16

"I don't understand what you want us to do with this information, Your Highness," Commander Morgan muttered after I filled them in at the dinner meeting I'd called.

"Nothing, Commander," I told them honestly. "I've said a lot of—I have been harsh on my mother never even really knowing the woman. You did. You respected her. I'm being fair. I'm telling you the truth and there was more to the story. Everyone cannot know this with all that was missed, Onas and Taeral deserve to know my mom had faith in them to protect Neldor and more."

"We didn't deserve it after how much we did miss," Onas whispered, wiping under his eyes, staring out the window. "I pushed constantly for our queen to murder yours and be done with the wars, and apparently she was the true queen and our realm was a lie."

I sighed. "She never wanted me to show the ring just for this reason." I nodded when they couldn't hide their shock. "Yes, it was passed down as a Vale family heirloom and told we were the original royal family, a dark fairy relative was the one that broke off but…" I shrugged.

"There have been so many lies that your mother wasn't ever willing to risk the chaos that would ensue over something she did not witness herself or on an ancestor lying and stealing the ring or something," Shael muttered, nodding when I did. "She was so much better of a woman and ruler than I ever gave her credit for." She frowned when I snorted.

"She had some choice words about you. My mom spilled the tea to warn me when I unlocked the rest of the journal. She was telling me where all the bodies were buried and warning me not to listen to your sexist ass even if you were maybe one of the smartest people she'd ever met."

"Only Meira would call me on my shit while still praising me in a way I didn't deserve," she whispered, shaking her head and wiping her eyes. "Fuck, she did not deserve the ending she received, and—there better be a Paradise for real and she has everything there for her with Lageos." She winced and shot me an apologetic look.

"I feel the same as I grieve," I muttered, wanting the topic dropped.

"I don't doubt your mother's intentions, but why didn't she keep such a vital relic in Faerie?" Taeral whispered. "Any number of things could have happened to it or you with it in the human world. I cannot understand why it was—I'm sorry to sound like I'm questioning here but…" He seemed at such a loss.

"She wanted you to have an ace up your sleeve should everyone immediately rally behind me and force us to mate and me to take over," Neldor muttered.

"Oh no, she was quite clear to tell you all to fuck off if people pulled that," I said with a dark chuckle. I nodded when their mouths all fell open. "Yeah, her journal already said I went way over the line of what she would have wanted and I should have let you all rot after she gave her life to save you."

"Wow, okay, wow," Taeral whispered. "Then why?"

I shared a look with Iolas and he was a bit squirmy. "What do you know?"

"That I'm a horrible friend and deserve to be banished from Faerie forever," he rasped. "I already knew that, but clearly Meira was right and—"

"What, Iolas?" Shael interrupted, but I didn't make him say it.

"My mother was sure that Ancient Simimar killed my five—or six—times great-grandfather," I said, sparing him. I kept going when people started cussing. "And that he raped the current queen after her mate died trying to force them to mate and that he was going to take over. Luckily, she was already pregnant with her mate's child so he couldn't win.

"She found writings about something done to that queen that was unspeakable and magic put on her so she could never say it or warn anyone of the name. But she tried. She tried to warn all the heirs and queens after her. I have to find that journal next because my mother was close to breaking the code."

"Something he said after you were born made Meira convinced it was him," Iolas rasped. "He overindulged at the celebration announcing she was pregnant, and her trusted maid told her that he said it would finally happen now. That she would hand him everything by being a fool to mate a non-fairy as that was what he'd been waiting for.

"None had for so many generations, but that was the key he'd been waiting for, and now you would be the key as a daughter of a non-fairy. She said he would force you to mate him. She was absolutely convinced, and she told me, asking for my help, but wouldn't tell Lageos because he would kill the ancient and chaos and—"

"But that was also why she jumped on the idea of our mating," Neldor muttered.

"She doesn't say that from what I've read," I told him. "It was about saving your father and she knew we were mates. She saw something and knew we were fated mates or saw us together." I shrugged. "I have to reread this whole thing in Faerie with magic now."

He nodded. "But what does that have to do with…" Horror filled his eyes. "Ancient Simimar was strong enough to use magic to quiet a queen that he'd raped her. What other secrets did he learn or know?"

"Yes, that was my mom's fear. And if he could sneak into the vault or get ahold of the ring. If he could get possession of it—because he knew of it —that he could use it and take over the realm given how fairies revered their stupid ancient men ." I rolled my eyes, not caring how many of them had been so stupid.

"How did he learn of it?" Shael whispered in horror.

I shrugged. "I don't know, and I don't know if she tells me later. She doesn't have enough pages to tell me everything. She just warns me that he let it slip that he knew. He got pissy at her and said she should use it already and put Elora in her place and have her killed to end this war and then stormed off. He became that arrogant and controlling after she was pregnant."

"Lag would have killed him," Iolas whispered.

"Apparently, that was the best plan," Shael seethed. "Fucker. That fucker got off too easy."

"Amen, Sister," I drawled.

"Wait, there's no way your mother didn't tell your father about that ring and to find that journal immediately if he was to be with you," Shael put together.

I shared a look with Iolas, but it was Morgan who replied before we could.

"Being trapped in that darkness— clawing to get out of it deteriorated Lageos's mind. You've seen it, Shael," he said gently. "You were there when he forgot he had a unicorn of his own. He loved that unicorn that Meira gave him. He would never have forgotten a gift from his mate. He seemed confused and then wanted to see the princess and make sure she was safe."

Shael sighed and nodded, giving me an apologetic look. "It doesn't happen often but—"

"I know," I rasped. "I know. People have given me a lot of shit about not immediately turning to my demigod father for everything, but he—the pain he's in constantly and—I feel it. I feel the—he's fading. His siblings are all gone and my mother was the only anchor here."

"You are his anchor here, Tamsin," Iolas argued.

"I would be if his mate's death didn't pull him to go," I countered. "She's gone, Iolas. Nothing can save her. She might be frozen in that last instance of death, but she's dead. You all felt it and his soul is… She's gone. The moment I finish it—I cannot hold him here. He's ready when I'm safe." I realized this was the moment to bring up something I'd been wanting to.

"You want to break tradition," Onas surmised, nodding when I couldn't hide my shock. He gestured between Stefanie and himself. "We've long since figured it out and we're with you. Many of the commanders and nobles are. The rest will get over their shit and do it for you."

"Really?" I breathed, shocked down to my soul.

"Wait, I'm missing something," Neldor hedged.

"The princess wants to release her mother after she has her coronation," Onas said for me. "It's normally after the current queen is buried and all of the grieving traditions are finished."

"I understand the tradition. I do," I rasped, quickly wiping my eyes. "I get it even and wanting a clean slate with the new queen instead of worrying about immediately swearing in who is next or—"

"But you want your dad to be there," he whispered, tears running down his cheeks.

"But I want my dad to be there," I choked out. "I need him to help me do it before he leaves me."

They all agreed and promised to handle it, saying they didn't think it would actually be as big of a deal anymore. That shocked me, but Morgan said I was so ridiculously popular and combining the realms was a miracle that it was such a small ask before I lost my father—fairies weren't so heartless. They really weren't.

Good.

We finished the meeting and then I found myself teleporting to Darby. He wouldn't ask questions and would just leave things alone when I was raw.

Sure enough, he set down the book he was studying from and stood, eyeing me closely before hugging me.

"All I need to know is if everything is okay," he said after several minutes. "I'm worried something is wrong with Freya and you don't know how to tell me."

"She's fine," I promised. "Nothing even bad happened. Just topics that made me raw. Too much. I'm just… Fried."

"I'm sorry, agra ." He lifted me up and sat down on his bed with me on his lap. He kissed my shoulder and hugged me tightly, careful of my wings.

Then he kissed under my ear and my shoulder again.

I was confused and snuggled against his shoulder, but he kept going. I wasn't against it, but it felt more than comfort.

And then he was hard under me.

I blinked as I stared at his lips kissing my skin from what I could see.

"Sorry," he mumbled, probably sensing my confusion. "Sorry, agra . I know you didn't come here for this, but you are just so perfect, and—I can stop."

"No, it feels nice," I admitted. "I'm just kind of all over. I wouldn't be…"

"All here?" he checked, waiting until I made a noise to confirm. He turned a bit and brushed his lips over mine. "I'm okay with that." He smiled when I couldn't hide my shock. "Not for always, Tams. For tonight. Let me distract you and fill you with something nice instead of overwhelmed." He hurried on when I frowned. "If you want. Otherwise, we can just cuddle."

I thought about it for a minute and huffed. "Well, you can't take back the offer of sex, you stupid vampire. Yeah, I want nice and—I just—my head's not in the game. I don't want to be selfish and—"

"It's not selfish if I offer," he whispered, giving me another soft kiss. "Spoil me after. I have a craving. Let me pick second or third dinner."

I chuckled. "Your services can be bought with delivery?"

He smirked at me. "My services come for free when it's you, my mate. The whole menu is always available for you, even a secret menu when you're overwhelmed and need something extra special."

"I want extra special," I mumbled, sounding something between whiney and confused almost. I was just so damn overloaded that what he offered sounded so, so much better but… I was too tired to try and get there.

Yeah, I was a horrible partner. I was. I got that.

At least right then.

But Darby wasn't. He took care of everything. He undressed me and kissed all over my body before carefully setting me up so my wings were okay.

And my ass was on display. Seriously, the man moved a few pillows under my hips and then just feasted on me. I couldn't even get mad when he took such good care of me. It was after the second orgasm that there was a knock on the door.

"Fuck off, mate," Darby growled.

"Oh shit, they can hear," I hissed. "I was so all over the place I didn't put up a barrier."

"Yes, that is what we wanted to inform you of, Your Highness, and you're not supposed to be here, and we don't want rumors of Darby cheating," Rafe said from the hallway.

"Shit, shit, these walls are too thin," Darby worried.

"Have someone pretend to be one of your lovers and be seen leaving tomorrow by people," I told Rafe, meaning him or Wyn. "It's smart to have that cover in place anyways."

"It is. I also let your detail know you're here. They were looking for you," Rafe told us.

"It wasn't on purpose," I grumbled.

"Yes, apparently, there was something layered discussed with only some of the commanders and they are now tying one on and it's not going over well," Rafe drawled. "And—"

"Rafe, fuck off, mate. We're busy here and she's already overloaded, not your friend," Darby bitched. He jumped off the bed and grabbed my wallet from my bag. "Now you're getting her second dinner for being a git."

"You better be eating me more," I mumbled.

"Before and after you have more food, agra ," he chuckled.

Fair enough.

And he did. He told Rafe what to get and I put up the barrier. He feasted on me before second dinner came and then he did some more. We had hot sex and it was everything I needed even if my head wasn't fully in it and I wasn't as good of a lover back to him.

I snuggled up to him that night and enjoyed the spoiling.

Izzy was waiting for me the next morning with an annoyed look. She sighed. "Hudson and Lucca were both looking for you and were miffed they couldn't have your night."

I frowned and opened my mouth but then closed it, repeating the process a few times. "This is going to sound crazy, but I think having sex with Neldor has been good for my sex life with the other four."

She blinked at me for a full minute. "You just figured that out?" She burst out laughing when I simply stared at her. "No shit, Tams." She laughed even harder when I couldn't hide my shock. It took her a few minutes to calm down until she could manage to talk again. "Tams, I love you."

"I love you too," I mumbled as I plopped down on my chair backwards since my wings were out. "Seriously, what am I missing? I talked to all of the guys before it happened. I made sure they were all comfortable and—this wasn't a surprise or came out of left field."

She rolled to her feet and came over to me. She let out a soft chuckle and kissed my hair. "Oh, my clueless friend. It's nice to know I'm not the only one who feels like she's five steps behind."

"Yeah, well, I don't pick on you when you are, so can you fill me in," I snapped, apologizing when she flinched.

"No, sorry," she whispered and hugged me. "I was being a shit." She sat down on my bed in front of me with a serious face and tucked some of my hair behind my ear. "Yeah, you talked to them, but then the sex you had with your fairy mate, the one the gods want you to have that's your species was—you had earth-shattering sex, Tams. Literally."

"Oh."

She snickered but quickly swallowed it down. "Yeah, oh . Your sex was so good you caused an earthquake. What have you caused with the others? Lots of rainstorms and winds, right? They hit your emotions when you're upset."

"But that's not…" I frowned. It wasn't the same, but it was? I gave her a worried look.

She shrugged. "They'll work it out. You did what you should just as you said. They're just making sure you know they're awesome in bed and can tend to your needs as well." She stood and went to get ready for the day while I was thinking about what she said.

I was still sitting there when she got out of the shower. "Anything I can do to keep this going? Like… Do you think if we did it again, they'll just always act like this?"

It was fair when she broke down laughing this time, but… Who didn't like to be spoiled? Seriously?