Chapter 6

Six

T amara had never been good at faking anything, so pretending like that kiss never happened was taking its toll.

She knew why Ethan had done it—out of comfort, maybe even pity—but it didn’t change how she reacted. Like she wanted more. So she’d been doing her best to ignore him ever since.

However, her plan to freeze Ethan out had hit a snag. A big one, in the shape of one super smooth, super charming, super likeable, pain in the ass.

Why did he have to be so damn charismatic?

She wanted to maintain a polite distance between them to ensure he didn’t get the wrong idea; that she had started to enjoy his flirting.

A long camel ride across the sand dunes of Jaiselmar had been perfect for her plan. Little opportunity for conversation, lots of concentration required to stay on the loping dromedaries.

But she hadn’t counted on arriving at this romantic haven in the middle of the desert for an early dinner, and hadn’t counted on the persistent attention of one determined guy.

Despite her monosyllabic responses, her deliberate long silences, and her focussed attention on the horizon, Ethan persisted.

For some reason, he seemed determined to charm her.

Why? They’d crossed paths occasionally over the last year and he’d been nothing but professional, almost aloof. Yet now, he’d gone from teasing to full-on flirting, and try as she might, she couldn’t maintain her freeze much longer. Under the scorching Indian sun, she had a serious thaw coming.

“Pretty spectacular, huh?”

With a weary sigh, she turned to face him, instantly wishing she hadn’t when that piercing blue eyed gaze fixed on her with purpose.

“Sure is.”

Her gaze drifted back to the beautiful tent city silhouetted against a setting sun, the sky an entrancing combination of indigo streaked with mauve and magenta where it dipped to the horizon and a sweep of golden sands as far as she could see.

A tingle rippled through her and she shivered despite the heat, captivated by the beauty of a land she felt more in sync with every day.

This was why she’d come to India; to reconnect with herself, and her past.

When she first booked this trip she’d envisioned shedding tears over her mum not being with her to share new experiences, releasing some of her residual anger against Richard, and discovering that missing part of herself tied to this mystical country.

Never in her wildest dreams had she anticipated feeling like this. Not that she could verbalise what this was. But every time Ethan had glanced at her over the last few days, she’d felt overwhelmed, off-kilter, alive .

She liked his inherent ability to coax a smile, to make her laugh despite the unrelenting bitterness weaving a constricting net around her heart. He had a way of putting her at ease and she’d slowly but surely unwound.

But then she’d catch an off-guard glance, a loaded stare, and a little current of something arced between them like the faintest invisible thread; intangible, insubstantial, yet there all the same.

It terrified her.

This journey had been about self-discovery, and she’d discovered more about herself over the last few days than she’d anticipated, in the startling realisation she may be attracted to a man totally wrong for her.

“Let’s get something to eat,” he said, with a smile.

She forced herself to relax as Ethan helped her down from the camel by holding her hand and placing his other in the small of her back, a small gesture that meant nothing.

So why did the heat from his palm through her thin cotton sundress brand her, her skin prickling as she irrationally wished he’d linger.

She could blame this new awareness of Ethan as an attractive man on India, its wild, untamed edge bringing out the same in her. But she’d be lying, and if there was one thing she’d learned through her fiasco of a marriage it was to never lie to herself again.

As he held open a tent flap and gestured for her to enter, his inquiring gaze locked on hers and she swallowed when she glimpsed desire in his hypnotic eyes.

He knew she’d been trying to avoid him and he didn’t care.

So much passed between them in that one, loaded stare: challenge, intent, and heat, so much heat that sizzled and zapped and had her diving into the tent for a reprieve.

She’d been a fool. Playing it cool with Ethan hadn’t been the right way to deter him. A guy like him would now see her as a challenge and she’d be damned if she sat back and watched him try to charm his way into her good graces.

She wasn’t interested in anything remotely romantic and even if she was, he’d be the last guy she’d turn to.

“You can’t keep up the silent treatment forever.” The amusement in his voice only served to irk more.

“Watch me.”

She swivelled on her heel to walk away and he grasped her arm, leaving her no option but to face him, while trying to ignore the erratic leap of her pulse at his innocuous touch.

“That kiss was nothing,” he said. “Surely we can get past it?”

Ouch, that hurt. Of course a kiss would mean nothing to a player like him, and while she should be glad he was brushing it off, he’d wounded her pride.

Richard had battered her self-esteem, making her doubt her desirability as a woman, and Ethan dismissing their kiss resurrected old feelings of inadequacy.

Besides, she’d done her best to forget it, but couldn’t. The briefest touch of his lips had unlocked something deep inside, had brought to life a part of her assumed long dead.

That something was hope.

“Come on, Tam. What do you say we put it behind us and enjoy this lovely feast?”

He pointed at the linen-covered tables displaying in a staggering array of mouth-watering dishes she normally would’ve pounced on if her stomach wasn’t tied in knots.

A hint of that pirate smile tugged at his mouth and she gritted her teeth.

How could a woman resist?

“Okay. But so you know, I’m not interested in anything…uh…what I mean to say is—I’m not ready for—”

“It was just a kiss,” he murmured in her ear, and she stiffened as a surge of renewed lust burst through her at his warm breath fanning her cheek. “An all too short one, unfortunately.”

He released her arm and headed for the table, leaving her torn between wanting to shake him and admire him for not backing down.

He pulled out a chair for her and she sat as a waiter bearing several silver domed platters bore down on their table, deposited their meal, whipped off the domes, and retreated with a small bow.

The fragrant aromas of spicy curries never failed to set her salivating but tonight, her stomach clenched as she realised no matter what she said to Ethan, he’d still do exactly what he pleased; namely, flirt with her.

“I’d like to propose a toast.” He picked up his champagne flute and waited for her to do the same. “To new beginnings and new experiences. May this journey bring us everything we could possibly wish for.”

Tamara stared into her flute, watching the effervescent bubbles float to the surface. New beginnings, new experiences … hadn’t she wanted all that and more this trip? So why was she getting hot and bothered over a little harmless flirtation?

She knew Ethan was a playboy and flirting came as naturally to him as breathing. Just because she’d only ever seen his cool, business side, there was no reason to get wound up when he slipped into relaxed mode, where charm came as easily as his millions.

It meant nothing to him, he’d said so. She was so out of practice dealing with a charming man she’d lost perspective. Time to chill.

“To new beginnings.” She lifted her glass and tapped his gently before raising it to her lips, wondering if the bubbles sliding down her throat or his mischievous smile gave her a buzz.

“Let’s eat.” He gestured at the food.

Silence reigned as they tucked into Jaipuri mewa pulao , a spiced rice packed with dried fruit, Rajasthani lal maas , a deliciously spiced lamb, and aloo bharta , potato with a chilli kick.

As each new flavour burst on her tongue, the words to describe them flashed through her mind in the way they’d always done when she’d worked full time, vindication the time was right to get back to the workforce on her return to Australia. Rather than being nervous, she couldn’t wait.

As Ethan licked his lips and moaned with pleasure, she laughed. “I take it you’re enjoying Rajasthani cuisine.”

“Can’t get enough of it.” Popping another ladle of potato onto his plate, he nodded. “Want to hear a fascinating fact I heard from our tour leader?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Rajasthan is an ancient princely state and it gave rise to a royal cuisine. The Rajas would go on hunting expeditions and eat the meat or fowl they brought back, which is why their feasts flaunt meat.”

“Sounds very caveman-ish.”

He glanced around as if searching for something. “Where’s my club?” He asked, accompanied by a ludicrous wiggle of his eyebrows. “Fancy checking out my cave?”

She chuckled, glad she’d made the decision to lighten up. Sharing a meal with a charming dinner companion was more fun than dining alone, something she’d honed to a fine art the last year.

Though in reality, she’d been alone a lot longer than that, Richard’s long absences attributed to work or media appearances or travelling to promote his latest book.

Not forgetting the time he’d spent holed away with his mistress.

Thoughts of her husband’s infidelity soured her mood and Ethan shot her a concerned glance and pushed the platter of potato towards her. “More?”

Grateful for his distracting ploy, she nodded and ladled more food onto her plate.

“How did you get your start as a food critic?”

Another distraction and she silently applauded his ability to read her moods so well. Though it wouldn’t take a genius to figure out her expression must’ve soured at the thought of Richard and his secret girlfriend.

“I’ve always been passionate about food and I loved telling a good story at school. So, after I finished high school I worked in a professional kitchen for a while and cultivated my palate outside of it, immersing myself in all things food, then spent a year as a hostess at Pulse .”

Admiration gleamed in his eyes. “You must’ve learned a lot there. That place was the hot spot; before Ambrosia opened, of course.”

She smiled. “Of course.”

She’d loved her experience in the industry: being able to give an in-depth description of an entire meal, the restaurant, its décor, how the service contributed to the dining experience.

Work had never been a chore for her and thanks to Ethan and the opportunity he’d given her at Ambrosia the last six months she now had the confidence to return to a job she loved.

He cocked his head to one side, studying her. “Can I ask you a stupid question?”

“Sure.”

“Does all that writing spoil the fun of eating for you?”

She shook her head. “I love to eat, I love what I do. It’s as simple as that.”

As they made desultory small talk over a dessert of churma laddoos —sweet balls made from flour, ghee, sugar, almonds and cardamoms—she pondered her words.

‘As simple as that.’

Were things simple and she was complicating them?

She’d wanted to expand her mindset this trip, wanted to explore a side of her long quashed, away from the sour memories dogging her, away from Richard’s malevolent presence still hanging over her.

While she had no interest in romance, maybe she could explore the side of her long ignored?

She was a woman, a woman who’d had her self confidence battered severely, to the point she didn’t trust her judgement anymore.

Maybe Ethan could help reaffirm the woman she’d once been, a woman who loved to smile and laugh and flirt?

She longed to be that woman again.

But did she have the courage to try?