21. Cassie

CHAPTER 21

CASSIE

I’m sitting here speechless.When I hear the front door slam, I turn to my mom. “I told you what he did to me. I told you that he was pressuring me to have sex.”

She rolls her eyes. “You’re twenty-two, Cassie. Grow up.”

I rear back as if she slapped me. “Grow up? You’re telling me to grow up! Mom, he cheated on me—”

She cuts me off. “Because you wouldn’t put out.”

Brook stands up from the table. “Mother!”

I shake my head and hold my hand up. “It’s fine, Brook. It’s not like we don’t know how she is.” I turn to my mom. “I just wish one time you’d be on our side.”

Her face twists in anger. “Your side? What have you always wanted, Cassie? A family. And now what? I gave you one, and you’re the one that’s screwing it all up.”

“Me? I’m going to screw it up?” I ask in outrage.

She puts her hands on her hip. “Yes. I know you’re fucking your stepbrother.”

I gasp in shock, but she’s not finished. “If anything, you’re the one that’s tearing this family apart.”

It sucks that she’s throwing this in my face. I knew if she ever found out, she would, and I was right. But I refuse to back down. She’s putting the blame on me when she’s the one that started all this tonight. “I’m not going to tear up anything.”

She laughs bitterly. “You think if you put out to him, he’s going to stay? He’s not going to stay, Cassie. If I’ve taught you nothing else, I’ve taught you that. And I have to ask you… is it worth it?”

Brook has walked around the table and is standing next to me, hugging me. It’s always been like this. We’ve always had to have each other’s backs. We’ve learned through the years that if nothing else, we have each other.

The front door opens, and Ryan and Baker come in. Ryan comes straight to me and hugs me. His voice is soft and soothing, and I start to cry instantly. “I know I’m not your dad, Cassie, but I think of you as my daughter. I will always be here for you, and if someone hurts you, I’ll take care of it.” He leans back and looks in my face. “Anyone,” he says.

I sniff, and he lets me go and hugs Brook, telling her the same thing.

My mom throws a napkin down on the table. “Oh, Ryan, for fuck’s sake, they bring this on themselves. I’m done. You all have ruined a perfect dinner.”

She stomps out of the room, and we all ignore her tantrum.

Brook says she’s leaving, and I hug her bye. As Ryan walks her out, Baker reaches for my hand. I pull back and cross my arms over my chest. Right now, I hate my mom. It doesn’t feel good thinking that, but I do. But if there is something she’s taught me, it’s that men leave. Who knows how much longer Ryan is going to put up with her shit? And then there’s Baker. I’ve already proven I’m way more trouble than I’m worth. He’ll be gone next, and I have no doubt my heart will shatter.

There’s real fear in Baker’s eyes when he says my name. “Cassie? Go pack a bag. You’re coming to stay with me.”

I hold myself tighter. “I can’t.”

He takes a step toward me, and I take a step back. He’s shocked. “What do you mean you can’t?”

“I think we need to pause for a minute.”

He clenches his eyes shut and then peels them open. “Pause?”

Fuck, I know it sounds ridiculous. “Yes, pause. It’s not worth tearing our family apart when you’re going to leave me anyway.”

It’s like nothing is computing, and he’s just repeating things I say. “Leave you?”

I nod. “Yes. When you’re tired of me—heck, I’m tired of me already—you’ll leave.”

He blows out a breath, and I can see the anger on his face. “Tired of you?”

The tears start to well up again, and I don’t even try to hold them back. “Yes, we both know it’s going to happen.”

He runs his hand through the scruff of his chin. “Cassie, are you hearing yourself right now? You just said I’m not worth it. That what we have is not worth it.”

I shake my head. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

He looks so angry, and each word he says his voice is hard and void of emotion. “I was ready to put you first. I know how I feel, but I can’t fight your past. Your dad was a shitty dad. Your ex was a shitty boyfriend. I’m not him. I’m not them.”

I start to sob, and it wracks my body. I try to stop, but I can’t control it.

He’s mad, but he still pleads with me. “Please, stop crying, Cass. I can’t stand to see you cry, and you’re going to get another migraine.”

It’s then I know I’ve messed up. I can feel the anger vibrating off him, but he’s more concerned about me than letting that stop him from making sure I’m okay. “Cassie, what I want more than anything is to hold you right now, but you don’t want to let me. I’m going to leave because then maybe you’ll stop crying. Let me know when you’re done with this ‘pause.’”

With his hands fisted at his sides, he walks away. Before he crosses over the threshold, he stops but doesn’t look at me. “Don’t forget to take your medicine and put an ice pack on your head.”

He’s out the door when I cry out his name. “Baker!”

But he doesn’t stop. When the door slams shut, I drop to my knees in agony. What have I done?