Chapter 9

On Thursday morning, Evelyn had woken up to sunlight streaming through her window and a clear blue sky. She'd had a quick breakfast and then gone down to the stables in search of Claire. She'd been thinking about what Claire had suggested, about going for a drive, and the more Evelyn thought about it, the more she wanted to venture out. Maybe, she was getting complacent after five weeks without an intrusion of her privacy, but with Arianna's reminder that she'd have to get back to her normal life eventually, Evelyn knew she'd look back on these months with regret if she didn't take the time to explore.

Claire had been thrilled, her face lighting up when Evelyn had told her that she'd had a change of heart, and given the day that was in it, Claire offered to go then and there.

Now, the sun was high in the sky, casting a warm glow over the rugged terrain of Connemara as Claire's car wound its way along the narrow roads. It felt strange to be sitting on the left and not having a steering wheel in front of her, but then again, it'd been years since she'd regularly drove anywhere. She'd gotten more used to riding in the back.

They had the windows down, and Claire put on a playlist that surprised Evelyn, because she knew just about every song. "You have good taste," Evelyn said as they slowed down to wait for two sheep to get off the road. "You weren't even born when most of those songs were out."

Claire shrugged. "Good music is good music, no matter when it was released."

As they continued driving, the conversation flowed effortlessly between them, ranging from their favorite artists to childhood memories and everything in between. Evelyn found herself opening up to Claire in a way she rarely did with anyone, sharing stories she'd never told before.

The scenery was stunning, and just when Evelyn thought it couldn't get any more breathtaking, they turned a corner and the way the sun shone on the rugged mountains, contrasting with the greens, a lake at the foot of the slope a sheet of glass, she couldn't look away.

"What do you think?" Claire asked, and Evelyn could hear the smile in her voice.

"I think it's incredible," Evelyn said without looking away, her eyes roaming over the dramatic mountains. "And not at all what I was expecting."

"They're called the Twelve Bens."

"In Telluride, the mountains are taller, but these feel so much closer, and the light… It's not as harsh. It's softer here somehow."

"There's a place to pullover up ahead," Claire said and a few moments later she had the car parked, and they both got out.

As they leaned against the car taking in the stunning view, Evelyn couldn't help stealing a glance at Claire. Her hair was down, falling a few inches below her shoulders. She wore khaki shorts and a black tank top, and there was an effortless beauty about her.

Claire turned and caught Evelyn's gaze. "Is it worth the risk?"

Evelyn blinked, her mind scrambling to come up with something to say as her heart seemed to stall.

"Coming out here," Claire said when Evelyn hadn't answered. "We haven't seen a single person. And I could bring you on ten different drives like this before you decide to leave."

Evelyn swallowed, her heart slowing. Why had she assumed that Claire had noticed the way that she'd been looking at her? "I'm sorry I didn't trust you," Evelyn said as she turned back to the landscape. "But I'm glad that I came around eventually. Thank you. For doing this."

As they stood side by side, gazing out at the rugged beauty of Connemara, Evelyn's mind drifted back to their conversation from the previous night. Claire's casual mention of her sexuality had caught Evelyn off guard, but she doubted that Claire had taken any notice of her reaction. Evelyn kept her expression neutral, but now, she couldn't deny that things had changed.

The idea that she could let herself be drawn to Claire, because it was harmless and Claire wouldn't notice, was gone. Evelyn had to forget about these last few weeks and all those stolen glances and lingering looks.

It wasn't even that she thought Claire would be interested in her. Evelyn was so much older than her, and it was beyond unrealistic. Their lives were so far apart on just about every level.

But still, that conversation had brought Evelyn's own long-buried feelings to the surface, forcing her to confront truths she had spent years denying. And she had alluded to it that night after a few too many glasses of wine. Regrets, she'd said, without specifying what they were.

In the chaos that was her life, working long hours and going from one award ceremony to the next, it was easy for Evelyn to forget that she'd spent decades hiding a fundamental part of herself, too afraid to ruin her public image, to potentially tank her career. She'd pushed down her own desires and thrown herself into her work instead, all the while maintaining a carefully crafted public persona, a handsome man never too far away.

But standing here, in this picturesque setting, with a woman who knew exactly who she was, Evelyn couldn't help but feel a twinge of envy, maybe even longing.

What would her life have been like if she'd been brave enough to be herself? Would she have met someone? Would she have been happier? Could she have had both? A woman she loved and a career that would be remembered?

"Will we keep going?" Claire asked, taking her away from her thoughts.

"Yeah." Evelyn took one last look, her eyes lingering on the few houses that were nestled at the foot of the mountains, and she wondered what it would be like to live somewhere so beautiful yet so remote.