Chapter 18

CHAPTER 18

LO

I'm exhausted but I really don't care. We were up all night. All. Night. I'm not even sorry. There are no regrets in that decision. We dozed for maybe an hour this morning, far too drained from constant fooling around to remain completely lucid.

We eventually got up and showered, struggled through one more orgasm each, and admitted that we'd reached our sexy limit for now. Though we say ‘for now,' we know that the shower was the last one. Neither of our flights are early, for which I'm grateful because it means a prolonged morning together.

Now we're packed up except the clothes we're going to put on right before we need to check out. Going downstairs rumpled like we'd been making out would only bring questions, so we're naked on the bed, wrapped around each other and soaking in the warmth while we can.

I never realized how very touch starved I am until these moments. Though truth be told, I've never wrapped around someone for so long as I have with Caulder. I've been lazily wondering about it this morning between our slow kisses and periodic quiet conversation.

Is it because Caulder is a lot like me in his situation? We share a very important common interest, so it affords us a certain level of safety with each other that we wouldn't find elsewhere.

Maybe it's this weekend specifically. Lots of alone time. Lots of sexy time. I'm very clearly touch starved, which I think I already half knew about myself, but I've never allowed myself a weekend like this. Staying with someone for too long prolongs their exposure to me, and the odds of them recognizing me increases.

That's not an issue with Caulder. I've never gone into a situation where my hookup already knows who I am. Caulder's right; there's a lot of freedom in that.

Or is it just because it's Caulder?

I'm very attuned to the fact that this man is just… heaven. I wouldn't say I'm a spiritual man. As far as theology is concerned, I believe in a higher being. Whether there's just a single god or multiple, I don't truly know. But I believe there's something out there. And I believe in heaven and hell.

It becomes clearer by the second that my version of heaven is this. This weekend. This kind of easy rapport. This comfort.

This man.

It's good that we're going our separate ways. I don't think I can survive a Romeo Caulder snores," I say, rolling my eyes.

He laughs.

Once again, we part ways as we head to different gates. There's another brief exchange of goodbyes. I pull up my boarding pass on my phone and refuse to use it for anything else until I'm seated.

When I open the messenger app, my stomach jumps.

Caulder Haines

So do I. Like, next weekend. Talk to you soon, Lo.

He ends it with a little kiss emoji. I close the app, unable to keep my smile off my fucking face.