Chapter 22

CHAPTER 22

Ayen

"Does anyone have any questions before we wrap up for the night?" The firefighter's voice boomed over the group. When no one answered, he waved his hand. "Return your gear and head to the mess hall. Good work today, gentlemen."

Shrugging off my heavy coat and letting it drop onto the ground behind me felt amazing, especially when a soft breeze trickled in through the trees and washed over my sweaty body.

Roxy let out a bark when I bent to pick up the coat again, her tail wagging happily. I brushed my hand over her head a few times, smoothing back her soft coat.

"Did you have fun today as my partner?" I smiled when she barked at me again. "Yeah, me too."

Talking to a dog like she was human no doubt had me looking a little insane. But with no partner to keep me company all day, I found myself replacing my human interaction with Jackson's dog instead. To no surprise, she was incredibly well trained and took commands like a champ.

He'd given me a crash course of it this morning before jetting off into the city for whatever reason. All day, my thoughts had been tripping up on him, wondering what in the world he'd skip out on training for when he was the one who was supposed to be running the program.

Of course, my mind had immediately gone into full disaster-mode and convinced myself for half of the fucking day that he was out meeting with someone else.

Could I even call that cheating when we weren't exactly in a stable relationship?

It sure felt like a fucking stab to the chest every time my mind got itself worked up. Thankfully, Roxy was my rock and had worked me down from going actually insane to only slightly fucked up.

After handing in my gear, I led Roxy through the property, following after the other inmates heading to the mess hall. While passing by, I took a glance over to the staff parking lot; Jackson's truck was still missing from the lot.

It was hard to not let that bother me. I missed him horribly, more than I wanted to admit to myself. The longer I dwelled on his absence, the more it was making it all the more difficult in ignoring my very obviously budding feelings.

"Hey, Gonzalez," someone called out to me. Turning, I spotted one of the firefighters, Mac. "I'm going to walk the dog back to the staff cabins. Thanks for looking after her today."

My heart squeezed. "Oh. Uh, sure."

Roxy's doe-eyes turned to me, a whine leaving her when Mac tapped on her collar and whistled at her to follow after him. I stayed rooted to my spot while they walked away. If I knew I was going to be giving her back so soon before seeing Jackson, I would've at least savored the remaining time we had together.

Now I really was all alone.

I dragged my feet as I headed into the mess hall. The food tasted like ash while I ate, tucked away in the back away from everyone.

While in prison, I'd gotten used to being alone. I'd spent most of my formative years surrounded by someone all-encompassing, his presence bleeding into every aspect of my life until I reached a point of not even being able to breathe without him there.

Prison had given me a harsh reality check into my co-dependence issues. Slapping me in the face with how much of my life I had relied on someone loving me. The past two years, I'd kept everyone at a distance, even Tyson. We were friends, of course, but the kind that you left at work when you went home for the day.

Jackson had been my first taste of the forbidden fruit after having gone sober for so long. He'd sunk down deep into my bones and made a home there, rooted indefinitely.

How could I start to pluck the blossoms that grew from it so soon after they'd begun to bloom?

I couldn't be that cruel to myself, even with my subconscious screaming at me to stop before he got hurt. My lingering need for him was an unrelenting beast that I'd need to put down eventually. For the sake of both of us.

Regardless of how much it killed me to think about.

By the time I finished up and made my way to the communal showers, I was starting to feel the fatigue from the day settle over me. We hadn't done a lot of hiking today but the gear we'd put on had been heavy and hot under the sun.

Learning how to move in gear like that gave me an even more impressive outlook on Jackson's job. Without adding the actual firefighter or search and rescue parts to the mix, the guy had a lot of guts getting into situations like that. It took a special breed of person to brave a natural disaster and keep a level head.

The hot water sluicing over my skin melted all of my stress away, leaving me feeling boneless and ready for an early bedtime. I disregarded the other inmates tossing their towels around and snapping them against each other's asses while getting dressed, and quickly hustled out before I became an unwilling participant.

Getting back to my cabin, I was surprised to see the inside door slightly ajar but didn't think much of it, until I stepped inside and caught sight of the figure sitting on my bed.

"Woah, woah," Jackson said, quickly getting up and putting his hands out toward me when I jumped hard enough to knock into the front door. "It's okay. It's just me."

I slapped a hand to my chest, exhaling shakily. "What... the hell..."

He chuckled, though his eyes were sympathetic. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. You okay?"

Lifting myself away from the door, I peeked out the window to where the dying sun was still coloring the horizon.

Why was Jackson here so early?

Wasn't he afraid of getting caught when it was still light out?

"Ayen?"

My head snapped over to look at him. "Oh, sorry."

He gestured for me to come closer to him, holding out his arms to me. I practically leaped into them, letting him sweep me up off of my feet and cradle me to his chest while he settled back down on my bunk. I instinctually buried my face into the crook of his neck, pulling in a lungful of his musky scent.

Fuck, I missed him.

As sad as it was to actually feel my entire body begin to relax, I was grateful that he hadn't waited until late tonight to come see me.

He brushed his hand along the back of my hair, threading his fingers through the wet lengths while he placed soft kisses against my temple. "You do okay today? Roxy treat you well?"

I nodded, letting my eyes drift closed. Honestly, I could fall asleep right here and not even care.

"Good," he said.

"You?" I mumbled.

"My day was okay. For the most part."

Pulling away from him, my brows knit together and I stared at his face, taking in the tired expression. "What were you up to today?"

His arms were still locked tightly around me, only shifting slightly down toward my hips when he ducked under the lip of the bunk above us and pulled me with him as he leaned back against the wall. We were kind of crunched in under there but it felt safe like that. Like we were in our own little pillow fort.

"I met with a friend today," he said, his hands squeezing my hips. "A lawyer friend."

My stomach dropped. "Jax..."

"I told her about your case. She's interested in it."

I sighed. "Well, she's going to get real uninterested pretty soon. There's nothing that can be done when I only have a few more years left."

Jackson brushed his hand along my jaw, a slight frown tugging down on his lips. "I know you think that, but three years is still a long time. Especially, when you shouldn't be serving any time at all."

I shrugged. I'd come to terms with my situation long ago. Wasting time lamenting about it would do nothing for either of us. "I get that, but that's how it works in the States. You get fucked and then you have to deal with it."

Jackson shook his head. "No. Not this time. We're going to do something about it."

"I appreciate your confidence, but?—"

"Baby, I looked through your file. You have a very strong case."

I froze in place.

My file?

He saw...

His hands tightened around me when I tried to lift myself off of him. "I'm not scared of it, Ayen. You did what you had to do. Reading over your case only solidified my opinion of that fact."

My eyes began to burn.

He was never supposed to see that.

My shame, my guilt.

The horrible things I'd had to talk about in court, only for them to get thrown out in the end for bullshit reasons that I still couldn't grapple with.

Jackson was supposed to remain ignorant to all of that. I'd given him the cliff notes version, the important highlights that were heavily filtered so that I could spare him the fucking gory details about what went on between Alex and I and the fallout afterward.

I knew, eventually, that my public record would be the fucking death of me, but I thought that would come three years from now when I was applying for a job as a busser at a seedy restaurant.

"Hey…" He cupped my face. "None of that."

His lips were soft against my cheek, kissing my tear away as it slipped from my eye.

"Why did you look," I choked out.

"Because I wanted to understand you and prove to you that what I said was real. I haven't changed my mind at all about you, baby."

"But—"

He made a negative sound in his throat, tightening the arm around my waist in order to crush me against his chest. He was gentle as he ran his fingers through my hair again, not at all caring when my tears made the front of his shirt wet.

"My friend said that she's bringing your case to her partners at the firm she works at. She's a fucking shark, so I know what she's going to do everything possible to get your case at least put in front of a new judge." His voice was soft as he spoke. "I'm getting you out of there, Ayen. I swear I will."

"What if you can't?" I had to force the words out of my mouth. "What... if nothing changes?"

He was quiet for a long time but his heartbeat remained steady under my ear.

"Then I'll wait."

So simple.

Just like that.

Like it was an easy decision to make.

Maybe it was.

Maybe this was what I was... what we were meant to be doing. For some reason, maybe a sign from the damn universe itself, this program had come to me at a time when I needed it most. I'd been brought here to meet this man who was now promising me a future, something that I never thought I'd have again.

He was showing me that there was more to life than letting my past ruin me.

I lifted my head and leaned forward to kiss him. "Stay with me tonight?"

He smiled against my lips. "I'd love to."