Chapter Nine

Pure fury was the only thing keeping Cannon alive. Rage fueled every heartbeat. He didn't know what another visit to Knight's place would accomplish, but he had to go. He had managed to do as told and stayed away for weeks. Cannon couldn't do it any longer. They had been friends once. Knight used to know he could trust Cannon. Cannon had to make him see that again.

The entire drive went by in a blur. He had been drinking heavily for a few weeks now, but his mind was set. Cannon had been warned to let it go repeatedly. He couldn't. Knight didn't know it and didn't want to hear it, but Cannon loved him. Always had. He would do whatever it took to keep Knight safe. While Cannon had spent too many years worrying about opinions that didn't matter, he saw the truth now. If he had given Knight even a little reason to believe in him, he would have forever. Knight was good like that. He wasn't driven by fear of rejection and ladder- climbing the way Cannon was. Knight had chosen happiness and peace. He had chosen a life of beauty and art. Cannon had scoffed at those things when it mattered. Now he paid the price.

But Knight had to listen to him now. This was too important. If Knight wanted peace, love, and all that other hippie shit, then he needed to get as far away from Royal as possible before Royal got him killed… or killed him. Royal wasn't stable. He was a bottle of violence that only needed the slightest pressure to blow. Then what? Maybe Knight wouldn't even be alive when Cannon finally got his shit together and loved him properly. Cannon couldn't live like that. He had to save Knight from himself. Whatever it took.

When Cannon reached Knight's place, he stumbled from the car. It was possible he shouldn't be driving, but this couldn't wait another day. He banged on the door. Too late, he remembered the doorbell, which likely would have seemed less aggressive. He rang the doorbell, pushing several times in a row. It hit him that probably wasn't better. The door flew open, matching his energy.

Knight looked enraged. "Why are you banging on my door like you pay bills here?"

"Sorry." Cannon held up his hands in surrender. "I just need to talk. It's important."

Knight's expression didn't clear. "Are you drunk?"

"Possibly." Honesty seemed the best policy at this point.

"Did you drive here like that?"

Damn. "Maybe."

"For fuck's sake. Come inside. I'll fix you some coffee."

Cannon stumbled through the door. He didn't remember there being a step there. His aggravation fled as he stared at Knight's back. He had the perfect ass. Cannon nearly whimpered. If Knight would just give him one more chance, he could get it right this time. He wouldn't fail him. Cannon could stand up to his parents. Knight would see. Then they entered the kitchen and Royal sat at the island with a plate of food that smelled delicious. His fucking empty eyes watched Cannon's every move like the soulless bastard he was while he lived the life Cannon wanted.

" You ."

Royal didn't even flinch, despite the pure hatred in Cannon's voice. "Yes, me. What of it?"

Cannon stabbed a finger in Royal's direction. "All of this is your fault."

"All of what?" Knight asked, sounding calm.

Cannon ignored Knight to narrow his eyes at Royal.

Royal ate a slice of bacon.

Cannon's eye twitched. "I know all about you. You can play the innocent act all you want, but I know you."

Knight sighed. "Really, Cannon. What the fuck, dude? You come banging on our door and now you're acting crazy. Just say what you came to say."

Cannon's head whipped Knight's way. "Our door? Don't tell me you let this snake move in?"

Knight's chest expanded. His eyes narrowed. Cannon knew Knight was about to unleash on him. He had to get his words out before Knight tossed him from the house.

"Just wait. Listen." Cannon made a wild motion he couldn't control. "This guy is dangerous. You know me, Knight. I wouldn't lie to you. We've had each other's back enough times for you to know me. You know I'm telling you the truth. This guy is a hired killer. He's going to get you hurt."

There was something in Knight's eyes. For a moment, he thought he got through to him. Then Knight's palm landed on the island with a loud bang. "Then arrest him. If you know this, if you have so much fucking proof of this, then arrest him. You're here. It's within your power."

Aggravation poured through Cannon. "I can't."

"Why? Don't tell me it's because he has powerful friends. If you really had proof of this, it wouldn't matter. Nothing trumps cold, hard proof, so arrest him."

"I can't," Cannon shouted, losing the battle against his temper.

Knight cocked an eyebrow at him. "Then you don't know shit. You're just stabbing into the dark, trying to hurt me."

"I'm not. This motherfucker got me fired. I couldn't arrest anyone, even if he wasn't protected."

Royal kept eating breakfast as if nothing bothered him. That kept Cannon's rage at maximum capacity.

Knight snorted. "How did you come to that insane conclusion? Maybe you got fired because of this drinking. You're out here driving the roads like you give no shits about other people's lives. Maybe you're the problem."

Cannon shook his head. "I was golden. You know I'm a hard worker and always follow orders and protocol. Yet the day after Christmas, I got fucking canned. And then they warned me if I didn't steer clear of Quentin's bunch, I'd be the one who found themselves behind bars for harassment. Tell me that has nothing to do with him." He pointed at Royal. "Tell me his people didn't make that happen."

"Royal and all his people, as you call them, were with me in the middle of the goddamn sea from the day before Christmas all the way to more than a week afterward. Nobody was fucking worried about you. Sounds like you got yourself fired."

"I know it was him!" Cannon slammed his fist down on the island.

Royal stood.

Knight didn't need him. "Get the fuck out and don't come back."

"Listen to me, Knight."

"No. You've said enough. I've listened to enough. This is our home. I don't know why you're so hellbent on trying to ruin my life, but no. Just no. I've given you too much over the years. You can't have this." He stormed into the living room. Cannon followed, hoping against hope Knight would still hear reason.

But Knight opened the front door and waved him out. "You heard me."

The set to Knight's jaw said everything. He was half a second away from throwing punches. Cannon had lost.

"He must have some really good dick for you to be this stupid." With his final jab hanging in the air, Cannon let Knight throw him out. The door slammed behind him. Cannon stood staring at nothing, seeing nothing. Knight was done with him. It hurt more than any other time they had parted ways because he knew it was for good this time. He had said too many things to take back now.

A movement to his left caught his eye. Cannon turned his head. A familiar face stood nearby. Cold blue eyes bored into him.

"Xan. Hey. I was just—"

"Doing exactly what you were told not to do."

Cannon ground his back teeth. There was nothing he could say. He had dug his grave. It was too bad it was for nothing. Everything in his life always was.

Royal sat at the island and stared at Knight's back. He felt the crackle in the air. Knight's shoulders heaved as he stared at the refrigerator, saying nothing. Royal knew he needed to do something, but he didn't know what. A sick pit had opened in his gut halfway through Cannon's visit and kept getting wider. Knight was furious. He had a terrible feeling it was at him. Royal made it another solid minute.

"Knight, I—"

"Don't say it." Knight's voice was hard enough to cut glass. His gaze turned Royal's way. What Royal saw in Knight's eyes nearly made him heave. He had never been more terrified. "Just don't. Don't open your mouth and lie to me. I know everything he said is true."

"Knight—"

"I followed you the last time you left. I know . So just don't."

"You saw? You saw, and you still swore this was forever afterward?" Royal was baffled and scared out of his mind.

Knight shrugged. His fury fell away, leaving him looking wrecked. "I know. I'm a goddamn idiot who loves you more than I love myself. That's what I intend to keep doing until someone shows up at our door and rips everything away from me because I'm too fucking stupid to know when to quit. Until they catch you and throw you under the jail, I can't stop. Maybe not even then."

Royal shot to his feet. That was enough of that. He pulled out a stool and urged Knight to sit. "I need you to listen." Royal boxed him in, bracing his palms on the island on either side of Knight so he couldn't get away. "No one is ripping anything away from you. There's a reason Cannon never showed up here to arrest me, and it had nothing to do with him getting fired. It equally has nothing to do with Quentin. He can't arrest me because I'm a freelance contractor for the CIA. A lot of us who graduated from the academy are. We don't know how to do anything else, and the government knows it. They know most people aren't fucked up like us. Most people can't do what I do and then go home to sleep peacefully. In fact, they count on it. Why do you think no one shuts down these programs?"

"What?"

Royal took a breath. The fear hadn't left him. The truth probably meant very little to Knight. He was still a killer. "If you want me to stop, I will. You're more important to me than anything. If you say you can't live with this, then I won't make you. I'll be broke eventually because I'm too mentally unstable to do anything else, but I'll walk away if that's what you need. Nothing comes before you."

Knight clasped Royal's hips, pulling him closer. He still seemed speechless. Royal didn't know how to fix this. In his heart, he had known they were always on borrowed time. He had known Knight would eventually see the real him.

Royal pressed his forehead against Knight's. He closed his eyes and tried calming his heart. No one was more loved than Knight. "God, I can't imagine the mental gymnastics it must take for you to stay with me. Why did you ever even take the chance? I'm the biggest fucking head case. I must be exhausting. How could you possibly love me? You're the best person I've ever met. You're everything the academy didn't want me to know existed. Damn, Knight. You're so far above me. I honestly can't figure out why you stay. You deserve so much better than me."

Knight cupped his face, forcing Royal to hold his stare. "I've never met anyone easier to love." He reached beneath his shirt and fished out the necklace Royal had given him. He held it up for Royal to see. "No one has ever loved me like this. My whole adult life, I've been the guy people want to fuck and run, or worse. Cheat on and hide. If not that, then I'm just a friend while I pine. All the while, I keep coming back for more because all I want is something real. Someone to match the energy I give. From the first time we kissed, you've given me all of you. All your passion. Your energy. You've shown up and kept showing up." Knight chuckled. "Even when I'm pretty sure you didn't want it and hated me for it. You're the easiest person in the world for me to love. This is real. You don't walk away from what's real."

Royal felt like he had swallowed a tennis ball, and it was stuck in his throat. "I'm so sorry I let you down."

Knight kissed the tip of his nose. "You didn't."

"I'm so in love with you." Royal's voice cracked. It was out of his control. "Please say you still want this forever."

Knight pushed, making room for him to stand. He took Royal's hand. "Come on. I think you need to be held."

Royal let Knight lead him to their bedroom. He let Knight urge him into bed before joining him. Knight wrapped his arms around him and squeezed until Royal's eyes stung. All the emotions that had been pounded from him were coming back in full force a little more every day. Each day Knight loved him, Royal felt a little more human and a lot in love. He would do whatever it took to be a better person for Knight. Knight deserved a good man, but he loved Royal. That meant Royal had to be better. He would. Knight would see. He wouldn't regret Royal. Royal would make him happy.

For once, Knight's brain didn't race. He had trusted his heart, and it hadn't failed him. Knight had known Royal was worth all the risks, and he hadn't been wrong. He would let this go and focus on them. Royal needed him. This still wasn't a normal relationship. Likely, it never would be. Knight was fine with that. He had walked into things with his eyes wide open. Knight had known Royal had endured and hadn't walked away whole. But whatever was left of Royal was a million times better than anyone Knight had ever let into his heart like this. Everything Knight had said was true. Royal was so goddamn easy to love. Emotionally stunted or not, Royal loved harder than anyone Knight had ever met. Maybe because love was way more precious to him than anyone else. Whatever the reason, Royal was his. Knight wouldn't lose him.

"Knight."

"Yeah?"

"Only the stupidest person on earth would fuck you and run. Anyone who'd cheat on you or hide you deserves to have their dick cut off."

A smile exploded across Knight's face. He really loved this man.

"Knight."

"Yeah?"

"I'm not stupid like that."

Knight couldn't stop smiling. Royal was a rollercoaster he never wanted to quit. "I know."

Royal sniffed. "Good. Can we get married?"

Knight pulled away. He had to see Royal's face. He sounded like he was crying. Knight couldn't handle that.

Royal's eyes were red rimmed. He also looked unsure of himself—like he thought Knight would reject him. "Like I know you deserve a grand proposal and an even bigger wedding, but like, I really want to be married to you. Sometimes, I'm terrified I'm losing you. Like I said, I know I don't deserve you, so I think I'll wake up one day and none of this will be real. You'll be gone and then I don't know what I'll do. My mind can be a scary place."

He looked genuinely terrified and vulnerable. Royal always tore at his heartstrings. He deserved so much love. "There's nothing I want more than to be your husband."

Royal didn't smile or look any more relieved. "Are you sure?"

"Of course. You mean everything to me."

Royal nodded. "Okay. I swear you'll feel special."

Knight swallowed a laugh. God. He had never stood a chance. "I feel special every day I wake up next to you." It was true. Having Royal's love was like a wild animal, choosing one human to show affection. Knight was that human. Despite his jobs being for the CIA, Royal was the type to rip out a throat. Still… "Do you have any more confessions before we walk down the aisle?"

Royal didn't answer right away, as if he searched his mind. "No. I think that was it. Do you want me to get Cannon's job back? I was just being mean. He kept calling and showing up and he's just the worst."

A laugh burst from Knight. "I get it. If the shoe was on the other foot, I'd feel the same. But he worked hard for that job, and I don't think he'll be back."

Royal nodded. "Okay."

Knight chewed his bottom lip. Guilt washed over him. He couldn't stop his confession. "Is it wrong I find it a little hot that you'd torment someone for me?"

A laugh burst from Royal, lifting a weight from Knight's chest. Royal shook his head. "How're you going to ask me about morality?"

Knight couldn't stop smiling. Every worry he had disappeared. They would be together forever. "You should make love to me." Knight really wanted to feel Royal's nude body against his without the guilt. Without the intrusive thoughts about Royal's job.

Royal's expression changed, turning heated. He shifted onto his elbow and leaned Knight's way. Their lips met. Knight lost his breath. They were so perfect together. When Royal pushed his shirt up, Knight didn't hesitate to let him have it. His body covered Knight's. Knight's hands roamed. He pulled and pushed at Royal's clothes while Royal did the same. In no time, their nude bodies came together. Royal didn't rush. They kissed while Royal moved restlessly against him.

Sex was the one place Royal was rarely confident. It was as if he couldn't lose himself completely. He was incapable of giving up total control. Every time they made love, Knight went with the flow. Whatever Royal wanted, that was what they did. It was like he needed to try things, hoping to find the thing that finally set him free. There was nothing Knight wouldn't let him do. Knight was a sexual person. He would get off no matter what.

"I want to be inside you."

Knight's stomach muscles clenched. Fuck, it was hot when Royal stated what he wanted. Knight dug around until he found the lube they kept stashed. He handed it to Royal. "I want that. Do it."

Royal accepted the lube. His face was set as if he was determined to push through this. Knight stayed still, letting Royal work through his thoughts. Royal lubed his fingers. Knight claimed his mouth before Royal got too lost in his head. To his relief, Royal didn't hesitate to finger him. A moan slipped from Knight. He wanted this more than he realized. The more he got into it, the bolder Royal's touch became. Then something much larger pressed against his asshole. Royal thrust. Knight nearly jackknifed off the bed. Only Royal's weight kept him in place.

Royal froze.

Knight dug his fingertips into Royal's skin. "Oh, God. Don't stop."

At his encouragement, Royal thrust again. Knight strained against him, trying to take what he wanted. Everything about Royal felt so goddamn good. It was like his dick was curved in the perfect direction. Knight was half crazed with the need to come. Finally, Royal hooked his arm beneath Knight's knee and pounded. The sound of skin slapping skin filled the room, mixing with Knight's moans. Royal's jaw was set in a hard line. He watched Knight's every move. Knight savored the way his stare bored into him.

He gripped the sheets beneath him as his muscles seized. Knight held his breath. A cry burst from him as cum shot from his cock. He came so hard, cum hit his chin. Before he came down from his high, Royal's face contorted. He visibly fought to reach the edge. Knight couldn't look away and then Royal's expression transformed—like he saw heaven. Knight lost his breath. Royal was beautiful. He belonged to Knight. Knight's eyes stung and his throat swelled. This man would be his husband. He hadn't dared to dream that big.

"I love you."

Royal collapsed and claimed Knight's lips. "I love you too," he gasped between kisses.

Knight held him while their tongues played. His heart slowed. Their breathing evened.

"That was the sexiest thing I've ever seen."

Knight chuckled at Royal's claim.

"I'm serious. Let's do it again. Maybe not this second, though."

Knight's body shook with laughter. He was so fucking happy, he couldn't contain it.

"Why are you laughing at me?"

Knight shook his head. "I'm not. I'm deliriously happy. You have no idea how excited I am to spend the rest of my life with you."

Royal stroked his cheek with the back of his hand. "Same. Our breakfast is probably ruined."

Knight's cheeks hurt from smiling as he wrapped his arms around Royal's neck. "Speak for yourself. I have my breakfast right here."

Royal shook his head. He looked exasperated. "What am I supposed to do with you?"

"Keep me, I hope."

Royal snatched him from the mattress and squeezed him so hard, he lost his breath. He rolled from side to side, hugging Knight the way a child would a stuffed animal. "You're mine. Forever and ever and ever."

Knight roared with laughter. There was a playful guy inside Royal. He showed himself more every day. Knight couldn't wait to see the man he would be in five years. Ten. Twenty. Forever. Nothing could break them apart.

Keep an eye out for the next Damaged Devils, Victim .