Chapter 63

CHAPTER 63

LOGAN

T wo hours after Mira had left my place, I found myself banging on Slate's door. I still had no idea what had caused her to think that all we had was chemistry, but the more I'd obsessed about it, the more I'd realized that there was only person who could've influenced the way she thought about what we had.

Slate's door opened slowly, and he peeked out from behind it with a confused furrow on his brow. His hair was messy and he was wearing pajamas, but at least he was here.

I hadn't been sure if he was still on the rig, but I'd known he wouldn't pick up if I tried to call before I came and I'd been going stir crazy with all the emptiness in my house anyway. I'd needed to get out of there, and before I'd even thought about where I was going, I'd ended up here.

Slate's frown deepened as he squinted at me. "Logan? What are you doing here?"

"You got into Mira's head," I ground out, accusing him of what I knew to be true without anyone having to tell me where the breakup had come from. "You sabotaged us before we even had a real chance to make something of our relationship."

He rolled his eyes, straightening up. He also stepped back, but he didn't slam the door in my face. "I'm not buying any of this shit. Your relationship wasn't going anywhere, but if what you're saying is that she broke up with you, then I'm glad she saw the light and ended things before she got too invested."

I stuck my hand in my pocket and pulled out the ring, shaking with rage as I pinched it between my thumb and my index finger. "Fuck you, Slate. You had no idea where it was going. I was about to propose to her when she decided that it would never work between us. I don't know what you told her, but?—"

I stopped talking when I saw Slate staring at the ring, blinking like he was trying to disappear. My heart thrummed in my ears, and for just a moment, I thought he was finally going to realize that he'd been wrong.

His jaw had gone slack, his lips had parted in shock, and he stumbled back a bit. It was completely obvious that he hadn't been expecting me to be that serious about her, but as I looked at him now, I wondered if his blessing would help me win her back.

If he realized that I really loved his sister, then maybe I would have a chance.

Slate burst out laughing. For the second time in one night, I was totally stunned by a Spiers.

He laughed so hard that he had tears in his eyes and he eventually doubled over, holding his ribs and bracing a hand against the door for support. It occurred to me then that he hadn't come to any realizations. Seeing the ring and knowing that I'd been about to propose hadn't made him change his mind.

Red flames ignited behind my eyes as rage swept through me all over again. "You're an asshole, you know that, right? I was going to fucking propose to her, Slate. I love her and you're laughing at me for it. You're?—"

He finally got himself under control, but he was still grinning as he pushed the ring aside and shook his head at me. "I may be an asshole, but you're still an impulsive idiot. How the hell did you think proposing to her is a good idea?"

"Because I love her, Slate." Indignation raced through me, fueling the rage as I considered burying the ring in his eyeball. My fingers clenched into fists around it and my teeth gnashed together. "I love her and I want to spend the rest of my life with her, but now, thanks to whatever bullshit lies you've spun her, she's gone."

The words sounded flat, even to my own ears, and this time when Slate burst out laughing, I wasn't as surprised. He shook his head at me again. "I'm sorry, bro, but so what? Who cares if you love her? Love isn't enough. Love isn't what makes a marriage last for a lifetime."

"Excuse me?" I sounded just plain dumb now instead of simply sounding flat, but I had no idea what was going on. "What are you talking about? When people love each other, they get married."

Slate sighed, amusement as well as sympathy in his eyes as he looked back at me. "Maybe eventually, sure, they get married, but you and Mira don't know each other well enough to commit to marriage. Even if I was behind your relationship one hundred percent, I still would've told you that neither of you are ready for this."

A vague recollection drifted into my mind of Jude and Mickey's reactions when they realized what I was in that store to buy. As far as I knew, they supported our relationship, but even they thought I was unhinged for wanting to buy a ring. So much so that they'd done everything in their power to stop me and, when that hadn't worked, had begged me to hang onto it for a while.

My head spun as I suddenly started wondering if they'd been right. In the meantime, Slate used my silence to reinforce his point. "You're not ready for this with her, Logan. She isn't ready for it with you either. To make a marriage work, you need to know the other person inside out. What's Mira's middle name? Do you even know if she has one?"

When I didn't respond, he nodded slowly and kept going, making me realize that he might just be onto something. "What was her first pet? Does she ever want another one? How many kids does she want? Does she even want any, and if she does, then when? Where does she want to settle down? Have you ever told her that you love her? Does she love you ba?— "

I held up my hand to cut him off. I'd heard enough. Swaying on my feet, I sank down to my haunches and covered my face in my hands. Slate crouched then too, his head cocked when I finally looked at him.

"Do you want to come in? I have beer."

I nodded, or at least, I thought I did. I wasn't sure right now. Too stunned to really know what was going on, I swallowed hard and stumbled into the house after him. He handed me a beer, then steered me to his living room by my shoulders and fixed me with a weird look once I sat down.

"You're really messed up over her," he commented softly as he fell back onto the sofa facing mine. "Wow. I won't lie, I had no idea you cared this much."

"I do." I cracked open the beer and drank down at least half of it in one go before my brain finally started coming back online. Once I'd swallowed, I gave him a pointed look. "Does this mean I have my friend back, or were you just afraid I was going to pass out on your doorstep?"

He chuckled, his gaze a little unfocused like he was reeling too, but then he shrugged. "A little bit of both. As your friend though, I still think you're a dolt for thinking that proposing so soon was a good idea. It's called dating, Logan. There's a reason people do it for a while before they start considering next steps."

I nodded lamely, like my head was on a spring and it was just bouncing up and down of its own accord. Blowing out a deep breath, I grabbed hold of the relief that I had my friend back to keep me tethered to the here and now.

"Yeah, I guess you're not wrong. I don't know, man. I just haven't told her that I love her. When that beam came down, I realized that I did and then I got discharged from the hospital, and I figured, hey, why the hell not? Life is short."

Slate took a long drink, also downing at least half his bottle before he dragged in a deep breath and frowned at me. "Life is short, but that's also why people don't like to make monumental mistakes that could've been avoided by just giving things time." He paused for a beat. "Were you really going to propose? Like, now? "

I squeezed my eyes shut and dipped my chin in a more deliberate nod this time. "If she hadn't broken up with me, I would've done it already. I was about to when she suddenly started asking me these vague questions about where I wanted to be in five years."

Slate's shoulders shook with silent laughter and he held up a hand in apology. "You mean you were going to do it tonight ? Are you serious? It's only been a few days since the accident and you didn't stop to think that maybe this was just a knee-jerk reaction after you almost died ?"

As he said it, realization dawned and I groaned. "My place is covered in candles and red roses if you need any. There's enough that we could probably send a bouquet to every military wife in the US Army and say they're from her husband?"

"Well, it'd be a pity to just throw them out," he agreed, that amused light still burning in his eyes as he shook his head at me again. "I've heard you can donate stuff like that to retirement homes. Maybe not the candles, but you can always keep those for next time."

"Next time?" I narrowed my eyes at him. "What fucking next time? Maybe I was right all along and all this romance shit just isn't for me. God knows, I seem to have screwed up big time with this. I've never felt like so much of an idiot."

A sympathetic grunt came from him, but he leaned forward and the amusement finally faded from his eyes. "Nah, that's not it. You're not an idiot. You're just in love and I mean, you definitely shouldn't have been thinking about proposing, but I think I get it. You realized you were in love, you had a close call, and you didn't want to waste any time. In a sweet way, it makes sense."

"Fuck off." For the first time in hours, I laughed a little bit. "I'm not sweet. None of this was sweet. It was a mistake, is all."

To my surprise, Slate took a deep breath as his head started shaking. "It wasn't a mistake, Logan. Not the thought of wanting to commit to her anyway. Just the timing, and that wasn't a mistake either. It was just off. If you want to commit to her, then commit to her. You don't have to do that by putting a ring on her finger right away. "

"Yeah, I'm getting that now, but it's over. She doesn't want me, so I guess none of this matters anymore. I should probably just be thankful that she ended it before I made a complete fool of myself."

"Nah, that's not it either," he said, sounding pretty confident in himself right now. "It's not that she doesn't want you. As much as I hate to say it, I'm sure she does, but you know who Mira is, right? She's independent, and fierce, and she won't be swooned by a ring."

"So what are you saying?"

His gaze burned into mine. "I'm saying that the timing has to be right. With her, you can't skip straight to the end, Logan. You can't be impulsive and reckless the way you've always been. These things have a natural progression and you're going to have to follow that with her. She's not the type to elope after knowing someone for a couple months."

"Hey, that works for some people."

He grinned. "Yeah, but Mira's not one of those people. I think you know that by now. You should know that by now."

"Yeah." I sighed. "I do. I know. I just got caught up."

"Ya think?" he joked, chuckling as he sank back in his chair. "So you really love her, huh?"

When I thought back to how I'd felt when she'd walked out of my house, I had zero doubts about how I felt about her. "Yes, I do, but does this mean you think I should try to make things right and keep seeing her?"

Slate released a long, heavy exhale, his eyes serious and dark on mine. "If she's made you into the sort of man who wants to marry? Maybe I've been wrong from the start. I didn't know, Logan. Even when you told me, I didn't think it was like this, so maybe we should go back. Can we do that? Can we rewind?"

I nodded, propping my elbows on my knees as I braced myself for the conversation I'd been begging him to have with me all along. "Sure, man. Let's rewind. Ask me anything you want to know, and we'll see if maybe I can convince you to let me try to have a life with your sister."