Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

Sydney

This week was going better than the last several. I knew why. Amanda made sure I wasn't staying late by showing up at my clinic and refusing to leave until I did. I wasn't sure if my staff appreciated her lingering around, but I did. Amanda brought a different kind of energy to any room she was in. Add in a mix of cute puppies and kittens, and there was no stopping her. Her joy was infectious, and at times, a little obnoxious too.

But it all came from a good place in her heart. She wanted me to take care of myself and not just every fur-baby that came through my office doors. Funny how getting enough rest for the past few days seemed to have changed my overall health.

They always say that doctors and nurses make the worst patients. We forget that the rules for good health we prescribe to our patients apply to us too. But not having work to occupy my mind made it travel back to Cameron. I wanted to text him, but he had made it clear that he was busy. I should respect that, just as I would want him to do the same for me.

Walking on my treadmill I was watching the news. The weatherperson came on and didn't have anything nice to say. Friday and Saturday were a total washout with a prediction of severe thunderstorms, and now they were saying that there was a chance of rain for Sunday too. Well, that sucked, because I was looking forward to spending that day with Cameron.

Even as the weatherman spoke, there was a twinge of relief. Maybe the beach wasn't a good idea for our first date. I mean it was hard enough to keep my eyes off him in the alley, even with the traumatic ordeal. Another day of him bare-chested, with all those rippling muscles as he emerged from the water, well, that was going to be delicious, jaw-dropping, torture.

If I could withstand all of that, it didn't mean I was ready for him to see me in my bikini. I was fit, but more on the curvy side. My mother said I was blessed with an hourglass figure, but my hourglass was about fifteen pounds bigger than I'd like. Someone with a taller stature could get away with that, but I was barely five foot four. And every pound showed. Thankfully, my white doctor's jacket hid a lot of that.

With my long working hours, I didn't have the time to maintain an exercise routine. Twenty minutes on the treadmill now wasn't going to do what I wanted, at least not by Sunday. I needed a more intense workout and probably something better to eat than the peanut butter sandwich I had made for later.

It had been a long time since I thought about counting calories, but Cameron didn't seem to have an ounce of fat, and that made me feel a little insecure about my own body. Not enough for me to call and cancel, though.

I hope our date Sunday is still taking place even if the day at the beach isn't happening.

I clicked the off button on the television and got off the treadmill. It was almost ten. Normally I would be in bed, fast asleep getting ready for another long day at work the next day. But for some reason, I wasn't the least bit tired. There was no point trying to sleep now. I knew once my head hit the pillow, all I would do was stare up at the ceiling and think about Cameron and what it would be like if he was lying beside me.

I sure in hell wouldn't be worried about sleep.

We hadn't even been out on a date, and just thinking about him got me all wet. Amanda had a date so calling her was out of the question. I wasn't going to give in to my desire and call Cameron. My parents were traveling on vacation, so that left only one option. I dialed my kid brother, Ken. The kids should be in bed, so it might be a good time for us to catch up.

He answered the phone but all I could hear was screaming. Didn't sound like the kids. "Where on earth are you?" I asked.

"Football game," he replied.

I should've known. He had season tickets to watch them. Huge Patriots fan. Then again, we are from Boston. Most people were.

"Okay. I'll talk to you another time."

He asked, "Is everything okay?"

"Yes. I'm fine. Enjoy your game," I replied.

"We are having a barbeque, Sunday. Why don't you come?" he offered.

"I'll let you know later." He started shouting and cussing, which meant the other team scored. I never got how a game brought out a side of him that was so different from the kid I grew up with. "Love you," I said and ended the call, knowing very well that he wasn't even listening to me any longer.

Since I was wide awake and hungry, I might as well go out and get something...healthy to eat. Salad was so....green. But there was a Thai restaurant that I loved, and the owners even brought their dog to my clinic. Usually, I ordered delivery, but I needed to get out of my house for a while.

Shower now or later? It wasn't like I would be crossing paths with anyone at this time of night. They were only open until ten, so takeout was the best option.

Grabbing my keys and purse, I headed out the door and placed my order while I walked to my car. I didn't even bother to change out of my spandex shorts and sports bra.

Ten minutes later, I pulled into the parking lot and went inside. There was only one couple sitting at a table, and they looked like they were about to leave. I went directly up to the counter and was greeted with a smile.

"Dr. Swoony. Nice to see you. You work late again?" she asked.

"No. But didn't feel like cooking," I said.

"We would've delivered."

That was the norm. "I needed to get out." I paid for my dinner and said, "Have a great night."

"You too," she replied.

As I turned around with my bag, I saw the door opening, and Cameron walking in. Was I daydreaming? Could be. I'd been wanting to see him. And at least this time, he had clothes on.

"Sydney, I didn't expect to see you here," he said as he approached.

Did that mean he was wishing he hadn't? He was hard to read. Holding up my bag, I said, "Another few seconds, and you wouldn't have."

"Then I'm glad I showed up early. My order isn't ready for another ten minutes. And I get to see you again," he grinned at me, and I began to melt. Why do you need to be so freaking hot? " Want to sit and keep me company while I wait?"

I'd sit on a bed of nails if you asked me.

I should leave, but my feet were planted and no matter how much I willed them to move, they refused. "Sure."

He reached out and took my bag, then my hand, and led me to a table furthest from the other couple. Once seated, there was an awkward silence that seemed to last forever. Finally, he said something. "How's work?"

Not what I thought. Especially after him holding my hand, brief as it may have been. Not sure about him, but I'd rather him say what that was all about. No such luck. And he chose the topic last thing I wanted to discuss. Work? Really? It was as bad as asking how's the weather. "Fine. How is your head?"

Two could play that game.

He shrugged. "Totally forgot all about it."

I tilted my head so I could get a better look. "Seems like it is healing well. Keeping it clean?" I asked.

"Following the doctor's orders," he chuckled.

The hostess called Cameron's name, letting him know his order was ready. I got up and said, "That was quick."

"Too quick. Did you want to stay and eat here?" he asked.

The other couple got up and left, and the hostess started cleaning off their table. "They are closing shortly. I'm sure they would rather not have any customers lingering around preventing them from cleaning up and going home," I explained. It wasn't as though we were in some deep conversation that we should inconvenience anyone else for.

"True. I'd ask if you wanted to come to my place, but that is across town," he said. When I didn't reply, he added, "And I'm sure you need to get home yourself because you have work tomorrow." I nodded. "Guess we can finish this on Sunday."

That made me smile. "I'm looking forward to it. Have a good night, Cameron."

"Do you live close by? I mean, did you walk here?" he asked.

I shook my head. "About a ten minute drive at this time of night. My car is not far."

"If you wait a minute, I'll go and pay for my dinner, and I will walk you to your car," he said.

It wasn't as though I had a long walk. It was parked around the corner. "No need. I have my pepper spray with me this time," I said, patting my purse.

"I know you can take care of yourself. I was just being a..."

"Gentleman," I said softly. And I was being stubbornly independent. If Amanda had been here, she'd have given me a slap on the back of my head for being so dense. And this is why I'm still single . Hopefully, it wasn't too late to change my mind. "You know, it is late, and I'd like it if you walked me."

"I'll be right back." I watched as Cameron paid his tab. The hostess tried talking with him, but he seemed to brush her off and came back to me. "Ready?"

No. I'm not.

I nodded and he opened the door for us. It felt nice being outside without eyes on us. I knew they would be talking about it as they closed the restaurant. And I'm sure they would have a few questions for me the next time I visit. Might need to find another Thai restaurant for a while.

The cool air helped a little, but once again, he took my hand in his as we strolled down the street. I wished I'd parked further as it was way too short a walk. It might just be our fingers entwined, but it felt so damn good, and it was about to come to an end.

As we stood by my car, he released my hand but still held my dinner. "Thank you," I said, reaching for my bag. He held it a bit longer as though it was the one thing holding me there. Not true. I could've left as soon as I picked up my dinner at the restaurant, but I chose not to.

"What time Sunday?" he asked.

Should I tell him about the weather? If I did, he might cancel. The weatherman didn't have the best track record when it came to accuracy anyway. It was always possible that by Sunday; the sun would be shining, and it would be a perfect day for the beach. So, I opted to say nothing about the rain. "The best time is in the morning if we want to get a good spot on the beach."

"I'm an early bird. How about we go out for breakfast first and then head to the beach?" he suggested.

An all-day date. I like it.

"Okay. How about eight?"

"Make it seven. I know a place that is a little bit of a ride, but totally worth it. They have cinnamon bun-French toast that are addictive," he said.

That combination sounded very sweet and had more sugar than I would normally start my day with, but if it meant spending more time with Cameron, I'd eat a double helping. "Seven sounds good." I took my bag from him and said, "See you Sunday."

He leaned closer and I went up on my tippy toes and kissed him. Instantly, I felt the spark, and as he pulled me into his arms, the heat from him radiated so hot, that it ignited a need deep within my core. I opened my mouth to him, and his tongue traced my lips before entering. God, he tasted delicious. He moaned into my mouth, then quickly pulled away. My eyes fluttered open and I was shocked by his expression. Was it regret? Or was it surprise that I had taken the lead and kissed him? Either way, he wasn't smiling, and the distance between us left me feeling...cold.

"I'm sorry. I...I can't do this," he said, his tone filled with need and frustration.

Can't or shouldn't?

Was Amanda, right? Is he married? He held my hand in a restaurant that obviously knew him. A married man wouldn't do that, would he?

I had no experience with such things, but Cameron didn't strike me as a... a cheater. He couldn't be married. At least I hoped he wasn't. But if he didn't want to kiss me then why do it in the first place?

Oh God. My stomach twisted in a knot as I realized what had happened. Cameron wasn't about to kiss me. He was going to open my car door. No wonder he looked stunned.

And I feel foolish.

I should apologize. Let him know that it wasn't his fault, that it was mine. But I could feel my cheeks beginning to burn, and the words caught in my throat. I said nothing as I quickly slipped into my car and shut the door. I was beyond embarrassed. I never made the first move with a guy to top that, he pulled away, and that made this even more awful. My initial concerns of whether my breath stunk or if I was a horrible kisser no longer mattered. Whatever caused him to pull away, was still there. Cameron wasn't begging me to stay any longer. He was ready for me to be on my way, maybe as badly as I was.

Giving him a wave, I pulled away from the curb. I couldn't help myself, and looking in my rearview mirror, I saw him standing there watching me. I was hoping to see a wave or smile. But he stood there with a tortured expression.

Was it really that bad?

I know what troubled me. It was the powerful reaction that occurred within me as soon as our lips made contact. But I could've sworn he felt it too. Hell, I knew he did. It might have been a while since I'd been intimate with someone, but there was a telltale sign that was impossible to ignore. The hard bulge that had been pressed against me, briefly. So why did he pull away? What was he thinking?

I didn't want to know. It couldn't be a good thing, and I had enough of my own thoughts to deal with. Then I remembered that I hadn't changed from my workout clothes or showered. Even on a good day, I smelled of dog after a long day as a vet. Add a cardio workout and there definitely wasn't anything sexy or appealing about me right now.

What is wrong with me? I'm hot and sweaty. I didn't even shower. Why would I think he wanted to kiss me?

I chuckled to myself, stinky or not, I could name several reasons why I wanted to kiss him. But what drew me to him most of all, were his dark mysterious eyes, and the way they grew even darker, when he looked at me. As though he wanted me as much as I did him.

Even now, with how strangely he acted afterwards, there was a part of me that didn't regret kissing him. It had been a long time since I felt so...horny. I was beginning to think my sex drive had died when I became a workaholic. But it was just waiting for the right time and maybe the right person. It was going to provide me with some sweet dreams tonight.

Oh, Sunday can't come soon enough. Now I just have to hope I don't die from embarrassment first.