Chapter 16

Rowan didn't know whether to be excited, terrified, or simply throw up. Mother had drilled cleanliness into him like, well, Godliness he supposed, except he never remembered her going anywhere near a church or insisting he should either.

His pads had hurt and chafed for so long he was used to it. But Daddy was saying things…acting like he cared that they shouldn't hurt. Could Rowan trust him? Deep-down do-or-die trust him?

"I know we haven't been together long enough for you to trust me."

Rowan startled, like Daddy had just plucked that thought from his brain. But he did. He trusted Daddy more than anyone, and he didn't know why.

"Baby boy, we're going to get some breakfast, then I want us to talk about what you want your life to look like, at least in the short term." He helped Rowan to stand.

What did that mean? Rowan's pulse picked up. Did that mean Daddy was getting sick of him already? Was he too needy?

"Baby," Daddy paused and turned back to where Rowan had come to an abrupt halt. Daddy turned and closed the gap. His hand rested so gently on Rowan's cheek, and Rowan turned and rubbed against his palm. He was so warm, so strong. "Stop worrying. I told you, I got this." Rowan's feet closed the gap of their own accord and he snuggled into the arms that surrounded him, sighing happily. He loved being called baby boy.

I could stay here all day.

"We need to get you something to eat." Rowan stiffened. He couldn't help it. Daddy steered Rowan to the table, but instead of sitting next to him, he pulled Rowan onto his lap.

"Daddy," Rowan squeaked out. "The chair. It'll break." What if I leak?

Gabriel chuckled. "Nope. You ever seen Master Bartholemew?"

Rowan shook his head.

"Well, he's a Bear. Belongs to a motorcycle club. He's specifically a Daddy Dom, and he came around once to drop a file off for me to do with a new hire I was looking at. Bartholemew weighs in at nearly three hundred and fifty pounds, and these chairs support him fine. We barely weigh that between us."

Rowan buried his head against Gabriel's chest and didn't reply. He was fat. There wasn't another word for it. Daddy was just being kind.

"Do you have any idea how sexy you are or how hard you make me?"

Rowan gaped, but before he got the chance to process that, Daddy carried on. "I'm not going to ask for an answer now," Gabriel said. "But as your Daddy, I am enforcing healthy eating. And by that I don't mean saying you're full when you aren't or not having treats on the weekend. I don't advocate eating pancakes with syrup every day, but food is meant to be enjoyed, baby, and well, you don't seem to have a lot to smile about at the moment." Rowan didn't reply. "I told you that you are my most precious possession."

Rowan was so startled he looked up.

"And not only do I expect you to look after what's precious to me, I also expect me to, as well." Daddy sighed. "Mom used to say, today's a new day. When we'd messed up as kids or had been rude or cranky. She'd declare a new day at any point. It could be three in the afternoon, and you felt like you were getting a do-over. So, I'm declaring the same." Daddy smiled. "I want you to get some food into you first. Then we'll sort out the day."

Rowan had a thought. "Aren't you working?" He wasn't even sure what day it was.

"I emailed them yesterday to say I was taking emergency family PTO. I haven't taken my leave allotment in the last three years." He shrugged. "Maybe they'll fire me and do me a favor."

"Do you a favor?" What did that mean?

Daddy nodded. "I need a push to write, and I have a choice. Stay here for a few months and see if I can do it or buy the house I want now Clare is managing her own finances."

Except Rowan could buy him the house. Take the money his father constantly offered him. He could buy it for him and barely make a dent in his interest, but something told him Daddy wouldn't like that idea. "Couldn't you do both? Take the time, then change your mind if you don't like it?"

Daddy cocked his head. "Yes, and there will be other plots of land. I suppose I'm sick of the travelling as well. But…" Daddy kissed him on the cheek. "Let's talk about all this later, after we get something in your tummy."

But Rowan was thinking of something else. Maybe if he could slim down a little Daddy Gabriel might want to keep him? Then Rowan could buy Daddy the house and Daddy wouldn't have to leave to go to work. Rowan eeped as Daddy stood with him in his arms, turned, and deposited him on the chair. He was so strong.

Rowan pressed his lips together. He could say he wasn't hungry. It wouldn't exactly be a lie because nerves and worries seemed to fill him so full he didn't have room for food. "I—I'm really not very hungry, Daddy." Rowan could feel his face heating and ducked his head in case Daddy noticed.

But Daddy simply hummed thoughtfully, washed and dried his hands, and opened the fridge. He got out a cutting board and washed an apple and some grapes. Then he cut the apple into small, bite-size pieces and added a spoonful of peanut butter and the grapes in a dish that had firetrucks on it.

Rowan's lips parted in shock as Daddy put the dish in front of him. "How about you have a healthy snack while I look at what else we have?"

"But Daddy, peanut butter?"

Daddy turned. "You said you had no allergies?"

"No," Rowan flushed even more. "No, it's just, well. Peanut butter is bad for you." Plus grapes? Mother had always said grapes were packed with sugar.

"Actually," Daddy said. "I'm not sure who told you that, but peanut butter is a great source of protein. And fruit, obviously."

Daddy picked up one of the apple pieces and dipped it in the peanut butter, then held it to Rowan's mouth. "Open wide," he said a little hoarsely. Rowan obeyed immediately and Daddy groaned as Rowan's lips touched the end of his fingers. "How can you make eating an apple so damn sexy?"

If Rowan's mouth hadn't been full, he would have gaped. Sexy? Him? Then Daddy went to the drawer and got out the coloring book Rowan had used and some pencils. He brought a paper napkin over as well. "In case your fingers get sticky." Then he went to the fridge and pulled some eggs out.

Rowan stared at the coloring and the dish of yummy snacks. He felt like Alice. Like he'd fallen down some magical tunnel into this perfect place where nothing bad happened.

A few minutes later, when Rowan was absorbed in making the best picture possible for Daddy and chewing on an apple bite, Daddy came over to the table with a damp cloth and a towel. "Put your coloring down for now because breakfast is ready."

Rowan looked up and dropped the pencil in surprise. "But I ate my breakfast." He swallowed, the apple and peanut butter suddenly feeling very heavy in his tummy.

Daddy picked up Rowan's hands one by one and used the damp cloth to wash them, then dried them carefully. Rowan didn't seem able to speak.

"I made you a boiled egg and soldiers. Whole wheat toast." Daddy grinned. "I have a friend in the UK that got me hooked on them. It's fun dipping the toast in the egg."

Rowan's tummy grumbled at the thought. He definitely wanted an egg and soldiers. He wanted it very badly, but he wanted to keep Daddy more. "I'm full," he whispered. It was a lie and Rowan felt his face flame.

Daddy considered him thoughtfully. "Something tells me you just told Daddy a lie."

Heat then cold rushed through Rowan and tears pricked his eyes. Oh God, now Daddy would hate him. Daddy crouched down, so he was on the same level as Rowan. "Can you do something for me?"

Rowan nodded. Anything. He would do anything.

"Then I want you to let go of all the other people's voices in your head that tell you when and if you can do something and just listen to your voice. You're an intelligent boy, Rowan. You're smart and kind to a fault. If you promise me it's because you're genuinely full, then of course you don't have to eat your breakfast. But I want that promise first."

Rowan pressed his lips together. All sorts of words were fighting to get out, but his head was full of other voices. "It's hard," he whispered.

Daddy brought a hand to his cheek and Rowan leaned into it, closing his eyes. "I know we already said that it was too early for absolute trust, but are you worried I would do anything to harm you?"

Rowan's eyes flew open and his breath hitched. "No, no Daddy, of course not."

"Then trust me on this. I promise to take care of you, and that means all of you. I respect every decision you make. You can safe-word at any time and there will never be a punishment for safe-wording, ever. So Monday to Friday, we eat healthily. Weekends are for treats."

Which sounded like it would last for a long time. Oh, how Rowan hoped that was true.

"I promise," he whispered and picked up a toast soldier with one hand and a small spoon to scoop out his egg in the other.

He ate every scrap. Not that Daddy had given him a lot, and he enjoyed seeing Daddy eat two eggs, more toast, and drink two cups of coffee. Then he rushed to help Daddy clear the kitchen because he'd cooked. Every so often Daddy sent him a warm smile, or he might brush his lips on Rowan's cheek, or squeeze his hand. Rowan felt like he was flying.

Daddy told Rowan he needed to check in with his sister before they talked, and Rowan's ears pricked up. Daddy had told him about Clare's physical challenges and Rowan hoped she would approve of him. What amazed him was that Daddy never attempted to make his call private and he listened avidly as Daddy teased her. He could tell Daddy was very fond of her.

"I have some news," Daddy said, and his eyes sought Rowan's. "I have a gorgeous man staying with me."

Rowan could hear the squeal. Huh, the neighbors could probably hear it.

"Tell me he's pretty," Clare's voice came over the line.

Daddy chuckled. "I just put you on speaker, but yes, Rowan is beautiful."

Rowan turned so hot he worried he might combust.

"But he's shy and I think I might have just embarrassed him," Daddy said, humor in his voice. "I can't wait for the two of you to meet." Daddy sent him a fond smile, and it warmed Rowan to his toes.

"Maybe after my trip with Stacey?" Clare asked eagerly.

Daddy confirmed, asked her another couple of practical questions about a new access door or something, told her he loved her, and hung up.

Rowan thought he should ask something, but before he could work himself up to it, the sound of a cell ringing could be heard from the bedroom.

"Well, it isn't mine," Daddy grinned, waggling the phone he still held. He walked to the bedroom to grab Rowan's and all Rowan's happiness evaporated. Although it was probably his dad or his study buddies. They occasionally still asked if he was going to hang out with them. The phone had stopped ringing when Daddy came back with it, but as he handed it to Rowan, it started again. Rowan answered it quickly without thinking because he wanted to get back to the cozy bubble he was in with Daddy and shut out the rest of the world.

"Rowan," he acknowledged and glanced at Daddy, needing the grounding.

"Where are you? I've already spoken to Mrs. Edwards, and she told me you were very rude to her in town. The car isn't here so I can't go out. And don't lie to me and try to tell me you're at a study group because all your books are here."

Rowan's hands seemed to seize, and the phone slipped from his grasp. Mother? But wasn't she in jail? Daddy grabbed the phone before it slipped off his lap and eyed the number. Then decisively, he ended the call. A second later, it started ringing again and Daddy simply turned it off.

"I'm assuming that was your mother?"

But Rowan felt so nauseous he didn't dare open his mouth. She expected him to go home. He would have to. What if she found out where he was? What if she turned up here? "I—I have to go," he whispered, voice cracking. He couldn't risk her bringing her poison here.

Daddy didn't reply for a moment, but then he stood and held out his hand. Rowan took it automatically and Daddy led him to the comfy old chair in the bedroom. Daddy sat and dragged Rowan onto his lap. "This is what we're going to do. We're going to call your dad first and find out what's going on. Then if we need to, we'll call the detectives. If you really need to see your mother, I will take you, but I'm not leaving you there and you're not seeing her on your own."

"I'm not?" Rowan repeated. Daddy wouldn't leave him?

Daddy shook his head, then bent and, for the first-time, kissed Rowan on his lips.