15. Lexi

15

LEXI

I breathed a sigh of relief once Noah and I were on our way to school. We had done it. We'd successfully made it through the night without Easton or my dad suspecting anything was going on.

Maybe, just maybe, trying it again tonight wasn't such a terrible idea.

"How did you sleep, anyway?" I asked as he turned down the road just off my street.

He shrugged. "Surprisingly really good. I thought I'd be awake all night since that has become kind of my thing this week, but I slept like a baby."

"You do realize that phrase 'sleeping like a baby' is a total lie, right?"

He glanced away from the road briefly to give me a confused expression. "What do you mean? Don't babies sleep through everything?"

"Grant didn't." No, my little nephew was a downright terrible sleeper from the time my sister brought him home from the hospital. "Now every time I hear someone say that phrase, I take it to mean that they’re saying they woke up every two hours to eat, and then cried the other half of the night. Babies are not a good example of someone who sleeps soundly at all."

He laughed. "Duly noted." He looked at me and winked. "I promise to never use that phrase so carelessly in the future."

I couldn't help but smile back. Noah didn't always smile, but when he did it was contagious.

"So how is it having Maddie and Grant out of the house now?"

"It's a lot quieter for sure. Grant had so much energy. I miss them a lot, but I'm really happy that she and Jaxon finally worked things out. It's good for Grant to have both parents." My sister and her high school boyfriend had a rocky relationship for years, being too young to be thrust into parenthood and an adult relationship. My dad's attitude toward Jaxon, the guy who had impregnated his teenage daughter, hadn't helped either. But Maddie had been able to stay at home her first year of college and our family had been able to help her out a lot with Grant. She'd gotten her feet under her and now things were really looking good for them.

"I hope things are better for them now that they're on their own. I know from experience that your homelife can affect you in more ways than you like."

I couldn't help but wonder what exactly was going on with him and his family. You didn't just sleep in your car instead of your bedroom for nothing.

But I didn't ask him. If he was willing to talk about it, it seemed like it would be a pretty long conversation and we were almost to the school.

We pulled into the parking lot a minute later. Noah parked and then hurried over to my side of the car to open the door. As I got out, he took my hand and we walked into the school together. I had been scared to death to hold his hand after the game on Tuesday, just two days ago, but now it seemed like the most natural thing in the world. And I kind of wanted it to never stop.

I was in a happy daze the rest of the morning. Everything seemed to be going so well in my life now. Things at home were good and calm. My grades were pretty good. And for once, I didn't feel like an outcast at school. I had spent the first few months of the year just trying to get Harrison to notice me, but now that I was fake-dating Noah, I kind of didn't really care if he ever did.

I knew in the back of my mind that this was probably not the smartest way to feel right now since it was fake after all, but I would just let myself live in the contented bliss of not having to work so hard to fit in for a while.

"You and Noah seem to be enjoying having your relationship out in the open now." Raven sidled up to me on my way to the cafeteria for lunch.

I forced a smile and tried to ignore her jealous tone. "Yeah, it's been really nice not having to sneak around anymore."

I almost laughed when I realized exactly how big of a lie those words were. After last night, we'd been sneaking around more than ever.

"I've noticed you've been coming to school with him. And his car always seems to be parked on your street."

I nodded. "Yeah." But he'd been coming to my house a lot before anyway, because of Easton.

"I couldn't help but notice he was at your house really late when I drove by last night." She looked down at my left hand—not so discreetly—and eyed my promise ring. "He's a pretty good kisser, isn't he?"

Why was she looking at me like that? And was she trying to hint that I shouldn't be wearing my ring anymore? My face paled. Did Raven know that he'd slept at my house last night ?

I laughed, hoping to dispel my anxiety. "Yeah, he's a good kisser."

She raised her eyebrows. "Those big pouty lips of his aren't just for talking."

I furrowed my brow, wondering if she was trying to say something else. Girls like Raven always had some sort of secret agenda when they talked. Was this a test to find out if I had really kissed Noah? Had she somehow found out that I wasn't really Noah's girlfriend?

"It is interesting though..." she said when I didn't say anything.

"What's interesting?" I knew it was stupid for me to jump on the bait she was giving me, but I couldn't help it.

She lifted her shoulder in the way all the mean girls do in movies—when they're trying to look like they aren't being conniving little witches when that's exactly what they were doing. "I guess I'm used to seeing Noah constantly kissing his girlfriends, and it's hard not to wonder why he's not doing that with you."

I knew I shouldn't have taken her bait.

I looked around anxiously, wishing someone would jump in and save me from this conversation. But of course, everyone was minding their business for the first time as they walked down the hall.

So I did something that I could only blame on desperation.

I looked at Raven with as much confidence as I could muster. "We haven't been kissing in public because Noah kind of thought you might have a crush on him, and he didn't want to make you feel bad when you saw it."

"He what?" Finally, it was her turn to be the most uncomfortable person in this conversation.

I nodded, not having to fake my confidence quite as much now. "I think he felt sorry for you." I shrugged and broadened my smile. "But I'm actually really happy that you brought it up. Because you have no idea how hard it has been to see those soft lips of his at school and not just kiss him in front of everyone."

She didn't say anything, just pressed her lips together and stared straight ahead.

We were almost to the cafeteria now, and I needed to make sure I came out of this conversation swinging.

"So can I tell Noah that you don't mind?" I waited for her reaction.

The corners of her mouth slowly turned up into what I could only describe as a smile-grimace. "Of course you can tell him. Don't let me stop you."

In the cafeteria, my gaze immediately zeroed in on Noah who was already sitting at our table. It was amazing how instantly my senses were able to find him now. Like I had some sort of Noah tracker in my brain.

Before we could reach him, I turned to Raven. "Thank you so much for chatting with me. I can't wait to tell Noah. "

I scooted my seat closer to Noah, my palms getting all sweaty. I wiped them on my pants, trying to get them less clammy in case Noah decided to hold hands again.

"I need to talk to you," I whispered. "Something came up with Raven."

Noah glanced at Raven who was setting her purse down and taking her seat.

"Private conversation or public?"

"Private."

"Okay, come with me." Noah tugged on my hand and pulled me out of the room. I only caught a slight glimpse of Raven's reaction, but I hoped she assumed we were sneaking away to make-out.

Noah pulled me through the cafeteria's back exit, down the hall, and then to the stairs that led to the gym.

"Is this private enough?" He stopped us about halfway down the stairs.

"Yeah."

"So what did you need to talk about? Does Raven know that I slept at your house last night?"

I covered his mouth with my hand and quickly looked around. "Shh. Don't say that here."

"I thought this was private enough."

I shook my head. I didn’t think there was a place secluded enough for us to start talking about that . I could still barely believe it was real. An image of us standing in my closet, so close with his hand caressing my arm, came to mind.

I blinked my eyes to get the memory out of my head, telling myself that it hadn’t been a romantic moment. He'd just seen something in my glasses after he'd kept me from falling over like a klutzy fool.

I drew in a deep breath and stared into his dark eyes. "Do you still want to continue this fake-relationship thing?"

A worried crease formed on his brow. "Why do you ask?

"Raven was asking me questions today, and I'm thinking she might be onto us."

He leaned in closer. "What kind of questions?"

"Um..." I tried to remember, but the way he was looking at me made it hard for my brain to form coherent thoughts. I had to look at my hands, unable to return his intense gaze. "She asked me why we never kiss in public." I blew out a long breath and adjusted my glasses. "She said you've never had a problem with PDA before, and so something must be off with the way you feel about me."

He scrubbed a hand over his face. "She really is paying attention, isn't she?"

I nodded. "So what are we going to do about it?" I dared to look at him, anxious for his answer.

"Do you think we need to do something about it?" His voice was more gravelly than usual, and my mind had a really, really hard time not thinking about how it sounded super sexy.

I was not supposed to think that way about Noah anymore. I had gotten over my crush a long time ago. Noah was out of my league. A non-option, unless we were just pretending.

But I couldn't bring myself to say no. Because deep down, I still wanted Noah Taylor. "I don't know. Maybe?"

"Maybe?"

Couldn't he just make the decision for us, so I didn't have to give away that I might still have feelings for him?

But him letting me have a say was kind of sweet in its own way. Could it be possible that he might want something to happen, too?

I cleared my throat and tried to appear much more level-headed than I felt. "I guess we have two options. If we want to keep this going, we'll have to ramp everything up. But if not, we'll need to stage a break-up soon."

Please don't pick the second option.

There was a gentleness in his eyes that I wasn't used to seeing. He seemed to be forming his thoughts carefully. "I'm not ready to break up with you. I don't want to stop this yet."

He didn't? Hope blossomed in my chest and I sagged with relief. I shouldn't want to keep dating him like this, because it wasn't real. But spending so much time with him was becoming addicting .

"I don't want to stop it either," I admitted.

"Which leaves us only one other option," he said.

"And what's that?"

"We might have to break those rules we set in the beginning. If we want this to be believable, I'm probably going to have to start kissing you."

My heart jolted to a stop. "Kissing?" I couldn't keep my voice from raising an octave. I knew that was why I'd started this conversation in the first place, but having him actually say it caused butterflies to flap uncontrollably in my stomach

"I think that's what we'll need to convince Raven." He reached over and took my hand in his.

"There's just one problem with that." I had never kissed a guy. And if I was going to kiss Noah, something I had daydreamed about a thousand times, I didn't want to mess it up. Especially not with an audience.

He squeezed my hand and studied my expression. "What is it?" he asked, like he was worried I wouldn't want to kiss him.

"Remember how I've never been on a real date before?"

He nodded slowly. "Yeah."

My stomach turned with nerves. This was so humiliating. Why did I have to keep having these kinds of vulnerable moments with Noah?

His fingers were drawing circles on the back of my hand. I wished I could just focus on how incredible that felt instead of what I had to say to him. "I-it's probably really obvious, but I've never kissed a guy before, and I don't want to look stupid doing it in front of other people. We've been letting them think that we're constantly making out. It can't look like I've never kissed you before." I said the words as fast as I could, hoping that the quicker I got them out, the less stupid they'd sound.

He didn't say anything immediately. Maybe I'd stunned him into silence with a new level of social-ineptness that had never been before reached by humankind.

My heart pounded wildly in my chest.

But then he finally spoke. "I guess we could practice first." He peeked at me through his lashes. "If you wanted."

"Practice?" I searched his face for a hint that he was kidding. But he looked totally serious.

He shrugged. "Sure. You said you don't want it to look like we've never kissed before, so we can just practice first, and the problem will be solved."

Well, when he said it like that...it still sounded crazy.

Then he stood and helped me up beside him.

"Oh, are you thinking we should practice right now?" I asked.

"Yeah."

"Right here?" I squeaked.

"Follow me." He took my hand and led me down the stairs to the gym. The bleachers were already rolled out for the assembly that we'd be having later this afternoon.

He pulled me under the bleachers.

"Just watch your step," he said, as we went farther under. I watched his shoulders as I followed behind him. And then he suddenly stopped, and I bumped right into his back.

"Sorry!" I jumped back.

"Don't be." He turned and leaned one shoulder against the brick wall. I decided to follow suit and pressed my back against the wall. I needed it for stability anyway, since my legs were so wobbly.

We just stood there staring at each other, his towering frame hovering inches from mine.

When he didn't do anything, I spoke with a shaky voice, "We should probably hurry so we still have time for lunch."

He nodded. "Okay."

"Okay." I sighed, hoping he'd just go for it.

He stepped in front of me, placing one hand on the wall near my head to brace himself as he leaned closer. I suddenly had an understanding of how powerful "leaning" really was. Maddie's favorite movie, While You Were Sleeping, totally nailed it. Noah was a giant compared to me, but I loved how it felt to feel so petite next to him. He was powerful and strong. He'd make an awesome protector if I ever needed one .

He ducked his head closer. "You sure you want to do this?" He was giving me one last chance to back out.

My heart was beating out of control, and I was pretty sure I was on the verge of melting as I returned his hot stare.

"Yes," I whispered. I wanted this. I wanted him to kiss me. And it definitely wasn't because I cared about keeping up a fake relationship anymore.

He ran a thumb over my cheek. "You know Easton will kill me if he finds out about this."

I swallowed. He probably would. "We can break up if you don't want to do this."

"Do you think that's best?"

"Do you?"

He shook his head and spoke in a husky voice, "I don't want to think right now." And then Noah closed the distance between our lips.

I gasped, caught off guard. But his hand cupped my neck, steadying me and pulling me closer as he coaxed my lips to move slowly with his. I had no idea what I was doing. I'd never done this before. But for some reason, my inexperience didn't seem to be an issue as Noah gently brushed his lips across mine once…twice. Then again and again.

He kissed me gently, like he actually cared and wanted to make my first kiss a good experience. I'd always assumed he was more of the go-for-the-gold, kiss-without- abandon kind of guy. But instead of attacking me with his lips and making me feel way out of my element, just trying to catch up, he kissed me as if I was fragile and he didn't want to break me. It made me feel unbelievably special. Noah knew what he was doing, and the slowness of the kiss made my stomach twist and shake with pleasure I'd never felt before.

I could barely draw in a decent breath as his warm lips caused crackles of electricity that sparked mine to life in a brand-new way. I'd had my lips for sixteen years, but until this moment I had no idea how many nerve endings they had or how sensitive to his touch they could be. And I never wanted this practice kiss to stop. It felt much too good to be so close to Noah with his lips capturing mine between his.

Feeling a little braver, I let my hands trace their way up his arms to rest behind his neck. He was so tall that he was almost bent in half to kiss me. I raised myself up on my toes to help him out, and he reacted by pulling me closer and wrapping his arms around me.

"You sure you've never kissed before?" he asked, breaking the lock his soft lips had on mine.

"Pretty sure this is my first time." I sighed, trying to catch my breath, but it was coming in short little bursts. "Do you think everyone will buy this then?" I asked. I really hoped so, though I wouldn't mind practicing for a few minutes more .

"Pretty sure you're a natural." His breathing was more uneven than usual. Could he possibly have enjoyed that kiss as much as I did?

"T-that's a relief."

He rubbed his hands along my back, making it really hard for me to think. "So do you feel that was enough practice before we make our kissing debut?"

The thought of kissing in public scared the crap out of me. But maybe with Noah taking the lead, it wouldn't be so bad.

His eyes dipped down to where I was nervously biting my bottom lip. Then his gaze met mine. "Maybe just a few more minutes?"

I nodded. "Just to make sure."

But before he could close the distance between us again, Ashlyn Brooks and Luke Davenport—of all people—appeared at the opening under the bleachers.

Just let me die, please.

Noah immediately straightened, standing to his full height. I pushed myself away from him at the same time, feeling my cheeks burn with embarrassment over getting caught by Noah's ex and her new boyfriend.

It took them a few seconds, but they soon noticed us, too.

"Sorry, we didn't realize this was your spot," Luke said. "Mr. Sawyer locked the Chem lab today. "

Okay, I did not need to know where those two usually made out. It was so weird.

"It's okay. We were just leaving." Noah's jaw flexed as he took my hand and led me out from under the bleachers. I kept my eyes trained on my feet, partly so I wouldn't trip on anything and partly because I was too embarrassed to meet Ashlyn and Luke's gazes. What would Ashlyn think of her ex-boyfriend kissing a lowly sophomore under the bleachers?

I hoped she was too infatuated with her new boyfriend to really care much about it.

And I hoped Noah was over Ashlyn enough not to care about being caught, either. I didn't want him to be embarrassed by me.

Ashlyn and Luke moved aside so we could get past them. "It's all yours." Noah's voice was more gruff than usual.

"Thanks," Ashlyn said, without any hint of awkwardness in her voice. "And I've been meaning to tell you all week, but I think it's so cute that you two got together."