15

In the most shocking turn of events ever, fairies didn't give a single shit about what happened.

No, really. They were like, yeah, great, the princess did something crazy.

So what else was new?

Oh, she had some power jumps?

Again… So what else was new?

The supe news was freaking out about the magical explosion and earthquake I'd caused, and I died laughing when a noble who didn't like me was hounded by reporters and gave them a bored look. Then he reminded them that it wasn't the first time I'd done it . That I'd done the same to Faerie to revive it and brought back the sun.

So why were supes behind and freaking out like children?

I died. For real, I died and was glad he was such a condescending ass to someone else finally. Or maybe he always was, but it was nice to see it focused on someone else finally.

But fairies basically shut down supes hard and kept listing everything else I'd done that was so far beyond a "provincial" earthquake. They actually accused the media of trying to smear me with drama and push my amazing deeds out of the news like taking down the Underground that they left several reporters gobsmacked in the end.

It was amazing, and it wasn't even a setup or them trying to help me. They didn't give a single shit that I'd made an earthquake or try to learn why.

Which gave Neldor and me cover. They didn't ask why our wings were out since it was so normal for young fairies especially royals for years after their wings came in. Apparently, that whole within the first year thing was bullshit and just had been to push me as hard as possible and kept fairies from becoming lazy or complacent because it was important for their growth.

Yeah, that was great, but they had scared me too many times too.

Jerks.

But fairies were focused still on how many of their family, friends, and loved ones I had woken before the first meat auction. I had jumped into my womb regrowing and hadn't really paid attention to much else. Validly, but now I was practically smacked with the number left and right.

And a hundred and three thousand was a big number to be smacked with.

Yeah, a huge number. I had practically fallen over when I'd first heard it. Wow.

So yeah, fairies were focused on that and that I could have children and that I wouldn't be the last heir or queen. That the gods were giving me visions and guidance. That I kept creating new magic and brought peace to a world that never thought to have peace in the very long lives of those who only knew war.

They really didn't care about a damn earthquake.

Or our wings being out.

Not. One. Bit.

So we were totally off the hook. It was damn amazing for once living constantly with too many issues. I took the win and was doing what I should, training harder and harder, pushing myself to the max and behaving as I should. Faerie was deeper into that bubble to me, and it was fantastic. It was like a deep wall was between us, and I wasn't as scared of the planet.

I joked if I had known that would be the outcome I would have screwed Neldor years ago.

He was less than thrilled at the joke, but I hadn't been around him much since everything had happened. It was just too awkward.

The false start. Everyone knowing we'd had sex. Making a fucking earthquake because we'd had sex. Having our wings out because we'd jumped power levels because we'd had sex. People staring at us when we were together wondering what was going to happen next.

Hell, Julian had jumped power levels because he was tied to me because of what we'd done. It was all just so fucking awkward that I needed a break and some alone time… Which I never got as the future queen.

Luckily, Irma was awesome and snuck me out and promised she would get a way to help Julian find me later since it was Saturday and I should be cleansing. At the last second, I managed to teleport her a note of where I would meet him to join back up with my security and get more food to cleanse. I just need a bit—even a fucking hour to hide and think.

And apparently, I needed to do it in Faerie with my mother's journal given what else I had with me and where I ended up.

I blinked at the overloaded totes of food and wondered how that had ended up with me. Right, I had thought to ask Julian's thoughts on it, which was probably how I'd also ended up at my family's castle, but also I'd been thinking about the passion fruit trellises I'd really liked and the ceiling of pretty and life and… My mind was a dangerous place sometimes.

"Sometimes I also put the pieces together well," I mumbled as I plopped down on the bench where I was thinking it would be the place to have something like that added. It was too sunny and bright there by the water. I knew people liked it there, but I fried like bacon with my super pale skin and red hair.

Like bacon . Seriously. Even for a fairy, I was pale and fried.

Yes, yes, there were runes to heal and even for sunblock, but my eyes were also blue and the sun—we needed more areas with shade by the castle, and I loved this spot overlooking the water. I wanted a ceiling of life and pretty and it was my damn castle.

And apparently, I needed to eat because I was getting whiny and hangry.

I dove into what Irma packed me and mulled over everything that had been going on. I set the journal off to the side, but my magic sort of sparked as my fingers pulled away from the leather.

"What tricks did you put on this, Mom? Were you being a sneaky fairy so no one else could read it just in case?" I muttered as I stared at it.

Probably. That made sense… But how did I unlock it? What did I do about it?

I sighed after stuffing my face a bit and sort of pushed my magic into the journal, not so much to probe it but also to sort of shove it like I would something heavy or just to give me the answer almost like a tantrum.

And magic that was not mine reacted.

"Sneaky fairy," I chuckled as I pushed in more magic until mine sort of told me it was enough. I quickly finished what I was eating and wiped my hands before opening the journal.

Only to find it was a whole new journal basically.

There was writing visible over the original writing, and somehow I knew that if I pulled my magic back off the journal I could see it as I originally did. Awesome. My mother had just taught me how to magically write basically.

Cool.

But for another day. I wanted to know what was so important that she had known to hide it.

The first thing? The key I'd been left with and the damn ring.

Of course.

She could not have been clearer that Neldor and I weren't remotely cousins. She knew we were mates and outlined there were sixty-two known generations separating us when there was maybe one royal family of Faerie to start. And best guess, that was over fifteen thousand years ago.

No one knew for sure, and there weren't any real records that had survived the wars because this royal thought it was bad for Faerie or that one had been selfish—even a fire supposedly. Either way, no one could really know.

And if the gods had made us mates, clearly there wasn't a problem with it and she hoped I believed this.

I did. I was really, really fine with it.

The gods' approval didn't mean anything to me because if even a fraction of the stories about them were true, they had kids with their own siblings and children. So they weren't really great examples of how not to inbreed.

Gross.

Oh gross! I gagged. I really hoped those were all legends and not true given my dad was a fucking demigod.

Wow, I had fucked up on both sides of the family. I shook my head and went back to reading. The last thing I'd been found with was a baby blanket that always found me again. I used to get picked on for how well I'd taken care of it and it had stood up over the years and how much I'd loved it.

No, it had been trashed and even burnt and still looked brand new. Looking back, I was maybe a moron to not think I was magical somehow.

Seriously.

But my mother had made the blanket for me when she'd learned she was pregnant. I'd been a rough pregnancy at times and the healers had wanted her to relax and told her to knit… Except she was shit at it. That blanket was her tenth and final attempt at it.

And it wasn't great. I'd always wondered how the blanket always looked new and was so poorly made. There were so many mistakes that as a little kid I could obviously see them.

I blinked back tears. This was one of the most real things I maybe learned about my mom. It was something I felt connected to her about. I felt related to her besides our eyes.

We were alike. She was a pain in the ass like I was. Not just she wasn't good at something, but she did things over and over again until she felt she had it. She hated not getting something right.

It was like me and cooking. My fixation with curry or grilled cheese, even baking muffins until I felt the recipe was perfect. The amount to use in each muffin paper to bake evenly and what to top it with. It was such a weird thing that I'd always felt embarrassed about.

And apparently, my mom had done the same.

I smiled. My guys said it was something they found adorable about me. Did my dad think the same about my mom and her knitting? I wanted to ask him now that I read this. It was something the guys could bond with him over.

She went back to the ring and answered a question I hadn't had a chance to ask with all the uproar and my wanting people to forget about.

How did people know what an ancient ring of legend looked like?

There were several ancient artifacts from the gods depicting it. One was a painting in a temple in the dark realm that couldn't be damaged and never faded. It was magic unlike fairies had and was like other artifacts from the gods. It was popular with older generations and some nobles had prints of the painting in their homes.

It was of the hand—said to be the god who forged the ring—giving it to accepting hands—thought to be the first Queen of Faerie—accepting the gift and her duty as the conduit of the planet. Also, for all of her generations to come.

Yeah, nice how that was slid in there and one woman could promise to basically enslave her family to a damn planet. No wonder it was popular with the sexist older generations.

Assholes.

Whatever, at least it answered that question.

Also, my mother answered a lot more… And I learned was a bit of gossip.

Seriously, my mom was spilling the tea once it was protected and there wasn't a risk anyone else could read it. Wow.

Like wow .

Nice to know the perfect Queen of Faerie could be a bit petty as well. I felt like I should hit up Izzy's popcorn stash as I read that my mom hated Shael and thought the woman was a bit too full of herself and sexist. She ranted for two pages that she was a complete hypocrite and was so much harsher on my mom than men and Shael didn't even understand that was being sexist.

Bravo.

Seriously, bravo.

I cursed up a storm when I learned the plan of how to handle the ancients. She couldn't get rid of them before everything happened because she wasn't powerful enough, but the first thing when I reopened Faerie was supposed to be that I found this journal and a lot of the evidence she had compiled of their corruption.

I let out a yelp when a hand stroked my hair. I jumped to my feet and was ready to fight when a hand reached out and steadied me before I fell.

My eyes went bug wide as I locked with emerald-green ones and glanced around, seeing the shock of my security. I took down the barrier and cloaking I had up and blurted out one word. "How?"

"I don't know," Julian admitted with a shrug. "We worked on our bond but not in Faerie yet."

"He seemed to just know where you were, Your Highness," Ara muttered, blinking as she stared at us. "Irma gave us the message of where to meet, but he said you were in Faerie. He knew."

"That's new," I whispered I steadied myself, letting him keep my hand. "Did you do something with fairy runes or—are you hurt?"

"No, it was just a gut feeling," he promised. "I wasn't even being pushy or spying. I swear."

"No, I get it. I would have been too curious not to check either," I forgave. "So you could sense I was… Walk me through it?"

"We came through the portal at your house and I could sense which direction," he explained. "Then I could open a portal in Faerie."

I almost fell over. Only fairies were supposed to be able to open portals in Faerie, even non-fairy mates.

"We didn't let him go through. That seemed too dangerous," Ara interjected.

"Yes, thank you. Not without Lageos or someone to check," I agreed, leaning in and kissing Julian's cheek when he sighed and agreed.

"He can do it," Julian grumbled. "He teleports too."

"He's a demigod ," a few of my detail said at the same time.

So clearly, they had already used that argument with him. It was fairly amusing.

"When he told us the direction, we figured it was Theripolis, so I brought us here," Ara continued. "Then he said the castle and I opened another portal to the guard station. He just walked us over here like he had a tracker. Then he reached out where there was nothing and interacted with nothing until you took down your cloaking."

I nodded I heard her but focused on Julian. "You saw me?"

"No, I saw…" He frowned. "I think I saw the magic around your wings. I saw like a purple glow. Faint. It was weird. I just knew it was you and guessed where your wings were and from there assumed you were sitting on the bench and I could touch your hair. I did call your name."

Right, the journal. "Sorry, I figured something out and was totally absorbed." I let go of his hand to retrieve it and waved it so he saw what it was, nodding when his eyes went wide. "There's way more to it and I had to read it here . In Faerie. And my mom gave me a lot of tea that would have been helpful. Something…" I gave my detail an apologetic look.

"I'm going to go stretch my legs by the water," one of the guys said.

"Excuse me, Your Highness, but I have to use the bathroom," another said.

They all came up with excuses since I was safe at the castle, and I thanked them before I still put up a barrier over Julian and me. He couldn't read it since it was in Faerie—the language—and I picked up where I had left off.

"You said your dad's mind was shredded by being trapped in the darkness," he muttered. "I would bet anything pertaining to the plans of what to do when you got back to Faerie—he's probably completely traumatized he didn't help you with it. I would absolutely believe he's blacked it all out or that was eaten away in his mind. You said you've seen it."

I nodded. "He has gaps at times. He gets—it's why I have trouble bothering him sometimes." I let out a slow breath but then shocked both of us by breaking down crying.

"Oh, my sweet mate," he whispered as he gathered me onto his lap. "I know. I know how much it hurt you that your mother left so much danger for you to handle. I know you hated that she didn't love you as much as her fairness and Faerie."

That was exactly it. That was exactly how I had felt.

And I couldn't have been more wrong.

The truth? My mom had wanted my father to murder the ancients. They were never supposed to "wake up" from the darkness. And then with the proof she had compiled of their corruption, we were going to make a story up that the gods refused to let them influence Faerie anymore since this was going to be a reset for the planet.

We were going to go back to the original way Faerie was ruled with queens truly ruling, everyone equal, and hobgoblins having more of a say in the government… Which apparently, my mother had been a huge advocate for.

Wow. We really were a lot alike.

"What are you going to do with this information?" he asked me gently.

That was a very, very complicated answer. "I'm going to tell Iolas, Shael, and Morgan. They deserve the truth after how I trashed her and they had such faith in her. Onas, Stefanie, and Taeral. They deserve to know. Just the top." I tapped the journal. "It's in here that she trusted Onas to help to do the same in the dark realm with Neldor with the proof she had.

"She trusted that he would do the right thing and protect Neldor with the proof she had that their ancients drove Queen Elora mad. He deserves to know that. So does Taeral when he's mentioned in here as well. So does Neldor. I'll tell them. I'll tell…" I frowned.

"You won't tell Hudson, Lucca, or Darby?" he hedged.

"Not yet. After we mate. These are Faerie secrets for now. Once we mate. Maybe after we're all more stable and all in."

"That's fair. This isn't just about your mom but the Queen of Faerie," he accepted before giving me a soft kiss. "I'm glad I was able to help you with this."

"Me too."

"Let's get some cleansing and then have the meeting."

Yeah, that sounded great, and I told him I wanted to read more of the journal. Clearly , there was more that I needed to learn in there and I should have sooner.

Once we gathered everything up and found my detail, Julian handed everything over to them which confused me.

"The princess said she wants to take a shower before we start cleansing where it's going to be hot and muggy," he told them and pulled out his wallet. "Calarel wants her to keep focused on a protein-heavy diet with these power jumps, but she will also need a lot of cool treats as she cleanses. Also to eat as she wanders around."

"You'll stay at her house?" Ara checked.

"No, where I'm living, but there are always guards there," he promised. "If you can also return that all to Irma. Thank you."

They agreed and we went through the portal and did the normal dance before only the two of us walked through a different portal he opened to his room.

"That's much easier for you now, right?" I checked, worried he kept opening them.

" Ridiculously easy," he drawled. "I cannot even—you guys are so much more powerful than us."

"It's also how we view portals." I nodded when he seemed skeptical. "Our whole view of magic is different because we are magical with our wings. I don't know how to explain it, but listening to Sontar it all makes sense. We tap into what's already there. You guys start with a blank slate and make it there and—"

"Fascinating. Tell me later," he mumbled as he took the journal from me and tossed it on the bed.

And then he started removing my clothes.

Okay then! Things were so, so different between us—and for the better. The old Julian would have been excited to talk magical theory and nothing could have come before that, even the prospect of sex or fun.

"You need to eat and I'm dying for you," he muttered in between kisses. "I didn't get to hold you last night because your wings are out and—I need you, Tams. Please, I just need you ."

I nodded, working on getting his clothes off as he backed me up towards the shower. I felt bad that I could only sleep with one of them when I had to keep my wings out.

Technically, I could be with more than one, but I was still scared they would hurt my wings or I would hurt one of them with appendages I didn't have the best control over. The commanders and healers assured me that I'd had my wings long enough now that—it would be like if Julian rolled onto my leg in bed. He wasn't going to hurt my wings.

He just wasn't. I knew that logically.

I was still too scared and not used to having them.

I was more fearful of doing something to one of them if they did roll onto my wings. Hudson fully understood that. Even if he knew I'd never hurt him and loved me, River was completely protective of his wings and scared of someone taking out his ability to fly. It was instinct to them to protect their wings.

So I tended to sleep with him when I had to have my wings out. It wasn't fair, but… It wouldn't be forever. I needed to get used to it still, and I hadn't had them out overnight that much. Lucca had snuck into bed behind Hudson a few times since he was welcome, but that was it.

Oh, Darby had also slept on the couch so he was there with us. Julian once too. It was silly, but honestly the support meant the world to me.

And I made sure that couch was just as comfortable as the bed.

Apparently, he wasn't kidding how much he needed me because the moment we were under the cool water he pushed me up against the glass and knelt behind me. He feasted on me and then fucked me desperately to where I couldn't do anything besides make sure I didn't smack my head on the glass. I finished like half a dozen times and just looked back at him when he was done.

He simply smirked. "We cleansed our pipes. Now you do need a shower. I didn't lie."

Dick. Seriously smug dick.

Still… "Can you cleanse them again?"

He threw back his head and laughed.

And yes, yes, he did. I loved every second of it.