Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

“Is this right?” Lilith turned the computer toward Cass. Her friend had asked her to input some data into a program she’d created, and once it was done, it would create points on a map when Lilith entered the key combination Cass had written down.

“Yep. See? Didn’t I say you’d be helpful?”

Lilith smiled, a sense of pride filling her over a simple task of entering numbers in. Anyone could do it, but she’d done it. “Thanks. What does this show you?”

It meant little to Lilith, but it must have made sense to Cass.

“It tells me the hot spots around LA where women, teenagers, and men have gone missing. I’m hoping to discover a pattern for a case the guys are working on with Julian.”

Lilith turned back to the screen, the red dots seeming more sinister than they had a few seconds ago. “That’s a lot of places and people.”

“Yeah, human trafficking is a beast. No matter how much control you think you have, it’s actually nothing.”

“Or they’ve been sucked into a cult,” Lilith mused quietly, noting the red dots around one of the restaurants she’d worked at. It had been at her job where she’d seen the flyer about the “new job,” which was just another way to suck desperate people in. She’d been at the compound for about a week when she’d recognized one of the men as someone who’d frequented the restaurant. She’d even served him a couple of times. Of course, she hadn’t been able to go up to him to yell at him because, well, she’d wanted to live, and was smart enough to recognize it wouldn’t end well for her.

“Why do you say that?”

Lilith quickly relayed what had happened to her, Cass’s eyes filling with sympathy. As much as Lilith hated seeing it, it would be a while before no one looked at her with the emotion showing in their eyes.

“This is good information,” Cass said when she’d finished. “It gives us something to look for or make the people working on the various taskforces aware of. Not only could it be a way to lure people into places like The Hopeful Sunshine, but also tempt people into thinking life would be better if they went to a certain place, which is a meeting point for the traffickers. Thanks, Lilith.”

Warmth flowed through Lilith at the compliment. “Glad I could help.”

A soft tap at the door had her turning, and her heart did a little kick of excitement to see Julian standing there, a small smile on his face. “Hey,” he said. “Can I steal Lilith and take her to lunch?”

The excitement went from a flicker to a full-on blast of happiness. Something she never thought she’d feel around this man, but the person standing in front of her differed from the one she’d known. “I’d like that,” she answered without thinking.

“Great. There’s a park down the road from the building. We can grab some food and then sit there, if you’d like.”

The very idea of sitting out in the fresh air, surrounded by greenery, appealed to Lilith. “Sounds perfect.” She glanced over at Cass, who wore a huge smile. “Is it okay for me to leave? You don’t need me to do anything else, do you?”

The automatic questions came from years of servitude and being unable to choose freely without consequences. “You don’t have to ask for permission. You don’t work here, although I think your life experience might be helpful, but that’s a conversation for later. Go. Enjoy.”

Cass turned back to her computer, clearly indicating that she’d said all she’d needed to say on the subject.

Lilith opened the drawer where Cass had told her to stash her purse and stood, straightening the dress, still not used to the sensation of wearing something soft and flattering. “Shall we go?”

Julian crooked his elbow in an old-fashioned, gentlemanly pose. “We shall.”

Lilith hooked her arm through his, and together they left the Alliez offices. In a flash, they were striding outside into the sunshine. As if he knew exactly what she needed, Julian paused just outside and let her stand in the sun. The warm rays soaked into her flesh. It was so different to stand in the sun and appreciate the heat it generated, rather than it scorching her back through her thin dress as she worked in the garden.

The sound of traffic and buzz of conversation reminded Lilith that she was far away from The Hopeful Sunshine, and she could do what she wanted. Eat what she wanted. Drink what she wanted. All when she wanted. The freedom was heady, and she grabbed it and held it tight. This was a feeling she never wanted to give up. “I will not get sucked in again,” she whispered.

“No, you won’t.”

Of course Julian heard her whispered vow. It didn’t embarrass her that he knew what she’d said. “This time is going to be different.”

And she had a feeling the man next to her was part of the reason she believed things wouldn’t be like they had been the last time she’d been granted her freedom. But she didn’t want to think about that now. She wanted to savor the moment. “Where shall we get food?”

The popular sandwich shop she’d eaten from in the past was just down the road. A couple of other cafes were around as well. She didn’t know if they did takeout , but she assumed they would, considering the office buildings surrounding them.

“There’s a great little café just down that way.” Julian pointed to his left. “They do tasty pasta, salad, soup, and sandwiches. Not to mention, they also make the best brownies I’ve ever had.”

Lilith’s stomach grumbled at the mention of the variety of dishes. “Lead the way.”

Their arms were still entwined, and Lilith had to admit she enjoyed the touch. Or maybe she just enjoyed Julian’s touch. Whatever, she was pleased she didn’t want to run as far away as possible when someone touched her.

The walk to the café didn’t take long, and Julian had been right. There was so much to choose from that she had a hard time working out what she wanted. In the end, she settled for a salad with chicken and a brownie. Julian carried the bag as they walked toward the park. She couldn’t wait until they got there. She’d take her shoes off and curl her toes in the grass first thing. Some people might think that she was weird, but she didn’t care. Nothing was quite like soaking up and connecting with nature.

“Oh, it’s beautiful,” Lilith breathed out the second she saw the expansive green space. The branches of the large trees provided plenty of shade. In the far-right corner was a playground, where some young children squealed in happiness as their parents pushed them on the swings.

There were hedges, which had small white flowers. The scent teased her nostrils, but she couldn’t place what it was.

“Jasmine,” Julian supplied. “That’s what you're smelling,” he finished, when she looked up at him quizzically.

“It’s strong.”

“It is, but I like it. The flowers don’t last long though. A couple of weeks after the bushes bloom, the flowers are gone, and there’s nothing left but the greenery.”

“You sound sad about that,” she said, as she sat on the bench he’d steered them to, all thoughts of sinking her toes into the grass forgotten as she wanted to know more about why the short flower life seemed to upset him.

“It’s so fleeting. I love the scent, and just wish it lasted a little longer.”

Lilith took her salad from him, thinking over his words. Were his thoughts about the plant the same as life? That it was fleeting and could get snatched away when least expected?

Had he seen a lot of death in his job with the FBI? Did he only work on ridding the country of cults? Surely there weren’t that many in the world? When they’d raided The Hopeful Sunshine, there didn’t seem to be any casualties. Had no one been running at them with weapons? She didn’t think Staunton believed in guns, but she could’ve been wrong.

Or did he do more with his job? Was he involved in more violent raids? Had he had to kill someone? Could she ask him?

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

“Do you see a lot of death in your job with the FBI?” Her question was a combination of the things she’d wanted to ask him.

Julian placed his BLT on the paper it had been wrapped in. “My job is more in locating and advising, and then going in after everyone has been cleared out. I observe, but I don’t get involved with the agents and other teams when they do their thing.”

“Do you want to be more involved? Do you want to be part of those teams that go in and deal with the scum who run things?”

Julian gazed off into the distance, and she wished she could see his face. Catalogue what he was thinking and feeling. With him turned away from her, it was like he was rejecting her a bit. Lilith quickly tamped down that thought because if he didn’t want to tell her anything, he would’ve changed the subject when she’d asked her first question about his job. But he’d answered, and that meant he would likely answer her other question. She just needed to give him time.

He did turn back, and his eyes were bleak. She longed to reach out and hug him. Assure him that everything was okay. The strength of her desires didn’t shock her. In fact, it felt natural, this need to comfort him.

“Every time we go to a place like The Hopeful Sunshine, I’m reminded of what I didn’t do. What I turned my back on. What I let happened to you. To Rose. To every woman and child in Freedom and Love. The guilt is constant, but there’s also a sense of satisfaction that I’ve been part of a group that’s stopping them from harming more innocent people.” He wrapped up his half-eaten sandwich, as though he needed to do something with his hands. “But that’s not all I do. The taskforce I’m part of also works to stop the ever-increasing sex trafficking trade. The horrors the teams see . . . I don’t know how they do it. How they can be so stoic and not let what happens on these raids affect them.”

“How do you know it doesn’t? I don’t think anyone could be that cold. That what they saw didn’t affect them in a small way.”

While she may not have been used in the way some women were used at both Freedom and Love and The Hopeful Sunshine, it wasn’t hard to imagine the horrors that the people who’d been held against their will by sex traffickers had gone through. The damage to their souls would be irrecoverable. And the trauma would be just as terrible for rescue teams.

“You’re right. My comment was thoughtless. The FBI have people the agents can talk to if needed.”

“Does Alliez?”

Julian pursed his lips. “I’m not sure. But Ox knows the guys really well. If he saw that one of them was struggling, he’d do what was necessary to help them.”

“That’s good.”

Lilith fiddled with her the lid of her salad. Their conversation had gotten heavy and serious, but she was glad because it had shown her a different side to Julian. One that she hadn’t expected. There was more to him now than the man she’d known all those years ago. The one who’d treated her like dirt. The one who believed he was God’s greatest gift to women.

“Thank you for bringing me here. It’s nice to get out into the sunshine again,” she said quietly once the silence had dragged on between them.

“You really prefer being outside, don’t you?”

Lilith closed her eyes and tilted her head toward the sun. She slipped her shoes off and sunk her toes into the grass under where they sat, relishing the feeling of freedom washing over her. “I do.”

“Then we’ll find you a job working outside. I’m sure I can get you a couple of leads.”

Lilith’s eyes snapped open, fire building in her belly at his statement. “I can find my own job, thank you. I don’t need help.”

Julian held his hands up in surrender. “Hey, sorry. I know you can. I was just trying to help. I wasn’t taking control. I promise.”

A sigh rippled through her. She’d overreacted to his simple offer. When would things change for her? “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped at you. I know you’re not trying to control what I do, it’s just … I’ve spent the last year being told what I can and can’t do. It’s going to take me time to comprehend that when someone says something, it’s not because they’re trying to take over. They’re just trying to help.”

Julian smiled softly. His hand moved but stopped from touching her, and part of her wished he would. Or that she had the courage to touch him. “I get it, I do. How about this? If you need help finding a job, all you have to do is ask, and I’ll do what I can to make it happen.”

“Thank you.”

And taking a leap of faith, Lilith placed her hand on his.