Chapter 39

“Wis!” I embrace my cousin warmly. It’s been a few years since we were last together. Far too long.

“You’re looking well, Con.” He holds me at arm’s length, scrutinising me carefully. “Remarkably well.” I almost blush under his gaze and quickly introduce him to Florencio and Rafe.

“You look very alike,” Florencio remarks, and it’s true.

“We’ve been taken for brothers many times,” Luis says. He’s like a brother to me, the nearest I have anyway. He’s also my closest friend and was best man at my wedding.

“You’re an Otero then?” Rafe enquires, his face twisting in embarrassment.

“I am. My grandfather owns the Otero vineyards, but I wanted to set up on my own.” Then, in an aside to me. “How does he know, and why does he look like that?”

I laugh. “He’s wondering if he should be apologising to you. He once researched our family for a book, and apparently he didn’t portray them in a favourable light.”

“Then I’m sure it was accurate.” Luis laughs with me, and puts an arm around Rafe’s shoulder, drawing him away. “I can tell you some dark and dirty secrets about our family I’m sure you didn’t uncover.”

“No, it’s fine,” he says, sounding relieved. “Unless, of course, you want to tell them.”

“Why Wis?” Florencio asks as we follow behind where Luis is leading Rafe towards the guest cottage.

“Luis is two years younger than me, and when he was born I couldn’t say Luis, I could only say Wis. Of course it stuck, so he’s always been Wis to me.”

Luis opens the door to the lovely stone cottage that sits separate from the main house on the vineyard. Both have amazing views, not only of the vineyard, but across the valley. We’re quite high up the mountain, in the Navarre region, just across from Rioja and less than ten kilometres from the start of my grandfather’s extensive vineyards. Not that I’ll be going to visit him anytime soon.

“Well, here you are.” He gestures to the rustic decor of the small house, and Florencio and Rafe look around the large open-plan living area, kitchen space, and a wooden staircase leading to a mezzanine bedroom. “I’m sorry, there’s only one bed,” he calls while giving me a shit-eating grin.

“I’m sure we’ll manage somehow,” Florencio calls back, and Luis chuckles.

“I’ll leave you to it. Dinner is in the house at nine.” He walks back past me where I’m still standing by the door, giving me a pat on the chest. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” I roll my eyes, and as he walks the path to the main house, I hear him mutter, “Lucky bastard.” I’ve never known my cousin to have a relationship, well, not one that lasted long enough for me to meet them, which I find sad as he has so much love to give.

“Con, have you seen this shower?” Florencio leans over the railing of the bedroom, bringing my attention back to the present. Of course I’ve seen it. I’ve stayed here many times, and I might have had one or two nice fantasies about the guys and that shower since I arranged the trip with my cousin. But I let them show me anyway, feeling their excitement.

“So, what stories can you tell us about Con?” Florencio asks over dinner. “He hasn’t told us much at all.”

There’s not a lot to tell, and I’m trying not to dwell on the past right now.

“So he hasn’t told you how he broke his collarbone then?” Luis puts down his napkin and picks up his wine.

“No,” Rafe says. “He’s been very quiet about it.”

“That’s no surprise, seeing as he was being an arrogant show-off.”

“ Nooooo !” Florencio drags out the word and Luis leans forward, completely hooked by Florencio’s charm.

I sit back and roll my eyes at Luis, but there’s not a chance he won’t tell his favourite story about me.

“My father always visited his sister in the holidays, so I spent my summers in Gran Canaria with Con. This particular year, when we were about ten... Well, I was. Con was twelve, and he thought he was so much more mature than me. He was grown up and a man now. There’s a secluded beach on the north of the island and he said he could jump off the largest rock and onto the beach. He said he was old enough, being the man that he was. He made a big show of it, how I was too young to try it, and he was going to be fine. Needless to say, he jumped, landed, tried to roll, and broke his collarbone. I’m sure he felt like a man when he had to ride his bike one-handed all the way home and tell our parents what happened.”

Yes, I remember the telling off I received, not only from my parents for being stupid enough to do it, but also from my aunt and uncle for leading Luis astray. No one seemed to care that it hurt like hell. Eventually, I got it checked out and had to wear my arm in a sling for the rest of the holiday while it set.

The next day, after a luxurious night in the one bed , we discover just how much fun can be had in the enormous shower. A three-way frot is possible if you have large hands, as I do, and use them both. Though I’m sure my arse cheeks will bear the marks of their nails for a long time. As if there wasn’t anything else for them to hold on to. But I don’t mind, and rather like the reminder every time I take a step or sit down.

After a hearty breakfast, we’re treated to a full tour of the vineyard and an extensive wine tasting. Luis shows us the latest batches that are ready to be drunk, and we insist on finishing the opened bottles over that evening’s dinner when we’re joined by Luis’s friend Jiordi. I’ve only met him a few times, though I know he and Luis have been friends for years. By the time I’ve dug up some stories of Luis and he’s told some outrageous ones of our family—Jiordi joining in with a few as his father works with my uncle over at the Otero estate— we’re all fit for nothing but climbing exhausted into bed and sleeping soundly.

On the last morning, I walk with my cousin and tell him all about the bar, how the repairs are going, and the reopening plans once the final decorating has been completed over the next week. Rafe and Florencio are ahead of us, holding hands, talking, and occasionally laughing. More than once, I catch Luis looking at them.

They stop, and Florencio pushes a strand of hair away from Rafe’s face. Rafe says something, and Florencio brings their clasped hands to his lips and kisses Rafe’s knuckles before they continue walking.

“I wonder what it’s like,” Luis sighs wistfully. “To be young and so in love.”

His words hit me like a sledgehammer, cracking the shell I’d constructed around us wide open. The illusion I’d formed while we’d been together, effectively cut off from the rest of the world. The one that let me believe I could be a part of their life. Now it lies broken round my feet, and I feel like an old fool. Who was I kidding? They’re perfect together, just as they are. They have no need of me, and I was na?ve to think so. I should’ve known better at my age. I said love could never happen twice, and for a while there I believed I might be wrong, but no, I was correct all along. I just wasn’t following my own advice.

My skin prickles all over, and I want to pull it off like an itchy sweater, but I can’t. I feel on edge and give Luis a terse goodbye. He frowns and asks if I’m all right. I’m not, but I don’t tell him that. I’m sure I will be fine in time, when I’ve forgiven myself for making such a huge mistake. We’re all quiet as we drive back to the city, which is fine as it saves me having to say anything just yet, but I know I will have to when we reach the house. I can’t stay there anymore. The bar is habitable now, so I can move back. I should have done so already, really. I’ve not given it enough attention, but I will do so from now, without the distractions I had no right to get involved in. What was I thinking, letting myself get swept away in the magic? I’m too old for that.

When we get back to the house, we climb out of the car. Florencio and Rafe go to enter, but I stay by the car. They turn back.

“Aren’t you coming in?” Florencio asks.

I shake my head, all my carefully rehearsed words flying out of my head.

“I’m going back to the bar. I’m going to stay there tonight, and from now on.”

“Of course, you have a lot to do,” Rafe says, and I close the ache in my heart at his willingness to understand, to give me that leeway.

“No, I won’t be coming back. He was right. You are perfect together. You don’t need me.”

I don’t wait for a response. I don’t want to hear their answer to that. I know if I look back, I might just crumble, so this is for the best. They deserve to love each other without me getting in the way and complicating things. I get back in the car and drive away, back to my bar, back to the only thing I truly have.