26. Zara

Idraw back from Liam, my heart pounding. He stands up, and I watch him stride toward the kitchen, clearly needing to put some space between us. I don't blame him. Our scents have filled the air, mingling nicely together, and it makes me want to follow him and kiss him again.

But I don't.

First things first, I need to change my email address and make sure all my accounts are locked down tighter than Fort Knox. Then, come morning, I'll have to sit Ben down and tell him everything.

I grab my phone and start the process of creating a new email account, picking something random and not at all connected to my name or previous addresses. Once that's done, it's a giant pain in the ass to get it connected to my phone as the other one gets wiped.

By the time I'm finished, the clock is ticking towards Mia's feeding time, and I need to get my head down for a bit before I'm up again.

I trudge upstairs and collapse into bed, but sleep is elusive. My mind runs laps around Eddie's message, the startling kiss with Liam, and the impending talk with Ben. How do you tell someone that an ex might be psycho enough to track you down? Something tells me ‘over tea and biscuits' isn't going to cut it.

Mia wakes before I can fall asleep, so I drag the throw blanket and my pillow off the bed and walk quietly into the nursery, putting the stuff on the chair before I pick her up and see to her needs. She is still hot, so when I settle her back down, I stay, pulling the chair up close and sticking my hand through the cot bars to keep my hand nearby. Curling up, I fall asleep quickly now, exhausted by this day that has thrown up too many variables for me to be comfortable with.

***

When morning comes, and Mia is rising, I'm stiff as a board, and my arm is still stuck through the cot bars. I remove my arm, smiling at Mia as she turns towards me before I stand and stretch.

"Hey, baby. How're you feeling today?"

I gently press my hand to her forehead. She's still hot but not as bad as yesterday. I grab the thermometer and check her. It's 38.5 degrees, so bad, but coming down. That's a plus.

As I potter about, changing and feeding her, I hear a noise coming from the back garden. Frowning, I settle Mia back in her cot and go to the window to stare out.

Ben is standing in the middle of the garden, staring at something in his hand. He doesn't move. He doesn't do anything.

Turning away, I check on Mia, who seems happy to be changed and fed and back in her cot, so I grab the baby monitor and clip it to my pj bottoms. Returning to my room for some flip flops, I make my way downstairs and to the kitchen. The back door is still open, and it's a bit chilly. I wrap my arms around myself as I go out, pulling the door closed behind me. If he hears me, he doesn't turn around.

Crossing over the damp grass, my feet get wet and cold, but I don't care. Something is wrong.

"Ben?" I ask softly.

He doesn't answer me.

"Everything okay?"

"Fine," he croaks. "Go back inside."

Twisting my lips, I debate whether to leave him or press further. Whatever is in his hand has set off a downward spiral.

"I'm here if you want to talk. I don't judge, and I'm a great listener."

"Zara… just go back inside."

"No," I say with a huff and walk up next to him. "I don't think I will."

He turns to face me. He is haggard, and the bite on his neck is ugly, red and oozing blood. It is nasty. His mating bite.

"Oh, Ben," I murmur and reach out instinctively to cup his face. He leans into my palm and lets out a choked sob that rips its way through me and brings tears to my eyes.

He turns to me, sobbing, holding onto me as he bends himself practically in half to press the top of his head to my chest. Wrapping my arms around him, I stroke his hair and make a shushing noise as I would to a baby.

"I wish I could take this pain away from you," I murmur as he leans so far into me, I stumble. He grips the sides of my top with his hands, throwing us both off balance, so I grab him and sink to the wet grass with him. He curls up, his head on my lap as I comfort him, feeling helpless and lost. There is no way I can bring up Eddie now. But it's eating me alive. I don't know what I was thinking, but Ben needs to know.

Now is not that time, though. Hearing the back door open, I look over to see Liam hovering. I shake my head as he sees us, and his face goes sober.

Liam doesn't move towards us but doesn't go away either, clearly sensing the raw emotion that's gripped Ben. He looks at me, eyes asking a thousand questions, but I give him a small shake of my head again. Not now. He nods slightly.

Ben's sobs gradually subside to sniffles as he clings to me like a lifeline. It breaks my heart to see him like this, so vulnerable and shattered. His fingers grip my top less fiercely now, and his breathing starts to even out. He lifts his head from my lap, wiping his face with the back of his hand.

"Sorry," he mumbles, looking embarrassed and lost.

"Don't be," I say softly, giving him an encouraging squeeze. "We all have our moments, and I'm here for you."

He nods, swallowing hard as he tries to piece himself back together in front of me. I help him to sit up properly on the damp grass before standing up and offering both my hands to pull him to his feet. His legs are unsteady for a moment before he finds his balance again.

He has something in his hand that digs into my palm. A small tube of something. He glares at it and scowls so fiercely, I think he's going to break his skull. With a growl so loud and fierce, it rumbles the ground under our feet, he turns and hurls the tube back towards the house.

I watch helplessly as it hurtles towards Liam, who is still half asleep and not sharp enough to duck.

It smacks him square on the forehead.

"Oof!" he exclaims as I stifle my inappropriate giggle. "What did I ever do to you, man?" He rubs his forehead as I hide my smile behind my hand.

"Get rid of that," Ben grits out. "And sorry. Didn't know you were loitering."

"Not loitering," Liam points out huffily as he bends to pick up the tube. "Hovering to make sure you were okay."

"Get rid of that, and I'll be fine."

Liam glances at it and then opens the top, giving it a sniff before rearing back. "God, that's potent. What the hell is it?"

"Nicole's fucking hand cream. Get it out of my sight."

Ben stalks back to the house, and Liam quickly steps aside to let him in. I feel a bit raw and exposed after that. Ben has dismissed me without a second thought but I can't let that affect me. He is in so much pain. The mating bond knows it's been rejected fully now, and there's no going back. Ben is going to have to ride it out, and all we can do is be here for him when it gets too much to handle on his own.

Liam's expression softens as he watches Ben storm back inside, the hand cream now squeezed in his fist like it's responsible for all the world's ills. He chucks the tube in the wheelie bin by the back door and follows Ben's path with quieter steps.

I take a moment, staring at the space where Ben disappeared, feeling the dampness of the grass seep around my flip-flops. My heart aches for him, but I also think there's something more I should be doing—something other than just standing here.

Sighing, I follow them back inside, leaving the cool morning air for the warmth of the kitchen.

Ben is nowhere to be seen when I enter. Liam is washing his hands at the sink. He dries them on a tea towel and crosses over to me, wrapping his arms around me. I cling to him, and the world suddenly feels not right again, but not wrong either. I lean against him, hearing his heart beat in his chest, a steady rhythm that soothes me.

"I need to talk to him about Eddie," I murmur, biting my lip.

Liam leans against the counter and crosses his arms. "Maybe give it a bit, yeah? Let him get his head together first."

"Yeah." But when will that be? I can't take any chances that Eddie is on his way right now and will be beating the door down. Shaking my head, I pull away from Liam reluctantly. "No, he needs to know now." Before Liam can stop me, I bolt up the stairs and march down the landing to the end, where I knock firmly on the door, hoping he's not already in the shower and can't hear me.

"Go away," he says. "Unless Mia needs me."

"Mia is fine," I say calmly. "But I need to talk to you."

"I don't want to talk."

"It's not about you, if that helps. It's about me, and that phone call Liam took yesterday from my phone."

Silence, and then the door opens. Ben glares down at me, now a different man from the one outside. "Oh?" he almost growls, and I panic. Maybe this was a stupid time to come to him.

"Uhm," I fluster, and I see his nose pinch as my scent hits him in the face. "Maybe, I'll come back."

"Who was it?" he grits out, his tone pinning me in place.

"An alpha named Eddie Mowbray. He is my ex. I left him the day I came up here. He is not a nice man, and I wanted to get away from him. It's one reason I was so happy when I got this job. It was a fresh start."

He glares at me down his nose and my mouth goes dry. "What did he want?"

"He wants me back. But it's not like that, I don't think. He was a gaslighting narcissist who preyed on me while I was weak." Why am I telling him all of this?

The change in his expression shocks me. He goes from pissed off and annoyed to understanding and almost resigned. "I know what that's like," he murmurs.

"So, you aren't mad?" I venture after a pause.

He frowns. "Why would I be mad?"

"In case he tracks me down…"

His gaze goes hard again, and I gulp. "Is that a possibility? He knows where you are?"

"I don't think so. There's no way he could know. I was dumb with my phone, and that's how he got through to me. But that's been resolved. But I needed you to know so you can be prepared if he does show up."

"He steps one foot near you; I will rip him to shreds," he growls so ferociously that it takes everything I have not to step back from him. "Mia," he says, his scowl deepening again. "I meant Mia."

Blinking rapidly, I nod my head like an idiot. "Of course," I murmur.

He lets out a huff and slams the door in my face.

"Great work, Zara. That went really well."

I trudge back down the stairs, feeling like I've just walked through a tornado. Liam's in the lounge, sitting on the sofa, fiddling with Mia's soft toy, lost in thought. My heart twinges at the sight of him looking so serious.

"Everything okay?" he asks without looking up, his voice laced with genuine concern.

I slump down beside him and let out a long breath. "I think so. I told Ben about Eddie."

Liam's head snaps up, his brow furrowed. "And?"

"He said he'd tear Eddie apart if he came anywhere near Mia," I say with a half-smile.

"Sounds like Ben."

"Yeah." I rub my face.

Liam sets the toy aside and pulls me into a one-armed hug. I nestle against him, feeling the comfort I desperately need after offering the same to Ben. This is a circle of hurt and comfort. I just hope we can get over the hurt and move forward. Ben especially. Eddie means nothing to me. I wouldn't piss on him if he were on fire, as the saying goes, but his call has still left me a bit shaken and raw. The scent of summer rain washes over me, and I look up into Liam's face, his cute, smiling face, and everything clicks into place. This is an alpha I can rely on, who won't hurt me or try to control me. Slick gushes out of my pussy suddenly, and Liam catches the scent, his grip tightening on me.

"Zara," he murmurs, but I don't let him finish. I crawl onto his lap and cup his face, kissing him deeply, bruising his lips with the promise of more. He groans into my mouth, his hands sliding down to grip my hips, bringing me closer until I can feel his cock stiffen. We're a tangle of need and reassurance, of comfort sought and given.

His fingers edge under the hem of my top, tracing patterns on my skin that leave trails of heat in their wake.

I grind my pussy against him, and he growls softly, a low rumble from his chest that vibrates through my hands. The purr that escapes me is swallowed up by his mouth on mine.

"Fuck," he pants and pulls away. "So, is that a yes for a date?"

His quizzical expression makes me burst out laughing, and I nod. "Yes. Yes, I'll go out with you. But maybe we don't tell Ben right now."

"Good idea. He's grouchy enough."

My heart sinks again, "With good reason."

"Yeah," he agrees, lifting me up to place me next to him on the couch. "You'd better go over there before I ravage you."

I giggle and rise. "You go shower first. You need to get moving for work, and I need to check on Mia."

He nods but doesn't move, watching my every move as I saunter as sexily as I can in wet flip flops and damp pjs up the stairs to check on the baby.