Chapter 18

CHAPTER 18

Ash

"I'm so stuffed." Brooks lifted his T-shirt and rubbed his belly in his lounger outside Sawyer's camper.

I'd grilled up hot dogs, stuffing them with jalapenos, and sliced up some potatoes and onions to throw on the grill. Sawyer didn't have many ingredients to work with, but it'd all turned out damn good if I did say so myself.

But I didn't have to pat myself on the back. Sawyer's friends had shown their appreciation by wolfing it down.

"Damn, son , Ash gave you a food baby!" Cash exclaimed right before taking another huge and rather obscene bite of his third hot dog and moaning theatrically. "Sawyer will be so jealous!"

I glanced sidelong at Sawyer to see how he'd take the teasing. He was probably regretting telling anyone we'd messed around. Cash was relentless.

But Sawyer only smirked and said, "Or maybe you're jealous, Cash. Since you obviously want to have his baby next."

"Okay, you're all weird," Shua said, popping up from their seat at the picnic table. "And Raphael is tired, so I'm gonna go."

After eating, the kid had dragged a turtle out from under Sawyer's camper and fed it some lettuce.

"Can Raph stay here? Our camper is all blocked out underneath, and I want them to feel cozy."

"Uh, sure," Sawyer said. "But they're not a pet."

I wasn't so sure about that. The turtle seemed to be accepting its fate as Shua petted its shell and told it goodnight.

Sawyer's other friends started standing one by one, gathering trash and thanking me for the food.

I shrugged. "No big. They were just dogs and potatoes."

Cash laid a finger over my lips. "Hush your lying mouth. They were jalapeno-infused heaven."

Sawyer shoved his hand down. "Go, already. Before you make this weirder."

Cash laughed and headed off after Brooks and Skylar.

Leaving just me and Sawyer.

"Alone at last," I said quietly.

"Yeah." He hesitated. "Uh, so…"

I stepped closer to him and hooked one finger into the waistband of his board shorts. "So?"

"How do we do this when we're not…"

"Mad at each other?" I asked with a laugh.

"Yeah." He nodded seriously, and his gaze kept darting around, taking in everything but me.

I cocked my head. "Aw, is Saw shy?"

"Shut up," he grumbled.

"I mean, I can piss you off if that's what it takes," I said. "I can talk about how I absolutely kicked your ass on the wake today."

He scoffed. "You wish."

Okay, that didn't work.

"Eh, you're right. This isn't gonna work. Maybe I'll just go see if Cash is interested in?—"

Wham.

I hit the side of the camper trailer with a metal clang. Sawyer's mouth came down on mine hard.

Fuck yes. That worked just fine.

Sawyer grabbed my jaw, forcing my mouth open for his thrusting tongue. I'd never been kissed like that before, but holy shit, I was on board. He didn't just kiss me, he devoured my lips and tongue.

I was a slut for it, too. Panting and moaning under the onslaught.

He pulled back a fraction and grinned smugly. "Not much of a fight now, is it?"

"Oh, you want a fight?" I teased.

With a twist of my body, I flipped our positions and pinned Sawyer. He scowled, eyes narrowed with annoyance. But he was hard as fuck in his shorts, and there was no mistaking the lust written all over his face.

"Let's take this inside," I said.

"What if I don't want you in my place?"

"Then your neighbors are gonna get a show," I said. "Because I'm not leaving until we both come."

He hesitated, and my heart skipped with the very real fear that Sawyer might change his mind. It was one thing to dry hump our way to orgasm in the heat of the moment.

But this was an intentional choice. Once we did this, there was no pretending it was just adrenaline-fueled lust. Or just a way of cooling tempers.

I leaned in, brushing a soft kiss over his lips. One that wasn't about fight, but about something softer that he might not be ready to handle.

I knew where I stood. My obsession with Sawyer started long before I could give it a name. He was my best friend, and I loved him with my whole heart. Maybe more than was normal or healthy.

And when he was gone, he was my void.

His absence ached like a missing limb. Like part of me was just…gone.

I did all kinds of shitty things to fill the void. I drank too much. I hooked up with his ex-girlfriend. I tried to get closer to him, but he was always just out of reach.

Now, he was right here, and I'd be damned if he sent me on my way.

I dropped to my knees and put my mouth over his clothed cock.

"Fuck, Ash," he growled.

He grabbed my arm and dragged me up. I braced for the inevitable rejection. He shoved me toward the steps instead.

"Get your ass inside then."

"About fucking time you asked."

I ran up the steps, Sawyer shoving me from behind.

The camper was tiny, and I banged my hip into a foldout table as Sawyer spun me back toward him.

He swallowed my yelp of pain with a ravenous kiss. Then walked me backward toward his bed.

We fell in a tangle, and my breath whooshed out of me.

"Shit. How much do you weigh?"

"Well, I'm not some delicate fucking girl," Sawyer said.

I groped his tight ass. "Mm, good," I said. "Because a delicate girl is not what I'm craving right now."

"No? What are you craving?"

I grinned up into his intense gaze. "A challenge."

"Game on," he murmured before gripping my throat with one hand and kissing me again.

I met his tongue with mine and parted my legs, inviting him between them. I didn't want this to go like last time though. It was hot, but there had been too many clothes and not enough contact.

I dragged his shirt up his back, and Sawyer raised up enough to yank it over his head. He was a little leaner than me, but still fit as fuck, and I stroked one finger along his treasure trail.

His abs twitched, and his hips thrust forward as if he was begging me to drag that touch down to his cock.

"You want something?" I asked.

"Yeah. To shut you up. You wanted my cock out there, so take it."

He rose to his knees, shoving at his shorts, and his dick popped free. It was long with a decent girth to it, pretty similar in size to mine. Which was good because we were already too damn competitive.

Sawyer braced a hand on the wall over my head and leaned forward to brush his cockhead over my lips.

My heart raced. We'd been heading here. Hell, I'd been racing here. Ever since that first impulsive kiss, I'd thought about why I'd done it. What it might mean. What I really wanted , and how long I'd been wanting it.

But that had all been theoretical.

Sawyer's cock was real as fuck. The spongy tip dragging moisture over my lips. The salty taste of his precum. The musky smell of him.

This wasn't an idle curiosity anymore. Wasn't a fantasy that I could shove away into a corner and pretend didn't exist.

"Okay?" Sawyer asked, apparently reading my expression too well.

I nodded and parted my lips.

He slid his dick into my mouth. And despite all our fighting and angry make-outs, he was gentle, as if he realized suddenly that this was new for both of us.

Salty flavor burst on my tongue. I curled it around his shaft, and his breath hitched. I closed my mouth around him and drew him a little deeper.

"Fuck," he whispered.

I was sucking cock. I was really doing it.

Sawyer's head fell back, exposing his strong throat and Adam's apple, and there was something so hot about that I moaned around his dick.

His eyes flew open and he gazed down at me with an intensity that made me feel naked.

"Your mouth is so much better like this," he said with a wicked grin. "You're gagging for it, aren't you, Ash? You need this."

I moaned an affirmative and grabbed his hip to tug him deeper into my mouth. The weight of his cock, the way it stretched my lips and made my jaw ache was just so fucking right.

Sawyer rocked, beginning to fuck my face, and I did gag. I gagged a lot. Sawyer started to stop, but like a hungry dog with a bone, I held on to him and doubled down, like this dick was the last treat I'd ever receive.

"Fucking hell, you're so—uh…"

I didn't know what I was, except desperately horny. Sawyer choked on a shout and flooded my mouth with cum.

I couldn't possibly swallow it all, and I choked some more, cum leaking from the corners of my mouth and running into my beard along my jaw.

"Sawyer," I said in an embarrassingly needy tone.

"I know," he said. "I got you."

He yanked my shorts loose and shoved a hand under my waistband to fist my cock. I came with one stroke, crying out so loud that Sawyer clapped his other hand over my mouth.

"You'll wake up the whole park," he said with a laugh.

I didn't care as my eyes rolled back and sweet release swept through me. My toes curled as Sawyer stroked me through my orgasm, then kept stroking, making me quiver and shake, drawing out the pleasure until it verged on pain.

"Stop," I gasped. "Too much."

He gave me one more squeeze with a sadistic grin, then released me and rolled to the side.

"Fuck, we're such a mess."

"Do you mean because of the cum or because of our baggage?" I joked weakly.

"All of it, I guess."

I bit down on my bottom lip. Damn. Did he regret it already?

Sawyer propped himself on one arm and gazed at me. Unlike him, I was mostly dressed, though my softening dick still hung out.

On impulse, I decided to shuck my clothes, rather than tuck my dick away. I wanted Sawyer to see me. Didn't want any room for denial. Not anymore.

I shoved off my shorts, then dragged my T-shirt over my head.

Sawyer's gaze swept over me, head to toe, taking in my furry chest, my pecs, my muscular thighs. Nothing delicate or feminine to see here.

"Why do you want this with me?" he asked suddenly.

"Uh…"

"I mean, is it just chemistry?" he went on. "Like, we've got a lot of it. I get that. Or is there something more?"

"Do you want there to be something more?"

He rolled his eyes. "I don't mean like love or anything like that. We've messed around twice. I mean…are you gay? Or bi?"

"Oh. Pan, I think."

"So you knew already?" Sawyer asked.

I wasn't sure, but I sensed a hint of disappointment. Did he want this to be some weird fluke of chemistry and nothing more?

"I wasn't sure," I said slowly. "I suspected, but I've never done this with another guy."

He exhaled. "Okay. Me either."

"You sound relieved," I said. "Why?"

His neck and chest were red from the sex, but the color grew brighter. Sawyer was blushing. "Just…I didn't want to feel like the only idiot whose fumbling his way through this."

"If that's you fumbling, you're really gonna blow my mind when you get it mastered."

Sawyer laughed. "All I did was stick my dick in your big mouth. Doesn't take a lot of skill."

I smacked his chest. "Rude."

"It was a really hot mouth," he added. "You sucked me so good. That's partly why I wondered if you'd done this before. With another guy, I mean."

"Nope." I grinned. "Guess I'm just a natural."

"Don't let it go to your head."

I folded my arms under my neck, adopting a cocky pose that would annoy Sawyer. "Oh, you know I will."

"Okay, well, it's been fun. There's the door. Have a nice swim back to your place, asshole."

I laughed. "What? No Round 2 with my incredibly hot mouth?"

"Not if you're gonna be a cocky dick."

I rolled toward him and murmured in his ear, "You know it turns you on. Stop fighting it."

He shoved me away, but he was grinning. "You're impossible."

"But you're starting to appreciate my charm," I said. "Took you long enough."

His gaze captured mine, serious suddenly. "I guess it did."

"Sawyer, this isn't just chemistry. Not for me. I know we've got a lot of shit to sort out, and this is all new, but?—"

Sawyer kissed me before I could say the rest. I didn't fool myself into thinking it was because he was overwhelmed with emotion or need. It was to shut me up before I said something neither of us were ready to face.

I hadn't turned down a kiss from Sawyer yet, and I wasn't about to start now, so I let him shut me up the best way he knew how. There would be time to figure out what all this meant later.

For now, I intended to hold on to it for as long as I could.

If it wrecked me, I'd enjoy the fuck out of my destruction.