20. Noah

20

NOAH

"I'm sorry, but your card was declined." The girl at the first drive-thru window at McDonald's gave me an uncomfortable look. It was the kind of uncomfortable that made me think she knew who I was. Which meant we probably went to the same school.

I cleared my throat, feeling awkward myself. "Are you sure?" I had checked the balance on my account yesterday. There should be at least thirty dollars left.

"I can try another card," the girl offered.

I tightened my grip on the steering wheel. "I don't have another card. Could you just try once more?"

The girl nodded before ducking back in to swipe my card again. How could my money have just disappeared from my account? I needed that money to get me through until at least Saturday. I had to eat somewhere, and from the way Mr. Stevens had reacted to finding me at his house, I doubted I'd be bumming food off them much more.

The girl came back, holding my card out to me. "It still wouldn't go through."

"Okay, thanks." Without meeting the girl’s gaze, I took the card back and tossed the useless thing onto the passenger seat. Then I rolled up my window and stared ahead at the car in front of me, wishing I could just drive straight through and hide my shame.

Had someone hacked into my account somehow and stolen my money?

The brake lights went off on the car ahead of me, having successfully gotten their food into their vehicle. I followed it out of the drive-thru, not bothering to stop at the second window since they wouldn't be giving me my order after all.

I drove down the next block and pulled along the curb to call my dad. Maybe he would know what had happened to my money.

He picked up after the third ring. "Hi, Noah." His deep voice came through my earpiece.

"Hey, Dad," I said, trying to figure out how to proceed. Our last conversation had ended with him accusing me of getting into drugs. "Um, do you know what happened to the money in my checking account? I had thirty dollars yesterday, but my card just got declined."

"Yes," he said. I could hear the chattering of my step-siblings in the background.

I waited for him to say more, but when he didn't, I asked, "Yes as in yes you know where my money is?"

I heard his chair scrape across the floor in the background, like he was standing from his nice warm dinner with his perfect little family. "I put a hold on your account and transferred the rest of your money out this morning."

"You what ?" I raised my voice.

"I noticed that your account went from about two-hundred fifty dollars to only thirty in less than a week. And the only reason I can think of for a high school student to blow that much money that fast is if they're up to something illegal."

"Are you serious right now?" I blinked my eyes in frustration.

"I told you to stay out of trouble, Noah. To not get into drugs. But since you can't seem to take responsibility for yourself, I had to take matters into my own hands."

Hot anger burst through me. "For the last time, Dad, I'm not doing drugs! I'm not getting into trouble anymore." I stopped getting into fights—aside from the ones Paul picked with my mom. I stopped making out with random girls. I had practically lived like a saint for the past two months .

He sighed loudly like he didn't believe me. "Then what is it, Noah? Why did you withdraw so much money this week?"

"Like I told you, I got kicked out for the week. Paul went on a stupid rampage and I'm the one being punished for it." My throat constricted with the emotions threatening to bubble over. "I had to go buy myself a freaking sleeping bag, so I could sleep in my car since I'm not good enough to stay with either of my parents. I withdrew the cash for my expenses, so you wouldn't know I was homeless!"

Tears sprang to my eyes, and I hated that I was getting emotional over this. I would not let my dad hear me cry like a baby. I'd cried the day he moved out and I had watched him drive off to his new life with his mistress. After that day, I promised I wouldn't show emotion in front of him ever again.

The line was silent for a moment. Then after about ten seconds, my dad's voice came through again, "Y-you're sleeping in your car?"

I bit down, already regretting telling him that much.

When I didn't respond, he said, "Noah?"

"Yes," I grunted.

"How can you be sleeping in your car?"

"Well, I park in the woods and just don't get out of it. Eventually, I fall asleep. "

"This is not something to joke about."

Oh, believe me, I knew that.

When I didn't say anything, he said, "You know what? Let me give your mom a call. Let me see if I can arrange for you to go home again tonight."

I rolled my eyes. Of course, when faced with the option of inviting me to stay in one of the spare bedrooms at his house, or push me onto someone else, he still chose to keep me away from his precious perfect children.

"Don't bother, Dad. I'm fine, really."

"Don't be like that, Noah. I'm trying to help."

" Dad, we have to go now, or I'll be late for my recital." I heard my step-sister, Paige, say in the background.

"Noah," my dad spoke again. "I need to go. But I'll call your mom and get you back home."

I leaned my head back against the headrest, fighting the wave of emotion threatening to topple over. Once again, my step-siblings came first. I was never going to be as important to my dad as they were. "Don't worry about me, Dad. I don't want you to be late for your recital."

And then I hung up and tossed my phone onto the seat beside me before he could say anything more.

I pulled onto the road again, driving back to the north woods. If I wasn't going to be getting any dinner tonight, I might as well go to sleep now. Then I'd swallow my pride in the morning and use some of the money in my school lunch account to buy myself breakfast. I could ignore the gnawing, empty feeling in my stomach until then.

The road to the campground hadn't been plowed since the recent snowstorm, so I ended up driving toward the school. Maybe I could park in the back lot and go unnoticed for the night.

I passed my house on the way and couldn't help but look in the windows as I drove by. The warm, yellow glow coming from inside would have me tricked into thinking it was a nice cozy environment if I didn't know any better. But I did know better. I just hoped my mom and Brielle were okay. Paul should have heard about his promotion by today.

I pulled my car into a corner spot at the back of the parking lot, popped my trunk, and grabbed my camping stuff. After shoving them in the backseat, I slammed the door shut, but it popped back open—I hadn't put my sleeping bags in far enough.

Stupid sleeping bags. I shoved them into the middle of the seat, my temper flaring as I did so. Then I slammed the door shut with much more power than it needed. Stupid car. Stupid everything.

I gripped the handle on the passenger side and swung the door wide open before stomping my feet on the ground to get the snow off. Then as I lowered myself into my seat—my bed for the night—I bumped my head, hitting the same spot I'd banged this morning in Lexi's closet. Stupid small car.

I'd been on the verge of tears since my conversation with my dad, but I couldn't fight them back any longer as the reality of another long, freezing night loomed ahead.

Tears clouded my vision as I pulled my wet shoes off and dropped them into the back.

My phone buzzed under my butt. I reached my hand around until I found it. I wiped the moisture out of my eyes, so I could see the screen. If it was my dad again...

But it wasn't. It was Lexi.

Lexi: Are you coming back tonight? I had my dad work on my window after dinner, using the excuse of it being dangerous in case of a fire.

I drew in one of those shuddering breaths that told me I'd been crying too hard as I punched in my response.

Noah: Your dad doesn't want me there. I don't want to get you in any more trouble than I already have.

Lexi: Don't worry about me.

My windshield was already covered in a thin sheet of snow.

Noah: I'll be fine .

I could survive this. Lots of people went to bed cold and hungry each night.

My phone started ringing, and Lexi's name popped up on the screen. I sighed then swiped my thumb across the screen to answer.

"I'll be fine, Lexi. I have two sleeping bags."

"Stop trying to be a tough guy, Noah." She apparently wasn't one to give up easily. "I already checked the weather and it's going to be really bad, worse than yesterday. Just come over. Please. I won't be able to relax tonight if you don't."

I looked out the window again, watching the big snowflakes come down fast and hard.

"Okay," I finally said.

"Okay?" The relief in her voice made me feel a little warmer inside.

"Yes, I'll come. Just don't blame me if your dad finds out and grounds you for the rest of eternity."

"He won't find out."

I parked at the end of her street ten minutes later and filled my backpack with a change of clothes and everything I'd need to keep me until the next morning.

Then I headed down the sidewalk to her house, sneaking down her side-yard like I had last night .

I texted Lexi to tell her that I was there, and she appeared at her bedroom window a moment later. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail and it looked like she was already wearing her pajamas—a gray tank top and sweatpants. Had she pretended to go to bed already just for me? It was just barely after eight o'clock.

I grabbed the old bucket that I'd seen sitting against the tree last night, turned it on its lip and used it to help myself through Lexi's window.

It was a tight fit, so I had to fall forward to get myself the rest of the way in, but once I was inside her warm bedroom, Lexi shut the window.

"My dad is still in the living room watching TV," she whispered.

I nodded, brushing the snow off myself as I stood. "Thank you for sneaking me in again."

She shrugged. "It's no problem." Then she turned to walk away.

I gripped her arm and dipped my head down to really look her in the eyes. "I know what you're risking, so don't say it's no problem. I was there to see your dad's reaction this afternoon."

She looked to the side, clearly uncomfortable on the subject of her dad. How bad had that conversation been, anyway?

"My dad is overprotective. We aren't doing anything wrong." She met my gaze again. "If I get grounded for keeping you out of the cold, it's worth it."

She sat on her bed and watched me as I took off my backpack and then my letterman jacket. I felt uncomfortable under her scrutiny, but I tried to ignore it. What did she see in me? In her mind, was I still just her brother's annoying best friend, or could she possibly see me as something more?

When I met her eyes, she looked away before I could figure her out.

She cleared her throat. "So what restaurant did you hit up tonight?"

"McDonald's." I sat in the chair at her desk.

She squinted. "I never would have pegged you for a McDonald's kind of guy."

I shifted in my chair. "When you eat out as often as I do, you gotta try everything."

"So what did you get tonight?"

"I ordered chicken nuggets. And to try and be a little healthier, I added a side salad in there, too."

She pulled one leg on the bed and set it under herself. "Their chicken nuggets are the best. My dad made this weird Asian dish that one of his coworkers told him about."

"And I'm guessing it wasn't a new family favorite?" I asked.

She shook her head. "Definitely not. I could really go for some chicken nuggets, though. Maybe I should take this whole rebellious daughter thing to an extreme and sneak out to get some."

I laughed. "Yeah, I'm sure the ones I ordered would have tasted good."

"Wait, would have tasted good? Didn't you get some?" She gave me a confused look.

I realized my mistake and looked around awkwardly. "I didn't actually get to try them. My card was declined."

Her eyebrows raised. "It was declined? So you didn’t eat any dinner?"

I shrugged. "No. But I had a pretty good lunch, so I should be okay."

She stood right up from her bed. "I'm not about to let you starve, Noah. Just tell me when you don't get food. I can get you some."

"But you said yourself that your dinner was gross. I figured I wasn't missing out on much."

"I can find something else. It's not like that's the only thing we have to eat in the house." She gave me a scolding look and headed for the door. "You should've said something, Noah. I'll be right back."

I stood and grabbed her hand to stop her. "You really don't have to. I'm fine."

She looked back at me meaningfully. "It's really no problem, Noah. It’s not like my dad guards the fridge or takes a count of exactly how much leftover food there is. I mean, we usually have you and Easton eating us out of house and home, so it really isn't going to be that big of a deal."

I nodded and released her hand, feeling a wave of emotion coming over me. I didn't deserve this. She was being too good to me. "Thank you."

She opened the door slowly, peeked her head out to make sure no one was watching, and then left. She was back five minutes later with a sandwich.

She shut the door behind her before handing me the plate. "I wasn't sure which kind of sandwich you liked, so I just made ham and cheese. I hope that's okay."

"This is great. Thank you again, Lexi, you're kind of like my guardian angel right now."

She shook her head and waved me away. "I'm just being a good fake girlfriend."

I smiled. "Pretty much the best fake girlfriend ever."

She looked down, and there was something in her expression that made me wonder if I'd said something wrong. I'd only repeated what she'd said about the fake boyfriend/girlfriend thing.

But after today and everything that had happened—the kiss, me telling her about my family, getting caught by her dad, her taking care of me again—it really didn't seem like it was fake anymore. If it was, I should be going to Easton for all of this stuff. He was the one I was really supposed to be friends with.

But maybe that was just it. Maybe Lexi had moved up higher in level of importance in my life.

And if that was true, I needed to find a way to let her know that this wasn't pretend to me anymore. This was real. And I wanted it to be real for her, too.

I just hoped I wouldn't scare her off while I tried to figure this out.