Chapter 47

I felt grateful for weeks of working on my fitness as Nicky and I sprinted back through the trees. Most women had hours, sometimes days, to wait after their waters had broken before labour got into full swing – Daisy being an exception when she'd had Bolt on my kitchen floor – so we didn't bother calling anyone just yet. However, I was anxious to find out what had brought Ellis to my door.

Twenty minutes later, I staggered into the house to find Ellis sitting at the kitchen table, Toby hovering around her like a nervous chicken.

‘Ellis, hi.' I crouched down beside her, scanning her skinny frame while still catching my breath. ‘Tell me what's happening.'

‘I made a mess on your floor.' She half laughed, half grimaced.

Her posture and tone of voice were my best clue as to whether things were progressing. When Nicky arrived a few seconds later, having fetched her GP bag from the car, she caught my eye with a nod of relief. There wasn't about to be a baby born on my floor this morning.

‘Welcome to the club. I think that makes about a dozen of you so far. Did Toby clean it up?'

‘He did,' she said, straggly eyebrows shooting up. ‘Only gagged once, too.'

‘Do you want a drink?'

‘More water would be good.'

I stepped back to allow Nicky to ask Ellis the necessary questions while using her eyes and ears to also assess the situation. As I made tea for Nicky and me, water and a plate of toast for Ellis and shooed Toby off to check on Hazel, I glanced over, making a non-medical professional assessment of my own. Ellis looked exactly as she had when I'd last seen her. Only, if possible, even more vulnerable. Far more scared. She wore an old robe that Toby must have found in the bathroom, and her complexion was stark against the peach terry towelling.

‘Ooh, is that one now?' I heard Nicky ask, in the doctor's voice she used that always made me think of hot chocolate and soft blankets.

Ellis nodded vigorously, eyes shut, jaw clenched tight. I counted fifteen seconds until she sagged against the back of the chair again. Still plenty of time.

‘When did you last see the midwife?' Nicky continued.

‘I dunno. A few weeks ago.'

‘Right. I think that, given the situation, it would be a good idea to get you and baby looked over properly in the hospital.'

Ellis jerked her head up. ‘No.'

‘No?'

‘I'm not going to the hospital. He's waiting for me there.'

‘Who is?' Nicky asked.

Ellis turned her face away with a scowl.

‘Damon?' I asked, bringing her water and the toast over.

A sharp nod.

‘We can go to a different hospital,' Nicky said. ‘I can call the Nottingham labour suites, see who has room.'

‘No.'

‘Ellis, it would be a really good idea to get your baby checked out.'

‘Then do it here!' she cried. ‘You're a doctor, aren't you? If I could go to the hospital then I wouldn't be here, would I?'

I sat on the chair next to hers, shuffling it close enough to gently cradle her hand. ‘Have you taken something?' I asked, softly.

A few furious blinks, then Ellis crumpled onto my shoulder. ‘I didn't want to. He made me. I told him it wasn't safe for the baby, I wasn't doing it any more, but he said it wasn't my choice. I'm his woman and he's paying for everything, so I show him respect. Then he did this.'

She gestured feebly with her chin. After asking permission, Nicky opened the front of the dressing gown, and I was thankful for her doctor's detachment as she carefully inspected the bruise across Ellis's chest.

‘If I go to hospital, they'll take my baby.' She gasped.

Nicky began to protest, but Ellis wasn't listening.

‘I'm high on only Damon knows what. Beaten up. Homeless, because there's no way I'm going back there. I can't take care of myself, let alone a baby.'

‘Ellis, there's plenty of support?—'

‘Yeah? Like the support they offered my mum? They snatched her kids in the middle of the night and dumped them with strangers. I know how social services work. I will have this baby by myself in a back alley before I let them get hold of me. Once you're in the system, they do what they like with you. Let alone your baby. They don't listen to people like me!'

Nicky and I had no reply to that. We knew that, for young women like Ellis, we could make no promises that her voice would be heard, her views and wishes respected. The chances that the system would indeed shunt her onto an overloaded, broken conveyor belt of box-ticking and back-covering was higher than we'd care to admit.

‘What would you like to do?' I asked, after waiting for another contraction to pass.

‘I want you to work your Bloomers magic and get this baby out safe. I'll figure out what happens next, next.'

‘How about we call the community midwife, and she can help with a home birth?'

‘How about I just leave?'

Nicky and I stood up, exchanging glances over the top of Ellis's head. It wasn't against the law for her to give birth unassisted, but there was a big difference between women like Astrid, who came to Brayden and Silva's class and planned a ‘freebirth' with no midwife or doctor present, and a teenager who'd admitted she was under the influence of drugs.

Sensing our reluctance, Ellis got up and started lumbering towards the doorway. ‘I thought you of all people would understand. You're a doctor. It's not like I've gone to some nutter who wants to make placenta paté. Besides, after everything, this is the least you can do.'

‘After everything?' Nicky looked at me. I'd not told her that Ellis still blamed me for Jonah leaving.

‘Wait.' I followed Ellis into the hallway. ‘How about this? Nicky will monitor you carefully, and if you show any signs of baby being in distress, or something going wrong that she can't handle safely here, we transfer you to one of the Nottingham hospitals, where there'll be no risk of Damon.'

Ellis stopped walking, so I pressed on.

‘And I call Jonah.'

Her face disintegrated as she crumpled against the wall. I called for Nicky as I rushed to help her.

‘He won't come,' she wailed as we led her into the living room and onto the sofa. ‘He hates me.'

‘You know that's not true,' I said, smoothing the hair off her brow as Jonah used to do when she was a little girl. ‘He loves you, and he's been desperately worried.'

She clenched her jaw. ‘He chose you, didn't he? A girl he'd not seen in years. Over his own sister. Just like last time.'

‘No. He didn't choose me. He chose you. I haven't seen Jonah since the night you left.'

‘What?' Ellis looked at me, baffled. ‘Why would he do that?'

‘Because he loves you.'

‘But he loves you!'

‘He loves you more.'

She shook her head. ‘I didn't even really mean it. I was looking for an excuse to be mad at him so I felt less guilty about ditching him for Damon. He made me feel bad, because I knew he was right and Damon would be a disaster. But, I dunno. I guess piece-of-crap-men is just one more toxin I'm addicted to.'

While Nicky helped Ellis to get comfortable I went back into the kitchen and called Jonah. Before he'd picked up, the front door banged open.

‘Mum! Platinum Precious smiled at me! Mu-u-u-u-um!'

I raced out of the kitchen just as Finn and Isla disappeared into the living room. Before I could catch up with them, they both quickly backed out again.

‘Not another one!' Finn groaned. ‘Does that mean we can't watch telly?'

‘Can I watch the baby being born instead?' Isla asked, eyes lighting up as I started herding them in the direction of snacks. ‘I know all about babies now. Silva says I'm a nature-all.'

Fully aware that they'd be stuffed with treats – Silva's all-natural, organic-only diet had lapsed somewhat since becoming enslaved to the demands of a crying poop factory – I decided that extreme times called for extreme measures, and opened the emergency box of Maltesers.

Once safely portioned out, I took a seat opposite them.

‘The woman in the living room is having a baby, and for lots of reasons she's decided to have it here. Auntie Nicky's with her, so that's okay, but she also would like someone she knows really well to be with her, like Silva wanted Daddy when Platinum Precious was born.'

‘Like the baby's daddy.' Isla nodded sagely.

‘Yes. But she doesn't see the baby's daddy any more, so he can't come.'

‘Then what about her mum and dad?'

‘Her parents have both died.'

‘Aw, that's sad!'

‘So, she'd really like her big brother to be there.'

‘Ew!' Finn screwed up his face. ‘You'd better not want me there when you have a baby, Isla.'

‘Anyway, Ellis does want her brother there. But you need to know that her brother is Jonah, who you met once before. He came here for an antenatal class for Ellis, actually,' I went on as Finn and Isla wrinkled their foreheads in confusion. ‘And you saw me with him and thought he might be my boyfriend.'

‘Him!' Isla stood up, hands on hips, as though she'd just unmasked a murderer.

‘Okay.' Finn shrugged. ‘Can I go and play football?'

‘Can I play too?'

‘You're in goal,' Finn instructed as they slipped out of the patio doors.

Shaking my head, I picked up my phone. After eight years, the unpredictability of my children could still catch me out.

‘Libby?' Jonah sounded breathless. I felt a rush of warmth that he'd not blocked or deleted my number.

‘Ellis is here.'

‘What?' He instantly sharpened. ‘At your house?'

‘She's in labour and is refusing to go to hospital. Nicky's with her,' I added quickly, sensing his spurt of panic. ‘Everything's fine so far, and we've agreed that if anything starts to look different then we'll take her to City Hospital.'

‘She's booked in at King's Mill.'

‘Which is why she thinks Damon's waiting for her there.'

There was a brief silence where I felt him trying to hold himself together. I knew he'd succeed. This man had been through far worse.

‘How is she?' he asked after a while, his voice sounding strained.

‘She's really hoping you'll come.'

‘I'm already in the car. How is she really?'

‘She's… here, not with Damon. Which is something.'

‘It's everything.' He sighed. ‘There is literally nowhere I'd rather she be than with you and Nicky right now.'

I didn't tell him that she was still high from only Damon knew what. Better to let him discover that when he wasn't hurtling along country lanes trying to reach his baby sister.