Chapter Ten

I"m trying not to think about the fact that the woman who got away is now sitting in my living room, wearing my ring, and fixing to take my last name. She has an appointment on Monday at the social security office. Never before have I ever had someone who was going to count on me for anything. It"s a type of responsibility I never saw myself having, but I guess my grandfather had other ideas.

Reaching in, I turn the knob on the shower and wait for it to warm up. This might be the best shower I"ve ever taken. Although I tend to do physical work every day, I"m exhausted tonight. It"s more than likely because I"ve been aware of Daisy all day. Every time we got close to one another, I could smell her body wash or shampoo, or I"d feel her around. It"s been enough to drive me crazy, and not in a good way.

I"ve been constantly reminded of what I actively pushed away. Not that I haven"t been reminded of that for the last few years. Coming home wasn"t a choice I made easily, because I knew she"d end up here, too. I thought about going all over the country. I didn"t really want to be anywhere around my grandfather again, but I wanted to visit my parents" graves whenever I wanted. Not to mention the only support system I"ve had in recent years is my friends and their families.

Boone and his family dinners are the only thing that"s have kept me sane for years. I even spent Christmases with the Wilsons. The entire time, I"d wonder what Daisy was doing. If she missed me, if she knew why I"d done what I did. I still remember the first time I saw her once we"d both moved back to Broken Falls.

Monroe"s is hopping tonight, and I need a drink like yesterday. Walking through the crowd of people, I"m laser focused on the table that has my best friends sitting at it. They"ve already got the beer I like to drink waiting for me. It"s been a fucking day.

"Is that mine?" I ask before wrapping my hand around the neck. "Don"t want to take a drink if it"s someone else"s."

"Nope, that"s yours," Abel says, tipping his back. "If you don"t drink it, I"m about to. It"s been a long one."

"That"s the truest statement I"ve heard today," I mumble, before taking a drink that"s enough to drain half the bottle. "Anything that could go wrong went wrong today."

"Same here. Something must be in fucking retrograde." Boone reaches in, grabbing a handful of peanuts they have on the tables here. "I mean, we may as well have sat on our hands all day for the fuckin" work we got done. Which means we"ll be working Saturday."

Abel sighs heavily. "I had plans, but I guess that"s out."

I tilt my head back and gaze around, trying to see who all is here tonight. Maybe I can get someone to go home with me. It"s been a while, and I"m lonely for a lot of things, including just someone to have a conversation with. My brain reminds me I had that with Daisy, but then I had to go and fuck that all up. As if my mind conjures her up out of my memories, I see her. She"s dancing with some bastard in the middle of the floor, swinging her hips and backing her ass into his crotch. It takes every single ounce of restraint I have in my body not to go over and ask both of them what the fuck they"re doing. But then I remember, I don"t have any claim to her. I let that go, and I can"t expect her to live like a nun because I was too scared to be hurt.

She sees me. Her hazel eyes hardening when they land on mine. Instead of ducking her head and being the shy person she was with me, she pastes a bright smile on her face, grabs the hands of the man behind her, and puts them on her hips. Once there, she entwines their fingers and then brings them closer to the vee between her thighs. But then she does it; the part that hits me right in the fucking chest. She purses her lips and tilts her head back, angling it so she and this mystery man can share a kiss.

Acid burns in my gut, and although I know I have no one to blame but myself, this shit sucks. Grabbing my beer, I drain it, before standing up. "On second thought, I"m out. It"s been a really fucking long day."

Barrett"s eyebrows go together in question. His gaze lands behind me, and when he sees her, I know. "Jasper. You don"t have to leave," he starts.

I hold my hand up. "I do. I"ll see y"all tomorrow."

That had been the first and last time I"d allowed myself to feel anything when I saw her around town. Had it worked? Not all the time, but for the most part, I was able to live without having her by my side. It wasn"t until my grandfather told me that I"d have to marry someone and have a child that I realized she was the only person who"d be able to help me.

Getting out of the shower, I dry off and put on a pair of sweatpants. When I walk out of the bathroom, I run smack dab into the woman I"ve spent my entire shower thinking about. She comes up to my collarbone, and I can"t help but notice the way her chest hitches with the quick inhale of breath.

"Sorry." She licks her lips, pulling her bottom lip in between her teeth. "I didn"t mean to run into you."

"It"s okay. This is a small house. Might not be an apartment, but it is a duplex. It"s going to be tight for us for a bit, but I"m hoping to be able to buy a house next year." I feel as if I need to make that clear to her that I don"t expect us to be in this small space forever. That I don"t expect for us to have kids here.

"It"s fine, Jasper. I don"t expect you to have everything planned for our entire lives right now."

I know her, and she wants to say more. "Don"t hold back from me. Tell me everything you want to say."

"We loved each other." She lifts her shoulder up in a shrug. "We know a lot about how the other person operates, and we both know you never wanted to get married. If it had been up to you, you"d be a bachelor forever, and I know that. The only reason we"re married is because you had to do it, and I know I probably wasn"t your first choice."

Before I can stop myself, I invade her personal space, crowding her into the opposite wall. "That"s where you"re wrong, Daisy. You were my only choice."

We're breathing heavily, her eyes go down to my lips. "You sure about that? Because I'm about to bitch at you for leaving your shit on the floor when you're done with your shower. I might be your wife, but I'm not your maid."

"If you were my maid, I'd take you bent over, Daisy."

"But I'm your wife?"

"That you are, and I'll wait until you tell me you want it, but know arguing with you is foreplay for me. Go ahead and bitch at me some more."

And with those words, I walk away. For not only my sanity, but for hers, too. She can"t see how she makes me feel. It gives her power, and I"m not ready to give that power up yet.

It"s the only thing I"ve ever been able to control.