing my hand from his face and combing my fingers through my hair.

He shakes his head. "Half of the wolf-shifter packs in the US are mixed subspecies. The alphas in charge have been keeping it a secret not just from us but most likely from the Shifter High Council. Because wouldn't true-mate bonds be registered? Is there some sort of punishment or consequence for them in doing so?" He swigs some water and continues. "As of now, my mother will retain her luna position with Bruce helping her run things. They're still the gatekeepers and in charge of the day-to-day, but I do need to spend time with the wolves at least once a week. Be there for them. Otherwise, the stability I'm trying to provide by taking on this position is at risk."

"Put Ethan on the research stuff," I offer… for Ethan . "Maybe the other mixed packs could connect with Billie and give her insight."

Xander falls back into his seat and swipes a hand down his tired face muttering. "She's got so much on her." His head drops over the back of the chair, and he rolls it from side to side. "She has so much to learn about being a shifter, a royal, being mated to a new alpha, and. . ." He gestures a heavy arm to the screen. "And now this."

I scratch my chin and look at the ceiling. "You know, I remember a wise hot-as-fuck wolf-shifter telling me once there was a reason the divine brought the four of us together." He puffs out a few short laughs, and I squeeze his thigh. His hand covers mine before I can pull it away, and damn his hand could be holding my heart with how much the small gesture touches me. I lick my suddenly dry lips and continue. "It's a good thing that Ethan and I were born shifters, brought up as wolf-shifters, know our roles as betas, and—well, we're Renaissance men if you think about it. It's not the two of you—it's the four of us." I glance back at the screen and then return my eyes to Xander. "We live and love as a bonded pack."

"The four of us," Xander repeats, squeezing my hand. "Help me keep the four of us together, Jax." He rolls his head to the side to look at me through glassy eyes. "Keep us focused on us. Don't let us stray from each other. Put me in my place if you need to."

"Ohhhh," I drawl with a brow waggle. "I think I can handle that."

His eyes glow bright for an instant, and he growls, "Don't push it, Jax, unless you want to be pushed back."

Is that supposed to deter me?