Chapter 25

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

“ H alt, who goes there?”

Ava rode closer to the castle gate and portcullis, knowing the moment she revealed her face from beneath the heavy hood of her cloak, she would be allowed entry. Her nervousness bubbled in her stomach though.

She had managed to sneak out of her father’s castle with Lyla’s help, unnoticed, but if she was seen here, it would only be a matter of time before the servants spread the news between them. It would take one lone rider who happened to be heading to her father’s castle on trade for news to spread.

Nay, I’m nae getting in any other way, and I have tae see him.

“I said, halt!” the guard demanded, brandishing his pike in front of him.

Ava pulled the horse to a stop and lifted her hood from her brow, setting it back further on her head. The heavy snowfall fell on her eyelashes and cheeks as the guard stepped forward, moving so that the light of his lantern fell on her face in the darkness.

“Lady Ava?” he muttered in surprise.

“I am here tae see… Thora,” she whispered. “There isnae a need tae announce me presence. I will find her and speak tae her meself.”

“Aye. As ye wish.” He offered a little bow and then stepped back, pulling up the portcullis so she could ride inside.

Ava dismounted quickly, handing the reins to another guard who stepped forward, his brows knitted together in confusion to see her ride in so late at night without an escort. Ava didn’t answer the silent questions in his face but hastened into the keep.

She walked past more guards in the entrance hall, tiptoeing up the stairs and past lone burning torches set in sconces on the walls. She knew exactly where she was heading, and it was not to see Thora.

When she found Kai’s chamber, she hesitated outside for a minute, pressing her ear to the door and listening intently.

It was possible that a healer was in there with him, keeping a close eye on him. She listened for sounds of anyone but could not hear anything.

Taking hold of the handle, she turned it and stepped into the room.

The moment her gaze fell on him, she gasped.

Kai had been bandaged up much more effectively now. He laid on his front, the bandaged part of his back exposed, his face flush to the pillows. He looked pale, even at this distance across the room, lit slightly by the flames in the fireplace.

Ava closed the door hurriedly behind her and moved to his side, not daring to drag a chair forward in case it disturbed him but sitting on the corner of the bed instead. Her palm rose up the covers, nearer and nearer to him as she itched to touch him. Still unaware of her presence, he slept on, looking more relaxed and less tense than she had seen him in days.

As he inhaled deeply in his sleep, his eyelids flickering, the signs of a dream capturing his mind, Ava gave in to temptation. She raised her hand and placed it softly on his cheek, marking the lines of his face with her fingers, gently.

Such guilt raged in her stomach.

Even though she was now betrothed to Blair Grant, it did not matter to her. It was obvious where her heart was. Who else would she risk riding out in the snow for to meet at this time of night? Who could she not forget? Who made her smile when all else felt lost?

Kai’s head turned toward her in his sleep. His dream must have ended, for his eyelids fell still, then abruptly, they opened.

“Ava?” he whispered, his eyes blinking rapidly as he looked up at her. “Ye’re a dream. Ye have tae be. I’m in Dunvegan.”

“It’s nay dream. I’m here. I… I rode through the night.”

He sat up abruptly, her hand falling from his cheek as he turned to face her completely, nearly knocking her off the bed.

“What?” He gripped her arms, softly and yet with need. His eyes raked over her, so much so that she could see he was trying to prove to himself that she was indeed no dream. She was here.

“It’s me,” she whispered again. “It’s really me.”

“Ye rode through the night?” he said with sudden tension. “Alone?”

“I ken how tae ride a horse, Kai.”

“It’s dangerous in this snow! Why did ye come?”

“Why do ye think?” She moved to her knees, reaching out and gripping his shoulders too. She couldn’t contemplate not holding onto him at this moment. She had ridden all this way to see him, and all she wanted now was to be as close to him as she possibly could be. “I had tae see ye. I couldnae nae see ye.”

“Why?” he demanded, his voice pleading as his gaze searched her face. “Ye are bein’ reckless…”

“I…”

How can I say the words?

They were there on the tip of her tongue, needing to be spoken, but to say it aloud only made the guilt rage worse. Could she truly tell Kai that she was in love with him when she was betrothed to another man?

“Surely ye ken why.” She closed her eyes, the words fading from her.

“I need tae hear it.” He bent toward her.

Somehow, they ended up with their foreheads pressed together, both kneeling and holding onto each other on the bed. Ava was painfully aware now that with Kai facing her, he was shirtless. The toned lines of his chest completely exposed and just inches away from where her fingers gripped to his arms. The thin strip of linen around one shoulder was the only thing that hinted to the bandage on his back.

“Tae say it…” she began, unable to finish the sentence.

“Then I’ll say it.” He pulled back a little, just far enough to look her in the eye. “Because ye have nay idea how much the last few weeks have driven me mad. Ye have been driving me mad for years, Ava, but tae see ye throw yerself at another man? Tae be the one tae teach ye how tae dae it? It has been torment! Torture!” he hissed, his voice impassioned.

Her fingers slid down his shoulders to his biceps, and they both inhaled sharply at that change in touch.

“Ye cannae ken these last few weeks how much I have looked at ye, wishing I was the man ye were trying tae win instead of him.”

She was glad he had not said his name. To mention him now would have felt wrong.

“That’s what ye wanted?” Ava said breathlessly.

He raised one of his hands from her arms. It slid up her neck, in the softest fashion, then cupped her cheek. She leaned into it, wanting that touch firmer, needing his grasp on her to be as full of need as hers was on him.

“I have wanted nay other but ye fer years, Ava.” He confessed, his cheeks pinkening to a healthy color.

A sudden rush of happiness filled Ava’s stomach. How could it be possible? He threw himself at every woman, seduced them all into his bed, yet he did it all whilst wanting her?

“How could ye want me?” she whispered.

“Och, fer God’s sake, can ye nae see when a man is in love with ye!?” his voice cried with passion.

Ava felt the breath stolen from her. Without knowing what to say, she raised her hands up his arms again and gripped his shoulders, pulling him toward her. Their lips crashed together in an instant kiss.

Ava felt herself bent back as Kai’s hands gripped her hips, molding her body to his. His torso was strong against her own body. She was aware of everywhere they touched, the heat of his kiss, the brush of his tongue, how his fingers dug into her hips as her breasts were flattened through her gown onto his chest.

He angled their heads together, deepening the kiss even more. With her breath gone, she would have happily starved herself of air just to keep kissing him, to keep tasting him, as he dominated her mouth. When he pulled back, Ava was trembling with desire for him.

“Kai…” she whispered between gasping breaths. “I…” She should tell him about Blair. Now was the time to say she had agreed to marry another man, but she could not tell him. She couldn’t ruin this moment. Instead, she made her confession. “I love ye.”

The smile that spread across Kai’s face was so sudden, it lit up his features entirely.

He kissed her again, but this time softly. Though he still dominated the kiss, directing her and showing how he could pleasure her with his tongue, everything was slower and more delicate now.

“Dinnae go,” he murmured between kisses. “Dinnae find a guest chamber fer the night.”

“Ye wish me tae…”

“Stay here,” he pleaded, pulling back from the kiss to look her in the eye.

She had no intention of going anywhere now she had found him.

“I’ll stay, just one thing,” she whispered, kissing him across his cheek and down his neck. “Dinnae stop this. Please, Kai. Dinnae stop kissing me or making me yers.”

He hesitated. She saw the worry in his eyes and it made her stomach knot tight.

“I dinnae want tae hurt ye,” he whispered, his words barely audible at all. “The first time… hurts a little.”

“I dinnae care.” She shook her head. “I want tae be with ye, Kai. Please.” Of course, she worried that the moment he touched her intimately, it would it bring old fears to the surface. But she was quite certain it wouldnae.

Nay, nae when I am with Kai.

“Please,” she whispered again.

He bent toward her, his forehead resting on hers.

“Ava, ye realize, if ye and I share this now, I will never be able tae let ye go back. Nae tae him.”

Dinnae say his name.

She barely managed to hold herself back from the words.

“I dinnae want tae go back,” she confessed in a rush. “I want tae stay with ye, Kai. Like this.”

His expression softened to something so intimate that she was sure a heat was consuming her from the inside. It was as if a raging fire had taken control of her whole body.

He kissed her again at these words, sweetly this time, molding their lips together and tipping her head back. As her body tipped with the movement, she ended up flat against the furs with Kai above her. He braced himself on one arm, his bandaged back to the ceiling as he kissed her, his other hand bunching into the skirt of her gown that was still damp from the snowflakes outside.

When he moved his lips to her neck and kissed down, reaching toward her cleavage, Ava became increasingly breathless. She couldn’t bear the thought of him stopping now, not after what he had shown her in the kitchen.

“Kai,” she whispered.

“Mm?” he murmured, his lips trailing across the tops of her breasts, just visible above the gown. He curled a finger around the hem and pulled it back an inch, revealing more of the crest of her breast. With an open mouth, he kissed her skin, making excitement swirl in her stomach.

“Show me… everything.”

Any last nerves she felt, she stuffed down. She knew by now that Kai would never hurt her, and if she asked him to stop, he would. With him, she was safer than she would ever be with any other man.

He growled in the back of his throat as his finger reached for the stays that he had exposed. He pulled sharply on the very top lace, loosening it just enough so that the valley between her breasts was now exposed. He kissed his way down that gap, playfully nipping the inside of one of her breasts.

She arched her back up towards him, shocked and thrilled at the way he could make her body react to him, wanting more of his touch.

“Ye can stop me any time,” he whispered, now reaching for the laces of her gown and pulling them apart too.

“I dinnae want tae stop, Kai.” Her breathy voice made him act faster.

He pulled all of those laces free, tugging on her gown until her shoulders were free. He lifted himself up, dragging it down her body so she was soon exposed in her stays and chemise. The stays didn’t last long. He threw them off, where they landed somewhere on the floor nearby.

When she was only in her chemise, he bunched it high around her hips, his eyes never leaving hers as she arched her back up toward him, wanting to feel his body on hers again. He leaned over her, kissing her, as one hand trailed up the insides of her thigh.

He teased her, his fingers merely dancing along the insides of her legs. Short mewling moans escaped her softly as she parted her legs around his hips, desperate for his touch.

“Kai,” she begged him. “Kai!”

He chuckled into their kiss then parted her lips, delving his tongue deep just as he slid his fingers inside of her.

He reached very deep indeed. It was such a bold and pleasurable feeling that she moaned into their kiss. Her body was wet for him, so when he moved his fingers, achingly so, she brushed her hips against his, desperately needing more.

He lifted up from their kiss just far enough to maintain the connection of their gazes as he pleasured her.

It was an otherworldly feeling to Ava as she stared up at him, feeling completely loved and overwhelmed as he moved his fingers, sliding against every pleasure point that he clearly knew how to find inside of her. She quivered, her hands exploring his chest, her fingers raking over the toned muscle as she reached down to his trews.

He hesitated with his fingers, then as her hand brushed over the hardness there, he widened the two fingers he had inside of her, stretching her body. Her lips parted in a louder moan as she stared up at him.

The intensity of the pleasure had her trembling even more now.

“Kai,” she begged, reaching for the fastening of his trews. “Please.”

He clearly needed no more encouragement. His fingers left her, now reaching for the chemise and pulling it over her head. She had always thought she’d be embarrassed showing her whole body to a man, but she wasn’t with Kai. Somehow, it was the most natural feeling in the world.

The thrill only grew deeper as he pulled down his trews and kicked them off, exposing his length to her. He winced a little as he adjusted himself on the bed. With concern she reached up to his shoulders.

“If ye’re hurting –”

“I have nay wish tae stop now. Ye?”

“Me neither.” She smiled as she looked down.

His length was bigger than she had ever imagined it being. Baffled for a minute as to how he was supposed to fit, she bit her lip but was soon distracted as he moved over her again.

Slowly, he kissed her, their bodies pressing together. His hands were everywhere, caressing her breasts and making excitement spike in her lower stomach. Then his hand trailed down her stomach, to her hip, the fingers teasing in their lightness. As that same hand traveled further south to her thigh, he gripped it a little harder and lifted it high.

His length nudged her entrance as they kissed. A rush of wetness escaped her just as he slid inside of her.

The initial pain made her gasp into the kiss, but Kai halted at once. Not daring to move, he just kissed her, their soft languid kisses so passionate, that any pain passed fast. She was the first to rock her hips up against his, experimentally, making them both moan against one another’s lips.

Then Kai raised himself higher. Driving both hands down into the bed on either side of her, he broke their kiss so they could look at one another as he rocked their bodies together.

Shocked by the sheer pleasure now escalating within her body, making her extremities tingle as he reached deeper inside of her, Ava’s moans grew loud. She had no wish to stop herself though, not when she was aware of the hungry way Kai took in the sight of her.

He began rocking them faster and faster, not once taking his eyes off her. It was so intense, she could feel her body tightening with every movement he made.

She lost track of time, unsure for how long her arms trailed across his body as he pumped into her, sometimes slow, other times fast, making her grip to both him and the furs beneath them. The sweat built up down the center of his chest, beading as his lips fell apart and great guttural moans escaped him.

“Ah, Ava. Ye cannae ken how I have wanted this. How I have wanted ye.”

His words made her moan louder.

“Ye feel incredible. Ah…” He grabbed hold of the furs above her head with one hand, his other taking her ankle and spreading her legs wider for him.

She felt so utterly taken by him, dominated, that she began to wonder why they had never done this before. Why had they spent so much time in conversation and sparring when they could have been doing this?

“Mine,” he groaned possessively, bending down over her.

It was the thing that sent her over the edge. She groaned, her leg shaking in his grasp as he rocked into her a final time. Her whole body tightened around his length as her pleasure reached knew levels. She moaned his name, not bothering to silence them by burying her face in the furs but staring up at him throughout.

He had stilled, growling out his own pleasure, as a warmth filled their connection.

He just…

Ava realized exactly what had happened. They had risked a child, for he had finished inside of her. For all the risk, all that could come of it, all the danger, she didn’t care.

She loved him. To see him overcome by her, even to see him moaning her name now as he bent over her, kissing her madly, she would have risked anything.

“I love ye so much,” he whispered, kissing up her neck and down her body as they stayed connected.

“I love ye too.” She trailed her fingers into his hair, holding on as tight as she possibly could.

“Ye cannae accept his proposal.” Kai moved higher up. “When Laird Grant proposes, Ava, ye cannae say aye. Please,” he begged her.

Tears pricked her eyes. She didn’t want to ruin this perfect moment by acknowledging the truth, yet clearly, her tears were enough to tell him that such a proposal had already been made.

“I love ye,” she whispered again.

She saw his heart break into pieces, but to her relief, he didn’t pull away. Instead, Kai stayed connected with her and pulled her into his arms. The two of them intertwined as Ava’s tears rolled down her cheeks.