Chapter 5

5

Max

“ I love Italian food!” Kiren bounced in his seat as we drove up to the valet for the restaurant.

“Glad I made the right choice.”

Kiren was a perfect little. Almost too good to be true. I hadn’t seen much of it play out yet, but I could tell he was going to be amazing. I was eager.

At the table, I narrowed my eyebrows and looked at him over my menu.

“I’ll bet I can predict what you’ll order.”

He smirked. “Am I that obvious?”

“Spaghetti.”

“How did you know?”

I laughed. “Daddies know things.” I’d yet to meet a little who didn’t love spaghetti.

His cheeks filled out as he smiled. Pink spread over his face as his eyes softened. It was beautiful.

Over dinner, we talked about the kink we shared.

“I always want to make sure my partner and I are on the same page,” I said. “When did you know?”

“In college,” Kiren replied. “I’d had feelings before, but I didn’t know how to label them.”

“Tell me more.”

“If I share, you have to share, too.” Kiren took a big bite of his food.

“Agreed.”

“My parents spoiled me a little. I admit I grew up privileged. I liked being taken care of that way. I wasn’t fighting for my independence like other kids who couldn’t wait to leave home. I didn’t get rid of my childhood things. I didn’t even really store them away. I kept them in a little corner of my room like a shrine and even as a teenager I still played. I’d lock my door and get out my cars and trucks, or make my stuffed animals have conversations with me. I liked to wear things in private, too. Sometimes when I was too anxious to sleep, I’d suck my thumb and fall asleep right away. I didn’t think about it much beyond those moments.”

“What did you wear?” I asked. It almost sounded dirty. Maybe it was. I loved the little wardrobe. It varied from boy to boy, but I enjoyed it all.

“Um, well, some stuff I bought online where they have everything in every size. Like pajamas with feet that are one-piece. They come apart at the backside.”

“I’m familiar with the style.”

“You are?”

I nodded once. “I have a past. But we won’t speak of anything like that, second date and all. Just know I’m a daddy and I’ve seen a lot.”

Kiren lowered his head. “Even onesies and diapers?”

“Ah, the most popular of items in some boys’ collections.”

Kiren blinked. “I never got to experiment much because I left college.” He turned his head as if that subject was off the table for now. “But I have, well, stuff like that, too.”

I let out a sigh of relief.

“What’s that sigh mean?” he asked.

“It means I’m glad you told me, because I am a fan of all of that.”

“In college, my experiences were mostly big guys who wanted me to call them Daddy while we—while we hooked up. Maybe they’d make me pancakes the next morning shaped like dinosaurs, but that was it. Never anything permanent.”

I leaned forward on my elbows, my food only half-eaten. “I assume they were young, too, still figuring it all out. I’m thirty-four and I can assure you I’m not exploring the daddy label or whether it fits. It is who I am. It’s what you get with me. But only if that’s what you want.”

Kiren stirred his spaghetti around and around with his fork. “I do want it. I’ve been dreaming of it for years.”

“You can’t know how happy it makes me to hear you talk about your feelings right now.” I wanted to reach out and touch his hand, but it was too soon. “Secrets are easy to keep when you’re alone. But being alone isn’t great all the time.”

Kiren’s eyelids lowered. “I know.”

“Hey.” I looked at the top of his head and all those mad waves of golden hair. “Nothing to be ashamed about.”

He glanced up, a small smile curving his cheeks.

“It’s like a good fortune or luck or something.”

“What is?” His voice came out small.

“That I noticed you. Found you. And even then, I could’ve just let it pass. I don’t date just anyone. I have to go to special places to find what I want.”

“Special places?”

“Like clubs.”

“Clubs? Like kink clubs?”

“Yes. That very thing. Then you know who you’re meeting. There’s no second-guessing or feeling like you won’t be accepted.”

“Because everyone is kinky?” He was still smiling.

“Yep. Not all the same. But accepting. Open.”

“I always wondered?—”

“Maybe I’ll take you to one some time.”

He dropped his fork. His mouth opened. “I’d be way too shy.”

What a sweetheart he was. A baby, really. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. Remember that, okay? I am firm about that in all my relationships. You have to speak up if you don’t like something.”

“Okay.” He started to say something else, then stopped.

“What are you thinking, Kiren? I’d like to know.” I kept my voice at a low rumble, easy and comforting.

He looked down at his plate again. “This is really dating, then? Not just a hookup after dinner?”

So that was what was on his mind.

“I think I made it clear, didn’t I? I want to date you. Get to know you.”

When he still didn’t look up, I added. “Truly, baby. I’m looking for something more than one night.”

Finally, he looked up. His eyes were shining brighter than the plates and glassware. “Me, too. Something more. Exactly that.”

“We’re on the same page, little one.”

“And Christmas is coming. It would be fun to have a boyfriend for Christmas.”

“A boyfriend who’s a daddy?”

He ducked his head. “Oh yes.”

When I went back to eating, my food tasted even more delicious. Kiren woke all my senses, putting them in heightened awareness. I had been attracted to him from afar for a week, but now, close up, I could allow my deeper sensations free reign. I wanted this boy. More, I needed him. I could actually picture him next to me in my bed night after night, maybe even for years to come.

He was the one.

I hoped.