Chapter Thirty-Eight

C hapter Thirty-Eight

A ndy

Behind the Headlines: Humanising Athletes and Revealing their pure HEARTS

Article written by Arnabelle Frost

In the world of professional sports, athletes often find themselves under the microscope of intense scrutiny – both on and off the field. When a team, such as the Sydney Hearts, becomes embroiled in a scandal where illicit substances are taken, the media frenzy that follows can often overshadow the morals of the players involved.

But, amidst the sensational headlines and clickbait, it's crucial to remember that these athletes are not fictional characters in a novel – they are human beings subject to the same pressures and temptations as anyone else. Me included if I'm truthful – and if you are honest with yourselves – possibly many of you?

Shadowing each of these sports stars is a story – a narrative deeper than the surface-level shock and disappointment. A story that involves love and laughter. Perseverance despite setbacks and injuries. Families who suppo rt and cheer but aren't always around as players spend months of the year travelling the country. Have they found themselves drafted and playing first grade without any hard work – of course not. They've spent hundreds of weekends and thousands of afternoons training with blood, sweat and tears splattered on the grass, so spectators have something to watch on tv – or even live – if they are lucky enough.

It seems easy to say the Sydney Hearts are now in tatters – their reputation coloured with scandal, but that would be a startling hyperbole. Additionally, it would be vacuous of me not to acknowledge the conflict of interest or perceived bias in me personally writing this piece, bec ause as half of Sydney already knows, Andrew Gloss, captain of the team in question, is the man I love. Furthermore, I was at the amazing nightspot – Nexus (honestly, it's currently the most underrat e d club in the city) – at the time this misdemeanour took place,

Now, it is essential to understand the factors which may lead these individuals down a path which involves the use of illicit drugs. So, let's not bore you all with over-hyped, disingenuous sentences, let 's just state the facts:

· A Sydney Hearts Football player was seen using cocaine at a popular (again, underrated) nightspot

· This player, Jayson Towlson, has since medically retired from the team and accepts full responsibility for any hurt and sha me brought to the club because of his actions

· Captain, Andrew Gloss, and teammate Jack Grant were also in attendance, along with some other friends and family, however, did NOT engage in or encourage drug use

· The reasons behind these actions are complex and multifaceted and those involved are not just footballer players but people with feelings.

It seems, as a society, we are guilty of holding professional football players to an incredibly high standard. They're expected to perform at the peak of their physical and mental prowess while maintaining an image of unblemished perfection. However, the reality is that they are susceptible to the same vulnerabilities as anyone else and the relentless pressure to succeed can sometimes push individuals to seek solace in harmful coping mechanisms. Unfortunately, including illegal substances.

We could also be more reasonable here; remove the football title and again remember they are also just young men on their own learning journey. Does this mean we encourage drug or substance abuse – absolutely not – but it would be remiss if we didn't remember we are all human regardless of our profession. Except, most of us do not have people following us around with cameras, waiting, hoping even, for us to screw up.

Luckily, the Hearts have an incredible pastoral system; one which supports its players, their families, friends and supporters. In the messy aftermath of a drug scandal such as this, it is crucial to re -examine this system and appreciate the mental health supports that need to be in place. These are the things we , as a society, are not aware of until the curtain is opened and we are invited into the fold.

So , for those who are not as fortunate as I, let me give you the inside scoop of the Sydney Hearts .

The team is a tight knit unit. They support each other wholeheartedly. They are led by a brilliant cast of coaches, medical personnel, dieticians, agents and fitness coaches. Head of those players is their captain – Andrew Gloss. Tall, unbelievably sexy and – oops, I digress (and am only half-kidding). Seriously though, Andy diligently leads that team despite the censorious garbage which is frequently published about him with absolutely no substance or truth. He rallies his teammates in both the times of success and the times of struggle and he wears it all with his HEART on his sleeve. Also, here is the real scoop, Sydney – listen closely – because he is reading this very public declaration along with the rest of you – I am a woman in love. Yes, I am in love with Andrew Gloss.

I digress though, because importantly , amid this drug debacle, we must all remember that at the end of the day, we only know about this because those involved play football. They do not make our laws or enact governmental policy. They do not conduct surgeries or provide medical advice. They put their bodies on the line, every week, for the entertainment of others. So, let 's make that the focus. Let's talk more about Jay Towlson and why he retired. Let's raise awareness on the horrors of concussion and why THIS should be what we are all discussing.

M y own laugh surprised me as I looked up from the papers spread across my kitchen counter. It was well into the early hours of the morning – but I was wide awake. Not only had my self-pretentiousness stopped me from reading this a week ago, but I could no longer blame anyone other than myself for the ache which sat heavy in my chest every second of the day.

Pup was right. Felicity was right. Even the boys were right and I'd been too stubborn to notice or care.

I let the best thing that had ever happened to me waltz out of my life without giving her an opportunity to explain. And the editorial which she did submit, was fucking magnificent. A testament to the brilliance of her prowess as an author, but also, to her observations and conclusions of our club. And I didn't even give it the time of day.

Fuck .

I was an idiot. A fool. An arrogant selfish prick. And now that I knew the truth behind what could only be described as a colossal fuck up, the anger, frustration and loneliness could exclusively be directed at myself.

Reaching for my phone I saw it was just after two in the morning and knew there was no possibility, after everything I had already done, that I could wake her to – I don't know – apologise, atone, beg, grovel? In seven painfully long days there was so much carnage and destruction which could have been avoided. My own stupidity and inability to see beyond my past hurt and navigate away from the maze of mirrors, which were just a bunch of distorted media constructed lies, destroyed everything we had. Even Mum loved her and despite her initial reluctance, had set aside her own issues with the media to plan a bloody engagement which seemed ridiculous at the time, but significant in the scheme of things. And now she was leaving. Moving interstate because of my lunacy.

The residual notes of realisation and regret permeated the apartment and I knew I had little chance of sleeping.

It was time to quell the martyr act and grow the fuck up which started with owning my mistakes. For so long I had allowed past bitterness to determine my decisions and it had gotten me nowhere. I couldn't keep doing the same thing and expecting different results.

It was time to sort this mess. Sort out my life and perhaps acknowledge that deep-seated anger was not only oppressive, but it had filtered the way I saw the world for long enough. It was time to let it go. To stop letting the past hurt impact any relationships moving forward. Starting with the most important one in my life.