Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Gabriel clenchedhis teeth as he pulled the straps of the cilice harder, feeling the metal teeth sinking into his thigh muscle. He fought back a pained cry as blood rolled down his leg. He looked down at the skin; it was completely ruined.

The sun hadn’t even risen, too early in the morning for that, but Gabriel’s blood was already being offered for his sins. Blood-soaked bread lay stagnant in his stomach as he took on the sins of his brothers and Maria, damning his own soul in their stead.

He sighed, growing used to the harsh sting of the cilice as he fastened the buckle of the leather contraption and rolled his sweatpants down over his legs so it wouldn’t be seen. He limped to the chair before his fire and lowered himself to the leather seat. He closed his eyes and breathed through the pain. This act was essential to him, to ease the torment in his soul—a sanguine offering to the God he loved so much but who would cast nothing but punishment on Gabriel for his involvement in so many deaths.

Gabriel thought of the Coven. His stomach turned when he recalled his conversation with Dinah in the old groundskeeper’s house, when she had told him and Maria of the rescues of the children the Brethren kept in their homes. Of the emotional and physical states most of them were found in. Feral and starved and knowing nothing of kindness and charity, only pain and the Brethren’s archaic ways of cleansing their evil souls.

Gabriel knew exactly what was done to them—it had been done to him.

All these years, those men disguised as good people had hurt and tortured and ruined lives and childhoods. They couldn’t be allowed to continue. Again he thought back to his own days in the torture rooms. Being led down the stairs and lined up against the wall, the Brethren priests pushing themselves into his and his brothers’ mouths.

Gabriel shook his head, trying in vain to banish those images from his mind, to not disturb the part of himself that had pushed that trauma down deep simply so it didn’t eat him alive.

The path the Fallen had turned onto, this holy war they were diving headfirst into, may not have been one of peace, but in Gabriel’s eyes, it was a case of good versus evil. And for once, he knew that it was he and his brothers who represented the “good.” Using their darker natures to destroy an even darker, more wicked force that the world viewed as saviors.

Gabriel wanted the rescued children to be safe on his property. He needed to have them near to give them some kind of hope, some chance at rehabilitation and life. Just like his fellow Fallen brothers, they would be absorbed into his flock.

Gabriel wanted this. No, he needed it. His days were death and murder and destruction. With the children, he could rebuild them, repair the damage that had been done. He would try to save them before it was too late. Rather than fill his life with sin, he could fill it with charity and light. He could finally balance all the wrong he had done.

His heart fell when he remembered what Dinah had told him. “Some of them are too far gone,” she’d said, sorrow lacing her voice. “There is a small group, not too dissimilar to your brothers, of children believed to be born evil. Ones who already show they sway to the darker side of life. It was why the Brethren stole them away in the first place …”

Gabriel opened his eyes and looked down to find his hand formed into a fist on the arm of the chair, and it was shaking with the force of his anger. Gabriel didn’t get angry. He refused to submit to his baser desires. To any of the deadly sins.

Reaching out to the fire beside him, Gabriel took hold of a thin poker and pushed the end into the flames. He watched, fascinated, as the iron heated to orange, then he lifted up his shirt. He pulled the poker from the depths of the flames and pressed the tip to his torso. Gabriel fought back the scream of pain that came with the incineration of his flesh. But then the pain turned into pleasure, and his dick hardened in his pants.

Panting for air, sweat dripping down his back, Gabriel reached down and pinched the tip of his cock with his fingers. He bit his tongue as the pain rendered him momentarily paralyzed. He would never give in to any kind of pleasure. His vow of chastity would remain in place until he died. It was the one part of his tattered and immoral life he could still hold on to.

By leading his brothers, he frequently dipped his toes into vast pools of sin and damnation. But his personal vow of chastity … that one he could hold on to with an iron grip. That one could forever remain pure. Something solely for him and God. The one demonstration of subservience he never feared he would forsake.

As the pain subsided, Gabriel slumped in the chair, breathless. The poker dropped to the floor with a clang as it slipped from his weakened hold. He fought to catch his breath, and thoughts of his brothers and their new path sprang to mind. Gabriel could never switch off, barely ever slept. He was always thinking, always trying to find new ways of saving his family. They were everything he had, and he was intent on someday saving their damaged souls.

He thought of the new fight against the Brethren they were about to take on. He thought of the ledger that had given them the locale of the nearby Brethren meeting place. And he thought about the attack they were planning. Thinking of that brought him back to this room yesterday, and Noa. Gabriel stared at the desk and the empty seats before it and recalled where everyone had sat. His eyes drifted to the table of liquor. He remembered how Noa had followed him there to pour drinks, and how she’d taken him in her hold and thanked him for the housekeeper’s house.

Goosebumps broke out on his arms as he replayed her holding him. And not in a good or comforting way. Gabriel had always had strong instincts. He had always known that something was wrong with Michael; something inside had screamed at him that his brother was different, that his soul was tainted with darkness. So, from a young age, Gabriel had done all he could to keep Michael from hurting others, tried to distract him from his infatuation with blood, with death and, worse, with draining others of their blood. He never could—the wickedness in his younger brother was too strong even for someone of Gabriel’s moral strength to defeat.

And when he had met his other brothers in Purgatory, the hairs on the back of his neck had told him that that same darkness lived inside them too. The same darkness that polluted Michael’s soul. That hell-born unknown substance that made good people sin and peaceful people commit horrific acts in its name.

Gabriel hadn’t felt that sensation around someone for so long … not until the Coven had walked into their lives and Noa had stepped to the front of the pack, her brown eyes shielding a part of herself that she wanted to keep hidden. The warning gooseflesh on his arms had spread like wildfire over his body during that first meeting in the graveyard. Gabriel stilled. His gut had never failed him when it came to his family, to sensing the sinful nature of someone’s corrupted soul.

He recalled the Fallen and Coven’s breakfast, and the strange way Noa and Diel had become locked in one another’s stares, as if the rest of the world didn’t exist. Bara had goaded Noa, as his redheaded brother often liked to do when bored, and Diel had reached such a high level of anger so quickly that his collar had hissed at Bara like a viper. Gabriel hadn’t been able to tell if they were attracted to one another or they wanted to rip each other apart.

Then there was Noa’s confession of how she had killed—unlike her sisters, bar the one who wasn’t with them anymore. Noa had killed,just like Gabriel’s brothers did, and as she’d spoken, there was zero remorse on her face, in her voice. He squeezed his eyes shut and remembered Noa’s peculiar and sudden embrace once again. His heart started racing, panic building in his chest.

Gabriel shot to his feet, chest tight, veins filling with dread. Ignoring the excruciating pain in his thigh and side, he burst from the study and raced up to his rooms. He ran straight to his closet and the black pants he had worn yesterday. He plunged his hand into the pocket. Then he exhaled slowly through his nose—the key and remote that controlled Diel’s collar weren’t there.

“No,” he whispered aloud to no one but himself and God. His heart slammed against his ribs and his hands began to shake. He turned, searching the clean and clear floor, chasing the slight possibility that they had fallen out. But he became lost to the memory of Noa’s embrace …

She took them.

Gabriel knew deep down in his heart that Noa had taken them. Dinah had briefly told him of how the Coven had taken money from the Brethren to fund their makeshift home for the rescued children. She had touched upon what each of the Coven’s roles was. Noa was the thief.

A master one at that.

And she planned to set Diel free.

Fear, true and stark, jetted like petroleum through Gabriel’s body, and he ran for Diel’s room. He sprinted down hallway after hallway until he reached his brother’s quarters. He didn’t even knock; he just turned the knob and burst into Diel’s rooms. He searched inside every room—bathroom, bedroom, closet—only stopping dead at the foot of the bed when Diel wasn’t anywhere to be found. His bed was still made. It hadn’t been slept in last night. His curtains hadn’t been closed.

Gabriel looked out the large window that overlooked the grounds. The sun was rising, swathing the manicured lawn with a golden morning kiss. Checking his watch, he saw the time and knew his brothers would be gathering at the gym, preparing for their first training session with the Coven.

Gabriel’s face paled. His brothers and the Coven. The Coven, who Diel didn’t fully know and, without the collar, would no doubt see as his prey.

Gabriel had never run so fast in his life. Pushing his leg muscles as far as they could move, Gabriel darted for the stairs that led outside to the gym. His lungs burned, and the cilice ripped into his flesh as if a tiger were tearing the muscle apart. But he had to get there. He had to warn them, protect them.

With every hurried step Gabriel made, all he could think of was Diel when the collar was switched off. The cold, wicked smile, the pure evil that shone from his blue eyes, the frenzy that followed as he struck his victims down with knives and his bare hands, his skin doused in a blanket of blood and the monster relishing the act of stopping people’s hearts.

“Run,” Gabriel whispered to himself as he burst from the manor and approached the gym. “Fuckingrun!”

Gabriel reached the door to the gym, hearing people talking inside. He slammed through the door. Everyone inside jumped to their feet and looked his way. Gabriel came to a dead stop, eyes searching the vast space. But there was no sign of Diel.

He wasn’t there …

Gabriel felt nauseous at the only other possibility he could think of—that his uncontrollable brother had escaped the manor’s grounds. That he was outside the Fallen’s protected walls, set loose on the innocent public and open for the Brethren to capture and kill.

“Gabe?” Uriel stepped forward; Bara, Raphe, Michael and Sela quickly followed. His brothers. Diel’s family.

But Gabriel was too busy looking at the Coven on the other side of the gym. They stood in a curved line; each one of them had bright, searching eyes and their body in a fighting stance. Dinah was watching him. Dinah, Beth, Naomi, Jo, Candace … they were all alert, an eerie calmness radiating from their bodies.

“Where’s Noa?” Gabriel managed to ask, catching his breath.

Dinah’s eyebrows pulled down. “She wasn’t in her room this morning. She goes for walks a lot. She’ll be here soon. She knew we were scheduled to meet.” Dinah smirked. “We’re not each other’s keepers. We don’t keep tabs on each other twenty-four-seven.”

“Gabriel? What is it?” Maria came toward him, her voice a center of calm as always.

Gabriel pushed his wild blond curls back from his face. “Diel’s missing.” He cast a glance at Dinah and watched her expression switch from amused intrigue to deep concern … and what appeared to be a flicker of suspicion. Gabriel looked back at his brothers and Maria. “The key and remote for Diel’s collar are missing too.”

The air in the gym grew heavy with tension, then Gabriel heard footsteps on the stairs. He spun around, backing away from the doorway, and pushed himself before his brothers and the Coven, ushering them back, his instinct to protect them rising to the surface.

He flicked a glance at Dinah, but she and her sisters were crouched and ready for any kind of attack. If he hadn’t been so distracted by the potential threat of Diel striking them down, he would have been impressed and have understood what they had said about their being a unified fighting team.

Raphael pushed Maria behind him, his arm a safety guard around her back. Sela moved beside Gabriel, and Michael came silently to Gabriel’s other side.

“There hasn’t been a dull fucking moment since the witches arrived, has there?” Bara cracked his neck, smiling wide and clearly excited at the prospect of taking Diel down and subduing him until they could get him under control.

“I’ll try and get through to him first,” Sela said. Gabriel nodded. If any of them could reason with Diel’s monster, it was Sela.

And then they waited. Footsteps echoed just outside the gym’s doors. Gabriel held his breath, preparing for the worst, when the door flew open … and they appeared. Gabriel’s body felt as though it had been doused with ice as Noa and Diel crossed the threshold to the gym, side by side, and stopped dead in the doorway.

Gabriel’s eyes fell to their clutched hands … then his gaze shot straight to Diel’s throat. A choked sound slipped from Gabriel’s mouth, and his entire body braced for Diel’s attack.

His collar was off.

Noa had removed Diel’s collar.

She had stolen the key. He hadn’t even noticed. Dinah had not exaggerated about Noa’s stealth.

“Oh, shit.” Bara’s voice dropped an octave as their fears for their brother were realized.

Gabriel felt Michael inching closer, pressing his arm protectively against his brother’s. But Gabriel couldn’t take his eyes off Diel’s neck. Gabriel’s heart ripped in two. The scar underneath where his collar once sat was deep and red and raw, and it pained Gabriel because it made him feel no better than the priests who had first chained up his brother in Purgatory. Gabriel had contributed to Diel’s scar too. He had collared his brother for years, and brought him down with electric shocks when he was poised to hurt an innocent.

Gabriel felt sick to his stomach. He had hurt Diel. He had done nothing but add to his pain.

Diel wore no shirt, allowing Gabriel to see every move his brother made, every twitch of his body. Diel’s muscles jerked as his eyes darted around the gym, over the people who hovered behind Gabriel. Then Diel’s gaze landed on Gabriel, and his head tipped from left to right as he studied him. Gabriel held his breath, unsure what an uncollared Diel would do to his own brothers … to him.

Diel’s eyes appeared different. Where the Diel he knew owned eyes that were always lost, lowered, averted from people’s attentions, with this Diel, those uncensored blue eyes were alert and searching, holding an air of confidence Gabriel had never once seen his brother exhibit. The muscles on Diel’s torso were taut and flexing as his lips tightened then widened into a dark grin.

Diel suddenly moved, a viper striking its prey, and Gabriel steeled himself, feeling his brothers and the Coven beside him ready for a fight also. But Noa swung around to face Diel just as he began to charge, releasing his hand and bringing her palms to his face. “Stop,” she said, and Diel stopped dead in his tracks.

Gabriel blinked. He couldn’t believe his eyes. In an instant, all Diel’s focus fell onto Noa. He threaded his hands around her back and pulled her close.

She had stopped him. Gabriel couldn’t process what he was seeing; shock rendered him motionless.

With his collar off, Noa had stopped Diel.

“Breathe,” Noa said, her soft voice cutting through the heavy silence in the gym. “Remember, you control the darkness.” She didn’t look back at them all but said, “These are your brothers. My sisters. They are not our enemy. You are in control. These are not people to kill.”

Diel’s head ticked as if he were fighting some inner conflict, but Gabriel could see by the concentration on Diel’s face that he was listening to her, as though whatever she was saying was the final word of God and he a chosen prophet.

Gabriel reared back in shock. She was reasoning with him. Without his collar to center him. Diel took a steady breath as Noa spoke. Then he used his purchase on her back to crush her to his body and brought his mouth to hers.

Gabriel’s eyes widened at the sight of their passionate kiss. Not soft or tender, but wild and without restraint.

Gabriel didn’t know this man before them. Diel’s hand moved to the back of Noa’s head, keeping her tightly pressed against him, unable to tear her mouth from his. Noa moaned, and Gabriel averted his eyes.

Diel had never wanted a lover. As far as Gabriel was aware, Diel had never made love to anyone. He had never craved sex or romantic companionship. But the Diel before him right now … it was like he was in a desert and Noa was a sparkling oasis offering him salvation.

“Someone’s got a girlfriend …” Bara sang behind Gabriel, and Uriel and Raphael laughed under their breaths.

Gabriel looked at Dinah. She was facing her sisters, but then turned back to Noa and Diel, who were finally breaking apart. Dinah sighed, and the glance she sent Gabriel showed him the concern she felt for her sister too.

Noa moved back beside Diel and rested her elbow on his shoulder. Her lips were red and swollen from Diel’s ravaging of her mouth. She smiled, lapping her tongue around her lips as Diel’s gaze became as hard as sapphire on the crowd watching him. He folded his arms over his wide, muscled chest but kept his bicep pressed to Noa, as if they couldn’t be severed apart.

“Surprise!” Noa sang sarcastically, that cold smirk morphing into a wide, provocative grin. Noa looked up at Diel. “Looks like they’ve been waiting for us.”

Diel cocked his head. Then a matching smirk to Noa’s formed on his mouth. Gabriel was frozen, paralyzed. He knew how to deal with all his brothers. He knew how to take on Diel—both sides of his torn personality. But he didn’t know what to do with this Diel. The one brimming with self-worth. The one with darkness practically a visible cloak around him, protecting every part of him.

But even in Gabriel’s motionless state, a glimmer of pride shimmered in his heart. This Diel looked strong. This Diel looked calm. This Diel looked like he had finally found peace with himself.

“Diel?” Sela broke from Gabriel’s side and walked a few steps toward his best friend. Diel watched him the entire way, a neutral expression on his face.

It was strange. Gabriel could still see the old Diel in the man before him. He could still sense the demon that had always lurked under his skin, but … Gabriel released a quick exhale in realization. With no collar … this was Diel and the demon. Consolidated. As one. Gabriel’s legs threatened to buckle when he realized why Diel’s eyes looked so different—there was no more torment in their depths. No more fear.

Gabriel’s eyes filled with tears.

Diel’s torment had disappeared.

“Your collar …” Sela said. Gabriel refocused on his brothers.

“Is gone,” Diel said, his voice lower, stronger, and less strained. Noa moved her fingertips to his deep, gouged-out scar, softly caressing the permanently wounded skin. Diel didn’t faze her. She didn’t fear him at all. Sela approached until he stood right in front of his best friend. The room was stagnant as they all waited for what Sela would say and what Diel would do in response.

Every muscle in Diel’s body was tensed, veins protruding from his skin and tendons corded as if they were about to snap. The happiness Gabriel felt in his heart for Diel was quickly pushed away when a new concern pressed upon him—which side of Diel was now more dominant? The monster or the man?

If it was the monster …

Gabriel went to stride forward, to push Sela back until they knew if thisDiel could be trusted. But before Gabriel had even made it two steps, Sela smiled widely, put his hand around Diel’s savaged neck and pulled Diel to his chest. “About fucking time, brother.”

Gabriel froze. He watched, breath held, as a tense Diel stood like a statue against Sela. Gabriel cut a quick glance to Noa. She was watching Diel closely, and even through her shield of overt coldness, Gabriel saw warmth in her stare as she watched Diel with what looked like deep pride in her eyes.

Gabriel looked back at Diel and Sela, only to see Diel’s eyes close and a long exhale sail from his mouth. Then Diel’s arms came up and briefly embraced his best friend. Gabriel’s heart boomed like a canon. Diel was embracing Sela. His collar was off, and he was staying in control.

Diel had rarely ever embraced his brothers. The brothers had barely embraced Diel. They never knew what might trigger his monster’s wrath.

Gabriel fought back the tidal wave of sadness that threatened to bring him to his knees. Diel, for as long as he had known him, had never experienced any kind of physical affection for fear of him losing control.

An entire life empty of affection …

As if Diel could hear Gabriel’s emotions battering his body from the inside out, he opened his eyes, locked them on Gabriel and moved back from Sela. Sela stepped aside.

Gabriel met Diel’s blue gaze. Gabriel sensed that familiar darkness in his brother, the one he had always known.

In less than a second, Gabriel was back in Purgatory that first day after he had stabbed Father Quinn as a teen. He was back inside the dorm that had become the Fallen’s home for too many pain-filled years. And he was back looking at the boy in chains, shackled to a narrow bed, all blue eyes and black hair, skin and bones, with darkness looming around him like a sharpened spear primed to be launched at any given moment.

He was back to the moment he awaited his brothers at the manor. When they walked through the doors, not understanding how and why they had been let out of their Brethren prison. And he remembered Diel still in his chains, remembered later when they placed the electric collar around his neck so his monster didn’t overwhelm him—so that Diel could obey the Fallen’s commandments and not be a danger to anyone within their home.

“Brother,” Gabriel rasped, jerked back into the moment and looking at Diel without his collar. Yes, Gabriel sensed Diel’s familiar darkness, the monster still living and breathing in his soul. But the man was still there too. Gabriel’s attention fell to the scar around Diel’s neck.

“I am in control,” Diel said, making Gabriel focus back on his face. Diel was breathing in through his nose and out through his mouth, slow and steady. His head still ticked, his eyes still blinked too fast at times, as if he were fighting, always fighting. But …

“You’re in control,” Gabriel whispered, and something settled in his chest. No, something was being extinguished. Gabriel had seven ever-roaring fires inside him, one for each of his brothers. And one for himself. One had already been doused—Raphael, he realized. When Raphe had fallen in love with Maria, the flames of his fire had become soft-burning embers rather than a blazing inferno. And now another fire was waning in strength, fading to crackling cinders. Diel. It was the fire that belonged to Diel.

Diel’s jaw clenched, then his arms fell to his sides and his tightly fisted hands relaxed. “I’m in control,” Diel said hoarsely. His nostrils flared; his cheeks twitched with obvious concentration and effort. But he was doing it. Diel was actually staying in control. Gabriel felt a small, victorious smile etch onto his mouth. “I let him in.” Diel’s breathing came more easily the more he spoke. Gabriel wasn’t sure if he had ever been as proud of anyone as he was of Diel in that moment.

Diel reached out beside him, and Noa took his hand. She had been standing silently beside him this entire time, seemingly Diel’s pink-haired guardian angel. “The collar came off and I let the monster in. Where he should have always been—a part of me.” Diel’s shoulders loosened. “Just … me.”

Gabriel looked at Noa. She was waiting for the Fallen’s leader, her eyes narrowed, her stance firm. She tilted her chin higher, clearly waiting for Gabriel’s censure, his anger at her stealing the collar’s key, her risking them all in this way.

But then Gabriel bowed his head slightly and whispered, “Thank you.” Noa’s eyes widened. “Thank you for saving my brother.”

A faint blush coated Noa’s cheeks. But then she looked at Diel, who was staring down at her like she was his sun, like she was his savior. Diel’s hand tightened around hers. And Gabriel saw it then, whatever was between them—he saw it shining from their souls like beams of white light.

Noa finally tore herself away from Diel to refocus on Gabriel. “He saved himself.” She lifted their joined hands and kissed the back of Diel’s. “He saved himself.”

Gabriel took a step forward, his heart rattling in his chest. He put his hand around the back of Diel’s neck and pulled Diel toward him. Diel’s forehead rested against Gabriel’s, and Gabriel felt a lump build in his throat. His tongue felt too thick in his mouth as he held back tears—happy tears for Diel, for the lifelong battle he had won that day. “I’m proud of you,” Gabriel whispered, just for him and Diel.

Diel exhaled a long breath. To Gabriel, it sounded like freedom.

Footsteps sounded behind them. Gabriel stepped away from Diel and turned to see his brothers approaching. One by one, Uriel, Raphael and Bara embraced Diel. Even Michael stood before him, looking him in the eyes and nodding his head once.

“Not gonna lie,” Bara said. “I’m gonna miss you losing your shit and dropping to the floor when the collar took you out.” Bara’s smile was wide, taunting, but toward his brothers, his snarks and insults were always delivered with a sheen of veiled affection.

Diel smirked, a sight Gabriel would have to get used to. “Don’t worry, brother. I can still lose my shit.” Noa backed away from Diel and walked toward her sisters, laughing low at Diel’s retort. Diel stepped closer to Bara. Gabriel stilled, waiting to see if Diel really was in control. But Diel simply said, “Only there won’t be a collar to stop me this time.” Diel’s wide smile mirrored Bara’s. “Nothing but me will stop me again.”

“Anyone else looking forward to their sparring matches now?” Uriel said, and all the brothers laughed. Gabriel let out a long breath of relief.

Bara put his hand on Diel’s shoulder. “No collar, and getting pink witch pussy.” Bara shook his head. “If I didn’t love myself and my wicked good life so fucking much, I might just envy you, brother.”

“At least you don’t have a monster inside of you,” Raphael said to Bara as he made his way back to Maria.

“No monster,” Bara said, arms wide. “I’m one hundred percent evil sociopath.” He bowed dramatically. “I truly am blessed.”

“Hey!” Gabriel turned to the sound of Noa’s voice. Diel’s head snapped up. Noa braided back her long hair, then cracked her neck from side to side. “Are we going to fight, or are you pussies going to stand around gossiping all day?”

“Fight,” Diel said, pushing through his brothers and facing down the woman who had freed him from himself, a new kind of restorative energy exuding from his pores. “We’re going to fucking fight.”

So, Gabriel fell into step beside his brothers, the Coven of witches opposite, excitement flaring in their eyes too.

And for once, Gabriel’s gut didn’t warn him of something bad, some fall into darkness and sin. Instead, with the Coven and Fallen joined together in the gym, and Diel free from the collar, all Gabriel’s senses told him this was more than good.

They told him this was meant to be.