Chapter 14

There was an inconvenient fluttering feeling in my throat when I looked at Evrin, standing tall and proud in the daylight, having taken charge of the new Hunters and delivered them here. As much as I desperately wanted to be over him, last night had made it pretty obvious that I wasn't.

I'd woken up jittery from how horny my dreams had made me. Taking care of myself had been such a time-consuming ordeal that I'd missed breakfast, because one orgasm absolutely hadn't cut it. My vagina had developed a Pavlovian response to Evrin's presence, and I wasn't sure how long it would take to train myself out of it.

But at least I now had a really good distraction to keep me occupied.

"Come on," I told Sebastian, Lochan, and Cora. "I'll show you to Elverston House where you'll be staying."

"What about our stuff?" Lochan asked.

"I'm sure it'll be brought along shortly," Meera said appeasingly. After it had been searched for weapons. Something about Lochan's smile made me feel uneasy, but it might have just been the borderline blinding veneers. Those things could have lit the way through the in-between like a beacon.

On the other hand, Cora seemed so genuinely happy to be here that I felt bad for being suspicious of Lochan's intentions. Surely, he wouldn't have brought his bright-eyed and bushy-tailed little sister here if his motives were malicious.

Sebastian, with his false charm and somehow smug walk, I could definitely do without. But the duke wasn't my cup of tea, either. Verity had strange taste in men.

"So," Cora began, bouncing slightly with each step as we made our way through the gardens toward Elverston House. While we weren't being obviously followed, I had no doubt there was someone shadowing us. "What's it like here? Are you happy? Do you have a significant other? What do you eat? Do you miss your phone?"

I'd gotten so used to comfortable silence living with just Meera, that it took my brain a moment to process the bombardment of words.

"Definitely not to the last one," I laughed. I'd never been a fan of my phone even in the human realm, and I'd been living as off-grid as I could manage before I'd made the move here, so the adjustment hadn't been too difficult for me to make. "I'm happy. I'm dating, still finding my feet. There are plenty of food options, though, they are mostly meat-based. Meera is working on a vegetable garden. It's coming along really well."

Meera shot me a small, grateful smile, though I could see that she had shrunk in on herself slightly with the new arrivals. I had no doubt she was going to vanish into the garden the moment it was socially acceptable for her to leave, and that would be the last I'd see of her for hours.

"Wow," Cora whispered, staring up at Elverston House as we turned off the main path, heading up the smaller one that led to the front doors. "This is where we're staying?"

"This is where we're staying?" her brother repeated, far less enthusiastically. "I thought that Hunters were supposed to be all special and valued here. This place is a ruin."

"Come now, Lochan," Sebastian laughed, though it was in a very inauthentic, salesman-on-the-golf-course kind of way. "It might be nicer on the inside."

"It's not," I replied cheerfully. "But it's a private residence within walking distance of the palace—regular walking, not shadow walking, so we can get here without assistance. That's not usual in the shadow realm. Geographically, things are often pretty spread out, since distance isn't an obstacle for Shades. No Shades are permitted to enter the grounds of Elverston House, so this area is a safe haven of sorts—just for us." I shrugged. "It needs a little love, but we've been working on making it more comfortable."

I'd gotten more defensive about it than I'd intended to, but I think something about the grand, dilapidated building sort of spoke to me.

It just needed some love.

Ten out of ten, could relate.

"I, er, don't suppose Verity lives here?" Sebastian asked hopefully.

"No," I said flatly. "Prince Damen wasn't joking—don't let Verity's mate hear you so much as speak her name, or he will turn you into shadows. Whatever you thought you saw of Verity in the human realm, you didn't. Not the real her. She has a life here, she's happy here, and she did what she had to do to get back here. Do you understand?"

He swallowed loudly. "I understand."

Meera coughed lightly, probably a little shocked at my bluntness, while I side-eyed Sebastian for a little longer so he knew I was serious. If I was being gracious, I would accept that he didn't know how permanent and unbreakable a mating bond was. That he didn't fully realize that he had no shot with Verity, if that's what he was even hoping for. But I wasn't feeling gracious. Honestly, I'd been in a weirdly foul mood all day, even with the orgasms, and I couldn't seem to snap out of it. PMS, probably.

"We gathered as much," Lochan said evenly. "That Verity had perhaps misled us," he clarified.

"Outwitted, more like," Cora laughed, nudging her brother out of the way so she could head inside right after me. She looked at the high, arched ceilings and stone floor with the same awe that I'd felt when I first came here. Like she was seeing something magical and filled with potential, and it sparked the memory of that feeling within me as well. The weight of uncertainty and heartbreak and disappointment had been weighing on me, making me second-guess my decisions. But moving to the shadow realm had been a good one. And the pain I'd felt recently was kind of better than not feeling anything. In a weird way, it was kind of reassuring to know that I could get out of my own head long enough to feel so strongly about someone else that their absence could hurt me.

"Two of the rooms upstairs—Astrid's and Verity's old ones—are cleared out and ready for new occupants," I said, mostly thinking out loud. "We'll have to open up another one."

"I'll get the cleaning supplies," Meera volunteered, veering off at the base of the stairs while I led the trio up, vaguely giving them a guided tour, though there wasn't that much to say. Most of the rooms were still closed off to minimize the amount of maintenance we had to do.

Cora took Astrid's old room, and Lochan went into Verity's. The afternoon passed quickly as all five of us worked to make up beds and clear a dust-coated bedroom for Sebastian's use. The luggage was deposited at the boundary line at some point, and if anything was missing from their bags, none of them mentioned it while they unpacked. I liked to hope that if they'd been carrying weapons, one of the Guard would have let Meera and I know for our own safety, so I assumed that hadn't been the case.

"I'm going to wash up," I announced, smoothing over the quilt on the freshly made bed. "Dinner is a couple of hours away in the palace dining hall, but the bathing room downstairs is a communal space, so we're going to have to be… courteous of each other."

Maybe I should have taken Ophelia up on the whole move-to-the-palace idea, if only for the private bathroom. But living in the palace would be like living under a microscope. I need the seclusion of Elverston House to have my freakouts in peace.

I bathed quickly before heading back up to my room and picking out a dress for tonight, selecting a dark red one that I perhaps wouldn't have chosen if I hadn't seen Evrin earlier, standing around looking unfairly attractive.

That asshole.

I'd made the dress myself, tailored perfectly to my size, but it wasn't fitting well at all as I tugged it into place, fussing with the side zipper to try to get it up. Had I been stress eating? Probably. Still, it hadn't gotten stuck over the middle where I'd expect it to. It was the top I was having trouble with.

I knew my measurements. I'd known them for years, and I knew which parts of me were prone to gaining and losing inches. My bust, historically, was not one of those places. And yet, this dress was constrictingly tight around my breasts, there was no doubt about it.

Ugh, was I having another growth spurt at thirty? That would be incredibly unreasonable, since I finally had a collection of bras that actually fit me, and there were no lingerie stores in the shadow realm.

By the time I made it downstairs—in a far less form-fitting blue dress—everyone else was gathered and ready. Sebastian and Lochan looked vaguely uncomfortable in their business casual outfits, while Cora was dolled up to the nines in a slinky black dress and strappy gold heels, though it was definitely the blood-red lipstick that would catch everyone's attention.

I wondered if Lochan realized the same thing, since he was scowling so heavily. "Can we make some kind of announcement at dinner that Cora is only eighteen since she insists on dressing like a twenty-five-year-old?"

"Misogyny isn't a good look on you," Cora said with a sugary-sweet smile. "I can dress however I want."

"You look lovely," I told her, though she was young, and I was absolutely going to be making sure that no Shades got pushy with her. "You're in control here, okay? Always. And we're here to help if you want support or a hand to hold or an exit strategy," I added, gesturing between Meera and myself. "Deal?"

Cora squealed, throwing her arms around my shoulders to give me a quick hug. "Deal. You're the best."

Meera had discreetly taken a step back, and I was glad to see Cora read her body language in real time and only offered her a smile.

Unsurprisingly, the dining hall was even more packed than usual. The news of fresh Hunters must have spread, and while our usual spot at the front of the room was free, it looked a lot more cramped than usual—especially considering there were three more of us now.

It felt a bit like my very first meal in the dining hall all over again, with Shades craning their necks to try to catch a glimpse. I knew no one was looking at me, but the general attention in my direction made my face heat anyway.

"Wow," Sebastian breathed. "This is incredible."

He was looking around constantly, scanning the room, and I wondered if he was trying to spot Verity in the crowd. He wouldn't find her, though. She'd be tucked up in her mansion right now, in a nest of fluffy pink blankets, living her best life.

"Yes," Lochan agreed, his response far more muted. "It's much bigger and more organized than I expected."

I eyed him warily, hoping the captain had set a member of the Guard on Lochan's ass. We were from similarly high-ranking families and had run in the same circles, though I'd never interacted with him directly since he was a good decade older than I was. At least with Sebastian, there was the Verity factor working in his favor. Maybe he had good, albeit misguided, intentions.

But Lochan had everything to gain by participating in the Hunters Council's corrupt system, and nothing to gain by leaving it.

I was glad that the call had been made to keep Iris hidden away. Her mother was powerful, and I wouldn't have been surprised at all to discover that Lochan's angle in coming here was just recon on behalf of Moriah Nash.

I'd been so distracted by my musings that, for once, I hadn't automatically scanned the dining hall for Evrin the moment I walked in, but suddenly he was there, right in front of me.

Meera was ushering the others onward, eager to get to the table, and my good manners wouldn't allow me to just march off and ignore him.

Okay, maybe it was a little more than just manners keeping me in place.

"I didn't realize you were so fond of eating in the dining hall."

"Neither did I. I've been learning a lot of new things about myself recently." He leaned against the wall, serene as could be. Everyone gave us a wide berth, and I wondered what it would be like to just walk around, not being jostled constantly. "How are you feeling about your new housemates?"

"Fine."

I may as well have "not fine" tattooed on my forehead because that tone wasn't convincing anyone.

Evrin grinned, like my petulance was amusing to him. "You don't sound fine."

"What would you know about how I sound?"

I wished I could take the words back the moment I'd said them. There was an extra glint of teeth as Evrin's smile widened, his shadows seeming to curl toward me of their own volition.

Evrin knew a little something about how I sounded at least some of the time, but he politely didn't call me out on that. Not with words, at least. His expression was impressively loud, though.

"Well, great chat. I'm hungry," I announced, flipping my hair over my shoulder as I stepped around him, half stomping to my usual table. Evrin didn't quite dog my footsteps, but he did follow me.

And annoyingly, I kind of liked it. In the human realm, at 5'5, I was solidly average height for a woman. Here, I was dwarfed by even the smallest Shades, and moving around the packed dining hall was always a stressful experience.

Maybe Evrin was a fiercer fighter than his gentle giant disposition let on, because the crowd parted like the Red Sea when he appeared. It was bewildering and intimidating and nice all at once. The fear that I was going to be knocked into a table had all but vanished, but the fact that everyone responded to him this way was kind of weird. Like there was a bright, glittery red flag that was apparently obvious to everyone else but that I'd missed entirely.

I was being paranoid, right? Right. That was the intrusive thoughts talking. I liked to think that I knew Evrin… Okay, not that well. He actually had said very little about his personal life. But I was a good judge of character, wasn't I? And Damen liked him, which was a vote of confidence. Except for the fact that they used to be party buddies back in the day, and that was how they knew each other.

Shoot, I didn't really know this guy at all.

"Your table is a little more crowded tonight," Evrin observed.

"Very astute of you to notice."

Evrin laughed quietly, though it sounded loud to me. It echoed in my head and wrapped around my bones, encasing me in a feeling of false safety. How frustrating that I'd so easily given him the power to make me feel this way, and yet it was such a fight to get it back.

It wasn't until I was standing behind the group of new Hunters that I realized there really wasn't any room for me. Maybe there would be if I spoke up and asked them to squeeze up for me, but just the thought of doing that made my throat feel fluttery with panic. What if they said no? What if they were annoyed by my request? I could just find somewhere else to sit. It wasn't worth putting someone else out—

"Is there room for one more?" Evrin asked smoothly, leaning around me to speak to Sebastian. Judging by the way Sebastian startled, I was almost positive he exploded with some kind of unpleasant fear response scent, but Evrin didn't let on. He simply stood back and waited for them to move before lightly touching the base of my spine, encouraging me forward.

Goose bumps broke out along my arms as he leaned in to speak in my ear. "How is it that you're so good at speaking up for everyone else, hm? Enjoy your dinner, Tallulah."

And then he was gone as if he'd never been there. I sat down on shaky legs, ignoring Meera's probing look from the other side of the table, as I mentally reset my "getting over Evrin" scale back to zero.