15. Marius

He was going to rip a tear in the world. This damned curse was the most frustrating experience he’d ever had. Pacing while Tahlia and Fara built up the fire, he tried to recall deciding to fly here on Ragewing. But there was only the moment with Tahlia in the stables, then… Then nothing. A fog. Darkness where memories should have been.

He went to Ragewing and set his head against the dragon’s side. Ragewing blew gently into Marius’s hair, tugging it from its leather tie. The warmth of the dragon was more comforting than sitting by the fire with the females. They had arranged two fallen logs near the flickering tinder. But here, with Ragewing, Marius didn’t have to look at Tahlia’s sweet mouth and pert nose or see the hurt in her dark honey eyes. Ragewing wrapped him in a wing, blocking the restless breeze of this dead kingdom. He could still hear the distant hum and howl of ghosts though. They were in the forest but, thankfully, seemed to be content to remain there. At least, for now.

In the dimness of his wing enclosure, he dragged the tip of his boot in the mud. He was just so tired. Damn Ophelia to the seven hells. Forever. Longer. He was going to strangle the female no matter what the consequences.

The toe of his boot made a line and brought to mind the notes he’d seen on Ophelia’s desk when he’d visited her. Notes about runic magic.

Wait. He straightened and Ragewing, noticing his change in mood, uncovered him.

“I can draw it in the dirt!” Marius hurried over to Tahlia and Fara, hope making everything seem brighter.

He stole a stick from the fire, not caring that the end was red hot and smoking. Crouching, he began to write in the mud.

“Marius? What are you doing?” Tahlia leaned forward, her jasmine scent filling his nose and alerting his body to her nearness.

He scooted back and kept on writing.

Ophelia cursed me with illegal ancient magic. If I touch you, you will die. I don’t recall why I came here, but now it feels as though the answer to breaking the curse lies in this terrible land. The curse won’t allow me to speak of any of this.

Well, that was what he tried to write. But instead of those words, his scrawling only produced unreadable combinations of letters and symbols.

Standing, he shouted in rage and tossed the smoking and muddied stick into the darkness beyond the fire. Facing away from the others, he shuddered and swallowed against his tight throat. The rolling hills and fog-laced land stretched into the night, seemingly endless and dangerously barren. Ragewing let out a grumble and the ground trembled slightly under what must have been a stomp.

“You promise to leave tomorrow, yes?” He couldn’t turn back around to look at Tahlia. It was too much. He felt as though Ophelia had snapped his ribs, reached into his chest, and removed half his heart. The other half belonged to Ragewing and it beat sluggishly, dying a slow death on its own.

“Maybe.”

“Ah, right. You can lie.” He hadn’t intended for his words to hold the ire they did, but he was just so damned irritated with this curse.

“Easy now, HC. Don’t treat me like Maiwenn does. I’m not lying to you.”

“You said you would leave after one day. You already lied.”

“I didn’t say after which day.”

Fara snorted. “Now, that is the Fae side of you talking there.”

Marius ran his hands through his tangled hair and whirled to face the females and the dragons. “I’m sorry I’m behaving like a madman.”

“Not a madman,” Tahlia said as she stoked the fire, “just like someone with a big problem who takes it out on everyone around them.”

A pang of regret hit Marius’s already severely injured heart. “I said I’m sorry.”

“Show it.” Tahlia met his gaze, her eyes burning.

“HC?” Fara whispered.

“High Captain,” Tahlia whispered back.

“Oh, right,” Fara said.

Tahlia stood, and though she didn’t come closer, she felt closer to Marius somehow. “You said you care deeply for me, yes?”

Fara’s eyes widened, then she rose quickly and went to the dragons, muttering about poultices.

“I did. I do,” Marius said, the curse creeping up his throat again to snare his tongue. His feelings for Tahlia were tied to this dark magic. Of that, he had no doubt.

Tahlia’s eyes shuttered briefly as if his words were a balm. He took a slow breath. He should have been saying that and more to her every moment they were together, back when he still could speak freely. He’d thought they had all the time in the world.

“So,” Tahlia continued, “how do you expect me to leave you here like this? I feel for you as much as you feel for me. Possibly a great deal more.”

“Not possible.”

Her lovely dusky-rose-hued lips formed a sad smile.

“I can’t watch you die for me,” he said.

“I’m a Mist Knight. You probably will watch me die at some point.”

“That’s for the order. For the realm. I won’t have your life shortened because… I can’t…” Shaking and baring his teeth, he fisted his hands until his knuckles nearly broke the skin.

Tahlia lifted a hand. “Eh, breathe. I know what you mean. Because of whatever is going on with you specifically.”

“So you agree to leave tomorrow?”

“Not at all.”

He threw up his hands and paced a circle. “Of course.”

“I understand what you’re saying, but I don’t agree with it. If I were in your place, would you stay for me? Would you and Ragewing risk all for me?”

He halted. “You know I would.”

“I didn’t realize that.”

“Well,” he said, tongue burning as his desire to tell her about the curse and the cause rose again, “you do now.”

“Don’t expect any less of me than you do of yourself. Don’t degrade me like that.”

“I, Tahlia, I…”

“You were trying to tell me about whatever is happening by drawing in the mud, weren’t you?”

“Yes.” Pain shot down his throat.

“We will figure this out. Now, why don’t you sleep and I’ll take the first watch. Fara, will you take second?”

“Aye.”

Tahlia nodded, looking like she was the highest rank here and enjoying the feeling of leadership. A reluctant grin tugged at one side of his mouth.

“I won’t sleep, but I’ll try.” Marius hated this, but he couldn’t argue. He would do the same if he was in her boots. “But first, I need to wash.”

Her gaze tingled between his shoulder blades as he walked down the sloping, mossy ground toward the small creek. He had heard that once you choose your mate, you become incredibly sensitive to their presence. Shaking his head, he hoped he hadn’t doomed her. She should be with someone who wasn’t wrapped in a madwoman’s snare. Someone kind who laughed more than he did. She deserved joy. Not this mess. But jealous pangs hit him as he imagined such a pairing. No matter what, he wanted her for himself. Even while he hated himself for the emotion.

After washing his dirt-smeared hands and face, he did his best to wash the mud from his trousers. When he returned to their camp, he settled himself across the fire from Fara, and Tahlia took up a spot on the nearest log. She gave him a sweet smile as he stretched out on the sturdy old bedroll he always brought on missions.

“This roll smells like the disgusting sausages Titus loves,” Marius said.

Tahlia and Fara chuckled.

“Can’t wait to try one,” Tahlia said. “Do you think we will be called to attack soon?”

He knew she was attempting to help him imagine a future when they were past this experience.

“I do. Very soon.” Likely, they’d miss the first call. What would the other riders do when they realized Marius, Tahlia, and Fara were missing?

Gods, he hoped he’d see his friend Titus again and with his own mind intact and Tahlia on his arm. He drifted into musings, his thoughts floating away like sparks in the wind.