Chapter 16 In which its confirmed that I am a fuck up

I’ve never been so fucking terrified. Never once in my life, and I’ve been in a lot of fucked up scary situations. It’s impossible to be raised in the Falcone pack and not come across situations that would make most people piss their pants. But this? Watching Sadie almost get snatched right in front of me?

This fucking takes the cake.

My alpha is raging at me, at the world, and I’m barely holding on by a thread when I stride into the penthouse, Sadie cradled in my arms. Her slight weight against my body is the only way I can keep myself in check. It will get better when she opens her eyes, when she wakes up.

What the hell was I thinking, commanding her to fight?

I shake my head. I know exactly what I was thinking. She was seconds away from being shoved into the van, seconds away from being taken from me. Her fighting bought me enough time to get to her, to shoot the fucker that hit her so hard she lost consciousness.

I should have made him hurt more.

“What the hell happened?” Luca growls stalking over to us, taking in the limp omega in my arms, the bruise forming on her temple and cheek. “Did you do that to her?”

A warning rumble pulls from my chest, as my lip pulls back into a snarl. “How can you even ask me that?”

He arches his brows at me in surprise, but wisely doesn’t ask any more questions, his attention going back to the woman in my arms, his expression going so fucking soft. I can tell he wants to take her from me, to hold her himself and verify that she’s okay.

I should hand her over. They have a mating bond, and I’m sure his alpha is clawing at him to make sure she’s okay, to comfort her.

The last thing I want to do is put her down, though, so I move to the couch and take a seat, cradling her on my lap while Luca quickly takes the spot next to me. “Call Logan. I want him here to check her out. Now. ”

Luca’s jaw tightens, but he doesn’t argue with me. Good boy. If he did, I’d probably bark him into submission, which isn’t something I’ve ever had to do with any member of my pack before… well, unless I’m commanding them in the bedroom.

In which case, they rarely mind.

Looking down at Sadie, I push the light brown strands of hair away from her face. I’ve used my bark on her so many times already. I don’t know if it’s because she’s an omega and I have this overwhelming need to take care of her, to keep her from hurting herself, putting herself in danger, or if I’m just that much of an alphahole. It’s probably the latter.

“Logan was already on his way home, so he should be here in five,” Luca informs me, before reaching out to brush his fingers over the bruise on her temple. “What happened?”

“They tried to take her.” It comes out as a snarl, because I still can’t fucking believe it almost happened.

“The fuck?” Luca’s alpharomones explode, soaking the room in acrid burnt spice.

I don’t look at him, instead watching the omega in my arms, the rise and fall of her chest, the flicker of her eyelids. “Right in fucking front of me. Like I would just let them.”

“Who?” Luca asks, voice dropped about six octaves and sounding pissed off as hell. More alpha than man at the moment.

I shake my head and smooth my hand over the uninjured side of Sadie’s face. “No fucking clue. I didn’t exactly stop to ask questions before I shot them.”

Luca’s jaw tics, but he doesn’t say anything stupid like I should have questioned them. He wouldn’t have been able to stop himself from killing them, either. Instead, he says, “You got a clean-up crew on it?”

Which is admittedly still pretty fucking stupid.

“Who the hell do you think I am, Luca?” Which means yes, of course I called a cleanup crew. And if one of the assholes I shot happens to still be alive, they’ll take them to a secure location where Swift can interrogate them to his heart’s content.

The elevator dings and it’s not long before Logan’s burned butterscotch scent reaches my nose as he rushes into the living room. He drops to his knees next to Sadie and me, not looking away from her pale face as he says, “Luca, go get my bag from my room.”

He pushes to his feet as Logan checks her over, his fingers seeking her pulse to check her heart rate, ear pressed to her chest to listen to her lungs. “What happened?”

“Some asshole slammed her head into the side of a car while trying to abduct her. Then he punched her unconscious,” I mutter, catching the way he pauses just for a second before he continues his examination again.

“You killed him?” He asks, voice as steady as his hands as he tilts her head to get a better look at the bruise blooming on her temple.

“Of course,” I reply.

“Good.”

Luca hurries back from upstairs and Logan takes the bag from him, riffling through it until he finds a small penlight. “Luca, can you get an ice pack from the freezer, please?” I watch as he carefully tugs one of Sadie’s eyelids open, then the other, shining the light in both to check her pupil dilation.

Then he sits back on his heels, and shrugs even though I can tell he’s anything but calm. “Near as I can tell, she’s got a concussion and bruising, nothing too serious.” His jaw tics as he says it, though. Any injury on our omega is fucking serious. She could have a paper cut and I’m pretty sure we’d all rush to get her a bandaid and kiss it better.

“Why is she still out?” Luca asks, sitting next to me. I reach to take the ice pack from him, but he scowls and presses it to Sadie’s head himself. “Shouldn’t she be awake by now?”

Logan nods. “Typically, yes.”

“I gave her a contradictory command,” I mutter, staring down at her. “Can that hurt her?”

Logan frowns and looks up at me, reaching out to lace his hand through Sadie’s limp one. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, the asshole who tried to take her alpha barked at her to stop fighting and she just… went fucking limp in his arms, pliant.” The sight damn near killed me. “He almost had her in the van, so I barked at her to fight. Is that… should I not have done that? Could that be why…”

I trail off. Logan narrows his green eyes at me, considering. “I’ve never heard of something like that resulting in traumatic brain injuries, Dox. I think what we’re seeing now is only because of the knock she took to the head.”

It only makes me feel moderately better.

I pull her closer, bending to brush my lips over her forehead.

I’ve fucked up so royally with our omega.

I never should have locked her in her room last night. It was a real dick alpha move, one that I regretted as soon as I did it. But a part of me loved knowing she was safely locked away, that she couldn’t disappear on us.

What she doesn’t know is that I went back and unlocked the door thirty minutes later. My guilt wouldn’t let me sleep until I opened that door and made sure she was actually okay.

She’d been in bed, asleep, tear tracks on her cheeks.

It was tempting to climb in next to her, to sooth her with my alpha purr, to hold her until she realized that she’s fucking important to us. Too important for her to be running off alone late at night.

I didn’t do that, though.

I did, however, sleep in the hallway in front of her door. Just in case.

By the time she got up this morning, I’d cleared the bedding away, and she had no fucking clue I’m so obsessed with her, with keeping her safe… keeping her in general, that I slept on the floor.

I knew it was also a mistake to leave things as they were this morning, but I didn’t really have a choice. There was an attack on one of our businesses last night while I was curled on the floor in front of our omega’s door.

We had to deal with it first thing this morning.

I never got the chance to tell her we’re working so fucking hard to make sure she’s safe. To make sure shit like what just happened doesn’t keep happening to her simply because of the pack she’s bonded to.

Sadie shifts in my arms, letting out a soft huff. A cross between a groan and a sob. The three of us hold our breaths, waiting until her pretty silver eyes flicker open, only for them to shut again with a wince.

A low whine pulls from her chest, one that has Logan leaping to his feet to turn off all the lights in the room, while Luca grabs a blanket and drapes it over he and I haul her up into a sitting position, until she’s straddling my hips, her chest flush to mine, head nuzzled into my neck.

I stroke a hand over her hair and down her spine. My purr rumbles to life in my chest, momentarily stunning me, because I’ve never purred for anyone in my fucking life. It’s rusty with disuse, but Sadie doesn’t seem to mind, melting against me like hot wax, her nose brushing against my neck as she takes deep breaths of my scent.

My alpha fucking loves this. Loves having our omega nestled into me, loves that she’s taking comfort from me, that the heavy weight of my palm against the back of her neck soothes her.

I should have known it wouldn’t last.

“Dox,” Luca says quietly from the seat next to us, sounding pained. “Can I hold her? My alpha is… going crazy right now. She’s keeping the bond shut.”

I frown and it’s on the tip of my tongue to say no way in hell, because I’m pretty sure after what I witnessed today, I won’t be able to let Sadie out of my sight, let alone pass her over to another man.

It doesn’t make the least bit of sense, but I guess that’s the way of it when you find your scent match, when they’re almost taken from you. I sigh and use my hand on her neck to gently push her away from me, ready for her to eagerly reach for Luca and leave me. But instead, she draws back, away from both of us, teeth sunk into her lower lip, the red lipstick she put on this morning smeared over her chin.

Still looks fucking beautiful, though.

So fucking pretty, even as she slips off my lap and sways on her feet. The three of us reach to grab her, hold her steady.

“Don’t,” she snaps in a whisper. “Don’t touch me. I don’t want you to touch me.” There’s a lie there, but also a truth. She wants her alphas to comfort her, but she doesn’t want to want us to touch her, so she’s being stubborn about it.

“Vixen, please,” Luca holds out a hand toward her. “I need to feel you to make sure you’re okay.”

Silver-gray eyes flick to his hand. A flash of hurt makes her face crumble for a moment before she reconstructs it. “I don’t know why that would be the case, Luca,” she rasps, voice hoarse from screaming earlier. Those screams are going to echo in my head for the rest of my fucking life. I’m sure of it. “You fucked up when you bonded me. I’m just a situation you’re stuck with, right? Something for you to just fucking deal with.”

She folds her arms over her chest and drops her gaze to the floor, shoulders hunching. It kills me to see her like that. Twice in less than twenty-four hours, I’ve somehow managed to make my omega feel small, defensive, hurt. Nothing like the woman who met me glare for glare the first time we met.

“Vixen, sweetheart,” Luca pushes to the edge of the couch like he might stand up and go to her. “That’s not what I meant. I promise you, that’s not what I meant. Open the bond, let me show you-”

“It doesn’t matter,” she shakes her head, still not looking at us.

“What doesn’t, Sadie? ‘’ Logan asks gently, kneeling at her feet like a supplicant, cold pack still clutched in his hand. His head tilted back, green eyes on her face, as she sucks in a breath and shakes her head again.

“Nothing. None of this matters. The bond is going to fade and then you won’t be stuck with me anymore. And I can go back to the people who don’t treat me like I’m a fucking leper.”

Luca pushes to his feet at her words and I’m right behind him. Logan stays where he is, though, head tilted slightly.

“We aren’t treating you like a leper,” Luca protests. “That is not what’s happening here.”

Logan slowly pushes to his feet, and Sadie watches him until he’s towering over her, her head tipped back to meet his gaze. Tension is radiating out of him, but he keeps his hand steady when he tucks a strand of hair behind her ear and his tone is soft when he says, “Tell us why you think that, mo chuisle . Help us understand so we can make it better.”

A humorless laugh bubbles up from her chest that cuts off on a wince as her hands fly up to the side of her head where a deep purple bruise is forming. “Well, let’s see, Logan. The first night I was confined to a tiny room with no windows and no fucking light on the opposite side of the apartment from all of you. I’ve been alone basically all fucking day, going stir crazy because there is nothing to do here. Last night Maddox locked me in my room, literally, like a goddamn prisoner. It’s been made clear to me on more than one occasion that the bond between Luca and I—the one that I didn’t actually ask for, by the way—will probably fade and thank god for that, right? Who would want to be stuck with a second-rate omega like me?”

“Hey,” I snarl. “Cut that fucking shit out right now.” She might have said it with a hint of sarcasm, but something tells me she believes that. That she’s second rate, that we really don’t want her. And I know I’m the reason for her feeling that way. “You’re our scent match. Of course we want you. And you’re not second-rate, Sadie. You’re strong and kind and sweet and fucking… everything . You’re everything.”

Her silver eyes lift to mine, tears shimmering along the lower lids, threatening to spill, but our girl is too stubborn for that, too strong. She takes a huge shuddering breath and then blows it out. “If that’s true, Mad, if I’m everything, then why are you treating me like I’m nothing?”

My stomach drops. How the hell did I fuck this up so badly? Because make no mistake, this is on me. Not my pack. I’m the one that put her in that room. I’m the one that—in an attempt to give her space, time to adjust to being an omega and bonded—told them to back the fuck off. I’m the one that is too fucking scared of caring for her, of falling in love and then losing her. It’s on me.

By the looks Logan and Luca are giving me, they feel the same fucking way, so it’s up to me to fix this. I take a deep breath and move an inch closer to her. “Omega, look at me.” There’s no command in my voice, but she still does as I ask, lifting those silver eyes to mine.

“I fucked up,” I say softly, hoping like hell she can see that I mean it. “The room… Omegas like small enclosed spaces. It’s the smallest room we have, and I thought you would feel more comfortable there. I thought you would feel safer with some space between you and a pack of men that you don’t know beyond that we are criminals. I wanted you to feel safe, Sadie. It’s so fucking important to me and to my alpha that you feel that way.” Her teeth sink into her lower lip again, a good sign I think, so I keep going.

“It’s not that we don’t want you, trouble, that I don’t want you. It’s that you might not want us. We aren’t good men.” I look up at Logan and Luca, seeing my truth reflected back at me. “We’re criminals and murderers. We’re trying to be better, to go legit. But we still have a lot of blood on our hands, will continue to have blood on our hands long after this. We do what we have to in order to protect the pack, the family.” I blow out another sharp breath. “We have so many fucking enemies, trouble. Wicked men that would give anything to get their hands on our omega, to hurt her—hurt you —in order to hurt us.” I look at Luca. “We agreed we didn’t want to bring an omega into this pack until we knew for certain that we could protect them. There’s always going to be threats, but it’s… particularly bad at the moment because we’re in a transition state.”

I reach out and carefully tug Sadie’s lower lip from between her teeth, smoothing my thumb over the plump swell, damp from being partially inside her mouth. “You’re ours, trouble. There’s no doubt about that. The timing is just fucked. What happened today is proof of that.”

The elevator dings at that moment and Ethan and Swift enter the penthouse, drawing our omega’s attention. I have to swallow a snarl. I want her eye on me. Always.

Swift doesn’t hesitate. He strides right up to Sadie, invades her space, all but pushing me out of the way, gold eyes latched onto the bruise on the side of her face. His fingers, blood still under his nails, come up to brush against it softly, so gently she doesn’t even flinch. “Who hurt my Cherrybomb?” When none of us answer—we don’t fucking know who hurt her and doesn’t that kill me?—he growls out even softer. “Who. The. Fuck. Hurt. My. Cherrybomb?”

I swear Sadie’s eyes go half lidded at the rage, the promise of violence lacing his tone. She shifts on her feet, thighs rubbing together just the slightest bit, and then a swell of cherry pie hits my nose. She is so fucking turned on right now.

That’s gotta be a good sign. If Swift, covered in blood and growling out vengeance, can turn her on, there’s hope for all of us, right?

“Tell me,” he whispers, fingers dropping to caress her bottom lip. “So I can rip them the fuck apart, omega. Even if it was a member of our pack.”

Sadie blinks in surprise at his words, and it’s enough to pull her out of whatever spell Swift just put her under. “It wasn’t,” she rushes to say. “It wasn’t a member of your pack.”

“Our pack,” Logan corrects gently, reaching out to lace his fingers through hers. “It’s our pack, Sadie. Yours.”

“Yours,” Luca echos, sounding like he means it with every ounce of his soul.

“Yours,” I agree when she looks at me with those shimmering silver eyes. A shiver moves through her and I can’t tell if she’s happy about our claiming, but she must be right? “I’m sorry I fucked up, trouble. It’s not because we don’t want you. Fuck, you’re our scent match, the missing piece of our pack. Of course we want you. But,” I shake my head and drop my eyes to the floor. “I always thought when we found our match we’d be settled, secure. Better able to keep them— you —safe. What happened today is a prime example of why we agreed we weren’t ready to find an omega, Sadie.”

Our omega blows an audible breath out of her nose and nods. “Okay, I understand where you’re coming from, but… from what I understand of omegas—which is admittedly very little—I need you, need my pack to be close to me. I need the comfort of your presence and your scents in order to feel settled. And while I appreciate you wanting to give me time and space to adjust, I also fucking hate it. So much.” Tears shimmer on her lower lashes and it makes my alpha want to tear the world apart to remedy what’s wrong with her, to destroy whatever made her cry.

Which is a problem because at the moment that’s me.

“I feel better when you’re with me,” she whispers. “Safer.”

Swift lets out a noise that’s a cross between a purr and a growl and then he reaches one hand over his head to grasp the back of his hoodie. A quick move and he’s pulled it off and thrust it over Sadie’s head. I reach out to help her get her hands into the arms and when her head pops out of the neck hole, she gives Swift a wide-eyed stare. “What the hell was that?”

He leans down and rubs his cheek along the uninjured side of her face, painting her in his scent even more. “You like having our scents around you. This is one of the easiest ways to do it. Dress you in our clothes.”

Sadie gives him a small shy smile and dips her nose to the fabric of her shoulder, inhaling deeply. “Better, trouble?” I ask, smoothing the loose strands of hair back from her face.

She nibbles on her lower lip and nods. “Better.”

“Alright, now that we have that settled, can you please sit down, mo chuisle ? You have a concussion.” Logan pushes between me and Swift to guide her back to the couch, where Ethan and Luca are waiting. She settles into the small space between their bodies and I note how she melts against them, like warm wax, molding into their hard angles.

Logan drops to his knees in front of her, hands resting on her thighs. “How are you feeling?”

“My head hurts and I think I have some bruising you can’t see, but I should be okay.”

Luca tucks her closer into his side, his lips carefully brushing her hair. “Will this in any way affect her…” He pulls back and looks down at her. “What were you sick with, vixen?”

A teasing smile curls our omega’s lips. “Still no luck breaking into secure databases, huh?”

Ethan shifts, turning to face her. His expression tells me that whatever he’s going to say next is going to be a shock to her. “Actually, I had no trouble breaking into them, heartbreaker. But I couldn’t find any information on you.”