Chapter 13

13

Max

W e spent every night that week together. I simply couldn’t bear to be without my boy now that I’d found him.

Kiren was excited to be at my place. His face beamed every time I asked him, “Can you come over again tonight?”

He’d gone home only long enough to pick up more clothes. Every night he was mine.

Friday arrived and we got to my house ready to take one car. When I got out of mine, Kiren bounded up to me, nearly knocking me over as he hugged me.

“We have the whole weekend!”

“We do. I was thinking, baby. I need a Christmas tree. And some more lights to go with the outdoor Santa and reindeer.”

“You want to go tree shopping?” he asked.

“Tomorrow, if you’d like.”

He jumped up and down. “We get to have a tree. Yay!”

“All right. Time to go for dinner. Should I change?”

“You look nice in your black pants and white shirt, Daddy.”

“But, well.” I wrinkled my nose at him. “Work clothes.” I pretended to sniff under my arm.

“You always smell so good, Daddy.”

“Let’s go in and freshen up fast. Then we’ll be off. I’ll drive if you tell me where to go.”

“Okay!” Kiren rushed into the house.

Side by side in front of the mirror, we brushed our teeth and combed our hair. Kiren’s waves were wild. I brought out some hair gel to tame them. He stood very still letting me style his hair.

When I was finished, I turned him to face the mirror and look at himself. “Good boy. You look so handsome.”

He reached up and touched his hair. “I’m so lucky to have you.”

“I’m the lucky Daddy to have a boy like you.”

There was no doubt we were falling in love. In truth, I had already fallen. I was in love with the man and the boy and the little. Everything about Kiren had me in its clutch. I was only slightly nervous about meeting his parents. I hoped they liked me. If they didn’t, it might put a strain on our tender young bond. But we would weather whatever came.

Kiren and I were forming a special trust with each other. The kink intensified it. With Kiren as a little, building that link to someone you could count on as a confidant to see the real you as a boy, a baby with baby needs, was more important than anything.

I knew Kiren still had another secret he hadn’t told me yet, but we were getting there. I could be patient.

Together, we walked downstairs and got into my car.

Kiren directed me to one of the highest-class neighborhoods on the outskirts of the city. Every house was fancy, huge, with locked gates, delicately landscaped yards and beautiful Christmas light displays obviously professionally done.

“Wow, it’s beautiful here,” I said, driving slowly up the winding, lamp-lit road. It got dark around four-thirty now, so it was full-on night, and the lights lit up the sky dimming the stars.

“It’s the next house after this one.” Kiren leaned forward, shaking a little. “There’s a gate. I know the code.”

We reached the little drive leading up to the gate. The keypad was on the driver’s side.

“Do you want to get out and punch in the code?” I asked.

“No. I’ll tell you. I trust you not to tell anyone even under threat of torture.” He laughed.

When the gate opened, we drove into a luxurious paradise of emerald hillocks and a hundred different trees. Some had lost their leaves for the winter, but others were evergreen. All the trees lining the driveway had Christmas lights on them. Some all white. Some all blue. Some all gold.

“It really is the most beautiful time of the year,” I murmured.

“Your decorations are my favorite, Daddy.” Kiren rocked back and forth in his seat.

The driveway circled to the front of a huge, Mediterranean style home with dormer windows on the roof, all outlined in lights. “Where should I park?”

“Right here in front is fine.”

Colorful lights outlined the porch and front door. I parked and said, “Hold on, baby. I’ll open your door for you.”

“I love that you do that for me, Daddy.”

I got out and ran around the car, helping Kiren unfasten his seatbelt. He was perfectly capable of all of it, but I liked doing all the things for him and he liked letting me.

I took Kiren’s hand in my own and we walked up the porch steps.

Kiren’s free hand reached out to an electronic pad on the door. He punched in a code and the door opened.

“No knocking or ringing first?”

“I’m free to come and go here.”

It felt weird to walk in unannounced. I squeezed Kiren’s hand as we walked through a huge foyer that led to a wide hall.

“Mom! Dad!” Kiren called. “We’re here.”

We both began taking off our coats. I hung mine by Kiren’s on fancy gold hooks by the door.

“Kiren?” A man came rushing toward us. He looked young. The only thing that gave away his age was his salt and pepper hair.

“Hi, Dad.”

The man didn’t stop until he was right in front of Kiren. He opened his arms and took him into a big hug. I noticed he did not put his hands on Kiren’s back. The hug was more air than substance.

Again, questions formed. Obviously, Kiren had scarring. Was it still painful? What had caused it?

“Kiren, it’s so good to see you. You don’t come over often enough.”

“Busy working,” Kiren quipped.

Just then, a woman rushed down the stairs to the right of us. “Kiren. You’re here. Mike, why didn’t you tell me they’d arrived?”

“They only just walked in.”

The woman hurried to Kiren and greeted him in the same way his father had, careful not to hug too tight. She kissed him once on each cheek. “It’s so good to see you.”

Finally, the three of them turned to look at me.

Kiren stepped forward. “Mom. Dad. I’d like you to meet my friend Max. Max, this is my father Mike and my mother Angie.”

Both parents eagerly shook my hand. “A pleasure.” They spoke almost simultaneously.

“We’ve heard all good things about you,” Mike said.

Kiren blushed, leaned toward me, and said, “I just told them you were nice. I’ve barely had time to say anything about you.”

Angie said, “You texted that he’s kind and nice and works in our company but in a different department from you.”

Mike added, laughing, “That’s all good things.”

“It’s my pleasure to meet you both,” I replied. “Your son is amazing, and I’m honored to be here.” Maybe that was laying it on a bit thick, but I meant every word.

“Well, come on inside to the living room. We have a cook who’s preparing seafood pasta. Let’s have drinks while we’re waiting.”

The living room had a grand, tall ceiling, a fireplace big enough to walk into, unlit, ornate couches and chairs, and its own bar. All the lighting fit the Mediterranean style of the home with windowed box lights and chandeliers that looked like candles.

Mike had a tray with wine and stemware already on the table. “Red or white?”

I chose white. I watched Kiren make the decision also to have white.

We all sat and began with light conversation. The subject changed to work. Mike and Angie talked about how nice it was that we both worked at their company. I didn’t say a word about Kiren not really liking his job. But I talked about my own job there and how much I loved it.

“Tell us how you two met,” Angie asked.

“He sort of played Secret Santa with me to get my attention,” Kiren replied.

“How did that work?” Mike asked.

“At the holiday party before Thanksgiving was when we actually met. I bought Kiren a drink and we talked and it was fun. After that, I started leaving little gifts on his desk every day. Anonymously.”

“Why secretly?” Angie leaned forward.

I shrugged. “I was having fun. I wanted to see if he liked them or threw them away. I didn’t want to impose on Kiren. He’s a quiet one.”

Angie nodded. “He is quiet.”

Kiren had taken a seat next to her on one of the couches. She touched his shoulder. “With Kiren it would depend on what the gifts were. But I don’t think he would throw any of them away.”

“They were little toys,” I admitted, watching their reactions carefully.

Kiren chuckled. “Yep. Just like Santa might bring.”

“Kiren still has toys from childhood he wouldn’t let us sell or give away.” Mike said. “In storage.”

I sipped my wine. “Turns out I won that one. He liked my gifts and then he caught me. I’d dropped one by his cubicle that I’d meant to save for another day.”

“I confronted him,” Kiren said proudly. “We decided to have lunch together and now we’re here.”

The entire evening was pleasant with food that was excellent. I had hoped to discover more hints about Kiren and his past, but no clues came my way.

On the way home, Kiren was a little too quiet.

“I like them.”

Kiren smiled at me. “Me, too.”

“I expected them to talk more about work and the company, but they didn’t.”

“They’re proud of what they’ve accomplished, but they like to get away from it. They spent years building it. And they had me. It took all their time. They like taking it easier away from work now. They both still look at all the books and paperwork, meet with lawyers and all that stuff. They want to keep up to date and have the final word. That’s how they found out about us so quickly.”

“I was very glad to meet them.”

“Thank you, Daddy. I know they liked you.”

“Well, I was on my best behavior.”

Kiren laughed.

When we got home, Kiren dropped his coat on the floor and didn’t pick it up. He jumped and hopped up and down, skipping on the tile by the staircase. Impatient.

I picked up his coat and hung it by mine.

“What’s going on, baby?”

“I’m itching to get into my rocket jammies.”

“They’re in the dryer, remember? I’ll go get them.”

“Yay!”

He’d reverted quickly to his little self, as if holding it back all day had taken its toll. My boy needed me. We had the whole weekend to play.

I went past the kitchen to the laundry room and brought out a basket of clean, freshly dried clothes.

Kiren was hopping all over the living room. He had Brobear in his arms and was talking to him. “Do you think the Christmas tree would look good there? Or there?” He held the bear out as if the toy could see.

I watched him silently. He was so cute. I loved that he was comfortable here with me and could be who and what he was. The release of the things deep inside a person was healthy. Too bad too many humans chose to wear many masks every day and throughout their lives. The needy, sweet, adorable boy who wanted a daddy for Christmas wouldn’t have to do that if he remained in my life. I wanted to see to it that he received in me an authentic and loving partner.

“Remember, we’re going shopping for a tree tomorrow,” I said.

Kiren turned abruptly as if caught doing something wrong. “Daddy! I didn’t see you there.”

“I love watching you play and talk to your toys.”

He held Brobear tightly against his chest. “I feel very little tonight, Daddy.”

“Come here.” I set the basket of clothes on the side of the couch and held open my arms.

Kiren ran into them, squishing his bear between us as I hugged him around the shoulders.

“Why very little?” I asked, bringing him around the couch to sit in my lap.

He rocked against my chest, his legs swaying. His black trouser rode up exposing his black socks. His shiny black shoes glimmered.

“I don’t know. My parents make me feel like a kid again whenever I go to their house.”

“Do you suppose that’s why you’re feeling very little right now?”

“No. I’m very little because I need you, that’s all.”

“We’re facing the weekend with no interruptions. Except tree shopping.”

He giggled. “Yay!”

“You can let loose. The sky’s the limit. I don’t have any lines you can’t cross. Except maybe setting the house on fire.”

He jerked in my arms and his body froze. “I would never, Daddy.” His voice quivered.

I remembered too late that he didn’t like fire. No fire in the fireplace. He’d happily commented when he’d discovered my stove was electric.

“I only meant that as an example, sweetheart. You’re a good boy. I know you wouldn’t ever do something like that.”

“I a good baby boy.” His voice stopped shaking but remained low. “I still need diapers, though.”

“You do?”

He nodded, rubbing his forehead against my collar.

“Thank you for telling Daddy. That’s very good. We can manage diapers for you tonight.”

He dropped Brobear between us and reached around me, hugging.

“Do we need a bath tonight, too?”

His head came up. He kissed me fast, a tease. “Daddy, I don’t like having my shirt off. Is it wrong to take a bath with a shirt on?”

“Hmm. I don’t think there are any rules that we can’t make ourselves. And tonight, the rule is you can keep your shirt on if you want.”

“Okay. I want a bath.”

“Are you not quite ready to tell me why you want your shirt?”

“Nosy nokee. Can’t do.” He rubbed his sweet face up and down my blazer lapel.

“All right, then. Let’s go up. I’ll start the bath.”

“Ya, Daddy.”

I carried him upstairs and lay him gently on the bed. I thought about taking him downstairs. The tub had water jets. The changing table was right nearby. Also, the diapers and pacifiers.

But I was a slippery daddy, too. I had stashes of those things upstairs. And my bedroom had become an intimate, safe space for both of us. I wanted everything to happen there.

Kiren kept Brobear tightly curled in one arm. His head went back on the bed, his eyes rolling up before they closed.

“Stay still for Daddy. I’m going back downstairs for the clothes basket.”

His arms came up, eyelids closed but twitching. “Daddy. Don’t go.”

“It will take me ten seconds. Can you count to ten?”

“Nokee. Ten too much.”

“Your rocket jammies are in that basket.”

He took a deep breath. “Don’t go. Undress me.”

I thought about being firmer with him, but he was so needy in the moment, and such a baby, I couldn’t do anything but cater to his whims. I would do anything to keep that high and keep Kiren closer. He was letting loose, letting himself go deeper into his trust. I couldn’t pause to deal with anything else.

Later for the jammies. Right now, I wanted to hold and undress my boy.