Chapter 5

5

E yela

The Night Before Graduation

It was risky, but I needed to see Cocaine. I wasn’t sure if he’d heard about the marriage or not. If he hadn’t, I wanted to be the one to tell him. Daddy thought I was resting before my big day, but I’d snuck out to meet Cocaine. I’d only gone to our body of water, which was why I was able to leave without guards. The lake was about half a mile from our home, only able to be accessed by walking a trail that was blocked by an electric gate. Daddy also had dogs and guards around every corner of our land, so even when his people weren’t physically present, Mommy and I still felt safe.

He’d go crazy if he knew I told Cocaine where we lived, but it was either this or meeting him somewhere else. While I waited for Cocaine to arrive, I paced a hole in the concrete trail. I had no idea how he was going to react to the news of me getting married to another man. Even though we both knew this was a possibility, it was different now that it was actually going to happen. I should have stayed away from him to avoid putting myself in this predicament of having another man holding my heart so close to my wedding day.

When I turned and saw a shadowy figure heading in my direction, my heart skipped a beat. Cocaine was devastatingly handsome in a rugged way. I couldn’t recall a time I’d ever seen him in a suit. It was always jeans or sweats. Now was no different. He was dressed in dark sweats, a T-shirt, and sneakers. A low snapback was pulled down over his forehead.

“Hi.” I spoke, smiling as he immediately took me into his arms.

Cocaine’s lips covered mine. It was a gesture that used to feel like second nature. Tonight, knowing I’d soon be marrying another man, it felt like cheating.

“What’s up, Lala? Your message sounded urgent. You good?”

“In a manner of speaking, yes. I need to tell you something.” Inhaling a deep breath, I took his hands into mine. Though I was sure no one had followed me, I still looked behind us to make sure no one else was around.

“What’s wrong, bae?”

“Have you or your father talked to my daddy?”

His head shook. “No. Why?”

“He made his decision about the marriage.”

“Since I haven’t heard from him yet, I’m assuming he didn’t choose me.”

“No, he didn’t. He’ll probably tell you after my graduation.”

Cocaine sighed and released my hands. “How you feel?”

Shrugging, I squeezed the back of my neck. “Scared. Honored. I know this is my duty to my family, and it’s what I’ve been prepared for, but that doesn’t make me excited or happy about it. Plus, I was hoping he would choose you.”

“I was too. It seemed like he was on board with our families joining the last time we talked. I wonder what happened.”

I knew why he’d chosen the Lowe family. For some reason, sharing that information didn’t feel right. Now that Cocaine and I weren’t going to be together, I needed to put boundaries between us.

“Well I just… I wanted to be the one to tell you. I’m sorry. I hate this is the end of us.”

“Does it really have to be?”

My brain temporarily short circuited. “Are you suggesting I cheat on my husband with you?”

Cocaine chuckled as he wrapped his arms around me. “You calling that mane your husband already? Who is he?” Gritting my teeth, I remained silent. “You loyal to him already?” I wasn’t sure why, but between his question and tone, that didn’t sound like a question I needed to answer.

I tried to remove myself from his grip, but Cocaine held me tighter. “Coke…”

“If you gon’ leave me for him, at least leave me with something to remember you by.”

“I-I don’t have anything to give you. I didn’t even bring my phone out.”

His smile widened. “What I want is right here.”

When he cupped my pussy, I yelped. “D-Donovan… you know I’m a virgin. I can’t have sex with you.”

“You can, and I know you want to.” He picked me up and carried me to the bench that was just a few feet away from us. “Your daddy might not have felt I was good enough for your family, but I know you know I’m good enough for this pussy.”

“Cocaine, please.” I didn’t want to tell him I didn’t find his aggression attractive at all or that it was actually scaring me, so I tried to reason with him. “Baby, you know I have to be a virgin on my wedding night. If I’m not, that will bring dishonor to my family. Is that what you want me to be known for?”

“I don’t care about none of that shit.” And he proved it when he ripped my panties under my gown and forcefully stuck two fingers inside of me. The action caught me so off guard I was more in shock than pain. Still, I cried out, causing him to cover my mouth with the palm of his hand.

“Cocaine, no! I don’t want this!” Ignoring me, he used his knees to hold my legs down and held my arms over my head by pinning my wrists. “Please, Donovan. Not like this. Are you really going to rape me?” His movements stilled, as if he finally realized what he was doing. “Are you going to rape me?” I repeated, since it seemed like that was the only thing that had the power to make him stop. That question. That truth.

“You don’t want me?”

“Not l-like this. You’re scaring me.”

He stood, and the moment there was enough space between us for me to get away, I ran. I ran, and I didn’t look back. My tears continued to pour, and I covered my mouth to lessen the vocal sobs. This certainly wasn’t how I saw the night ending. I’d never felt so unsafe with a person in my life, and for that person to have been Cocaine, I was heartbroken. Worse, I wouldn’t be able to tell my father. Not only would he be disappointed in me for dating Cocaine secretly, but he’d kill him. There was no doubt in my mind about it.