Chapter 73

Chapter

Seventy-Three

Four weeks later

ORION

A lthough we are surrounded by guards, I am still on alert. Having both the king and his new bride wandering through the city is risky, even when everything seems relatively calm. Their reception has been surprisingly warm, the nobility from the Uppers and the Lowers appreciating their backgrounds and strengths. Besides, after the coup, support for the king has been pouring in.

I am not on duty, but I stand with the guards, glancing between the king in front of me and Alyx in a clearing. She looks so regal in her gown, which is simple in design but well-made and easy to move about in, just in case.

The last four weeks have been . . . intense. Figuring out who was loyal to Joha and Alyx was a long and arduous job, and there were several unpleasant instances. Thankfully, Alyx’s training meant that she and Joha were never really in danger. I am never far from them, and Crux is always hiding in a dark corner somewhere.

They married last week.

It was simple for a royal wedding, in part due to preference, but mostly because of how quickly it was thrown together. Many of the king’s advisors tried to convince him to wait, but neither of them wanted to. I do not blame them after everything that happened. None of us take anything for granted anymore, particularly how much time we have together. What made the wedding so special and different to previous royal weddings, though, was that the whole city was able to play a part. Joha and Alyx walked through the city after the ceremony to meet their people—the whole city, not just the Uppers. I think that was the moment they fully won over the people.

Alyx was born into nobility but grew up as an assassin in the Lowers. She has brought the two into a strange, tentative harmony that no one else would have managed. She is a queen of the people. News of who she really is travelled fast around the city, and now she seems to be loved by all. They appreciate the fact that she gets involved in their lives, not just sitting in the palace all day surrounded by nobility.

Of course, it was a nightmare to keep them safe with an event on such a large scale, but everything worked out well.

Standing back with the semicircle of guards around us, I focus on Alyx. The queen. My queen. She wanted some time to herself. Standing in a beam of sunlight, her head tilted back and eyes closed, she looks as though she is praying. I wish I could see inside her head and know what she’s feeling right now. There is a broken piece inside her thanks to her brother’s betrayal and her actions to keep us all safe. Joha, Crux, and I are trying to heal that wound, but it will take time.

I can give her that. I may not have the charm, looks, or skills like Joha and Crux, but I am strong and dependable. I love her with every fibre of my being and will remain with her always. She is my best friend’s bride, but she will always be mine. I will never betray her, and I will carry her damaged heart with mine to shelter it from the guilt and grief in her mind.

CRUX

Perched on the edge of a roof, I stare down at the scene before me.

Alyx looks radiant as she clutches a single flower against her chest, her head tipped back and eyes closed. She looks like she is in pain, and that makes me twitchy, wanting to do something to help. She wouldn’t appreciate that though, not when she is trying to work through the demons in her mind.

Ever since that awful day when Alyx killed her brother, everything has changed mostly for the better, but it changed her, damaged her in a way none of us can heal.

Alyx and I had a conversation about how our relationship was going to work going forward. A queen cannot be seen having a relationship with an assassin. I would give up my life for her in a heartbeat, but that is not what she wanted. She knows me too well and understands how trapped I would feel in trying to live the life of a noble. Being in the spotlight and attending balls is my idea of a nightmare.

This meant that I needed a reason to be around the king and queen, but not constantly, so I blend into the shadows as their spymaster. This gives me close access to my Alyx, but it also means I can come and go as I please. My criminal empire mostly runs itself now, yet I put in an appearance now and again to make sure they remember who is in charge.

I am not a good man, and I don’t pretend to be. Alyx knows this and does not expect me to change who I am.

Staring down at her, I shake my head in disbelief. How is this my life? I just wish she was not hurting so much and that I could do something to help. Instead, I hang around and get information for them, waiting for when she’s ready to talk to me about her brother.

She always comes back to me. It is just a matter of waiting. Thankfully, I am a patient man and she is more than worth the wait. I have been in love and waiting for her since we were kids. This world has tried to tear us apart time and time again, but we will always find our way back to each other. Alyx is the love of my life, and she holds this assassin’s heart and always will.

JOHA

I am the luckiest man in the kingdom—not merely just because I am king, but because I have the most amazing woman at my side, one who would do anything to keep us all safe. She did the impossible and put us before even her family. She did not just save us that day, but the whole city.

Slowly but surely, we are making changes by bringing people together and trying to shrink the gap between the Uppers and Lowers. There is a lot of work to do. The former Queen Mother did a lot of damage to the royal family’s reputation, and those years where I was simply a puppet are difficult for people to ignore. Now that I have Alyx by my side, though, they can see how I have changed and how determined we are to make the city a better place. Alyx is seen as a hero for killing Atlas, and I have already heard songs being sung about her bravery and beauty, even though I know they wound her, a reminder of what she lost.

A gentle breeze tousles my hair, the air warm and sky bright. My gaze isn’t on the sky, though, but the gorgeous woman standing by the ruins of her family’s estate. The sunlight filters through a cloud and seems to shine directly on Alyx, like a heavenly spotlight. My wife is beautiful, but in sunlight, she is exquisite.

My wife. I am still getting used to that, and it always brings a smile to my lips, even on a day like today when it is shrouded with sadness.

She was the most beautiful bride, and the memory of it is engraved into my mind. That was the best day of my life, and I will never forget it. Every time I close my eyes, it replays through my thoughts, and I am transported back to that moment.

The cathedral was bedecked with white lilies, the aisles full to bursting as everyone tried to get a glimpse of the new queen. When she arrived, wearing the traditional dark colours we favour for weddings, I was dumbstruck.

She might have gone for a traditional colour, but the dress itself was anything but. The fitted bodice displayed her curves, the black fabric glistening like stars. The skirts bloomed out at her waist, trailing behind her in an explosion of sparkles and stars. Her gorgeous red hair was pulled back in a complicated braid, and she wore a silver band upon her head, with spokes fanning up and outward like sunbeams. Diamonds and silver flowers were woven between the spokes, making it glisten with every movement. To finish it off, her see-through black veil rested on the headdress and was also adorned with sparkles. She looked like a walking star, and she was mine.

Even now as I look at her, watching from a distance, I swear I can see an outline of her wedding dress. I don’t, of course, as it is the light playing tricks on me.

I am obsessed with her and utterly in love. Things have not been easy, but we are working together, all four of us, to create a kingdom that is safe and happy. She has helped shape me into the man I am today, giving me the confidence to finally take my rightful place.

Today is a difficult day, though, as it is the anniversary of her parents’ deaths and she is grieving. Given the circumstances, it is especially difficult this year, her brother’s betrayal making everything sour. I am glad we are able to give her the space to do so while also keeping her safe though, as I have no doubt she would have come here alone if we did not arrange this. When we left the palace, she insisted that we walk and not take a carriage. She wanted to feel the breeze in her hair, and it was not far. Besides, it is good for the people to see us, as she reminded me.

Yes, today is a hard day, but tomorrow will be better. Everything is better now with her at my side.

My queen.

My love.

ALYX

Gathering the courage, I open my eyes and stare up at the wreck that once was my family’s estate. My heart aches as I take it in. I have not returned here since that fateful day, as it was always too painful for me, but I knew it was still here.

I always wondered why it was never torn down and turned into something else, but now I know the truth. Constance insisted that it stay in its burnt, destroyed state as a constant reminder of what can happen at any time. She was trying to control everyone with fear.

The city is healing from her and Atlas’s betrayal, and change takes time, but I can already see a difference.

I am a queen now. I sometimes wonder if I would have still ended up with Joha, Orion, and Crux if my family wasn’t murdered and I was introduced to society as a lady. There is no point in thinking like that now though. Everything is so different, and if the last year has taught me anything, it is that we have to make the most of every moment.

Marrying Joha was one of my happiest moments, but that was for the kingdom, since they needed a queen. Officially, Joha is my husband, but really Orion and Crux are just as much a part of my life. The last month has been a crazy whirlwind, and we have been so busy that this is the first chance I have had to take a breath and properly grieve.

In my mind, Atlas still died the night of the fire. The man who stabbed me and took control of the city was not my brother. The man who did all of that was sick and twisted. He might blame our trauma, but I went through the same event and did not turn out like him.

Staring at the wreckage, I let the painful memories and guilt move through me, not trying to stop them. This needs to happen for me to move on. I cannot keep living in the past.

My throat tightens up, and my eyes sting as they fill with tears. “I’m sorry, Atlas, for how everything happened,” I croak out, feeling that damaged, fractured part of me shift. Pressing my hand against my chest, I push past the feeling and finally allow a few tears to fall. “I hope you are now at peace with our parents.”

Would they be happy with my life now? Have I made them proud despite the lives I have taken over the years? No, I cannot think like that anymore. They are dead and have been for years. I cannot live in the shadow of ghosts any longer. That is why I am here today, on the anniversary of their deaths—to take back control and release myself from the weight I place on my shoulders.

“It is all over.” I am not sure whom I am talking to. Myself? My parents? Either way, every word I utter is filled with the truth. “I have been ruled by my grief ever since that day. I spent all of these years trying to get revenge, and it is finally time for me to be happy.” Several more tears break through, but I do not bother to wipe them from my face or hide my pain. “I will always love you, and I hope you are proud of me, but I have to live my life now.” Taking a deep, shaky breath, I prepare for the hardest part of it all—walking away.

Striding up to the wall that separates the estate from the street, I place my hand against the scarred brick and squeeze my eyes closed for a moment. This is one of the most difficult things I have ever done, but I meant what I said—I cannot live life searching for revenge.

I have to live it.

I can feel the weight of Joha’s, Orion’s, and Crux’s gazes as they stand back, giving me the space I need. Their support gives me strength, and I know they are the path I am supposed to be on.

Opening my eyes and taking a deep breath, I bend down and lay a lily at the entrance to the estate. The flower was in my wedding bouquet, and I wanted to bring it here for them.

Straightening, I smile at the burnt house even as a tear rolls down my cheek. “Goodbye,” I rasp.

Turning around, I walk towards the three men who make my life worth living, leaving my painful past behind me. I step forward to embrace my new life. I will never forget who I am or where I came from, but I was being held back.

I smile at Joha and Orion, and Crux. All of them wait and watch. They are three men who never should have been mine but are, and I thank the gods for letting me meet and keep them. I do not know what the future holds for us. No doubt it will not be easy, but we have endured much worse, and I know we can survive anything as long as we are together. Our kingdom will prosper. We will make sure of it—as one.