26

Elizabeth and Jane did not speak much, and not at all of what had passed between them in the last year. The circumstances demanded that they nonetheless achieve an unspoken truce, and in truth, Elizabeth felt some compassion for her sister. She had expected Jane to be visibly with child, but she was not, and Elizabeth somehow knew that the answer to her unspoken question would not be a pleasant one.

They spoke only of what was passing, when the situation required it, and Elizabeth found she could be comfortable enough in exchanging encouraging smiles, occasionally embracing or holding hands during difficult moments. It was a tentative start toward a reconciliation.

The Bingleys departed directly after Mr. Bennet’s funeral. Mr. Gardiner spent most of the next three days attending to matters of estate business, before returning to town with his family. The Collinses were not expected until after Kitty delivered her baby and recovered from the birth, and Sir William Lucas called at Longbourn to offer his services in the interim.

A somber calm settled over Longbourn. They saw nobody but the Lucases and the Phillipses, who were regular callers to the house in mourning. The ladies of both families, as well as Olly, were present one morning when Mrs. Bennet received news of the birth of her first grandson. Thomas Francis Collins had been born early, but his parents and doting aunt Lydia all assured their relations that the boy was as robust as he was beloved.

Elizabeth feared some outburst when her mother read of the Collins’ imminent arrival a month from the day, but Mrs. Bennet was pure elation. “Robust,” she cried, waving the letter about. There were passages from Kitty, Mr. Collins, and Lydia, and all were full of adoration for the babe. Tears glistened in Mrs. Bennet’s eyes as she repeated the praise.

“A full head of dark hair, very like his Papa in that regard, but blue eyes like Kitty, the same almond shape, they all agree – sure to be handsome, Lydia says – all smiles for his Mamma – cooing and gurgling! Lydia says he is so very pink, but of course all babies are. And so small! Not unusually so, of course, but endearingly so – utterly darling! Mr. Collins says he regards them all with a look of profound intelligence. What a clever master of Longbourn he shall make someday! And we are all saved forever!”

Elizabeth was not the least bit ashamed of her mother’s effusions, for once. They all deserved this joy, which sustained the visit for longer than was proper – but old friends need not mind such a formality.

Mrs. Bennet’s raptures lasted above an hour, and then the chatter turned in another direction. Mrs. Phillips could not resist her penchant for gossip, and she produced the morning’s newspaper, displaying the tattle sheet. “Lady Lucas, were you not quite in raptures over that handsome friend of Olly’s? I think you told me he paid your daughters such civilities.”

Olly screwed up his face. “Not Captain Darcy!” His gaze, and that of everyone else in the room briefly landed on Elizabeth.

“No,” Mrs. Phillips cried. “The other one – he came to an assembly about a year ago, when we first met Mr. Bingley! And then he visited again when Olly purchased Netherfield. I thought you had some hopes for him for Maria.”

“Oh yes – dear Captain Drake! I hope he will visit again soon,” Lady Lucas replied.

Olly stared intently at the rug, his pale face taut and still. At his side, Elizabeth slipped her hand into his.

“It says here he is to be married next month to a Scottish heiress!” Mrs. Phillips pointed to the announcement and passed the paper to Lady Lucas.

She read it over with a sad shrug, and then her countenance altered. “Oh dear – but look at this. We were just speaking of Captain Darcy… and he is also soon to be wed to a wealthy cousin.”

Elizabeth’s head snapped up and Lady Lucas’s face suddenly registered the pain she had just inflicted. She gave a sad, apologetic smile, and passed the paper to Elizabeth.

She read the announcement twice, three times, and even a fourth reading of it could not make sense to her, though it was right there before her. Everyone was staring expectantly at her – how did they all know?

She began to shake. Olly leaned across her to read the announcement, using this as an excuse to wrap one arm around her shoulders. When he felt her trembling, he looked over at Elizabeth, and then took the paper and threw it onto a side table, rising to his feet in the same fluid motion. He took Elizabeth’s hand in his and slowly helped her to her feet, guiding her gently by the shoulder as he led them away.

“Lizzy promised to show me the view of Netherfield from the garden, for I wish to see how the new trees we planted along the front drive appear from a distance,” he said, giving a nodded bow to the ladies before ushering Elizabeth from the room even as it began to spin in her vision.

As soon as they were out of the house, Elizabeth began to heave and pant. She could not breathe. She paced this way and that, flailing her hands about, nothing before her seeming quite in focus. Misery of the acutest kind assaulted her like a taloned beast, shredding her apart with its claws.

Olly allowed her a few minutes of sheer panic before attempting to still her. He placed his hands on her shoulders and spoke firmly. “Elizabeth, look at me. Look into my eyes and breathe. In and out, steady breaths, there you go. Watch my eyes, breathe when I breathe, nice and easy, there.”

For a minute they just breathed together, and when she had ceased her gasping Elizabeth gave a little nod and he withdrew his hands.

Elizabeth rocked on her heels, wondering when the tears would begin to flow. Her face was hot, her chest was twisting into knots. But she remembered to breathe. “He is going to marry her after all, that odious creature. She must have done something, managed to coerce him in some scheme – or – oh God, have I been a fool all this time? But of course the master of Pemberley must marry Lady Amelia Fitzwilliam. I am nobody, and he has forgotten me.”

The tears finally came. Olly drew her into his embrace, just as he had done the previous week when she had wept over the man she loved, who was now utterly unattainable. Perhaps he always had been.

Olly held her close, slowly stroking her hair as he murmured comforting words into her ear, and Elizabeth melted into him as she was lost to her feelings. She wanted to remain thus, but she also wished to take to her bed, weeping and shrieking as her mother might do. She wished to curl up in bed and sob, and yet still be held like this, warm and safe and strangely whole.

At this sudden realisation, Elizabeth gasped and drew back just enough to rest her hands on either side of his face. “I want to marry you.”

His face lit with joy that wavered with uncertainty. “This is hardly the time to make such a decision, Lizzy. It would not be right of me to allow it.”

She smiled at him – she actually smiled, at such a moment! “You are a dear man. But I… I wish to try something.” Before he could respond, Elizabeth stood up on her toes, and slowly moved her face toward his, which she still cupped in her ungloved hands. He went rigid, but did not stop her from pressing her mouth against his. After a moment’s hesitation, he kissed her back, and as his arms brought her back toward him, she could sense that he liked it. She liked it.

He broke away and released her, and though she did not agonize over the loss of his lips on hers, as she had with Mr. Darcy, she found herself pleased with her little experiment. Olly read her expression and rolled his eyes, a half-smile slowly forming. “You would compromise me? Oh dear.”

She laughed and shook her head. “And now you are honour bound to me, as I have been to you since giving Papa my word I would accept you.”

His eyebrows shot up. “Did you really?”

“He told me you asked his permission, which I thought was rather sweet.” Elizabeth took him by the hand and gave a glance that indicated she wished to walk.

“Sweet? I thought it rather cheeky of me to do it while you slept a few feet away. But is it gallant of me to do so, and to take you on even though I know you to snore.”

“Are we to share a bed, then?” The jape spilled out before Elizabeth could think of what she was saying, and her face flushed with warmth, but she did not look away.

Olly grinned. “You do not snore as loudly as I am told I can, and someone must kick me until I roll onto my left side.”

“I have years of practice in kicking you.”

“A qualification any bride should have.”

Elizabeth grinned. “So you… accept my acceptance?”

“If you are certain, then yes. But I had thought that when you were ready, we might discuss the particulars first.”

“Oh,” Elizabeth said. She frowned, wondering what caveat might accompany his offer.

“Do not worry, Elizabeth. What I mean is that I wish to reassure you that it will be an agreeable situation. But as you say you are willing to wed, I should like to know what you imagine that may be like.”

She blinked. “I do not know. I daresay it will be a happier marriage than my parents, from all that I have seen. Papa spoke very favourably of the match. He said that we will be easy in one another’s company, and that we might grow old in perfect contentment. I think he was quite right in that regard.”

“And does sharing a bed with me factor into this contentment?”

Again Elizabeth blushed furiously, but summoned the courage to answer him frankly. “If you are comfortable with it, I find I quite like the way you hold me. To lie in bed, in such an embrace, seems pleasant and appealing.”

Olly nodded slowly. “I see. And would it be appealing to give Netherfield an heir?”

“I might ask you the same,” she said at once.

“Yes.” He stared intently at her before continuing, “Lizzy, I… I have lain with a woman before. I did not love her as I love John, indeed I scarcely knew her, so perhaps that is why I found it less enjoyable. I do have such love for you, such deep esteem, and I cannot deny you are beautiful. I… I know it is wrong to speak of such things like this, but I wished you to know that I would be a true husband in that way, and a faithful one – if you wish it. But I would never force you.”

Elizabeth pondered his words. Kitty had not been able to resist sharing the particulars of what went on in a marriage bed, and had teased her that Captain Darcy would likely be a desirable companion in that regard. She had even imagined it a time or two, alone in her bed. Especially after that kiss.

She considered sharing such intimacies with Olly, though she knew little of the sensations that Kitty had assured her were vastly agreeable, making the best of kisses seem a mere trifle. If Kitty could do so with Mr. Collins of all people – a notion that was best to think little about – Elizabeth could certainly do so with Olly.

“I would like children,” she said at last. “And I think… I would like to…. Kitty says it is great fun, and that afterward you might lie in bed discussing any number of things, and the simplest of notions seem amusing and delightful.”

Oliver Lucas had never laughed so hard at anything Elizabeth said; his humanity was therefore considerable. “You wish to lie with me so that we might have a euphoric conversation afterward! Oh, you shall make a charming wife.”

Elizabeth joined in his laughter, letting out a giddy hoot. It was so bizarre, to go from mournful sobriety to utter misery, and then feel so excessively diverted. Utterly nonsensical!

When their mirth was spent, Olly gave her hand a cheerful kiss and they walked on. “We can have the banns called day after tomorrow, if you like. I will have to spend some time in London, you know. I believe I might be frequently travelling between London and Netherfield, but it is an easy distance and I do not mind it. I have another year of my current assignment advising in the Office of the Admiralty.”

“And then what? Shall you retire to the life of a country gentleman?”

“If you wish it. We can certainly afford it, though I confess I would like to go to sea once more, if some opportunity arises. Not for long, but if I win a little more prize money, we could provide for as many children as you wish. I may expect to give several daughters dowries.” Olly gave her a roguish wink.

Elizabeth nodded. “That sounds agreeable to me. I believe I do wish for Charlotte to reside with us, for then I shall have come company when you are away.”

“I am glad of that, Lizzy. And I am truly honoured that you would entrust me with your future happiness. My heart broke for you when we heard the news….”

“I do not wish to speak of it,” Elizabeth said hastily. “No, I am… I am glad to be set free from my anguish. It went on for too long, and now it is done. I will not let it poison my future, when I know I might be happy.”

“You are sure? I might ride to London and speak to Will – perhaps it is a mistake or a misunderstanding?”

Elizabeth shook her head. “It is the reason I have not heard from him since he went to Pemberley six months ago. It is finished, Olly. I can bear it no longer.”

“Then I accept your acceptance, Mrs. Lucas,” he said with a broad smile, lifting her hand aloft and giving her a spin. “Lizzy Lucas, how well that sounds!”

This last was said in a voice mimicking her mother’s, and Elizabeth laughed, her heart feeling lighter as they turned back toward Longbourn to delight their families with the good news.