Chapter 24

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

“ W e are honestly going ahead with the celebrations?” Ava stood in the doorway of the great hall, dumbstruck. Beside her, Thora seemed in an equally bad mood. Neither of them spared a glance for the pine and holly decorations, nor the mistletoe hanging from the ceilings. They were both much busier staring at the happy faces. “It’s as if a man hasnae been wounded in this castle at all.”

“I ken,” Thora grunted unhappily. “Yet yer faither and Laird Grant were insistent If ye ask me, Laird Grant has some grand plan of what will happen taenight. Something he wishes tae ask ye.”

Ava barely took notice of what Thora said. She turned away from the great hall and crossed the entrance toward the horses which had been prepared outside of the keep door. The physician stood there nervously, uncertain and just as unhappy at the state of affairs as she was.

“Must ye go?” Ava whispered. She didn’t look at the fussing physician who was now making the sign of the cross, in some mad hope that God would keep the rider safe when healing tonics could not. “Kai?”

Kai looked down from the horse. He was stiff in his seat, barely man at all as he did a very good impression of a hunch statue. The night before, the physician had pulled the basilard out of his shoulder then stitched up the wound. Kai had slept all night and half the day before rising and insisting that he go home to recover. The healer had thought it a wise idea to be in a homely environment but had naturally worried about the long journey ahead and what toll this would take on the body.

“Are ye sure about this?” Ava murmured, moving to stand closer to the horse as Thora stepped out of the keep behind her. Dressed in full furs to keep warm in the snow, Thora moved toward her own horse. They had been given three guards to accompany them in their journey that afternoon.

“Aye, I am.” Though Kai barely looked Ava as he spoke, his voice just as wooden as before. “I need tae recover, Ava. I’ll sleep easier in me own bed. Whoever attacked me…” He shifted his head to the side, looking out at the grounds. “I cannae help thinking it was targeted. I dinnae want tae give them another chance tae come after me.”

Ava nodded, though nothing about it felt right. Kai was leaving on his horse and there was a sudden coldness between them. They hadn’t embraced or even touched hands in parting. Was this really supposed to be their goodbye?

“Kai?” she whispered again, laying a hand on the bridle in the hope to get his attention. “Are ye strong enough tae make this journey?”

“I am,” he spoke with disinterested conviction. “Ye should go inside, Ava. Yer faither will want ye there fer the celebrations, and… and Laird Grant will be looking fer ye.”

Her chest ached. Bringing up Laird Grant’s name at that time made her feel quite sick. Didn’t Kai realize that she only wanted to talk about him and not Laird Grant?

“I spent most of the day outside of that physician’s room waiting fer news of ye,” she hissed. “I have paced, I havenae slept, and now I have come tae say goodbye and ye will leave without a proper farewell? Kai, cannae ye see what this is…” She trailed off. How unfair would it be of her to say how this broke her heart, when she was the one so intent on marrying Laird Grant? She was the person who had asked Kai to kiss her yet had always made clear that she intended to marry another.

Kai’s hands shifted from the reins to where her fingers were on the bridle. He caught her palm and lifted it up. Not looking her in the eye, he turned her hand over as he bent toward her and kissed the inside of her wrist. It was a soft butterfly kiss, his lips barely traceable against her skin at all, though it made her heart dance fast in her chest, wishing he would do it again.

“Goodbye tae ye, Ava. I hope…” He sighed, lowering her hand between them. “I hope ye get everything ye are looking for.” Then he kissed her hand again and let it drop. “Let us leave,” he called to the guards.

Ava barely had time to run up to Thora and wish her goodbye too.

“Why all this haste?” Ava whispered to Thora as they clutched hands, Thora’s horse already moving off to follow the others.

“I wish I kenned,” Thora murmured. “Some things I can see, me friend, other things are black as night. All I can see now is that Kai is determined. I shall see ye soon.”

“Safe journey.” Ava bid her friend to take care and look out for Kai, then she let their hands drop between them.

It was a horribly lonesome moment as she stood there in the snowy courtyard, staring at the distant shadowy figures of her friends departing as behind her, she heard the merry music of the pipers who were celebrating Yuletide. Their happy song merely made her sadder still. She swallowed uncomfortably around a lump in her throat, missing Kai, even though he had barely left.

“There ye are,” Laird Grant’s voice called to her.

Ava didn’t turn around to greet him, though she heard his footsteps racing toward her. He looped an arm around her waist, so possessively that Ava had to force herself not to shrug it off. It was different when Kai was possessive. She felt safe with him, so for him to take her in his arms was the most natural thing in this world. For Laird Grant to do the same was very wrong indeed. She was as stiff as ice in his arms as he turned her toward the keep and led her into the great hall.

“Ye are being missed at yer faither’s own feast. Come, see how many happy faces there are this evening. Yer family and friends are all gathered tae celebrate this Yuletide. Even yer sister is smiling for us this evening.”

As Ava stepped into the great hall with him, she sought out her sister. It was true that Lyla was indeed smiling as she talked with friends and sipped wine freely. Something in the sight was heartwarming, making the ache in her chest for missing Kai all the worse.

Aye, I want Kai back, but what purpose would that serve?

Her mind ran so fast, thoughts came and went like a galloping horse. Even if she rode after Kai and told him that she was completely infatuated with him, that her heart was his if he wanted it, what then? Kai had never spoken of wanting to get married. He was a rake. She knew his reputation. He was just as likely to kiss her and thank her for her kind words, then continue on his journey home, making plain the fact that marriage was completely off the table.

No, if she had hope of keeping Lyla smiling, of keeping her safe from the man that pursued her so desperately, then Ava had to marry a man who would offer marriage. She had to show interest in Laird Grant.

Turning to face him, she looped their arms together, though she couldn’t quite summon a smile as hard as she tried.

“It is a lovely celebration, aye.”

“Aye, and everyone who matters tae ye is here.” Laird Grant’s words made her bristle as they walked through the great hall, though she tried not to show it on her face. “Now, come, I have a surprise fer ye.”

As the music halted at a command he made with his hand, she was sure that he was about to begin the complicated dance they had rehearsed together so arduously. Distracted, she compared the feeling of Laird Grant’s and Kai’s hands on her. It was no surprise whose hands she would have rather felt, but he was no longer here.

Pointlessly, she looked around, as if Kai would appear between the people and come to dance with her instead.

“If ye’d all listen and pause in yer merriment, I have an announcement tae make, a question tae ask, and I cannae think of a better moment tae make it than here in front of ye all, and before a man I respect so much.” Laird Grant’s words captured everyone’s attention as he bowed toward her father sitting at the top table above a platform.

The way Finley was smiling in the most ridiculous ways hinted to Ava what was about to happen even more so than Laird Grant’s words had done.

Wait… Thora thought Laird Grant was going to ask me a question. Is this really the moment he’s going tae choose tae dae it? In front of everyone?

Every soul was listening. Tankard and cups of spiced claret had been lowered, as eyes fixed on the pair of them.

“Now, Lady Ava.” Laird Grant turned to face her and adopted a smile that was easy and charming, though it had one flaw in Ava’s eye.

It isnae Kai’s smile.

“Since I met ye, ye have stunned me with yer fire, yer kindness, yer demureness–”

At his words, Ava breathed in sharply. She was certainly not demure, not in her heart. Had all her acting and attempt at seduction persuaded him to believe she was something she was not? “Nae tae mention yer skill with a blade.” He winked at her good-naturedly, prompting many to chuckle in the room. “That is why I can think of nay other lady I’d rather spend me life with.”

Ava’s mouth turned dry as her breathing quickened. Was this not everything she had been working towards for so many weeks now? Was this not the way to save Lyla from a terrible future?

“Would ye dae me the honor, Ava,” he paused, reaching into a pocket of his tunic and pulling out a golden band, studded with rubies. The ring swung from a golden chain that he presented toward her. “Of being me wife.”

Finley stood from his chair and toasted the air as if she had already said yes in his eagerness. So much so that Lyla caught his arm and prevented him from saying anything just yet.

An overwhelming disgust and horror overtook Ava as she stared up at Laird Grant. This was not the man she wanted to marry. This was not the man she wanted meeting her at the altar. It was certainly not the man she wanted to give her body to, to be explored by as Kai had explored her that night in the kitchen, to be kissed by him, to be held by him when she had nightmares…

Yet I have nay choice.

“Aye.” She nodded hurriedly. “Aye, I will marry ye.”

A cheer erupted from the crowds. The pipes played loudly as Finley toasted the air once again.

“And now, a gift fer ye.” Laird Grant leaned toward her as he flicked his fingers. From behind him, one of his maids scurred forward, presenting a silken green cloth that was embroidered in gold thread. “It is the finest I could buy. Expensive, but I will only have the best fer me bride tae be.”

“Oh. Thank ye,” Ava said, forcing a big smile. “That is most kind.” Yet as she took the fabric in her hands, she felt how impersonal it was.

She had never been one for fine fabrics, or elaborate gifts. Clearly having thought he’d bought her affection, Laird Grant turned away, leaving her standing in the middle of all the dancers, quite alone and holding onto the expensive fabric.

What have I done?

Kicking the door shut behind her, Ava ran into her chamber, tripping on the edge of the fine material she was still clutching in her hands. Quite horrified by its presence, she threw it down on the nearest chair, in danger of knocking over a nearby candle as she flung herself away from it.

“What have I done?” she whispered aloud, falling back onto the bed. “Ow!” There was something hard under her head. Whipping around to kneel on the bed, she felt between the blankets for what she had knocked her head against.

There resting on the blanket was the scabbard decorated with stars that she had seen in the market. It was perfectly sized for one of her knives, and it would slot easily into her weapons belt. She picked up the heavy scabbard, feeling something crinkle inside. Delving in her fingers, she found a piece of parchment she slid out. On the parchment was Kai’s scribbled handwriting.

‘Fer ye. I would buy ye any gift in the world if it would make ye smile, Ava, but I ken ye dinnae want riches or fine things. Ye want something useful tae ye, something that makes ye feel safe. Ken this too. If I could spend every night of our lives in a kitchen we have crept off tae together, I would, but I ken that isnae a possibility. I’ll always be here fer ye though, if ye want me, even if I can never quite have ye as I wish I could. With love, always, K.’

Tears welled up in Ava’s eyes as she stared at the words. They were so heartfelt, so full of love, so full of devotion, that Ava was reliving the pain of watching Kai ride away all over again. Only this time, it was with the knowledge that she had just agreed to bind herself to another man forever.

“Ava? Ava, are ye in there?” Lyla knocked on the door. When Ava could do nothing in reply but gasp between her tears, Lyla opened the door. “Dear God, what has happened?” Lyla ran in.

Unable to utter a word, Ava proffered up the parchment, praying it would help to explain everything. Lyla sat on the bed, her complexion turning milky in shock.

“Ava, what are ye going tae dae? Ye have just agreed tae marry Laird Grant. In front of so many people too! What are ye going are ye going tae dae now?”

“I…” She tried to compose herself and stuff down the temptation to cry anymore tears. “I need tae see him.”

“Laird Grant?”

“Nay, nay. I need tae sneak out of the castle, Lyla. Tonight. I need tae see Kai.”