Chapter 49

Chapter

Forty-Nine

CRUX

A s I watch the woman I love between the chimneys of the closest building, I feel my heart break for her. The open space behind the palace is the perfect place to get lost when you need some time alone, which is exactly why she came here. A lake takes up a large portion of the wild garden, and near its centre is a small island, which is connected to the mainland by a bridge. A large tree and small metal structure are all that fit on the tiny island, and that’s exactly where I find Alyx.

She stares out over the water, her knees pulled up to her chest and her arms wrapped tightly around her legs as though she can keep herself together if she holds on firmly enough.

Alyx is the strongest woman I know, and she rarely lets anyone know what she’s thinking. I can count on one hand how many times I’ve seen her cry. Even then, that has only ever been on one specific day each year, and that day is today.

Today would have been her brother’s birthday. From what she told me, she was his world. He was older than her by several years and absolutely doted on her. While the death of her parents ripped her life apart, losing her brother destroyed her.

We never speak about it and have a mutual understanding that on this day, she will disappear to be by herself. I’ve never pushed the matter, knowing it won’t help anything, but there is no way I’m going to let her out of my sight when she’s grieving, so I always follow her. Usually, I let her roam wherever she wishes, but today, I need to know she’s okay. Whether she’s aware that she has a tail, I’m not sure. What I do know, though, is that she has never called me out on it.

Soft footsteps from behind me have me freezing, and I slowly shift my position to see who’s walking this way in the middle of the night. This part of the palace is rarely ever used—one of the reasons Alyx chose to escape here in the first place.

“This is the only place we haven’t checked yet.”

The king’s voice reaches me, and I have to hold back my snarl of annoyance. Can they not give her even a modicum of peace? Where the king goes, so does his guard dog, and sure enough, the brute’s gruff voice floats up to me.

“She’s an assassin. We will not find her if she does not want to be found, my king.” He sounds pissed off, as though tracking down an assassin in the middle of the night is not what he planned for his evening.

The two of them round one of the outbuildings, their voices hushed and footsteps light, but they are not quiet enough to get past me. I sit and watch as they sneak through the grounds, using the buildings to hide their movements.

“Something is not right, Orion. She was so quiet today,” the king comments, his observations far better than I would have thought from someone of his status. “She’s not in her rooms, so I need to find her.” The urgency in his voice tells me it’s time to take action.

Swinging my legs around, I leap from the roof of the one-story building and land on the ground with a barely audible thump.

“Alyx is safe, and I will make sure she stays that way,” I promise, my voice dark. “You can return to your rooms.”

It gives me great pleasure to see that my entrance caught them by surprise, the men spinning with their weapons raised, ready to attack. Well, at least the guard is ready to attack. The king just looks wary, trying to decide if I’m friend or foe today. I don’t blame him after the last few times we saw each other.

“Crux. What are you doing here?” Orion growls. His sword is drawn, and I know he’s ready to use it if I so much as twitch in their direction. I suppose his reaction is legitimate, since I tried to kill him not that long ago. Oops.

Orion is so fucking tall, he makes me feel small, so in the shadows of the building, I stand taller, rolling my shoulders back. “I’m making sure she’s protected.”

The king hurries over, moving into the shade of the building I was using to watch Alyx. His expression is open, his voice giving away exactly how he feels about her. “Is she okay? I need to see her.”

It must be nice to have the freedom to love so openly, but it is a risky move for a king to be so obvious with his emotions.

“She’s not okay, but she will be,” I answer. “By tomorrow, you will have your usual Alyx back. Tonight, though, you need to leave her alone.”

The clear order in my voice causes Orion to bristle, his whole body seeming to grow with outrage. “You cannot tell the king what to do, assassin.” He begins to step forward with a hiss, but then he seems to think better of it and stays at his king’s side.

They are clearly not going to listen to me without more information, so with a growling sigh, I relent. “Look, the only reason I have not killed you for touching her is because for some unknown reason, she cares for you both, so I am telling you this because of that. Do not push me on this. Leave her alone tonight or I will be forced to stop you.”

There’s silence as both of them watch me, various emotions flashing across their faces. I did not think they would heed my warning, yet they seem to be taking me seriously.

Suddenly, the king gasps, his eyes widening. “You love her.”

It sounds more like an accusation than a question, and I have to give him credit for working it out. He’s right, and I don’t bother to deny it.

Orion’s eyes narrow as he watches me, obviously waiting for me to tell the king he’s mad, but that never comes, and his entire body stiffens at the realisation. He already knew this, he had to after our fight in the barn, but he seems to have pushed that to the back of his mind. Wishful thinking perhaps?

“Yes, I do. I have since I met her. Now I just need her to realise it,” I say without a modicum of shame.

We slept together, and I told her I will burn this world for her, yet I don’t think she truly understands the depths of my feelings for her. I am obsessed. Every thought, breath, and fibre of my being belongs to her.

My entire life was built for her.

“Can someone like you truly love?” Orion snaps, his jealousy obvious, yet when I look at him, I realise he doesn’t see it that way. His emotions are even more tangled than mine are, and I am not about to help him work through them.

I snort instead, shaking my head. “I’m not even going to answer that question.” I shift my gaze to the king, ignoring Orion. “Ever since I met Alyx, I knew she was destined to hold a piece of my heart, and she has, even all these years later.”

I don’t expect any guards or interruptions, since my rats would warn me, but the longer we stand around here chatting, the greater the chances are of us being spotted. The fact that my rats let the king and Orion through makes me pause though. Why didn’t they warn me about them?

“How did the two of you meet?” Joha asks quietly. Unlike his guard, he does not seem to be as jealous, wearing an understanding expression on his face. He knows the feelings I have for Alyx because he has them too. It is impossible to deny them. How could he deny me loving her when he so clearly does as well?

I consider not answering his question, but perhaps they will understand my attachment to her if I explain it. It might finally get Orion off my back.

“Alyx’s story isn’t mine to tell, so you will have to ask her about the details, but after her family was killed, I found her hiding in the Uppers, her hiding place doing nothing to protect her from the rain.” My voice lowers both in volume and pitch as I remember that day so many years ago. “She was soaking wet, filthy, and shaking from the cold. I’m not sure exactly how old she was at the time, perhaps six or seven? She was a little thing.” I shake my head at the images that fill my mind. When I saw the state she was in, I made myself a promise that she would never have to look at anyone with such fear again. It makes me sick to think of what could have happened to her if I had not been there that day.

“She didn’t stand a chance on her own, but there was a spark in her that made me pause, an inner strength that shone back at me. When our eyes met, I knew she was mine.”

Silence settles over us as they absorb what I just told them. Joha looks troubled, but Orion is watching me with an expression that I have never seen on him before, as though he is reassessing me and realising that perhaps he judged me too harshly.

He hasn’t. He is exactly right to judge me by my crimes. I have committed atrocities, but for her, I will do anything.

“You saved her,” Orion finally remarks.

I nod slowly. We all know what happens to young women and girls who have nowhere to go. While she might have lasted a day or two on her own, there is no hiding the fact that she would have ended up dead without my intervention.

“I was a thief at the time and working for one of the gang leaders, but I wanted to give her safety so she would never have to be afraid ever again. I took her in and started teaching her the ropes, working my way up in the gang until I had enough followers to kill the boss and create my own. I created an empire for her, but she’s never seen it for what it is.”

Orion looks confused again as I mention my crimes and the deadly underworld that I run, attempting to weigh that against the fact that I saved the woman he has feelings for.

“Is today the anniversary of her parents’ deaths?” the king asks quietly, dragging my attention back to him.

It’s a sensible assumption given what we have been speaking about. I won’t give away her truths, though, because it is up to her if she wants to share.

“No, but she is mourning all the same,” I explain, giving away as little information as possible. I can see they want more, but they will have to wait. “Give her today and then ask her about it tomorrow.”

The king frowns in consideration, clearly struggling with the idea of leaving her when she’s grieving. However, he knows she wants space and that I won’t let anybody disturb her.

“You’ll watch her?” he asks, yet there is an edge to his voice that tells me this is no request—this is an order. “To make sure she’s safe?”

Thankfully for him, it is an order that I am happy to follow.

“Always.”

That single word holds so much meaning, the atmosphere heavy as they make their decision to leave her with me. The king is not used to being denied, but having seen his reactions tonight, I am reconsidering my opinion of him. He is not as entitled as I thought, giving Alyx what she needs even when it goes against what he wants.

Joha finally nods, accepting that he will learn nothing further tonight. He shares a look with Orion, and the two of them turn and begin walking to the main palace, skirting the buildings to give them cover. Just before they disappear from sight, I notice Orion throwing a narrow-eyed look at me over his shoulder. He doesn’t like me, that much is clear, yet he seems to trust me with Alyx’s safety.

Climbing back up the side of the building, I take my place between the chimney stacks, something settling inside me when I see Alyx in the same place. Releasing a deep breath, I watch over the girl who owns my soul as she grieves—like I always have and always will.