17. Benjamin

As I ascend the stairs, my mind spins with thoughts of work, Zara, and bloody Liam, with his charming grin and flirty comments to my nanny. Something is brewing between them, and as much as I can tell Liam to fuck off, he's an adult. She's an adult. I'm nobody to tell them who they can and can't be interested in, but at the same time, she is Mia's nanny, and my responsibility is to my daughter and her wellbeing.

Reaching Zara's room, I push open her door gently and find Mia sleeping peacefully in the little crib. Her little chest rises and falls rhythmically, and for a moment, all is right with the world. She's why I have to pull my socks up, get my ass back into gear at work.

After watching her for a few heartbeats more, feeling that paternal pride settle warmly in my chest, I venture further into the room. It's Zara's personal space, and I feel like I'm invading it.

Mia stirs as I move closer, and she wakes up, letting out a squawk that signifies it is bottle time. Smiling, I pick her up and disappear quickly into the nursery where I place Mia in the cot and prep a bottle before I scoop her back up to change her.

As I'm standing at the changing table, Zara bursts into the room and comes to a halt. "Sorry, I forgot she was in my room."

"Hope you don't mind I went in there to get her," I murmur, concentrating on the job at hand.

"No, of course not." Zara comes closer and stands next to me, gazing down at Mia with love in her eyes that warms my dead soul.

She's good with her, I'll give her that. She's got this maternal instinct that draws her to Mia, and Mia to her, like two magnets. Zara smiles at me. It's tentative and full of uncertainty, but something softer that makes me want to maybe confide in her like Liam suggested. But I don't even know where to start.

I shake the thought away as quickly as it comes. Instead, I focus on Mia as I sit down with her and place the bottle in her little mouth. She blissfully guzzles down the milk.

"You're doing great," she murmurs, but then her gaze shoots to mine in panic. "I don't mean that in a condescending way, obviously. I mean, with going back to work and?—"

"Thanks," I cut her off with a tight smile.

I don't want her pity or, worse, her reassurances. But somewhere, deep down, I know she's not offering either. She's just trying to be supportive. It's a foreign concept for me, but my body relaxes just a fraction under her gaze.

Zara's eyes soften, and I reckon she can sense my internal war. She turns to me as if she's got something important to say, then hesitates. The air between us is thick with unspoken words.

"Benjamin," she starts. "I know things have been, well, a bit topsy-turvy recently with me moving in and everything, but I just want you to know that I'm here. For Mia, and for you, for whatever you need."

Her sincerity hits me like a ton of bricks. She means every word, and what's more, I believe her.

"Thanks," I say again because what else can I say? Zara doesn't understand the complexity of what she's offering — an omega, willing to stand by a rejected, single dad alpha who's got more baggage than Heathrow airport.

She nods and steps back, giving me space to finish feeding Mia. It's a simple gesture but one that tells me volumes about her respect for boundaries — something deeply appreciated, especially as her scent is overwhelming me in the peace of this room. The silence lingers comfortably as Mia finishes her bottle and lets out a satisfied burp. Zara takes her from my arms, and Mia snuggles instantly against her chest.

I watch them—the nanny and my daughter—and there's a warmth that refuses to be ignored. It wraps around my chest like a blanket fresh out of the dryer. Comforting. Welcoming.

Zara catches me staring and blushes slightly. "I'll just put her down for the night," she murmurs, heading towards the cot.

I nod, watching as Zara bends down to tuck Mia in. The tenderness in her movements, the soft croon she hums, is maternal and protective and catches me right in the heart. This omega is incredible with my daughter.

Mia's eyes flutter closed, her little hand gripping Zara's finger for a moment before sleep claims her. Watching them is like witnessing a private moment, and suddenly, I feel more than just gratitude or responsibility towards Zara. I feel this pull, this undeniable draw that I've been trying my hardest to ignore.

She stands back up straight, meeting my gaze with those deep-set eyes of hers that seem to look right into my soul. "I'm going to head to my room. It's been a busy day. Goodnight, Benjamin," she says softly before slipping out of the room.

"Night, Zara," I reply. "Oh, and yeah, call me Ben."

She giggles and nods once before she disappears.

I stand there for a while longer in the comfort of the nursery, lost in thought. There's something about Zara that disrupts the balance I've so carefully maintained since becoming a single dad. I'm not sure what that means or if it even means anything.

Once I'm sure Mia is settled, I reluctantly leave the nursery and head back downstairs, where I find Liam flicking through the TV channels.

"You and Henry concocted this grand plan, didn't you?" I ask him as I slump into my favourite armchair, an old, squishy, maroon leather thing that Nicole hated with a passion.

He pauses momentarily, which tells me everything I need to know. "What do you mean?" he asks.

Sighing, I rub my hand over my face. "Thanks."

He looks over at me and smiles. "Still don't know what you mean, but anytime, bro."

I nod, grateful to have these people in my life that, in my grief and despondency, I tended to forget about. It's time I remembered and stopped feeling so sorry for myself and acting like a dick to everyone around me. That gives Nicole power over me, and if there's one thing that I know, it is that she is dead to me. She will never be part of mine or Mia's life ever again. That determination lifts the cloak of doom a tiny bit and I sit back with a smile as Liam settles on an old football match from the 1980s.