Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

CAULDER

Everything in my body seizes up when Lo's mouth touches mine. I freeze, eyes wide, lips barely parted as his press against mine.

Ohmigod. OHMIGOD!

When I don't respond, Lo backs up. Not a lot, but there's a breath of space between us now. I suck in a shaky breath as my head spins. I don't want him to stop kissing me. I just don't want him to kiss me, either. He'll see through all the lies if he kisses me.

His fingers gently feather across my cheek and a phantom breeze has me swaying forward so our mouths touch again. This time, Lo truly kisses me. It's not just our mouths touching. Resting against each other.

This time, his lips mold to mine. Move against mine. His fingers become a little bolder, advancing from feather-soft to gentle as they trail my jaw toward my hairline.

I think I'm mostly rigid at first. Unsure what to do. I can't do this and yet… I don't stop it. I don't want to stop it. My mind wars back and forth, which I know is making me truly suck at this. Lo is doing all the work right now.

Pulling away an inch, I take a deep breath, hold it in my lungs until they burn, and let it out.

"Caulder—"

Before he can finish whatever he's about to say, I kiss him for real. For real , for real. Which makes Lo bolder, and his hand finally moves to the back of my head and grips me tightly. Angling my face how he wants me.

I try to keep up. Try to mimic what he's doing. Does he know I don't know how to do this? Does he think I'm a bad kisser? I must be doing okay, since he doesn't stop kissing me.

Lo coaxes me down onto the bed so we're laying on our sides facing each other, mouths never parting. His hand on the back of my head trades out with the one now under my head as he keeps me right how he wants me.

His other goes back to tracing my jaw. Then the length of my neck and down to the hollow between my collarbones. I shiver under his touch. His fingers leave behind a trail of tingles and gooseflesh.

He moves closer, shrinking the distance between our bodies. The way his hand moves on me feels almost lethargic. Hypnotic. Relaxing. It trails back up my neck until he hooks my chin with his thumb and gently pulls my mouth open wider.

And that's when he really begins to kiss me. With tongue and teeth. Wet and sloppy. I can taste his toothpaste and the barest hint of alcohol. Or is that all from me?

When my arm brushes his chest, I realize I'm gripping the sheets between us tightly as he leans in closer. Stealing my breath and my will to do anything but kiss him. Does he know he's teaching me? That I'm fighting to concentrate on his mouth while his hand along my neck is distracting me?

Our kisses feel almost lazy and sluggish. Like we're just kissing. Just tasting each other. His fingers on me feel the same. He doesn't move past my collarbone as he traces over every part of me that he can above that point—my cheekbones, my eyelids, the shape of my nose, my eyebrows, the shape of my eyes, every single inch of my neck. Into my hair and around my ears.

It's intoxicating. I feel like he's somehow drugging me. Making me both hyper aware of and numb to his touch. It's like I can feel his hand in multiple places and yet, I'm not quite so aware of his hand on me either.

Everything changes when Lo alters something about his kiss. I'm not sure what it is, except the angle of my head somehow moves and I feel his kiss throughout my body. I moan.

My moan makes his kiss more heated, and I spend a few seconds trying to figure out how it's changed. It's not like he's kissing me much differently. But somehow, it feels different. It feels sexy now. Hot. My blood is beginning to burn.

My dick, once feeling forgotten, is now very aware of how close we are. Of his hand on me. Images of his mouth around my dick, sucking my head like he is my tongue, make me moan again. My cock grows in my underwear, and I try to shift my body away a little so he doesn't feel it.

Inappropriate!

Although, is there a more appropriate time to get hard than when you're in bed with someone? Kissing them. Both almost entirely naked.

His finger moves down my arm, along the length of my forearm and to my fingers gripping the sheets with white knuckles. I'm not sure what he's doing at first until I realize he wants me to let go. But I'm not sure if I want to. My grip is keeping me grounded. Anchored. If I let go, I might just lose my mind.

But I let go when he continues to rub my fingers. Maybe he's trying to soothe me. That's kind of what it feels like. Trying to make me comfortable during this moment.

Once I release the sheet, his hand presses against mine. His fingers twine between mine slowly and I don't know why, but that feels so fucking erotic. I can't put it into words, but I somehow feel the action inside me. I groan, long and low. My hips rocks on their own and I think I brush my dick against him. Which makes me whimper.

The sensation of something touching my cock is too much. I'm throbbing now. With need. Desperation. Though I try like fuck to hold still, I rock again and this time I know I brush him. There's no mistaking it.

Lo lets go of my hand, but before I can grip the bed again, he presses it to his stomach. His muscles twitch under my touch. With his hand over mine, he slides them up his skin until my palm rests over his racing heart.

His hand rests there for a minute, keeping mine right where he wants it, before he traces back up my arm again and around to my back. Along my ribs, my waist, until he can grip my hip. He pulls me closer. Closer. Until we're just barely not pressed together.

My hand pressed between us against his heart keeps us slightly apart. But his body heat is fucking hot. A furnace. With every struggled breath, our dicks brush through our underwear.

Everything in me wants to let go and enjoy this man. Obviously, he wants me. Even though it's clear I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing. Maybe I have the hang of kissing, but it's hard to concentrate on that when we're so close. When he's touching me.

My dick aches and I can't keep my hand where it is anymore. I slide it down between us, ignoring the way it brushes his erection, and grab mine in a hard fist. I moan pathetically.

Lo's mouth comes off mine and I suck in a breath, keeping my eyes squeezed shut so I don't have to look at him. Is he disgusted?

"You okay?" he murmurs. His voice has been nothing but sexy since I first heard him speak, but right now with it deep and scratchy and filled with heat, it makes my cock leak.

I nod.

"Can I touch you?"

A shudder runs through me as I bite my lip. "You already are," I whisper after a minute.

He huffs quietly, taking my bottom lip between his teeth and biting gently. A pulse of arousal shoots down to my balls and I groan. Probably loudly. Which makes my cheeks heat.

"Your dick, Caulder. Can I touch your dick?" he clarifies.

Oh god I want him to. Before I can stop myself, I'm nodding.

"You can tell me to stop at any time," he promises quietly.

I nod again. His mouth returns to mine, though our kisses aren't nearly as urgent and heated as they were. It's as if he's allowing me the opportunity to speak if I need to. But all I can do is focus on where his hand has landed over mine where it squeezes my dick tightly.

As he had with my hand on the bed, he gently and patiently eases my hold and removes my hand. His replaces it. Without his mouth over mine swallowing the sounds I make, they're loud in my head. Loud in the room. They're embarrassing. He's barely touching me. Not even my skin.

"Can I move these?" he asks quietly, tugging gently at the elastic of my underwear.

I nod.

Lo pulls at them a little, just enough so they're down around my ass cheeks and under my balls, exposing me to him. I can't open my eyes. They're squeezed so tightly closed there are stars dancing.

I jerk when the backs of his fingers trail slowly along my length. Ring my cockhead. Press to the slit in my crown. He traces a vein all the way to my root before cupping my balls and gently tugging on them.

If you ask me, the sounds I'm making are rabid. They're sick and depraved and I need them to stop. But he feels so good touching me that I can't.

After further exploration that feels like a week has gone by, his hand circles me and he gives me one long stroke along my shaft. My hips jerk into his hand. Fuck, I need to come.

"Can I put my mouth on you?" Lo asks.

"Oh god," I whimper, nodding wildly.

He chuckles. "You're really sexy, Caulder. You know that?"

My cheeks heat.

His mouth presses to mine again before he starts moving down my body. There's something wild about it. When I don't have the solid form of his body pressed to mine, his heat seeping into me, his hand firmly on the back of my head, I feel like I'm going to burst apart.

Slowly, his mouth moves along my torso as he drops between my legs. I'm leaking by the time he reaches my crown. Keeping me on my side, Lo brings my top leg over his head, hooking the back of my knee over his shoulder. His hand moves below that leg, arm curling over it as he toys with my cock by just moving barely, touching my dick with with the tips of his fingers.

The whines and whimpers don't stop as I grip the bed again in anticipation. I need him to suck me. He's right there. His face is pressed against my groin.

I look down just as he looks up and our eyes meet in the low light from the television. He smiles and fucking hockey sticks, it's so goddamn hot. Seeing him between my legs, the crown of my dick against his lips, his pretty light eyes that I can only barely see by the glow of the television staring up at me.

We're still watching each other when he takes my dick in his mouth. My mouth is already open as I try to breathe, but it opens wider. Shocked at the heat. The wetness. The way his teeth gently touch me as he closes around me, keeping me pressed tightly in his mouth.

Holy.

Fuck.

He doesn't shift for a minute, just moves his tongue around my cock. The muscles of his mouth flex, making me jerk and shudder. When he goes deeper, I moan loudly. Then he pulls back, popping off, making me grunt.

Over and over, Lo takes me into his mouth, using himself like a toy to fuck. In and out, in and out. The squelch is indecent. The way I'm shivering uncontrollably as my orgasm builds higher and higher makes me feel like I'm going to come apart.

I haven't caught my breath since he started kissing me. Even as I struggle to breathe now, I can't take a deep one. It's like, every time I try, he swallows me down and I choke on air.

His hand around my leg tightens in time with the way my hips rock on their own. I can't control them. The other hand is rubbing my ass cheek. Toying with my crack, but not spreading my cheeks. Just touching. Tracing the shape of me.

I'm not sure what he does differently but the seal to my orgasm is coming loose. I grip the bed as I stare at him. Wanting to witness the magic he's creating.

His eyes flicker up to mine and I swear I can feel him smile right before he hunkers down, taking most of my dick in his mouth, and begins to suck in earnest. I cry out, my hand leaving the bed and tangling in his hair. Without thought, I curl myself around his head, my hips trying to move wildly as my eyes roll in my head.

How he does it, I'll never know. It feels like he never takes a breath. Just one continuous suction as he pulls the breath from my lungs, and my life from my body. I jerk and jolt and try to warn him I'm going to lose my load.

I try. I'm not sure the sounds I make are words, never mind English. I might have just taught myself Latin as I finally fall over the edge. I grip him tightly, shuddering as I spill into his mouth. There's a short disruption then as he adjusts to accommodate my release.

And swallows it. I can feel the contraction of his throat around the very tip of my dick. Fuck. My hips thrust forward, wanting to feel it again, but he starts sucking once more and I think he's trying to suck my balls dry.

I come. Sticky streams keep coming. When's the last time I got myself off? Clearly it's been a while.

When I finally fall limp, gasping, Lo releases me. He hums in appreciation. His tongue darts out to capture the last few drops as my dick begins to soften against his mouth.

For a minute, we don't move. I'm floating in the afterglow of the best orgasm I'd experienced in my life. Just a while longer. I can stay in this moment a while longer.

A door in the hall shuts and my eyes snap open. I remember where I am. Who I'm with. What just happened. White hot panic burns through me and I stiffen. Oh fuck. He's going to know. I mean, of course he's going to know! He just sucked my dick!

My breathing gets ragged and I begin to shake. What am I going to do? He can't know! No one is supposed to know. Tears sting my eyes, so I close them. Fuck, fuck, fuck.