Chapter Eleven

Lance

"Where are you going?" The woman's question purred in my ear as I replayed the memory. "We haven't even had any real fun yet."

I remembered picking my shirt up from the floor of her bedroom and putting it over my head, sighing as I did. "I have to get up early in the morning," I lied.

The truth was, I wasn't in the mood, hadn't been for weeks now. I was getting sick of the meaningless sex, which was why I left her place and didn't look back.

What was the matter with me? I raked a hand through my hair as I sat with my legs extended and my hands behind my back on the warm sandy beach at the resort.

It was peaceful this early in the morning, and I often enjoyed coming down here to watch the sunrise. Mason stayed at Tyler's last night anyway, so I could have my own sleepover. Which was the only reason I was able to get to work this early and watch the first few rays of sun creep up in the sky. Mason didn't like getting up before seven, so he certainly would've had a tantrum if I woke him at six to get here in time to watch the sunrise. One day I'd share this moment with my son, but that day was not today.

I looked out and studied the golden globe as it rose. Wisps of orange and pink where coloring the sky and I knew it'd be a hot one today. Still, it was so beautiful and I relished the silence that surrounded me. It was rare that I could sit alone and hear my own thoughts, so anytime that happened I made sure to close my eyes and enjoy it more so.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?"

Without turning around, I knew who that voice belonged to. It was soft and smooth, and still to this day, sounded angelic to my ears. That was, when she wasn't nervous and her voice broke as she spoke.

When we bumped into each other, Gemma seemed more nervous than she ever was around me. I supposed that was due to the nature of it, though. After all, it probably wasn't ideal to run into the man who'd once seen her naked.

For me, it was like when I saw her no time at all had passed and we were back together, spending every waking moment being with one another, taking strolls on the beach, and sharing stories about our past.

I turned around at the sound of Gemma's voice and smiled when I was indeed right and it was her standing there, looking more breathtaking than ever. Her hair was lying loose down her back, her face was makeup-free, and she wore a dress that left little to the imagination with its sheer fabric. It was long, passing her knees, but she never needed to wear skimpy clothes for her to look like a smoke show. She was naturally sexy to me.

I didn't know why I was even going there, though. It wasn't like it would change anything. I knew what we had was only a moment in time and it was never meant to be anything more. We both knew when our time was up, we had to face reality. Gemma was better at that than I was, though. She knew she was only meant to be here for a short while and stuck to that. Made sure we never forgot that she had her life to get back to and I had my life here with my son, my friends, and my job.

But it was more than a passionate affair. She meant more to me, and I wished she knew just how much it meant to me to be with her.

None of that mattered, though, because our paths were only meant to cross briefly, never to lead to each other.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, ignoring her question and asking one of my own.

"I could ask you the same," she replied, softly. "You know, we used to come down here often enough and watch the sunrise together." She blushed, clearly remembering the moments we shared when no one was around.

"We wore a lot less clothes, I remember." I winked at her, thinking about the little string bikinis I convinced her to wear for me.

She pulled a blanket out of her bag and placed it down before putting her bag on the sand and then sitting on the blanket in the ultimate Gemma move—neat and proper.

I chuckled.

"What?" She eyed me, her expression filled with curiosity. "What's funny?"

I shook my head. "I'm just glad some things about you don't seem to have changed. It's nice."

"You're talking about the blanket?" She waited, looking down at it as I nodded. "Well, I did know I was coming down to the beach and I don't have an urge to be taking sand out of my butt." She stayed turned to me and sighed. "It seems there's no avoiding you, by the way."

I feigned hurt and held a hand to my chest. "Ouch." I frowned. "You know, that hurts."

She rolled her eyes. "Oh, come on, Lance. You mean to tell me you like these little run-ins we're having again."

Honestly? Yeah, I did. I shrugged my shoulders, though, knowing I wasn't going to very well tell her that. "I don't hate them as much as you do, apparently."

"I don't hate them," she clarified, clearing her throat. "I just," she started and then paused. "I don't know." She shook her head and immediately looked away, muttering something to herself.

I chuckled again. "I remember when we first met and all the little run-ins we kept having back then."

Her head practically snapped back to me and she fixed the way she was sitting on the blanket before responding, addressing the one thing I didn't dare to bring up. "That was a long time ago, Lance." She licked her lips. "Out of all the places my sister could have her bachelorette party, she had to pick here, this resort."

I shrugged. "It's a nice place."

She clicked her tongue and rolled her eyes again. "Thanks. I think I know how nice this place is. It's just no one thinks they're going to run into the man they slept with years ago."

"Nor do they want to," I added, knowing she was thinking it.

She nodded gently. "I hoped you would've moved on."

I put my arms around my knees and sat up straighter, the stab right through my gut killing me. "Ouch again."

She turned and looked at me. "I'm sure you're not happy about seeing me again. Are you seeing someone?"

I tilted my head. "What makes you ask that?"

"Just curious," she let her words fall off. "You don't even have to answer it, though, for me to know that you are. Seeing someone, that is." She went on, "There's no way a man like you is still single."

I knew Gemma well enough to know that the idea of me having a girlfriend was making her stomach churn. I could tell by the way her hand flew to her mouth and she looked away for a moment before I responded.

"You'd be surprised," I said, nudging her with the side of my arm. Then I decided it needed to be made crystal clear. "I'm not seeing anyone."

Her eyes widened. "Oh," she breathed and that one word, that one syllable conveyed so much. She brought her hands to her hair and began fussing with it, nervously. "Well, I'm single, too. But that's by choice. I have guys lined up back home just, um, waiting for me to—" She cut herself off, her eyes falling to my lips.

I watched as she licked hers before slightly parting them and letting out a sigh. I wasn't about to make this easy on her, though, so I stayed quiet.

"I didn't think I'd see you again," she finally said, giving up the whole pretense of having men lined up. Not that I couldn't believe it, because I could, but I knew Gemma. She wasn't the type to keep men on the hook.

I leaned in and looked from her eyes to her lips, as though looking for her to give me the thumbs up, to tell me that this was what she wanted to happen. I looked back up at her eyes. "We already established that."

She closed her eyes and leaned in further, but I could tell she was uneasy, like as badly as she wanted me to kiss her, she also wished I wouldn't. And it would only make things more difficult and complicated. We didn't need that.

So I did what was right for both of us, even if she couldn't see it now, and backed up. I cleared my throat, so she didn't feel silly and pointed to the sky when she opened her eyes back up. "The sunrise is nice, isn't it?" I gave her a reassuring smile.

Her gaze turned forward as she exhaled. Not turning to look at me, she announced, "I still have the jar full of sand." She smiled, clearly remembering the time we collected sand from this beach with fondness.

I couldn't help but notice how happy she looked in this moment, how carefree, and beautiful she was. My favorite thing was making her feel at ease, like she didn't have to be wound so tight twenty-four-seven. She once told me she had so many responsibilities and people depending on her back home that letting herself relax was something she couldn't afford. I loved that she felt she could be that way around me once upon a time.

"I still have the sea glass," I confessed, shocking even myself that I said the words aloud.

"What?" She searched my eyes before closing her own. "I'm usually not this sentimental, I certainly didn't think you were."

"Yes, you are," I argued. "If you weren't, you wouldn't have entertained the idea in the first place."

I looked out at the water and let the memory wash over me.

She giggled, kicking the water and sand up at me with her feet. I looked down at the wet sand that now covered my calves and ran to her, scooping her up in my arms, and spinning her around.

When I finally put her down and she stopped laughing, she walked over to where something was shimmering in the morning light. "Sea glass," I noted.

She looked back at me before bending down and picking it up. "It's so beautiful," she cooed. "I don't think I've ever seen anything this gorgeous before."

"I know I have," I replied, observing how happy finding sea glass made her.

She rolled her eyes and swatted my arm as I came closer. "I'm serious." She handed it to me. "Look how pretty."

I held it in my hand. She was right, it was beautiful. This one was blue-green and shined so bright. "The ocean is full of surprises," I said.

She sighed. "They come from broken glasses, right?"

"Sure, or even shipwrecks. It tumbles around in the ocean for a while, which is why the edges aren't as sharp, and then finally it washes ashore, where people like you find it in the sand."

She stood on her tip-toes and brushed a kiss on my cheek. "Well, I think they're beautiful."

I looked around and had an idea. "Find more."

"What?" she asked. "Why?"

"So we never forget this moment."

"Lance," she said, "I don't think I'm going to forget this moment with or without the sea glass."

"Come on, beautiful, it'll be just something you and I know about. It'll be our special thing."

"Finding sea glass?"

I nodded. "Fine, but you should keep the sea glass. You obviously appreciate it more."

"You need something to remember this moment by," I countered.

"I'll take sand."

"I like that. Sand and sea glass, like us, meant to be. You're the sea glass, by the way," I pointed out.

She quirked a brow. "I don't really think sea glass belongs in the sand."

I chuckled. "Just go with it."

"Fine, but you're way too cute, you know that?"

"What were you thinking about?" Gemma asked, her voice breaking me from my reverie. "Must have been something that made you happy because you're smiling."

I shook my head, trying to push those thoughts to the back of my mind again. "Just thinking about my appointments today," I lied. "It's going to be a long day for me." It was better that I didn't bring up the past and muddle the present. Neither of us needed that.

She nodded. "I still can't believe people voluntarily risk their lives on a surfboard."

"Risks make life worth living." At least, I always believed so. Without all the risks I'd taken, my life would be nothing. I wouldn't have kept Mason, I wouldn't have found this place that became my home away from home, or even taken the biggest risk of all by getting into bed with this woman who was also working for the resort three years ago.

"Spoken like a true adventurer."

I gave her a confused look. I was definitely not an adventurer, just willing to do the little things that kept life exciting. But to her, I could see how she'd see me that way. Gemma liked everything neat and tidy, organized, with everything having a place and in its place. Me, I threw caution to the wind and didn't worry so much about what would come next, aside from those things that would have an impact on my son, then I was much more careful.

"Never mind," she said. "What I'm trying to say is, you'll never see me out on one of those things. Those waters are unpredictable and you don't know what's going to happen."

"You take risks every single day, Gemma. You just don't realize it. Driving is a risk. Car accidents happen more often than you think. Technically, beaches often have bacteria or other harmful substances lurking in the water or on the sand. You're taking a risk right now just being here with me."

Her nose wrinkled like she was trying to make sense of that. Then she dropped her voice and said, "I took a risk the last time I was here and practically jeopardized my whole business. I had clients threatening to leave me, my sister went through a breakup and needed me, but I wasn't there, where I should've been. I was here, in Miami, miles and miles away from my responsibilities."

I inhaled deeply. "I didn't know any of that."

She angled her head to the side. "How could you?"

I felt bad for her. Sorry that she couldn't see a path for herself to happiness, that she put so much on her shoulders. She didn't deserve that kind of pressure. "You should learn to let people in. Not everyone will disappoint you, you know." I had a feeling that was what it was all about for her, fear that if she gave up an inch, she'd lose a mile, whether of herself or the control she had, I didn't know, but it felt a fitting reminder.

She swayed her head back and forth and then stopped to look directly at me. "You always understood me."

"I know."

Eyes narrowed, she laughed out of the blue, probably due to nerves. "Hey, how's your son doing?" Gemma asked suddenly.

"He's good," I answered. "Growing like a weed."

"You're lucky to have him."

I heard her voice crack and had a feeling this had to do with the fact that she once told me she always wanted to have a family of her own, but between work and her lack of a serious relationship, she didn't see that happening anytime soon. I guessed nothing much changed in that department for her, which was a shame. Gemma would make a great mother, I knew.

"That I am," I agreed.

She smiled and got up, taking her blanket and folding it back up to put in her purse. "We should probably be going."

I nodded and got up, brushing the sand off myself. She was right and I had work to get to, appointments to take. But that didn't mean I wanted to leave her. "Gemma," I called out, before we walked away and I lost my chance, "I don't regret it."

When she turned around and her eyes sparkled, I knew she knew what I was talking about. I didn't regret what we did three years ago and I needed her to know that. It was difficult saying goodbye and I wished we never did, but I didn't regret it for one second. "Me neither," she said softly and I fought the urge to reach out and pull her into my arms.