Chapter 24

Olistaire

I can't get enough of her.

The taste of her lips, the flush at her neck, the way the soft skin between her thighs feels against my exploring fingers while I drive us through deserted streets. She makes those breathy, gasping little sounds at my touch that I love, and I need more.

"Oli," she hiccups, clutching at my wrist but doing nothing to move my hand away, as I dip my fingers beneath her panties. "The babysitter's going to hand Lucas over to Ella, we've got all night, there's no need to—ah!"

My heart hammers in my chest at her lustful little cry, my cock thickening and my desire for her ratcheting higher than I thought possible.

She loves me. She said that she loves me, and I don't know if I've ever felt so… So… Happy.

I bite my lip as a quiet moan escapes her, and fight the urge to stop the car now and bury my face between her thighs. We're almost home. I can hold out.

"There's no need to worry, princess." My voice comes out husky, and I slide a finger inside her. "I'll never get enough of you. No matter how many times I make you come, this will last all night."

"Such cocky words…" Her breathy laugh sets my veins on fire, and she tips her head to regard me under heavy lids as she rolls her hips against my palm. "For a man that's about to get sucked dry."

I let out a breath as I shove my finger as deep into her as it will go from this angle, deeply satisfied yet equally desperate for more at the choked sound she makes. When we arrive at my apartment, I can't get us upstairs quick enough, and by the time I unlock my door, she's giggling and fluttering kisses all over my cheeks, lips and chin.

"Bedroom," I mutter, scrunching her lovely dress up and up until her hips are exposed. "Now."

"I can't exactly get anywhere while you're manhandling me like this." She grins and leans back against the door, making no effort to move away from me, and I drop to my knees before her.

"Fair point."

When I press my lips against her panties, right over clit, she lets out a little mewl and pushes into me, one hand grasping desperately at my horn and shifting the angle of my head.

"Fuck, kitten," I groan. "Yes. Put me where you need me." My tongue dances against the soft silk of her panties, but when I hook my fingers through the edges to pull them down, she grabs at both my hands, stopping me.

"Wait," she gasps, "Wait, please."

I close my eyes and press my face into her soft stomach, panting. "Why? What's wrong?"

"Look at me, Oli."

I tip my gaze to hers, lips still pressed against her naval, and marvel at how beautiful she is. How breathless every angle of her makes me, how full my heart becomes with her every touch, how much I… How much I…

I hold my breath in frustration at myself, as I gaze up into her soft blue eyes. I can't even say it in my own head.

"I just… Let's have The Conversation real quick."

"The Conversation?" I repeat, confused. "Why does that sound capitalized?"

She bites her lip and runs her fingers through my hair. "What am I to you? What are we? What… What do you

want?"

Ah. The Conversation.

I press a kiss against her bellybutton and let out a slow breath. "You are everything to me," I whisper, because I don't know that I'm yet able to say this any louder. "I want all of you. I want to give you all of me. I…" My heart thuds arrhythmically, and I squeeze my fingers over her hips, feeling a frisson of energy zip along the lines of my Mate Mark. "I don't want anyone else but you."

"No one else?" she asks, settling her palm against my cheek. "Ever? Or just, no one else for now?"

Fair question, I think, but it still sends a stab of hurt through my heart that she has to ask.

"No one else, not ever again." And I know I mean it. Even without the mark, I know it's true down to my bones. I let her dress pool down around her legs, and I run my hands reverently over her hips and thighs. "Something's changed inside me, Grace. It's like a light's been switched on and suddenly the mysterious, alluring room I was in has been exposed for the rotted, unhappy place it truly is. I don't want anyone else, I don't want that life. I don't know how to do this, how to… be in a relationship, not really." As the words fall out of me, something like fear rears itself in my chest, but I try to quash it, to set it to the side and overcome. "I know I've said countless times before that I'm not looking for commitment, but with you… With you, I want it. Be mine, Grace."

She lets out a shaky breath. "Oli…"

I press my palms into the door and stand. Clenching my fist tightly, behind her head where she won't see, I steel myself to speak the words that she deserves to hear.

"I want you, Grace Davis. I want you in my life, in my bed, and in my heart. I want to stand beside you, always. Will you have me?"

Her eyes shimmer with tears, and when she nods my heart bursts with warmth, with hope and excitement and joy all rolled together. I lean towards her—but her hand snaps up between us, and she stops me once more.

I drop my forehead against hers. "What is it, sweetheart? Tell me what's wrong, and I'll do my best to make it right."

"God," she sighs. "Have I ever told you how sweet you are?"

My lips quirk upwards. "I could always stand to hear it again."

She offers me a watery smile, before slipping away and beginning to pace across the living room. I turn on the lights, so she won't trip on anything.

"Alright, so, there's something I have to tell you," she says, her hands fidgeting against her dress before she lays them flat over her abdomen. Her obvious and sudden nerves are starting to make a pulse of anxiety form in my own gut.

"I'm not as good at pretty words as you are," she continues, still pacing, "so I'm sorry if I slap you in the face with this, but…"

She stops, looks at me with a grimace, and then turns away and powers towards the doorway leading further inside.

"What?" For a moment I stare at her retreating form, completely nonplussed. "Grace, wait!"

I race after her, catching up in the hallway and grabbing lightly onto her wrist. "What's going on?"

"I think I'm going to be sick," she groans, and I let go of her.

I don't think she drank all that much tonight, if she drank anything at all, so it couldn't possibly be that. Worry now coursing through me, I follow her into the bathroom, but then she just leans over the sink and breathes heavily.

"Grace…" I move closer, rubbing one hand in soothing circles over her back while the other feels her forehead. It occurs to me that I'm not exactly sure how hot is too hot for a human, but I think she feels about the same as usual. "Are you sick?"

"No," she murmurs, shaking her head. "It can't be the baby, either, it's too soon. It's just nerves."

"The…" My blood suddenly runs cold, and my hand against her back stills. "What?"

She bits her lip, and then looks slowly up at me through the reflection in the mirror. "I'm pregnant."

The silence between us is sharp. I don't think I'm even breathing.

"It's not Brad's, I haven't been with him since long before I left him, and my cycle has been regular up until this month. I've only been with you. I'm…"

My hands jump away from her skin as if burned, and I take several steps back, heart in my throat. I open my mouth to say something, but I can't seem to speak.

Suddenly my thoughts are filled with my cold, hollow childhood. Memories of an echoing house, a nameless woman crying in the bathroom—different every few years, but always crying. My father watching me as I study, emotionless but satisfied for as long as I was quiet and studious and doing well at school. As long as I wasn't bothering him in his study, or making a fuss, or otherwise existing in a way that would remind him he had a flesh and blood child, since that child was the cause of his Fated Mate's death.

I caught glimpses of parental warmth through Rhokar's parents, always so loving and open whenever I visited after school—but that almost made it all worse. Made me more keenly aware of what I was missing, what I can't possibly know how to give to a child. How can I be a father, when I don't know what that looks like?

"I…" My voice creaks hoarsely from my throat, and Grace turns from the sink to face me.

"I'm going to keep it," she says quietly, although her expression is slowly shuttering blank as she watches me. "No matter what happens between us, I'm going to keep my baby."

I shake my head, taking another unconscious step back. I don't know how to process this, my mind is frozen, glitching, and fear is tumbling through me like an iced waterfall. It's not that I don't want… I do, I think I—I want Grace, and whatever else that may mean, but—I don't… What if I…

Disappointment and sadness sparks in her eyes, and she looks down. "I see."

"No, Grace, I—" I move towards her again, but then my doorbell rings and I pause, taking a second to process the sound, as if it can't be real. "Grace…"

It rings again, and with furrowed brows, I turn on autopilot and head out. That wasn't the buzzer from downstairs, but my actual doorbell. Who…?

When I open the door, I come face to face with Sera, who is wrapped in an overcoat and holds my spare keycard between two red-painted fingernails.

"You never took this back," she says, her voice sultry and playful. "I figured my invitation was still open. Need a warm body for your bed?"

I blink, my brain still trying to kick into gear. What in Zeus's over-glorified balls…?

She slips past me, and my mind slaps back into focus as she enters my home. I turn and reach for her, ready to gently but firmly push her back out, but she dances out of my grasp with a flap of her large wings, and chuckles.

"Grabby, are we?" She unties the sash holding her coat and shrugs her shoulders, and the material slips free of her wings and falls to the ground. "That's okay, I like it rough."

I suck in a sharp, angry breath as her completely nude body is bared to me, and I stride forward and scoop her coat back up.

"What do you think you're doing?" I say lowly, as I lift her coat towards her. "Put this back on and get the fuck out."

"Aw, come on, baby. What's got you all twisted up?" She trails her hand along my chest, but when I bat it away, she uses it as an opportunity to twist her fingers along my forearm instead. "You used to love it when I swung by unannounced."

Before I can so much as move, her eyes snap across the room, and her smile turns wicked and sharp.

"Oh, you've got company? Next time let me know, and we can reschedule."

I run a hand over my horn in frustration, and shove her coat against her chest as I take a step away, and turn to Grace. I don't say anything. I don't know what to say that wouldn't immediately sound like a sleazy excuse or attempt to cover up.

"Just go, Sera," I say instead, still watching Grace's face. She's doing a mighty effort to hide her emotions, but I can see the hurt clearly shining from here. "And leave my keycard behind."

When nobody moves or says a word, I look back to my ex, whose expression has turned ugly. I match it, letting my anger show as I stare into her dark red eyes. "Get. Out."

"What does she have that I don't?" she suddenly rages, throwing her arms out and displaying her nude body in full. "Look at me, I'm still in my prime! You used to love running your tongue over every inch of this body."

"Sera!" I hesitate to grab her while she's naked, to throw her physically out while I'm angry and might hurt her, and she uses this to her advantage.

"I'm twenty-nine years old, Oli! I'm still young and wet and hot for you, but you keep looking at this shriveled up husk instead of me! I can give you what you need, you can have as much pussy besides mine as you want, as much time to yourself as you please—I don't care! Isn't that what you need? Isn't that who you are?"

I suck in a breath, my ears ringing with anger and frustration and a deep well of hurt that keeps spilling over every time I look at Grace's face.

"She's fucking pregnant, Oli! Did she tell you that? Huh? What the fuck are you

going to do with a child? As if you want children, a male like you would choke and wilt in a home like that."

"If you don't leave right now," I say quietly, clenching and unclenching my fists as the ringing in my ears gets louder. "I will call the sheriff's office to have you removed. And everyone will know about this by morning."

She gasps, but instead of Sera walking for the door, it's Grace.

Panic grabs me by the throat.

"Wait," I whisper when she passes me, touching her forearm to stop her.

She doesn't even pause, shaking me away and turning her face from mine. "Let me go, Oli." She rubs at her wrist and quickens her steps. "I need to go."

And then she's out, and the door clicks softly behind her. I stand staring at her, not knowing what to do. Should I chase after her, is that what's expected? Do I respect her wishes and let her have the space she asked for?

"I guess that just leaves the two of us," Sera eventually murmurs, and I hear the rustle of material dropping to the floor.

Slowly, I turn and walk back towards her, once more picking up her coat. But her smile falters as I look down at her coldly.

"You came tonight knowing I'd be here with Grace," I say quietly, without much emotion, since all I feel is emptiness. "You saw how we were at dinner, saw us leave together."

"Oli, I—"

"You are arrogant and cruel. I don't have the energy to deal with your games." I shove her coat against her chest once more and turn away. "I made a mistake being with you."

I don't look at her again as I walk away, leaving her standing alone in my living room to see herself out.

And I don't stop thinking of Grace, not for one second, for the entire night.

Grace and our baby. My baby.

I… I'm going to be a…