21. Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Nineteen

W ho knew Izzy had a romantic and loving thought in his head? Not Ulises. But he knew what he'd overheard. He leaned against the wall just out of sight in the hallway and listened, hoping for more, but all he heard was Izzy's boots as he walked away. Then Izzy opened and closed a door, probably going outside to breathe out all his romantic thoughts, since they were so foreign to him.

Ulises knew the house well. Izzy had gone out by the pool, which meant Todd was the only one in the kitchen. He'd come for a bottle of water. Failing was thirsty work. As much as he wanted to avoid Izzy and Todd, he also didn't want to die of dehydration and Seryn refused Ulises when he'd asked him to get it. Making him go was Seryn's way of sticking his nose into Ulises’ business. Ulises suspected he'd done that already. He should be annoyed with Seryn for his busybody ways, but he wasn't. Getting his own water was irritating though.

Ulises took a deep breath, held it for four seconds as though he were meditating, but he needed to shore up his courage to face Todd. He could always fall back on breathing exercises. At least that was what Seryn always said.

When he entered the kitchen, Todd stood with his back to a lump of some sort of dough. He crossed his arms over his chest as if he were pissed off.

Ulises made a beeline for the refrigerator.

It seemed Todd had been stuck in his thoughts because he whipped around and met Ulises gaze.

"He's in love with you." Todd put a hand over his mouth as if he hadn't meant to say that.

Ulises stopped midway into the kitchen and met Todd's gaze. If Todd had smacked him, he would have had less of a response. He didn't see it coming.

He had to take a minute to think.

"Ully?" The last person to call him that had been his mother.

Ulises came out of his surprise and started toward the refrigerator again. He grabbed a water and headed back the way he'd come. As he left, he said, "You don't need to be jealous. I think you're wrong but even if you aren't, I'm not his mate. Besides, he ended things between us. Nothing is going on and nothing will ever again."

"That's not why—"

Ulises left the room. He darted into the bathroom on the way to the training room. He set his water bottle on the sink before studying his reflection in the mirror.

"I almost regret it." Almost. The things he didn't regret about Izzy had nothing to do with the sex. It was about the tender moments they’d had together. The way Izzy always held him afterward and cleaned him up. The one time they hadn't had sex. Instead, they'd binge-watched a crime drama series on television.

A knock sounded.

Ulises turned on the water for the sink. "I'll be out in a minute."

"I need in there." Izzy. Sheesh. He had bad timing.

"Use another one." There were a million damn bathrooms in the house.

The door opened and Izzy entered. Of course he wouldn’t ask Ulises’ permission. The gods forbid Izzy used manners.

Before Izzy closed the door, he saw Todd leaning against the wall as if waiting for them. Izzy also didn't close it all the way. He'd left it ajar. Was that to let Todd know they wouldn't be up to anything sexual?

"We need to talk." Izzy took up so much space. He always seemed larger than the room he was in and some of it had to do with his size. He was tall like all dragon shifters and had wide shoulders. But his personality was larger than life. He was extroverted and outgoing. He had an easy smile except he hadn't had one for Ulises lately. Before when they were fucking, there had been a sparkle in his eyes. The attraction had been there, but over time it seemed to die out, as if Izzy had extinguished the flame.

And as they stood with their wills clashing as if they were jousting, the sparkle still wasn't there. But determination was present.

"You've said everything already? Why beat a dead horse?" Ulises shook his head when the tears threatened. He was so done with crying over Izzy. And why did it have to be in front of him. "I'm not going to get in the middle of your mating. I told Todd that."

Izzy took a step closer. "That's not the issue."

Ulises ripped off a piece of toilet paper and used it to wipe his face off. "Then what is? I haven't done or said anything to either of you. You're the one who won't leave me alone. Not the other way around."

Izzy pulled Ulises into his arms. Ulises stiffened, not giving in to the hug. The last thing he wanted was to fall into Izzy's little trap of affection again. "I know. I'd say I'm sorry but I'm not."

Ulises didn't know what to say. All the other boys Izzy had been with were either one-night stands or he hadn't cared if he broke their hearts. And Izzy always broke hearts. Ulises hadn't expected anything different. He had just hoped maybe Izzy would feel something for him. Maybe Ulises wouldn’t be like all the others. But it hadn’t been surprising when he wasn’t. But the last few days, with Izzy being so attentive, finding time to spend with Ulises as if he wanted to be in his presence had been. Ulises didn’t know what to do. It left him speechless. The only thing he could come up with was, "Please, just let me go."

Izzy released Ulises although that hadn't been what he'd meant. He held up his hands as if showing Ulises he wasn't armed with a weapon. What he didn't do was take a step back. "I made a mistake."

Here they went again on the same merry-go-round they'd been on before. This was where Izzy would tell Ulises that they shouldn't have fucked in the first place because it messed up the club dynamics. "You've said all this before. No need to rehash it."

Izzy growled but for some reason it turned into a chuckle. "Would you just listen? You always have something to say about everything, don't you?"

Ulises narrowed his eyes. "Yes. Now move out of my way. I'm late for training."

"I'm trying to tell you I still want to be with you. We want too, I mean."

Ulises didn't know if he wanted to hit or hug Izzy. He was still deciding when Todd came into the room. He stood behind Izzy, but Ulises still met his gaze. Todd smiled and nodded as if confirming Izzy's claim.

Ulises turned to Izzy again. "I don't want your pity. Either of you."

Of the two of them, he half expected Izzy to be the one to get all pissed off, but it was Todd who shoved his way further into the bathroom and got in Ulises’ face. "That was mean, Ully."

"But accurate. Or didn't he fill you in on my medical condition." Ulises didn't back down. He knew if he did, he'd lose some type of showdown, and he was already outnumbered.

"Not the particulars. But it doesn't matter to us." Todd turned to Izzy. "Tell him."

Izzy averted his gaze and didn't say anything.

Ulises shook his head. "That's what I thought."

Ulises tried to push past them, but Izzy grabbed him, hugging him again. Todd's arms came around him from behind. They sandwiched him in a hug Ulises didn't want. Okay, he did want it but he knew he shouldn't.

Izzy kissed the top of his head and must have kissed Todd too because he pressed Ulises into his chest a bit more than before as if he were leaning forward.

And then he whispered, "It kills me that you’re sick. I'd fucking take it from you and endure it myself if I could. And I…I don't want you to die, baby."

Die? Who said anything about dying?

Ulises wrapped one arm around Izzy and the other around Todd, holding onto them. "I won't. Not for a long time."

"Do you promise?"

If his tumor grew into his brain, he wouldn't be able to keep it. The threat of that had always been there. Living his whole life in the shadow of death made him comfortable with his own mortality. But it was clear Izzy wasn't.

Ulises cleared his throat and tried to pull away. "No. No, I can't."

Izzy cursed but tightened his hold. "I've got you, baby."

But he didn't. How could he when he struggled with his own demons.