Chapter 18

While I was playing it cool on the outside, walking arm in arm with Evrin up to the palace, I wasn't totally na?ve.

This was a big deal for him, and he was trying for me. I was extremely conscious of not pushing him past his comfort level with each gasp or stare we received.

The brazenness of the Shades we passed was blowing my mind a little, though. Had Evrin always had to deal with this kind of thing? His entire life?

I exhaled heavily before I start rage perfuming the air around us.

"Good?" I asked, glancing up at him through my lashes.

"I'm not worried about me, Tallulah. I'm worried about you."

"And I'm worried about you. Look at us, being all cute and thoughtful."

He almost succeeded in suppressing his smile.

"There you are," Meera said, giving me a serene smile as she waited on the front steps. "I didn't see you this morning."

"Sorry—I had to go have a long overdue conversation."

"I can see that. Hello again, Evrin."

"Meera." Evrin inclined his head before gently disentangling his arm from mine. "I should start my shift. Will you be okay from here?"

"Of course. Maybe I'll see you later?" I asked, embarrassed at how hopeful I sounded.

Evrin's expression softened. "You will."

He hesitated for a moment, like he wasn't quite sure how to say goodbye, before leaning in to brush a light kiss to my temple. "Have a good day, Tallulah."

"You too," I managed to get out, fake swooning against Meera the moment he turned his back.

She shook with laughter—real, actual, genuine laughter—as she dragged me inside.

"Tallulah!" she whisper-shouted.

"I know, I know! But be cool because I'm trying to manage my expectations."

"How is that going for you?"

I snorted. "Poorly. Do you know where we need to go?"

"I think so." She led the way, though, we did have to stop and ask for help from a member of staff when the spiraling corridors that led into the center of the circular palace all started to look the same.

"I think this is it," Meera said, moving to lean against the wall opposite a grand-looking door. "How are you feeling about this? Are you nervous? I'm nervous."

I grabbed her hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. Oddly, I didn't feel nervous. But this meeting wasn't about me, it was about the general relationship between Hunters and Shades, and creating a vision for our shared future.

It was a lot less nerve-racking to speak in abstracts rather than specifics.

"I feel okay. I'm not really expecting much to come from this," I added wryly. "I used to work in HR. I know how this goes."

"It does feel very corporate vision board."

We fell silent as the door opened and Damen poked his head around the corner, his horns sticking out first. "Ready?"

I nodded, linking arms with Meera as we walked in together. The packed room was dominated by a large circular table, and Damen led us to the two empty seats next to his. I recognized most of the attendees—Allerick and Ophelia, Soren and Astrid, Damen, Sebastian and Lochan—but there were a lot of Shades I didn't know, who I suspected made up the Council of Elders.

I did a double take as I noticed the one Shade lurking on his own in the corner, arms crossed and a scowl on his face directed squarely at Sebastian. Verity wasn't here, but her mate had apparently decided to make a rare appearance at court.

"Shall I do the introductions?" Ophelia asked brightly, not waiting for a response before listing off every Shade in the room.

"Do you two want to introduce yourselves?" she suggested, giving us her most encouraging smile. She was so sweet and endearing, I could almost overlook the corporate retreat energy of this whole thing.

"Sure. I'm Tallulah. Ex-Hunter. Currently jobless, though I do sew from time to time. Embarrassment to my high-ranking family back in the human realm." I gave an uncomfortable Lochan and Sebastian my most charming smile.

Meera was a little more reticent. "I'm Meera."

She didn't bother expanding on that, and I kind of loved her for it.

"Great," Sebastian said weakly. "Well, Lochan and I are really interested in hearing about your experiences, and anything that you feel would improve relations between Hunters and Shades, and make for a more cooperative, collaborative relationship going forward."

"I feel like not bombarding them with silver daggers the moment they materialize in the human realm would be a good start," I suggested.

Lochan's lips thinned while Ophelia hid a smile behind her hands.

"I think that goes without saying," he clipped.

"Doesn't hurt to make sure," I replied sweetly. "Ultimately, things aren't going to improve until some level of trust has been rebuilt, so this is all moot. The ideal situation for us—" I gestured at Meera and myself, then nodded at Ophelia to include her too "—is probably a world where we have the freedom to move between realms without punishment. Where we could go and get the things we need from the human world, and return home—here—at the end of the day. I know that's probably an ambitious ask, but I figure we're in the blue-sky-thinking phase, so I may as well go all out."

Apparently, I'd stunned them into silence, though I failed to see why. Obviously, having the best of both worlds would be my ideal solution. Maybe no one had dared to dream of a setup where we weren't kept rigidly separate.

"That wouldn't work for Austin," Lochan said eventually. "Not with the notoriety he has now."

I shrugged. "I doubt Austin cares about that. His life is here."

Quietly, I suspected that Austin enjoyed how mysterious he now was in the human realm, because he was a shit-stirrer first and foremost. I didn't think that would go down well, though, so I kept that observation to myself.

"It couldn't be unrestricted movement," Sebastian said slowly. "At least not right away. And Austin absolutely couldn't go. But… I don't know. There's something to it, isn't there? I'm really enjoying my time here, but I won't pretend I'm cut out for life without technology full time."

Theon made a derisive noise in the corner, and the king shot him a warning look.

"But what will happen to the Shades who visit the human realm?" Meera asked softly. "Can they feed safely?"

"Our preferred outcome is that the energy stores are filled primarily by the relationships between Shades and Hunters," Allerick put in with only a minimal amount of awkwardness, considering the topic. "It's far safer and more efficient for us."

Everyone was watching the king's face, but I was watching Lochan's. Whatever he said, he obviously wasn't a fan of the idea, if the vaguely repulsed expression he quickly wiped away was anything to go by.

"What do you think, Lochan?" Sebastian prompted.

"That's certainly something to consider. It would make life easier for the seven Hunters who have already made a permanent move here. Well, six, excluding Austin."

"Five, excluding Austin," I corrected sharply.

There was a long silence, and out of the corner of my eye, Ophelia paled.

"My mistake," Lochan agreed smoothly. "Five, excluding Austin. What else would you suggest going forward?"

Meera's leg was jittering next to mine under the table. Was that a genuine slip of the tongue? Or did he know about Iris?

"Some reassurance that this is, in fact, a genuine attempt at outreach, though, I don't know how you could provide that in a way we'd believe," I mused, before going off on a rambling tangent about the last time the Hunters had broken a good faith agreement. I flicked Damen under the table, and he got the hint, quietly slipping away to check on Iris.

It had to be her, right? That had to be the reason why they were here. Sebastian seemed enthusiastic enough that there may have been a thread of truth in what he was saying, but ultimately, returning Iris to the Nash family had to be their end goal.

They had no idea what they were up against.

Meera and I went our separate ways once we got back to Elverston House, both needing a little recovery time in our rooms after an intense morning, but we'd perked up by the time we headed to the palace for dinner.

I think we both felt like we had to after Lochan's comment. We both had to prove that there was no weirdness here. We weren't hiding a whole person. Nothing to see here.

As much as I wanted to see Evrin, I figured his shift wouldn't end until well after dinner. Maybe I'd meet him at the entry room again like I had one night before.

Sebastian and Lochan were making small talk with some Shades at a different table, and I relished the opportunity to have our spot back to ourselves.

"Where's Cora?" Meera asked.

I peered through the sea of horns and tall bodies, finally spotting her on the other side of the hall with a younger female Shade I didn't recognize, with glowing pink eyes just like Verity's mad duke.

"Over there, see?"

Meera followed my gaze, eyebrows lifting. "I have a good feeling about her. What about you?"

I hummed in agreement. "Her brother, not so much."

"Agreed," Meera said quietly as we took our seats, jumping in surprise when Astrid dropped down on the bench opposite us, scowling at nothing.

"How do you do that?" I asked, clutching my chest. "You're like a ghost."

"Most people—and Shades—are remarkably unobservant," Astrid deadpanned, a ray of sunshine as always. "How'd the meeting go? Ophelia said I wasn't allowed to come."

"Why not?" Meera asked.

"Something, something, pessimism. I don't know. I've been in the human realm all day, scoping out the portal on their side. How did it go?"

"I mean, it was mostly just talk. Idealism. You'd have hated it," I added with a laugh as she wrinkled her nose. I glanced around, making sure no one was listening in. "There was one weird comment from Lochan, though."

I leaned across the table and Astrid did the same while I mumbled out an explanation, my eyes occasionally flicking to where Lochan and Sebastian were sitting.

"Damen went to check on her?" Astrid confirmed, her lips barely moving. I nodded. "Alright."

She lightly slapped the table as she stood. "I'm going to find Soren. I'll see you around."

I was so distracted that it wasn't until the meal had started that I realized how quiet our table was. No suitors. No crowd of Shades squeezing onto the benches next to us.

In fact, we were getting some kind of weird looks.

No, I was.

I blew out a long breath, recognition setting in. "Meera, you might not want to be sitting with me. The Shades think I've caught hornless cooties."

Meera raised an eyebrow at me, breaking her piece of hard bread with both hands. "Hornless cooties?"

"It's a long story."

"No, it's not. Evrin doesn't have horns. It's pretty self-explanatory."

I choked a little on the piece of meat I'd been swallowing. I loved that she was opening up more, feeling a little more confident showing off what turned out to be a very sharp sense of humor.

"I'm quite enjoying being able to eat my bread and vegetables in peace," she added with a shrug, returning to her meal.

Well, okay then.

"Is it bothering you?" she pressed.

I looked around, mulling it over. "I don't care that no one is sitting with us. And I don't care if they shun me, but I'm mad on Evrin's behalf."

The moment I was finished eating, I pushed my plate away, ready to get out of here, before I started to rage perfume.

"He doesn't look mad," Meera said, nodding toward the door where Evrin had just walked in. Instantly, my mood lightened. This must be what drugs felt like.

"Do I have anything in my teeth?" I asked Meera frantically.

She shook her head, suppressing a smile. "You're good. You look beautiful. Go show that Shade some love in front of the whole court."

It couldn't have been a bad idea if Meera suggested it.

I headed down the side of the hall to meet Evrin halfway, keeping my shoulders back and walking with purpose. There was no shame, no shyness, here. That Shade was mine, and I didn't care what anyone thought about that.

"Everyone is staring," Evrin muttered, his shadows flicking around him in agitation.

"Good." I reached up, grabbing his jaw so I could pull his face to mine, and planted a firm kiss on his lips. "Hi, I missed you."

He blinked, seemingly in shock for a moment. "I missed you, too. I know it's getting late, but I was hoping to take you out while it's still light."

"Out?" I repeated in surprise. "Out where? Never mind, I don't care so long as you're there. Let's go."

I slid my hand into his, looking up expectantly for Evrin to lead the way out of the silent room. His mouth twitched as he squeezed my fingers, guiding us toward the door.

"You know," he began casually. "In this moment, with the most beautiful woman in the realm staring up at me, holding my hand, I feel like I have the biggest fucking horns in the realm."

I may not be able to smell emotions, but I could sense that those words hadn't come easy for Evrin. He was pushing himself to say them out loud for me.

"Good. I'm going to make you feel like that every day." I rested my head against his bicep, not trusting myself not to say anything else without crying. Fortunately, the crisp, fresh air outside helped me get my emotions back under control.

It was weird of me to feel so weepy in the first place. My emotions were always a rollercoaster, but they didn't normally include waterworks.

"Where are we going?" I asked, snuggling in close as Evrin led me to the portal.

"There's a cottage for sale that I thought I would show you, if you want—"

"Yes!" I squealed, barely resisting the urge to jump up and down. "Ooh, I'm so excited."

"Tell me about the meeting this morning."

I filled him in as we made our way through the in-between, keeping my voice low. Really low, which made me realize that Shade hearing was much better than I'd previously thought.

Evrin's responses were more muted than Astrid's, but his arm was tense beneath mine as I relayed Lochan's words.

"What do you think?" I asked.

"I think it's wise to be cautious around Lochan. And I hate that you are sleeping under the same roof as him."

"I don't love it either, but at least Iris isn't."

Evrin hummed, guiding me out of the in-between and into an entry room that seemed a lot smaller and lower than any of the others I'd been into.

"This is Carneath," Evrin said, pushing open the door, the sound of crashing waves and the smell of the ocean immediately greeting us.

"Wow," I breathed, stepping out and scanning the horizon. There was a meandering stone staircase that seemed to perfectly follow the curves and contours of the gray land, like it had formed as a natural part of the landscape. At the top of the stairs was a clifftop with small stone cottages scattered along it, though they were several hundred feet apart. "Evrin, this place is magical."

I tore my gaze away from the view to look up at him, finding him already staring down at me. "You like it?"

"I love it. It looks like a fairytale." I hesitated for a moment. "It looks expensive."

"Not at all," he replied, surprised. "Carneath is an ancient settlement. Shades used to be shorter than we are now—the internal beams in these homes are a hazard for anyone with horns."

"Which is conveniently not an issue for us," I said cheerfully, very much seeing the silver linings.

"No," he agreed wryly. "It's certainly an advantage I'd never considered before. Shall we? We're going to that one," he tilted his chin at the closest cottage, at the top of the stairs. "The owner has left it unlocked for us."

"Let's go!" I was already dragging him toward the steps, desperate to get a closer look.

"You don't think it would be too isolated for you out here?" Evrin asked.

I almost squealed at the seriousness of the question. The future it implied he was certain of. I'd been trying to keep my expectations at a firmly manageable level, but it was impossible when he talked like that.

"I don't think so."

There were other cottages, but they were so far away that they were barely noticeable along the cliff"s edge. "You could just drop me at the palace or Elverston House before your shift if I want to see everyone, right? Selene and Austin don't live at court, but Austin still seems to pop up pretty regularly."

"I'd had the same thoughts. And my shifts in the in-between don't need to be as long as they are—I can reduce them, or take more frequent breaks should you wish to return home during the day," he said, seeming as though he was mostly thinking out loud to himself.

"Home," I sighed dreamily, one of my inside thoughts making its way out of my head. Evrin gave my waist a gentle squeeze, fussing over me as we climbed the stairs before promptly tripping over one himself.

"They were designed for shorter Shades," he pointed out, nudging me as I attempted to squash my smile. "As you'll see when we get up to the cottage. This area is very old."

I hummed, examining the rough-hewn stone steps with new eyes. My parents had once taken me to Greece to attend a Hunters gathering, and these stairs reminded me a lot of the ones we'd seen in Rhodes. They were old old.

"I wonder if the Hunters—back when they were the Hunted—ever lived here. Maybe Shades weren't so giant back when they were knocking up my kind on the regular?" I suggested. "You know, shrunken down by those human genes."

"You might be onto something there," Evrin murmured, absently touching his hair with his free hand. The lack of horns did give his head a far more human shape. Maybe it was more of a recessive gene than… curse, or whatever it was being attributed to?

He pushed open the heavy wooden front door, and I could have sworn my heart stopped for a moment. "Oh, Evrin, it's beautiful. The ceiling! Oh my god. That is incredible."

Right above the sitting area was a circular window in the roof, made up of glass panels in a decorative pattern. But what made it truly spectacular was the ledge below it, which housed shimmering pots of vines, with fine string crisscrossing beneath the glass for them to grow along. The swirling sky was only just visible through bright gaps in the leafy foliage, lending what could have felt like an overly exposed space a very cozy feel.

"It's so striking," I murmured, stepping away from Evrin's hold to explore the small but functional kitchen just off the entrance, with low beams that would have absolutely caused chaos for someone with horns.

There was a bathroom—with hot water from an underground spring—and three small bedrooms dotted around the outside of the central living area. The back of the cottage opened up to a stone patio that overlooked the churning black ocean at the base of the cliff. It was incredible. Like something out of a dream.

"It's not perfect," Evrin said worriedly. "But it is liveable. And has potential."

"Very liveable," I agreed, running my fingers over the disintegrating curtains. My days of sewing drapes apparently weren't over, but I was feeling a lot more confident in my skills now, at least.

"Do you like it?" Evrin asked, leaning against the doorway, looking fucking delicious. "It's okay if you don't. We can keep looking."

"I love it, but are you sure about this?" I felt my face heat. "I don't have a job. I should get a job."

"I can comfortably afford this," he assured me. "I've been living in the barracks for free for years, and the low beams make these cottages not particularly appealing for Shade buyers. They're very inexpensive."

"But they're perfect, magical, fairytale cottages!" I objected. If I had horns, I'd just crouch. Or wear squishy little horn toppers so I didn't impale myself on the beams. This house was worth the inconvenience.

Evrin laughed out loud at that. "Perfect for us, perhaps. Do you want to live here with me, Tallulah? You don't have to right away, of course," he added hastily. "Regardless, I am more than ready to get out of the barracks."

I bit my lip, trying to hide my smile, but Evrin didn't let me. He carefully gripped my chin, tugging my lip free of my teeth until he got the full, cheesy grin I'd been trying to disguise—with a side of borderline hysterical giggles to boot.

"Yes, I want that."

"Then I'm going to make that happen."

How was I meant to manage expectations when I was already falling in love with him?