Chapter Twelve

I hum as I toss the salad for dinner. Reaching into the bowl, I pull out a piece of lettuce and pop it into my mouth. I smile when it hits my taste buds. Perfect. The homemade salad dressing has the right balance between fat, acid, and salt.

Life has gotten better. As far as I can tell, I've been here for a few months now, but ever since I told Kado how I was feeling and expressed my needs to him, things have changed. I'm eating what I need, I have things to keep me busy. I no longer feel like a shell of a person.

In the morning, I wake up and have breakfast with Kado. When he has to go to work and I can't go with him, I watch TV, read, or try a new hobby. I've done puzzles and diamond art. I've picked up a paintbrush, tried my hand at knitting, and even made one of those big chunky knit blankets.

When he gets home in the evening, we eat together before sitting down and watching whatever looks good. Most of the time, my head ends up in his lap as he plays with my hair, giving me the attention and affection I desperately crave. Kado doesn't seem to mind and smiles every time I lay my head down. In all honesty, I don't know who enjoys it more, him or me.

It's almost perfect.

The door opens, and I can't help but smile.

He's home. Finally.

"Hey, dinner's ready. Wash up while I grab it out of the oven," I call over my shoulder.

He walks into the kitchen and smiles at me as he heads to the sink to do as I told him to. I grab the lasagna out of the oven and take it over to the table, setting it down in the middle. While I grab the salad, he fills up two glasses of water. Together, we head back to the table that I've already set and sit down.

"How was your day?" I ask as I place some food on my plate.

Kado shoots me a thumbs-up before taking as much food as he wants. I duck my head and smile. Finding out he liked Italian food was a welcome surprise, considering it's one of my favorites. He always seems to enjoy what I make, going back for seconds and sometimes even thirds. Then again, I guess it is a big improvement from the cheap stuff he kept on hand and takeout. Still, a feeling of pride always runs through me when he thanks me when we're done eating.

He's turned me into Susie Homemaker, and I'm not mad about it.

I thought I would miss working more, but now that I have a way to occupy my time, I realize I never enjoyed the stress of it.

Still, I feel like something is missing. Like I need more of a purpose.

I guess that's why I keep swapping hobbies. I need to find something to inspire me.

Kado points at me, getting my attention.

"What did I do today?" I ask, knowing what he wants to know.

He nods as he takes a bite of the still-steaming hot food.

"You're going to burn your tongue," I warn him.

He shrugs like he doesn't care. Crazy man.

"I finished that cross stitch." I crinkle my nose as I shake my head. "While it wasn't hard, I don't think it's my favorite. It was cool for a minute but then quickly got boring. I'm trying to decide what to do next."

He tilts his head to the side as he eats, letting me know that he's still engaged in what I'm saying.

"I think I'm going to try my hand at candle making. I love candles, and it doesn't seem that hard, but I don't know. I thought about throwing clay, but that could be messy."

He shrugs as if saying so what .

"I don't want to make a mess in the apartment. I think I've made a big enough one as it is," I tell him as I take a bite.

Kado raises a brow like he thinks I'm crazy.

"Honestly, I should probably get rid of some of these projects before I try anything else."

Kado's eyes narrow as he aggressively shakes his head no, making me frown.

"I can't get rid of the ones I don't like? Why not?"

He pats his chest.

"I don't understand."

He pulls out his phone, and I wait to see what he has to say.

Because they are mine.

My heart beats faster at his claim. "Are you saying the stuff I made is yours?"

He nods his head once as he points across the room. I look over and see that he's pointing at a painting I abandoned earlier this week. I thought it would be easy but quickly realized I was so far out of my depth, it wasn't even funny.

"You want to keep that?" I ask in disbelief.

He smiles at me, silently telling me that I'm finally starting to get it.

"Are you crazy? That thing is ugly. If we're being completely honest, it looks atrocious. It's so bad that I think even a preschooler could do better. It definitely belongs in the trash."

He types something out before showing me.

Not trash. It's mine.

I shake my head and smile. "You're ridiculous."

A wave of love and gratitude runs through me. Is this what it feels like when someone cares about you so much they put your ugly artwork on display? Kado's acting like a proud parent who puts their children's artwork on the fridge, only we aren't kids, and we sure as hell aren't related.

I suck in a breath as it hits me.

I like him. I really, really like him.

Kado reaches out and touches my hand. He's frowning so hard that he has a line between his eyebrows that I want to reach out and run my thumb over to smooth out. Would that be weird? He pushes his phone closer to me, and I look down and read the screen.

Are you okay?

"Yeah, I think for the first time in a long time I am," I tell him quietly.

Kado smiles so big that it makes my heart race. Yeah, I'm really good.

I've always looked forward to going to work, but tonight, annoyance courses through me. I would rather stay at home with Lucy than go sit on a stakeout. Over the last couple of weeks, the evenings have become ours, and I hate when work pulls me away from her and our time together.

"Are you okay?" Lucy asks, pulling me out of my thoughts as I dry my hands, the dishes now complete.

I shake my head, because I'm not.

"What's wrong? Did something happen today?"

I hang the towel back on the oven handle and pull out my phone.

I have to go back to work.

My schedule has changed significantly because of her. I used to operate mostly at night, but with her wanting to keep a normal schedule, I've adapted.

This job won't allow for it, though. It has to be done tonight.

Lucy's face falls as she reads my message, making my gut clench. I hate disappointing her.

"Do you think I could come with you?" she asks with a hint of hopefulness in her voice.

Tilting my head, I think about it. Usually I would say no, my work is much too violent for her to witness again, but tonight is different. There is no danger in a stakeout, or there shouldn't be. Would it really be that bad if she went with me? What harm could it do? I would get to do two of my favorite things at once: spend time with her and work.

I nod, giving her my approval. Yes, I want her to come with me.

She gasps as her hand rests on her chest. "Wait, really?"

Quickly, I warn her.

It might be boring .

"I don't care, I'll be with you. Let me go get my shoes," she says as she dashes out of the kitchen.

My heart races as her words fully hit me. She wants to be with me. That must mean she likes spending time with me, right? Is this what Kai and Kenji mean by it's easy to please their women?

"Ready," she says as she rushes back into the room.

I can't help but smile when I see that she's changed her clothes. In the few minutes she was gone, she changed into an all-black outfit.

"Do I look okay? I thought black would look better than a bright pink shirt."

I can't help but watch as she runs her hands over her hips. I would like to do that, touch her like that, I mean.

"Kado?"

I nod and step toward her. With my hand on her lower back, I usher her out the door and down to my car. The drive across town takes a little longer than I planned thanks to traffic, but I don't mind. It pleases me to watch Lucy bop around in her seat to the songs on the radio.

Finally, we arrive at our location. I park three houses down, under the streetlight I disabled earlier.

"Oh, are we here? Which house are we watching?"

I smile at the excitement in her voice and point to the house in question.

Lucy looks over at me and bites her lip. I want to reach out and pull it free from her teeth, but I won't.

"Can I ask you a question?"

I tilt my head, letting her know I'm listening.

"Why are we watching this house? What did they do?"

I purse my lips as I think about how to answer her question. Do I just tell her that they are bad men, or do I tell her the truth? Do I tell her that we believe they have ties to sex trafficking? I would rather be honest with her than omit the truth.

I pull my phone out of my pocket and start typing.

There have been some missing girls who all have ties to this house.

Before I can even finish typing, she is reading over my shoulder and gasps. "Do they kill them or something?"

We think they sell them.

I look over to gauge her reaction. She's glaring at the house that the man resides in.

"Do we really have to sit here and hope we see something? Or can we do something else…like blow the place up?"

I let out a silent laugh as I shake my head and type.

We can't blow anything up today. If they are guilty, we need them to talk before we kill them.

"Well, that blows," she mumbles as she settles into her seat. "Let's talk about something else."

Nodding, I set my phone in the cupholder as I turn back to watch the house.

"Have you ever had a girlfriend?" she asks, making me freeze.

Will she judge me because I haven't?

"By your reaction I'm taking that as a no. That's okay." She pauses as she reaches over and touches my hand. "Is it weird that it kind of makes me happy that you haven't?"

I turn my hand over under hers and draw a question mark on her palm.

"Why does it make me happy?"

I nod.

"I don't know how to explain it, but I like that no one else has had you the way that I do. Not that you're mine, of course. You're your own person and belong to yourself. You can't own a person," she rambles.

With my free hand, I point to myself and then her.

I'm yours, I tell her, hoping she understands.

She smiles and ducks her head. We fall silent as I look back at the house. The lights are on and the living room blinds are open, but no one is in view.

"So if you've never had a girlfriend, does that mean you've never been kissed?" she asks after a few minutes.

I swiftly jerk my head no.

"Are you asexual or something? Like, do you have no desire to kiss or be intimate with someone?"

I remove my hand from under hers, making her frown until she sees I'm reaching for my phone. I point to her and then the house.

"You want me to watch the house while you type?"

I smile before looking down at my phone.

I don't know what I am, but I've thought about it. I don't understand relationships and how they work. I only know what I've seen from my friends, and they make it seem nice. Hesitantly, I add, I do like the idea of kissing you, though.

I look back up at the house as I hand her my phone, my heart racing as she reads what I said.

She sucks in a breath, making my stomach clench.

Lucy leans over and cups my face, making me look at her. "You want me to kiss you, Kado?"

My eyes drop to her lips, and I nod. I really want to feel her lips on mine. Is it as nice as I think it would be?

She leans forward and rests her forehead on mine. "Can I kiss you?"

I shut my eyes and rub my nose along hers, silently telling her yes.

Her lips brush over mine, making my heart race. I never knew kissing would feel like this. I don't know who, but one of us leans further into the kiss. She opens her lips just a little and traps my bottom lip between hers like I've seen in the movies she makes me watch. All too soon, she pulls away, making me frown. I want to pull her face back into mine and keep kissing her.

"Did you like that?"

I jerk my head yes. Like doesn't even begin to cover how much I liked it.

Lucy smiles and leans in and kisses me quickly before pulling away once again.

"We better watch the house, we don't want to miss anything."

I sigh, shaking my head. What did I do wrong? Did she not like it? Was it not as good for her as it was for me?

"Kado?"

I look over at her and see that she's smiling.

"For the record, you can kiss me anytime you want." She winks.

I replay her words in my head and smile. I can kiss her anytime I want.