Chapter 16

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

JJ

Gently, I kissed his lips, happy when he opened his tired eyes. His fingers tenderly rubbed up and down my arm as I snuggled into him, my head on his chest. We were silent for a while before he spoke.

"Sorry to wake you."

He shook his head lazily. "I'm glad you did. What happened with Four and Aziza today?"

I closed my eyes briefly and took a deep, soothing breath. "It was awful, Shep. He's been through so much, and either he can't process his life, or this is all he knows, so it's accepted."

Shep squeezed me a little tighter. "We've seen the horrors humanity inflicts on one another, JJ. It shouldn't surprise us, but it sounds like it did. Want to tell me about it?"

I didn't. I really didn't want to relive the day that had ended with Aziza feeling she needed to sedate Four just so he'd get some sleep.

"Okay."

I started with how she'd gotten Four to actually talk. Shep wasn't shocked as he'd noticed Four's attachment for me growing daily. Then I got into the whole thing.

"At what age is your first memory, and what was it?"

"I was very small, no age, screaming. A lot of screaming."

I fell onto the couch, my legs feeling like they were kicked out from under me just by that one sentence.

Aziza, didn't spare me a glance, her focus solely on Four. "Can you tell me about that memory?"

Four's voice was monotone, devoid of any emotion as he recounted this piece of time in his life.

"I sat on the floor in a kitchen. I remember smelling something sweet. There were a few other people like me on the floor too. But there was a boy on the table. I couldn't see from where I sat, but he was being whipped."

Jesus fucking Christ.

"Were all these people on the floor and the boy on the table the same age?" Aziza asked questions as if she were unaffected, but I imagined she'd heard so much and learned how to control her emotions well.

"Some. Others a little older…some younger."

I was going to throw up. I didn't dare move.

"Tell me another memory?" Aziza was jotting notes on her pad, but they were quick.

His eyes fluttered as if he were flipping through papers in his mind, searching. "I would get cookies when I completed a job. Sometimes a cupcake. Those are my favorite times."

That also explained his love for sweets. I wanted to ask a question, but Aziza beat me to it.

"Were you allowed to talk when you had the sweets?" She smiled, a tactic I'd seen used in the past. Showing one emotion, hoping it was mirrored back. But he didn't smile…never smiled.

"Yes. Only if the job was done right and we were sitting at the table with our reward were we allowed to speak. But what we said had to be worth hearing."

Fuck all of these guys.

Aziza sighed, and I knew the next thing out of her mouth was going to suck.

"What happened if you didn't do the job right or failed?"

"We were punished."

Aziza met my eyes briefly. "Like the boy on the table?"

He nodded. "That happened a lot, but the punishments were decided based on the error."

"Can you explain it to me?" Aziza's voice was soft, caring.

"Whipping was one they did most. This was if you didn't follow the rules as they were laid out. Even if the job was done correctly. It had to be done according to plan. If you failed the task completely, you were whipped and put in isolation for a week at the mercy of the Disciplinarian."

I swallowed the bile threatening to come up. How was Aziza just sitting there and able to form sentences?

"Did any of you ever disappear?"

Four's cheek twitched. "Sometimes."

There were so many questions that Aziza had on her list to ask, but Four's mental health was paramount to her, and she said she'd not rush it. Noticing Four was in need of a break from the heavy questions, she diverted.

"How are you sleeping here?"

"In a bed. It's nice."

"A great mattress is vital." She chuckled. "How many hours would you say you sleep?"

"I don't really. Just rest. Need to be ready."

Ready for what? I was dying to ask, but Aziza shook her head at me.

"How can you be ready if you don't sleep?"

Four furrowed his brows. "I am trained not to sleep. I can go days."

Well, that wasn't at all concerning.

"Sleep is important for your health. Are you finding it hard to fall asleep here?"

"It's quiet here. Peaceful."

"You like this place?"

"Yes. It's been nice."

I just watched silently while Aziza did her best to maybe not break down the walls, but peek in through little fractures in the structure.

"I think JJ likes having you around." Aziza smiled.

"JJ…he's nice to me."

My heart…yep, that was warmth radiating from my chest.

"You know you're safe here," she said. "Do you feel safe?"

"For now…it won't last."

"Why is that?"

He looked at her, and for the first time he met her eyes. "They'll find me. I can't be forgotten; I must be dealt with."

I wanted to stand up and scream, "Not on my watch." But I stayed planted on the couch, stewing in my anger.

"I think these guys are going to do everything in their power to keep you safe and make sure you're taken care of. Do you feel you can trust them?"

"They will try. I see that. They will fail."

His belief in the power of the Alabastrine Consortium was unwavering. I wasn't sure we could take them on, but I did know I couldn't, and wouldn't, abandon Four to be tossed into that world ever again. We'd fight because that was the promise we made.

"That's a lot." Shep sighed.

"She was able to get him to agree to let her give him something to sleep. I checked on him throughout the evening, and he was out cold."

"Is she coming back?"

" Mmhmm ." I lifted my chin, resting it on his chest. "She told us that he needed a lot of help. That people who are born in this kind of world never truly escape it. Listening to Four today, we all realized his earliest memory is of this place when he was little."

"Was he kidnapped? Any ideas?" Shep ran his fingers through my hair, and a wave of exhaustion hit.

"We don't know. Aziza said she will continue to work with him and get what she can at a pace that benefits his recovery."

"Let's sleep now, baby." He smiled, and I leaned up to give him a quick peck on the lips.

"Night, Shep. I love you."

He hummed. "And I love you."