Chapter 4

4

K arrington

It was my last day in Massie Manor. For the last six years, I bounced between Memphis and Massie Manor to help out on the family ranch. With me taking over for Pops, I’d no longer be able to make the weekly trip to the ranch. I would still keep my job as an art professor at the University of Memphis and my other legal businesses, but I would be less hands on with them all.

We’d gotten the contract in place for my marriage with Eyela Mitchell. I didn’t want to marry her, but I was going to do what I had to do. The crew had come to Massie Manor to help me pack my things and enjoy a night at the dive bar that I’d grown to enjoy relaxing in over the years. I really wanted to be alone, but they weren’t having that. I appreciated that they were present but not placing a priority on talking about my father or how I was feeling.

We drank, and I was able to slip into the shadows while they talked. As Merc shared a story about Merci, I found myself frozen as I stared down into my empty glass. I felt like I was straddling the line between tipsy and drunk and one more drink would take me over the edge. I trusted them to get me home safely, so I side stepped to the bar and asked for another round of brown liquor for the table. As I headed back, I bumped into a man who was lining up his pool shot.

Even though it was my bad, I didn’t bother apologizing. I wasn’t in the mood. I wanted him to pick a fight so I could take my frustration out on him and beat his ass. The whole time he followed me to the table, he talked shit. All I could do was chuckle. Even in my inebriated state, it would be nothing for me to lay him out. The crew knew that, which was why Asylum and Bully held me back while Beethoven and Merc tried to calm the man down.

I was cool until he called us niggas, but with that er. That was it. I broke my way through them and attacked him. Long after he blacked out, I still punched him. It took all four of them to drag me off him and out of the bar. While Asylum took care of the tab, the rest of them held me against the car. Bully and Beethoven sat next to me in the back seat to avoid me trying to go back inside.

Fighting him didn’t make me feel better. It only made me feel worse. It made me want more blood, and that scared me. At one point, I was able to control my emotions and not use force unless I absolutely had to. Now, I itched to hurt. To kill. To take my frustration out on anybody that even looked at me wrong. Tonight, I wasn’t violent to protect someone I loved and cared about. Tonight, I was violent because it felt good. The city would catch hell until I found out who was responsible for my father’s death, and that was the scariest truth of all.

After the Funeral

“I’ma get baby on home,” Bully said, sitting next to me. “Is there anything you need, brother? Anything at all?”

I needed to know who killed my father. Since I couldn’t have that, I shook my head.

“If that changes, call us,” Aspen added.

He might not have been in the crew for long, but he was a solid dude. Him and his brother Dejvi . Aspen seemed to care about me and my art, and I appreciated his hope in something I’d let die. He’d even gone as far as to set up a meeting with Neko for me, and while I attended and it went well, I couldn’t risk anyone finding out his art firm had a mafia boss as a client.

“I will. I appreciate y’all. For real.”

I shook both of their hands and they left, leaving Asylum, Merc, and Beethoven behind. It didn’t matter how much I told them I wanted to be alone today—they were there. They didn’t talk to me, but they didn’t let anyone else either. I appreciated that. The only person that had been able to get close to me was Ma, and I needed that barrier. Even with me being in the headspace I was in, I was present enough to appreciate my brothers and what they were doing for me.

I felt like a zombie as I walked to the bar in my parents’ home. It was a fully stocked bar with a bartender and all. Pops didn’t have a lot of people he was close to, so he’d made his mansion a space he could fully entertain and enjoy the company of his brothers and small crew.

Drinking had never been an escape for me. I used to indulge for special occasions or when the crew got together. Since Pops died, it was what I’d been doing to numb myself. Last night was proof of that. Attacking that man, so ferociously, was something I would not have done if I wasn’t drinking. I could blame it on the grief and anger, but the truth was, that moment was a glimpse of the version of myself I’d been too afraid to release.

In my two decades of training to become the most lethal enforcer, hitman, and protector, my father kept a leash on me. He’d instilled certain principles in me that kept me focused on being sure I never used excessive force, that I didn’t initiate fights or shootouts, and that I never handled business publicly unless absolutely necessary. All of that went out the window last night, and I didn’t feel as bad as I thought I would going against everything he and his men had taught me. Last night I wasn’t a protector; I was a hurting fighter looking for a target. As good as the release felt, I couldn’t let it happen again.

Asylum made his way over to me about an hour after Bully and Aspen left. He sat down and looked at his open palms. If anyone understood the loss of a parent, it was him, but at least I’d been blessed to have my father for thirty-five years.

“Shiloh’s getting a little restless and tired of his mama and sister.” That made me smile. Shiloh had become his father’s shadow. They were always together. He was spoiling the little man, and after waiting over twelve years to be reunited with the woman of his dreams, I didn’t blame Asylum. Shiloh was literally his and Dauterive’s love in human form. He was a physical reminder of what could happen if you took a second chance.

“I would bring him in here but—”

“Nah…” My head shook before I took another sip. Weed and cigar smoke clung in the air of the bar. It was certainly no place for a baby. “Go ahead and take the family home, brother. I appreciate you.”

“You sure you gon’ be good? I can take them home and put him down then come back.”

I patted his shoulder. “Nah, I’ll be good.”

I didn’t want to remind him, any of them, that there was nothing they could do for me. Men took pride in being useful. I wouldn’t take that from them.

“Aight, brother. Call me if you need me.”

Merc and Beethoven weren’t going to be as easy to get rid of. Beethoven’s wife and son had already headed back to Rose Valley Hills, but he was on some where you go, I go, type shit. Regardless of if I spent the night here or at home, Toe was going to be there. Merc was the same way.

Neo had already left with the kids, and he was posted up staring at me as if he was waiting for me to want to go and get into some shit. All I could do was chuckle as I finished the last of my whisky. Merc, Aspen, and Blaze, Aspen’s best friend, were the ones that had been on nothing but rah-rah shit with me since Pops died. It might not have been the healthiest way to grieve, but they didn’t judge me for it, and I appreciated that.

“You got a minute?” Loki asked. He was my right hand man and a close friend. He was the one I spent the most time with because of our places in the business. The one I could talk to about this lifestyle. Loki got the highs and lows of the mafia.

“Wassup?” I stood, and we slowly began to walk out of the bar.

“The guy in MM from last night… He’s not doing good, Boss. The police have been swarming his hospital room.”

“Is he talking?”

“He can’t. He’s still unconscious. You did damage, brother.” Our feet stopped moving and we turned to the side to face each other. “He had a brain bleed. They put him in a coma to see if the swelling would go down. If it doesn’t, he might be brain dead. If so, and they find out who was responsible, you’ll be looking at attempted murder. Murder if and when his people pull that plug.”

That’s what I loved about Loki. He was the kind of man who looked at all possibilities to help me prepare. I was thinking about making him my consigliere, but I hadn’t made up my mind yet. There was only one other person I would give that honor to, and that was Asylum, but with his family, I didn’t want to bring him into the fold.

“Pay someone on the staff, preferably his doctor or nurse to ensure we are the first to know when he wakes up. Sweep the bar if it hasn’t been done already. Whatever it costs to make this go away—”

“That’s already been taken care of. Your boys looked out for you last night. Bully paid for the security footage. They made sure no one there last night saw what happened, even if they did see what happened.” I nodded as we began to walk again. “I’ll reach out to the men I have sitting on the hospital and keep you updated on that.”

“Aight. ’Preciate you.”

We shook hands before going our separate ways. Since I was up, I decided to check on Ma. It surprised me to find her in the sitting room whispering with Luna Ray. The family that was here on her behalf were scattered all across the house, leaving me to believe what she was talking to Luna Ray about was something she didn’t want anyone else to know about.

I was surprised to see Luna Ray here. Even with her going to the funeral, I wasn’t expecting her to come back to the house. She’d made it clear that she didn’t want anything to do with me or my family, and after what happened, I finally believed she’d made the right choice.

“…I’m worried,” I heard Ma say. “He’s not processing it. I need to know he’s going to be okay when I leave tomorrow. I need to know he’s going to have someone looking out for him.”

“Mrs. Lowe, I—”

“I don’t need a babysitter,” I said, causing them both to jump and turn toward me.

Ma released a nervous laugh as she stepped forward and grasped my arms. “I wasn’t suggesting you did, but I’m worried about you, baby. I leave in the morning, and I need to know someone is looking out for you.”

As her hand cupped my cheek, I made clear, “It’s not going to be her.”

“Then who? Because between you getting in public bar fights and—”

“Who told you about that?”

“Did you forget how small of a town Massie Manor is? Those people may have agreed not to tell the police you attacked that man, but they definitely have made you the center of their small town gossip.” Sighing, I lowered her hand from my face and took a step back. “You are the boss of all bosses, Karrington. You cannot allow your grief and anger to bring you out of yourself. You don’t get your hands dirty. What the hell were you thinking?”

“I was thinking he called me and my brothers niggas and deserved exactly what the fuck he got.”

My eyes shifted to Luna Ray. I didn’t want her to hear this conversation, but it was clear she didn’t plan on leaving. She avoided my eyes and nibbled her bottom lip.

“I don’t care what he said. You are not the enforcer anymore. You are the boss. Now I don’t know who you’re putting in place to be your replacement, but you need to do that soon. What happened last night can’t happen again.”

“Yes, ma’am,” was all I said, because she was right.

I didn’t know who I was going to make my enforcer either. I had the opportunity to completely restructure the mafia if I wanted to or keep my father’s men in place. It would have been easier to make the changes I wanted to make with my own men in place, so that was what I was leaning toward. I knew how important it was to my uncles that they and my cousins remain in positions of power, but I wasn’t willing to keep the family in charge just because they were family if there were better options.

“Do you need a ride home?” I asked Luna Ray.

Her eyes rolled briefly before she grabbed my hand and led me upstairs to the room I occupied when I was here. A part of me was impressed that she remembered how to get through the maze of their ten thousand square feet home. In the room, I immediately made my way to the wall table that had a silver tray on it. Pouring myself three fingers of whisky, I looked back at her and asked, “Do you want something to drink?”

She shook her head. I felt the warmth of her body and inhaled her honey apple scent, but neither prepared me to feel her arms wrap around me from behind.

“Lun—”

“Drinking isn’t going to stop the pain, Kare Bear. You need to let it out.”

My body went slack as I set the glass down. I turned in her arms, fully prepared to push her away, but she held me tighter.

“Luna Ray…”

Resting her chin on my chest, she looked up at me. When I could no longer take the intensity of her gaze, I squeezed my eyes shut. She held me tighter, running her hands up and down my back. I still hadn’t cried, but in that moment, in her arms, the tears came. And when they finally did come, they wouldn’t stop.

She led me over to the bed and began to undress me. With nothing but my boxers on, she ushered me into the bed and climbed in with me. I wasn’t sure how long we lay there—with her holding me, caressing me, comforting me—but by the time the tears stopped, I felt empty.

“I know this is a lot,” she said quietly. “Losing your father and having to take his place. Stepping into shoes that you probably weren’t expecting to have to wear so soon. But you can handle this, Karrington. Just… stay tapped into your needs. Take care of yourself, or you won’t be any good for anyone else.”

“Thank you.” I kissed the top of her head, finally feeling like my heart was slowly returning to normal. It wasn’t beating as hard and rapidly as it had been since the shooting. Didn’t seem so heavy and full.

Luna Ray looked up at me. She caressed my cheek. I caressed her back. Her fingers grazed my lips. My fingers gripped her ass. She tilted her head upward. I lowered mine. Tangling my fingers in her hair, I exhaled against her lips. As long as I’d been waiting for this moment, I couldn’t kiss her. Not while she was still married to him.

“I’m gonna have a car take you home.” I kissed her forehead. “Thank you for being here, but you should really go.”

I watched her as she climbed out of bed and straightened her dress and hair. Sitting up, I told myself to get up and do something, but the emotional release left me exhausted. It felt like I hadn’t slept since the shooting, and my body was finally about to shut down on me.

Luna Ray walked around the bed to get to my side. Her small hand wrapped around my neck, and she used it to pull me forward. After kissing my forehead, she rested hers against mine.

“I know things didn’t end well between us, but I’m here if you need me.”

Gripping her hands, I kissed them both. “While I appreciate the offer, more than you will ever know, it’s best if we don’t see each other again. You need to stay away from me, Luna Ray. What happened to my father is proof.”

Pulling away, she looked into my eyes. Her brows wrinkled and lips parted, but no words immediately came out.

“I know you’re right but—”

“No buts. I needed this, needed you. I haven’t… Ma was right. I needed this release. But you need to stay away from me. Not just because I want to keep you safe physically, but I don’t want to be the reason you do anything to jeopardize your marriage. You’re not a cheater, Luna Ray, and neither am I. We got caught up in the moment but…”

“It can’t happen again.” Her head bobbed. “You’re right. I just… It felt like old times, and I wanted to be here for you. I would have felt horrible if we kissed. Thank you for having restraint.”

She pulled her hands out of mine. “I know you’re saying this is it, but if you ever need me, I’m here. I won’t ever accept…” She snapped her mouth shut. “But you… you’ll always have a place in my heart. I’ll be here for you with no questions asked.”

Standing, I pulled her into my arms and held her for what felt like forever before calling Loki and telling him to pull a car around for her. Luna Ray turned the lights out as she left, and within seconds, I was asleep.