Chapter 19

CHAPTER NINETEEN

BARRETT

Owen was extra fidgety by the time we arrived at Reed and Jakob's house. He'd claimed no nerves at the house when I got him diapered, dressed in a sweet dinosaur onesie, and packed a bag of supplies. The reality of facing his fear of playing around others was, I imagined, daunting and crept up on him the closer we got to his playdate. I went around to his side of the car and crouched to his eye level when I opened the door.

"Hey, baby, you are in charge here. If you want to go, we go."

"How will you know if I'm having trouble talking?"

"I put your blankie in the bag. If you can't talk, put it over my shoulder, and I'll know it's too much for you." I grabbed both his hands and tugged his body until he was facing me. "You're my only priority. Everyone else will understand if it's too much, and if they don't, that's fine too. Baby, I'm your Da, and the only thing I‘m going to worry about is you." I booped his nose and then kissed it. "Just you."

"Kay, Da." He held my hand much tighter than I was used to from him. I squeezed his fingers back and gave him a confident smile. If there was anything I trusted, it was that these boys and their men, plus Anders, loved fiercely and would protect Owen. "We go."

I helped him out of the car and down the walkway to their front door. The door flew open before I could even raise my hand to knock.

"Owen, you came! I'm so excited. Yay-yay-yay!" Jakob chanted while he turned in a circle wiggling his butt in a happy dance. It was hard not to smile at his silliness, and it worked like a charm on Owen.

"Da, silly." Owen's giggle stopped Jakob in mid-dance.

With a sweet smile, Jakob held out his hand to Owen and asked, "Owen, you wanna see the playroom?"

Owen glanced up at me. "Go on, baby. I'll be right behind you. I think Rory's already playing."

Jakob waited patiently for Owen to decide whether to take his hand. He finally took a few hesitant steps forward and put his hand in Jakob's outstretched one. That was enough of a green light and Jakob tugged him through the foyer toward the playroom at the back of the house. I trailed behind to give him some space but close enough to intervene.

"Look who I have!" Jakob whisper-shouted and presented Owen like a gift. "Ta-da!"

Rory's expression exploded in joy and he clapped his hands. "Owen! I've been waiting and waiting and waiting. Daddy and Uncle Reed said I gotta have paa-peh-pa—, ugh, they said I gotta wait."

Rory sat on the floor and bounced up and down like a tiger on his tail. Jakob plopped down next to him, leaving Owen in the middle of the room.

"Rory, 'member what my Papa said. He said Owen's a baby, and we gotta be super-duper careful." Jakob was very firm.

"I 'member." Rory forced himself to slow his movement and patted the spot next to him on the rug. "Owen, you wanna sit with us?"

Owen glanced back at me for confirmation.

"It's okay," I said with a smile and nod. Owen inched his way toward the rug and sat down with them. His fisted hand started in his lap, floated toward his mouth, and then retreated several times.

If he was going to play, a thumb in his mouth wasn't a great plan. I fetched his paci from the bag I brought with us. "Hey, baby, this will help." I clipped the paci to his onesie and gently probed his lips until he opened and latched.

"Owen, you wanna play?" Rory asked. "We got new toys! Uncle Reed and Daddy helped us pick 'em out."

One by one, the boys presented Owen with his options. They had textured cloth blocks along with some malleable plastic cars. However, the rag doll they offered him drew Owen's interest the most. He immediately clutched it to his chest and gave the baby a few pats on the back. Rory and Jakob high-fived and complimented each other for finding the baby, and weren't they so smart because they knew they'd find something that all of them loved?

After a quick victory dance that looked very much like the chicken dance popular at wedding receptions, they hurried to get their own baby dolls. Between the three of them, the babies had a bounty of options in which bottles and blankets would be best. The babies must have been very picky because they demanded new options every few minutes.

During all of it, Rory and Jakob checked in with Owen and made sure he was taken care of and had what he needed. After his initial shyness, he enthusiastically joined them in helping their baby dolls choose new bottles and blankets to be wrapped in. He didn't say much beyond one-word responses, but he was giggling and smiling.

"Hey, I figured this was where I'd find you."

I jumped a little when I heard Gabe's voice. I wasn't sure when, but at some point, I'd sat down on the couch and just watched the boys play. Seeing Owen happy while playing with others was too mesmerizing to walk away from and not savor every second. "Oh, yeah, I got distracted watching them."

Gabe smiled indulgently at Rory. "Yeah, I have the same problem. When they are so happy and in the moment, the only thing I want to do is sit and enjoy them playing. It's dopamine by proxy."

"Hi, Daddy. You wanna play too?" Rory asked from the floor while he waved his baby in Gabe's direction.

"I'll play in a little bit, Bunny. I just came in to tell you that Anders got stuck at work, but he said he'll be here in about thirty to forty-five minutes at the latest." Rory's smile disappeared. "I know, buddy, but I can't do anything about Ander's boyfriend."

"He's a meanie head and makes Anders sad." Rory pouted.

"Stop, Bunny. Even if we don't like Anders's boyfriend, it's not okay to call him names. Don't you think that would hurt Anders?"

Rory, properly chastised, hung his head and whispered, "I'm sorry, Daddy."

"C'mere, you're not in trouble."

Rory scrambled off the floor and jumped in his Daddy's lap. Gabe whispered something in his ear and Rory was quick to agree. He snuggled in with his baby doll and closed his eyes.

Owen looked over at them before turning to me. "Da?"

"Climb up, baby." I patted my lap, and Owen jumped at the instruction and hurled himself off the floor and onto my lap. He brought the rag doll with him and proceeded to snuggle him just like Rory had done with his Daddy on the other chair.

"Nooooo, I wanna play!" Jakob cried from the floor, where he was now the only one sitting on the rug.

"Shhh, love, you can play in a bit. The boys just need some cuddle time, and I do too," Reed said as he walked into the room with his hands and arms full. "Jakob, can you be a helper and give everyone their drinks? And then I need my own snuggles."

"Imma be the bestest helper, Papa," Jakob said as he leaped to his feet and went to help Reed.

"Love, you absolutely are." Reed leaned forward to kiss Jakob's nose, which sent all the boys into fits of giggles. Even Owen giggled, and the tinkling sound of happiness made my heart swell. It felt too big for my chest.

I glanced down to find Owen's eyes trained on me. I kissed his nose too. He returned the favor with a sweet kiss on my cheek. Relaxation and happiness radiated off Owen. There had never been a single moment in my life when I'd felt more content and happier than at that moment.

Reed handed Gabe and me bottles of a local craft brew. The Pacific Northwest might be known for our coffee obsession, but we were no slouch in the craft beer either. Orca Bay became my instant favorite when I figured out how to get my underage hands on some. There were benefits to your dad owning a hospitality company, and the ability to swipe some out of the tapped kegs was one of them.

We clinked our bottles and drank down the Baltic porter. The bigger boys were provided with cute sippy cups covered in dancing puppies. Jakob handed Rory his cup and then set his own next to the chair I presumed Reed would claim.

Jakob approached us with his hands behind his back. " Owen, I picked out your bottle, but I can get you a sippy cup if you don't wanna use it."

Jakob looked nervously at the bottle but held it out to Owen. Owen looked equally unsure before he reached out and grabbed it. Owen drew it to his mouth for a few suckles before he smiled around the silicone nipple and said yummy.

Jakob beamed. "I knew you'd like it. Papa! I was right! Owen liked the super-duper special bottle I picked out for him!" Owen pulled his bottle out to look at it. "Look! It's got black kitties on it for Elizabeth," Jakob hollered.

"I knew I had a smart Cookie Monster!" That sent the boys into more giggles. "But none of you monsters get dessert until after dinner."

"Papa! I need a cookie now!" Jakob demanded.

"You're lucky you get any dessert after all that sugar you've been sneaking into the lab at lunch." Reed gave Jakob a stern look, and he promptly zipped his lips and threw away the key.

Jakob climbed onto Reed's lap, put the paci hanging from his onesie in his mouth, and snuggled in like the other boys. While the boys snuggled in our laps, Reed, Gabe, and I discussed how the Rainers hockey team was doing—not great—and whether they'd make it to the Cup—no chance in hell. We were so invested in the conversation that we didn't hear Anders let himself into the house.

"Hello? Hello?" Anders called from the hallway.

"Anders! Anders! Anders!" Jakob and Rory jumped up and raced toward the front of the house. A few moments later, an exhausted Anders appeared in the doorway with a boy pulling on each hand. I only knew him because he'd been Rory's best friend since the second grade, but those bags hadn't been there the last time I'd seen him.

"Hey, Anders, good to see you."

With Owen in my lap, I couldn't do anything but wave. Gabe and Reed gave him bro hugs while the boys tag-team tackled him. Anders, who was only a few inches shorter than me, gave the boys a fierce hug in return and then sat on the far end of the couch I was on.

"Hi, Owen. I'm really glad to see you tonight."

Owen didn't speak but smiled around the bottle he was nursing and wiggled his fingers. I glanced over at Anders and said in a rueful tone, "I‘m pretty sure that's Owen for hello."

"Oh, I'm certain of it," Anders answered with a fond smile. He laid his head back and groaned, "Christ, I'm tired. Boys, as much as I adore you, I can't get down and play with you tonight because I might fall asleep and not be able to get up. Owen, can you and I hang out tonight?"

Owen blushed a little but nodded his head.

"Anders, you 'kay?" Rory asked with worry evident in his tone. He'd returned to his Daddy's lap, who looked just as concerned.

"I'm fine, buddy. It was just a long day, and I was distracted because I knew I was coming over here for some of Reed's cooking. What are we having anyway? It smells effing delicious."

"Pork tenderloin with an apple cider glaze, pureed sweet potatoes, and roasted Brussels sprouts."

"Papa, don't forget the cookies. They ‘portant," Jakob piped up.

"Oh, and some crème br?lée cookies we got from the bakery because that's too much for me."

"Crème br?lée is my favoritist," Rory added.

"What? I thought spinach cookies were your favorite, Rory!" Anders teased.

Rory scrunched up his face before he added, "Ew, no. I don't want salad in my cookies."

"Silly, you don't want salad anywhere."

Once dinner was put away and the boys had all been cleaned up, we returned to the playroom. Rory and Jakob plopped on the floor to create some kind of craft project that they promised would not involve excessive glitter. Reed's under-his-breath swears when he saw the overturned jar of glitter said that was a lie.

True to his word, Anders had played quietly with Owen. They sat with the boys, but Anders focused on helping Owen build a block tower, and then they rolled a ball to knock it down. When Jakob and Rory paused their dragon fighter racer game, they asked Owen if he wanted to join them in coloring. When he shyly nodded yes, Jakob and Rory told him to hold on because they had a surprise and returned with a wrapped package. They shyly presented it to him with eyes lit up with excitement. They both were wiggly in anticipation.

"Owen, we picked it out for you."

"Uncle Gabe and Papa helped wrap 'cause tape is hard."

Owen accepted the package, then turned to Anders and asked for help. Anders dutifully helped him dislodge the tape so he could unwrap the package. Inside, he found jumbo crayons and a coloring book of cats and kittens.

"Owen! We sowwy! Don't be sad, okay?" Jakob and Rory said almost in unison when Owen struggled to process the emotions that played across his face.

There was gratitude and love, but he was also overwhelmed and overstimulated. I was about to get down on the floor with Owen when Anders held up a hand to stop me.

"Boys, this is a lot for Owen. I bet he loves the rag doll and the coloring book, but he went from no playmates to the two best playmates in the entire world in just a couple of hours. We have to let him sit with it for a sec."

"Owen, you still happy?" Jakob asked solemnly.

"Yeah, happy is good." Rory chimed in.

"I happy," Owen whispered, clutching the coloring book to his chest. "Pretty kitties."

"Boys, I need you to keep coloring your own pages. Owen is going to take a quiet break and maybe join in a little bit later."

The boys agreed and playfully argued about which picture they should do. Anders and Owen flipped through his new coloring book, and Anders talked about the pictures Owen pointed out. He was the perfect, watchful babysitter.

Anders was such a mystery to me. He wasn't a little, but not a Daddy either. His caretaking tendencies came through like a beacon, but nothing that indicated he was a Dom—Daddy or otherwise. His boyfriend and boss never attended our get-togethers, and we'd stopped including him in the invitation. He claimed happiness, but his perpetual state of exhaustion wasn't particularly convincing.

After a few minutes of looking at the pictures, Owen got off the floor and came to where I watched him on the sofa. He leaned down and urgently whispered, "Potty, Da."

Oh shit. He'd been antsy sitting there, and it didn't register to have him use the bathroom. Dammit.

"Hold on, baby. Let me find a spot. Reed, which bathroom would you like us to use?"

They were all Daddies. They knew the drill, if not the circumstances I'd accidentally created.

"Use the guest room off the foyer. You remember where it's at?" At my nod, he also added, "If you need anything, there's a good chance it's under the sink."

I nodded my thanks, grasped Owen's hand, and brought him to the room .

"Wait here for me, baby," I directed Owen until I could check the supplies under the sink.

"Kay-kay."

I gave him a quick kiss on the forehead. He was such a sweetheart. Under the sink, I found disposable pads and sealable bags for disposal. There were also a few diapers, but I'd put some of Owen's in the bag before we left the house. In the future, I'd also need to put pads and bags so I wouldn't have to worry about borrowing supplies. When I returned to the bedroom, Owen was exactly where I'd left him.

"You're such a good boy for Da. Let's get you squared away."

I laid the pad down and helped Owen with his clothes. Once cleared, I told him to hop on the pad and lie back. The last thing I wanted was for him to be embarrassed or upset, and I knew he was on the verge of it as a bright-red blush stained his cheeks and he stared off into space.

Yes, he was still in a little space, but not the fun, safe, cozy mindset I'd hoped for him. I worked quickly to get Owen wiped off, lotioned, powdered, and re-diapered. I wrapped everything up, sealed it in the bag, and washed my hands before returning to the bedroom. I'd toss the sealed bag in the trash on my way back to the playroom.

Once his clothes were back on, I braced myself against the headboard and drew Owen close. He snuggled into my side and sighed.

"Baby, you doing all right?"

Rather than answer, Owen nodded against my shoulder. His fingers played with the buttons on my shirt. His blush was still there but not quite as bright. I kissed the top of his head and wrapped my arms around him.

"I'm so proud of you. I know today was so scary for you, and you did it. You're so brave. "

Owen didn't answer, but I didn't really expect him to. Owen's thumb found its way into his mouth, and the soothing sounds of his suckling lulled both of us. I wasn't sure how long we stayed there, probably no more than twenty minutes.

Lying with him on the bed, I knew without a doubt this man was it for me. I'd known he was someone I would love back when we were freshmen, and that hadn't changed in over ten years. I was done. One way or the other, he was the end.

"Da, wanna go home."

"Then let's go home."