15. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

T he wait for Meera to come out of Elverston House was excruciating. I stood, half concealed by a tree, my claws tracing the spot where her lips had touched my jaw.

It was similar to that gesture that had made her panic last time, though not quite as intimate. Perhaps that meant she was less fond of me now than she was then? No, that didn't seem right. I suspected I had no idea what that gesture meant at all.

Maybe I should have asked someone. Shades I knew were now mated to Hunters—I supposed I could have asked them. But it felt too intimate to share, even if it was with someone I trusted.

With each rustle of a leaf or quiet whoosh of breeze, I was startling, looking around for a member of the Guard to appear and demand that I explain myself. I hadn't actually done anything yet, and I felt as though I was going to be dragged away by Captain Soren at any moment and be thrown into the Pit.

It went entirely against my nature to rebel. But not helping Meera was a greater affront to my instincts.

If anyone else had asked me for such a favor, I'd have said no without question. I'd have reported them to the captain. I'd have followed procedure to the letter. But Meera needed me, and I wouldn't disappoint her. Even if I didn't entirely understand what we were setting out to do.

Vengeance, I understood. Why now and how she intended to accomplish it, I was a little less clear on, but I trusted that Meera knew what she was doing.

Her eyes were a little too wide, a little too bright, when she came back outside, trailing her fingers over the leafy green plants she'd so diligently planted as though she was saying farewell to them. That wasn't going to happen. This was not goodbye.

"Ready," she breathed, straightening her spine and pushing her shoulders back. I wasn't sure who she was trying to convince, but I had to admit that her scent didn't indicate any hesitation. "They're going to cover for me."

I glanced up at Elverston House, finding eyes peering down at us from the upper windows again.

"Okay. Follow me—this way. They must be very fond of you if they're willing to do that."

"Yes," Meera said hesitantly. "I guess they are. I don't intend on abusing that. I'm very grateful for what they're doing."

"Do they know what you're doing?"

"They know the basics."

I hummed, ushering Meera along, staying close to her side. "Then presumably they believe in your cause, or they wouldn't be willing to lie for it."

It bolstered my faith in this endeavor a little. From what I'd seen of the new ex-Hunters who'd moved here, and what I knew of Meera's own history, I understood that not all experiences within the Hunters were equal. And I knew enough about my own privilege and what it had afforded me to know that I would never be able to wholly comprehend what that meant.

"This way, Meera."

"This isn't the way to the portal?" she whispered, clasping my hand and lightly squeezing my fingers. The small movement made something swoop alarmingly in my chest.

"No." Because I could be so reliably trusted not to break the rules, I was entrusted with information that not everyone had, and I used it to my advantage now as I guided Meera to a quiet, densely grown area to the east of the palace gardens. "There's a passageway. Only the highest level of the Guard have access to it."

I would be relieved of my post immediately if anyone knew I'd taken Meera there, but I suspected I would be relieved of my post either way after all of this was said and done, if anyone found it.

What would happen to me then? I supposed I would have to return to Sunlis, and live with my parents while they bemoaned the shame I'd brought to the family name.

I reluctantly released Meera's hand to clear some brush out of the way before finding the edge of the loose stone cover with my claws and prying it up. A network of passages ran beneath the gardens—fully illuminated so no one could shadow walk to or from them.

"Wait here, I'll help you down," I instructed, lowering myself into the hole. I could stand up straight while the cover was off, but I'd need to crouch or risk getting my horns stuck on the ceiling once we started moving.

"Here," I said, holding my arms up. "Let me lift you down."

Meera sat gingerly at the edge, her legs dangling into the hole. "I'm pretty heavy, Verner—"

I planted my hands firmly on her waist and lifted her down before she could argue. It wasn't something I'd usually do, but I suspected that Meera would work herself up into more of a state if I let her, and I was very eager for us to be ensconced in the privacy of the passageway.

She grabbed my shoulders with a faint squeak of alarm, and I held her tightly so she felt secure in my embrace, releasing her slowly so she wouldn't be startled.

Somehow, I hadn't predicted the way it would make her body slide down the length of mine, the softness of her curves pressed against the hardness of my muscles. A shiver of desire ran down my spine, and I desperately hoped she hadn't noticed as I set her down.

"Sorry—" I began, inhaling for any sign of concern in Meera's scent and finding none.

"No, don't be. That was probably the best way of handling that," she mumbled, still pressed tightly against me, though standing on her own two feet as I reached up to slide the cover back into place.

I frantically thought of everything other than how her body felt against mine.

"Is it far to walk?" Meera asked quietly, her soft voice echoing in the tunnel.

"Just a few minutes," I assured her, taking her hand again as the light wasn't as good in here with the cover back on the entry hole. Meera tangled our fingers together, sticking close to my back as I hunched down and began the winding journey through the tunnels. There was no signage, and the passages could be mazelike. Even those who were familiar with them usually opted not to use them, but I'd made it a point to memorize the routes. I wasn't even sure why, in hindsight. Perhaps to prove to the captain that I had value. That I was worthy of the position he was entrusting to me, even when my future as heir of Sunlis made me feel as though I didn't deserve it.

"Are there bugs in here?" Meera whispered, huddling a little closer to my back. There was enough orb light in here that no one could shadow walk, but it was still dim, and probably even more so to Meera's eyes than it was for a Shade.

"Maybe," I prevaricated, wondering if she could hear the scuttling sounds as critters cleared out at our presence. They were far more afraid of us than we needed to be of them, but I suspected it wouldn't ease Meera's mind at all if I pointed that out.

Her fingers squeezed me a little tighter. "There are absolutely bugs in here, Verner."

"Well, yes, but they're leaving if it helps."

Meera made a noise of discontent, her scent souring slightly, and I picked up the pace despite how difficult it was to move quickly while hunched over to protect my horns.

Eventually, I found the spot we wanted and released Meera's hand so I could slip open the cover above us. This one was harder to move, and I suspected the overgrowth had matted over it. There was a glimmer of fear in Meera's scent—perhaps at how long it was taking to get us out of here—and that was the boost of energy I needed to rip through the tight vines overhead and push the heavy stone slab out of the way.

Unfortunately, my claws caught on the foliage almost instantly as I tried to clear it enough for Meera to get through without getting stuck in it. I pulled my hands back down with a grunt of frustration, annoyed at myself that I wasn't carrying a knife to slice through it.

"If I'm not too heavy, maybe you could boost me up?" Meera suggested, rising up on her tiptoes and still coming up short. "I think that's a job for clawless hands."

I gripped her around the waist, holding her up in the air so she could efficiently push the vines out of the way with dexterous fingers.

"You're so strong," Meera breathed once we were both above ground, crouching next to the hole while I shifted the heavy cover.

"Yes," I agreed because that was true. I'd been a small child—the healers suspected it was because my mother had been so old when she'd had me—and I'd trained hard to grow in strength and ability as I'd moved toward adulthood. "Though that was hardly a demonstration of it," I added, slightly concerned she would think that the heaviest thing I could lift was her. That was outrageous. I could comfortably carry two of her if I wished.

We both fell still and silent as the stone scraped loudly, settling back into place. This exit had taken us out near the barracks, which shouldn't be busy at this time of day. Shift changeover wasn't for several more hours.

"Wait here," I instructed, leaving Meera obscured by the overgrowth while I circled around the building, checking that we were alone. The captain never came this far—he usually went directly to the training grounds. Selene was the greater concern. This entry room was her preferred route to return to her home in Cartava.

Fortunately for us, Selene was working less now that she was expecting her first child and our way was clear. I quickly collected Meera, ushering her into the entry room and shutting the door behind us, ensconcing us in darkness. While I could still see her perfectly, Meera fumbled slightly as she reached for my arm, and I swallowed thickly at the faint brush of her hand just south of my hips.

"Where exactly am I taking you?" I asked quietly, tucking her hand securely into the crook of my arm and away from my cock as we set off into the in-between.

"You've accompanied Astrid to Harlow Miles's apartment before, right?"

I frowned, remembering the odd Hunter with the black and green hair and the room full of square orbs. "Yes. That's where you want to go? I thought you didn't want Astrid to know your whereabouts."

Meera winced, and I wondered if perhaps I shouldn't have stated it so plainly. She didn't want Astrid to know where she was, but she also didn't want to feel like she was deceiving her friend.

"I don't. But Harlow's apartment is a safe harbor for us, isn't it? She's set it up as a permanent entry point. And she won't be surprised by your presence. It's safer for you."

"It's your safety I'm worried about, Meera."

"Well, I'm worried about your safety," she shot back stubbornly. "The human realm is far more dangerous for you than it is for me—even if you're only going to be there for a few seconds."

Should I mention that I had absolutely no intention of leaving her alone there? Probably best not to. I would simply beg for her forgiveness after the fact.

I could hear movement not far from us, and my jaw ached with how hard I was clenching it.

"Can I carry you, Meera? We need to move faster. Climb on my back."

"Oh. Um, if you're sure—"

I didn't give her a moment to hesitate, crouching in front of her and gently guiding her wrists to my shoulders so she could jump on. She clung on tightly and I expended power that I didn't really have to spare to cover her in shadows. Anyone who got close enough would still pick up her scent, but they at least might not notice her vibrant, colorful presence from a distance.

It wasn't a comfortable journey for her—I suspected I was jostling her terribly—but I moved as quickly as I could through the in-between without attracting attention to myself. The moment we moved through the veil to the human realm, Meera landed on her feet with a surprised gasp in Harlow's closet while my body turned ephemeral beneath her.

And then Meera was effectively on her own. I was here, but I was useless.

Helpless.

And incredibly fucking restless, hoping that Meera knew what she was doing.