Chapter 1

Being nice was exhausting.

My cheeks hurt from smiling, my heels were pinching my toes, and I'd been ready to leave this ball at least an hour ago, but I didn't want to look rude by making an early escape when clearly, this whole thing had been put on for the benefit of myself and the other single Hunters—former Hunters?—who'd moved here to the shadow realm.

It suited some of our personalities better than others.

Verity laughed loudly, lounging elegantly in her chair, surrounded by admirers and holding out her goblet for a refill. Striving to emulate her bright, relaxed demeanor, I batted my eyelashes and smiled coyly at the Shade offering to top up my own wine, wondering if I was pulling off effortless grace the way Verity was.

Fake it 'til you make it. Fake it 'til you make it.

"It seems a shame to see you dressed in shadows," a Shade next to me murmured, their claw drifting over the top of the shadow dress Phileas had formed for me. "When you're such a vision in color. You always wear such beautiful garments."

"Thank you," I said earnestly, grateful for both the compliment and a chance to talk about something that I was actually familiar with. "I make them myself. I love to sew."

"You make them yourself?" he asked, sounding suitably impressed, and I puffed up slightly in my seat. I was wearing a gorgeous strapless emerald green number beneath the shadows, which I was hoping I'd get a chance to show off at some point to make the suffering the boning in the bodice was causing me worthwhile. "Where did you learn such a skill?"

"It was something my grandmother taught me." The tension eased out of my stiff neck and shoulders ever so slightly as we chatted about it, the conversation leading me back to the few fond memories I had of visiting my grandparents' grand home when I was young.

Eventually, the chat petered out, through no fault of the Shade valiantly trying to flirt with me. I was overstimulated, overtired, and floundering in my attempts to sound like the sultry, funny, personable ex-Hunter everyone seemed to assume I was.

I didn't know if I was good at lying to them or lying to myself that my scent didn't give away any hint of discomfort. Maybe it was a little of both.

"Would you excuse me for a moment?" I said with my most sunniest of smiles, standing up and making my way through the crowded room, my heels clicking against the stone floor with every step. Someone had thrown open a usually shut side door, letting some air into the stuffy room and allowing guests to access the overgrown circular courtyard in the center of the spiral-shaped palace.

Perhaps because it was so overgrown—and a little creepy—the courtyard was blessedly empty, and only just illuminated enough to prevent Shades from shadow walking into it. Or maybe it was the faint chill in the air, keeping everyone inside near the warm glow of the open flames dotted around the dining hall in towering metal torches.

The shadows I'd been wearing vanished the moment I moved out of whatever the magical distance was between myself and Phileas, and even though I'd wanted to show off my dress, I suddenly felt overexposed in the night air with my shoulders and arms on display.

At least there was no one to see me out here. I made my way farther into the overgrowth, letting the sounds of the ball grow muted behind me. I'd always liked the dark. I let it wrap around me, hiding my tomato-red cheeks and ostentatious dress.

You're being ridiculous, the nagging voice in the back of my head reminded me. This event is for the ex-Hunters. It's for you. They've made an effort, you need to do the same. You're supposed to be getting to know the Shades, you're supposed to be making connections. Maybe even finding The One.

But what if I didn't find The One? What would The One even look like? I didn't even know what I was looking for. I didn't understand the culture, or the history, or the seemingly rigid class structure that appeared to go unexamined. I was intrigued by Shade features—and I found them beautiful in an aesthetic sense—but I'd never fantasized about monster fucking the way some of the others who'd moved here had. I didn't dislike the physical differences between us, but I couldn't pretend I wasn't intimidated by them.

I definitely hadn't had an instant belly-fluttering-panties-soaking reaction to anyone yet. And what if I never did? What if I couldn't feel attraction to anyone? Honestly, I hadn't had a great track record of it in the human realm either. I'd assumed the worst of every man who'd ever so much as glanced at me.

None of this is going toimprove by you hiding out here all alone, I told myself sternly. You need to put yourself out there. Flirt more. See if a connection develops.

There was a circular waist-height stone wall in the center of the courtyard, with overgrown, haphazard bushes planted at even intervals, almost hiding the wall completely.

I slipped my feet out of my heels, almost moaning at the cool sensation of smooth stone under my aching feet, and carefully lowered myself to the ground, trying not to snag my outfit as I wriggled back between two of the bushes to sit against the wall. The dress was a formfitting number and not the most comfortable to curl up in, but I was cold enough that it was worth the extra effort to wrap my arms around my knees.

It wasn't ideal—I'd have preferred somewhere a little more confined and a whole lot warmer to curl up and talk myself down, but beggars couldn't be choosers.

Five minutes. I just needed five minutes to collect myself, and then I'd head back inside and be more charming and more flirty and more vivacious. But for right now, I didn't need my scent broadcasting that I wasn't as confident as I appeared.

"Sorry to interrupt, but should you be out here?" a low, soothing voice asked, making me startle so hard that if the snagging branches hadn't been in the way, I would have cracked my head on the stone wall.

I clutched my chest like I could physically grab my heart and stop it from beating at such an alarming rate, squinting through the leaves and scanning what I could see of the courtyard in front of me.

"Who are you? Where are you?" I winced a little at my own bluntness. Apparently, my goal for this evening was to make as many poor first impressions as possible. Then again, I was already sitting in a bush. What were a few unpolished words at this point?

"On your left."

I startled, realizing the voice was coming from beside me. Peering through the leafy charcoal-colored bush I was sitting by, I found a pair of glowing navy eyes staring right back at me. To my surprise, I didn't immediately shriek and run away, which is probably what a sensible person would have done at finding a pair of glowing monster eyes staring intently at them through a bush.

Maybe I was acclimatizing to life in the shadow realm better than I thought.

"Should you be out here?" he repeated, sounding oddly amused by the awkward situation we'd found ourselves in.

"Should you?" I countered. I mean, yes, I was hiding in a bush. But that was because my nerves would probably make me throw up if I didn't. What was his excuse?

"Doubtful," he replied easily. "But I don't like crowds, and crowds don't like me. I'll leave if I'm making you uncomfortable—I'm a member of the Guard, if it helps. If I cause you so much as an ounce of distress, the captain will publicly execute me in front of the entire court."

"That's not necessary," I said hastily, wondering if I should be a little more wary about Captain Soren. "I'm not distressed. My name is Tallulah, by the way."

"I'm Evrin." He paused for a long moment. "So, why are you sitting in the bushes?"

"You first."

He made an endearing sound that might have been amusement. "I usually don't… attend these things. I'm not used to them. They aren't used to me being here. Your turn."

I opened my mouth, intending to give him a generic answer about the warm room and fresh air, but that wasn't what came out. Perhaps because there had been a thread of vulnerability in his voice, and it had reached out to pull on the many vulnerabilities that were swirling around in my head.

"Sometimes, when I'm talking to people I don't know very well, my skin feels too tight for my body and my head gets fuzzy, and I kind of want to throw up, but I don't want anyone to see that because that would be humiliating. And my face is sore from smiling and I feel like everyone can tell that I'm faking it? But they all think I'm so happy and confident, so maybe they can't tell. I don't know anymore. So I came out here to just take a minute to pull myself together so I can go back in and be more convincing next time."

I sucked in some oxygen, my face growing increasingly hot as the realization of just how much I'd said out loud slowly hit. Oh my god, I'd just totally trauma dumped on a total stranger in a dark garden in the middle of the night. Maybe this was an arrested development thing. I'd never gone to parties in college, gotten drunk on seltzer, and unloaded all of my emotional damage on strangers. No time like the present, apparently.

My face was hot, but the rest of me was cold, and my teeth chattered in the extended silence, my breath coming out in awkwardly loud shudders.

"Your coldness is extremely distracting."

There was some rustling, and I squeaked in surprise as an enormous Shade suddenly crawled around the bush toward me, swearing under his breath as a branch snagged on his slightly overlong, floppy hair. I did a double take, not having seen that kind of hairstyle on any other Shades in the realm.

"What are you doing?!"

"Your teeth are so… rattly," Evrin replied distractedly, squeezing into the tiny gap to my right, carefully not touching me. "I'm shielding you from the wind."

"Oh. Okay."

Objectively, it was a very high-handed thing to do. And an invasion of my personal space. And, especially considering the empty courtyard and the discreet spot I'd tucked myself into, it should have made me feel deeply uncomfortable to have a strange male—Shade or human—squeezing in right next to me.

Especially after my impromptu confessional.

I waited for those objections to form on my tongue, but they never came. Presumably, my scent wasn't doing anything off-putting either. Evrin's nose didn't even twitch.

"Um, thank you."

A branch had gotten tangled in his hair, and I reached up in the free space between us to tug it loose. Evrin leaned away, glancing at me in shock, and my face heated all over again as I shot him a sheepish smile.

"Sorry. There's, um, a branch…" It came free with a gentle pull, and I wrapped my arms around my waist, tucking my hands beneath my elbows before they went wandering and freaked him out again.

"It's fine," he said gruffly. "I thought you were looking at something else."

I nodded as though I understood, though I absolutely didn't. He was blocking the breeze more than I'd expected though, which was lovely. Honestly, I kind of wanted to wriggle closer, to see if I could steal a little body heat, too. The fact that he was more interested in plucking vines and leaves out of his hair than looking at me probably helping. Honestly, he seemed pretty ambivalent about my presence, if anything.

"Am I able to move a little closer?" I asked tentatively. "For warmth?"

Huh. Weirdly, in all of my actual attempts at flirting since I'd arrived in the shadow realm, this was the only time I'd felt that sort of self-conscious, giggly, shy flirty energy. Historically, that was more authentically me than the bold, eyelash-batting, coy-smiling flirting I'd been doing here, but I also didn't like being authentically me, so it wasn't exactly a win.

I liked people thinking I had my shit together.

"Sure."

I scooched over slightly, until my bare arm pressed against his solid one, the shadows he was cloaked in tickling my skin. His arm felt massive, and solid as a rock, and while I didn't think that was something I'd been particularly attracted to, there was the faintest hint of a belly flutter at the contact.

"You've stopped trembling," Evrin noted, relaxing slightly next to me.

"Have I?" I hadn't even noticed, though the cold didn't feel quite as bitter as it had a few moments ago. "Thank you. I really appreciate you taking pity on the weird lady you found in the bushes."

Evrin snorted. "It's a vast improvement on how I imagined the night going."

I blinked in surprise, which reminded me that I'd subjected my eyelids to false lashes—another layer of overstimulation to deal with. "Why did you come? Was it mandatory?"

"Yes and no. So many members of the Guard wanted to attend as guests—to try to impress the ex-Hunters, I assume—that they were short of guards on duty. Usually, I don't patrol outside of my own area, but I agreed to tonight. I did warn the Lieutenant that I'd spend most of the night out here."

"Lurking in the bushes," I teased, nudging his arm lightly.

He laughed—a rusty, and somehow adorable sound. "Something like that, yes."

"It sounds like you've got quite a lot of freedom in the Guard?" I hedged, trying to make sense of it. I'd assumed that the Guard were all much of a muchness below Captain Soren and Selene, the Lieutenant. Maybe there was more of a hierarchy than I'd thought.

"I suppose. They need me more than I need them," Evrin replied simply. Confident, but not arrogant.

It made the whole confined space situation infinitely more dangerous—mostly for my self-control. Evrin had a sense of ease about him that I'd only ever encountered a few times in my life—the girl in middle school who used to link our arms and drag me around the playground singing Céline Dion at the top of her voice. What was her name again? Or Kaia, in high school, who'd dressed like an anime character before it was cool and let negative opinions run off her back like water. Evrin possessed the same unbothered energy that they did, and I'd always gravitated to those kinds of people, hoping some of that self-assurance would osmosis its way over to me.

"You weren't eager to get flirty with the ex-Hunters tonight?" I joked, mostly to show him that I was capable of being cool and funny, and not a walking, talking ball of neuroses like my anxiety speech had probably indicated.

"Flirty is not a word usually associated with me," he replied, with such perfect dryness in his voice that I couldn't help but laugh. "Though, I was curious about all of you. I'll admit that."

"About us ex-Hunters? That's a very reasonable thing to be curious about." I settled in a little more, Evrin's arm warm and solid where it pressed against mine. I was suddenly desperate to drag this conversation out, to get him to stay out here with me just a little longer. "If you have any questions, I could answer them for you."

"That's very accommodating of you," Evrin said after a pause, gently tucking some vines into the bush next to him before resting his head back against the wall. He was so much taller than me that the top of my head only reached his shoulder. "I guess you're not in a hurry to get back inside and resume faking enthusiasm for the ball."

Looks like he'd been paying attention to my ramble after all.

"I'm not in any rush, no," I agreed sheepishly, wondering what Hunter embarrassment smelled like to Shades, since they could apparently sniff out all of our feelings, and negative ones were supposedly an unpleasant scent.

I didn't have a degradation kink personally, but my mind wandered off on a side quest, contemplating how much it would suck to be enjoying humiliation and then start smelling like rancid milk midway through the act.

"I had assumed from watching you all in there that all Hunters were social creatures."

"All Hunters—ex-Hunters—aren't any one thing, as I'm sure all Shades aren't either," I replied, before softening my words with a smile, knowing that I didn't always come across as warmly as I intended to.

"A very reasonable point," Evrin replied, a hint of amusement in his voice. At least he didn't get offended by my correction and call me a snob. "Hm, what was I curious about when it came to Hunters? I'll admit, this entire interaction has thrown me slightly. You're already shifting the image I had in my mind."

"In a good way, I hope?" The history between our kinds was never far from my mind. Hunters had spent centuries actively killing Shades, and the rediscovery of the old dynamic that used to exist between our kinds—one where we co-existed—was new and fragile. While I hadn't encountered anyone at court who wanted me gone, those Shades did exist, and I didn't blame them for it.

There was a very good chance they'd lost loved ones at the hands of my kind.

"Yes. In a good way." He went quiet for a moment before speaking again. "I've only ever encountered your kind in your realm, where Shades are so defenseless. It didn't occur to me how much more… fragile you would seem in this realm."

That thought had occurred to me almost hourly since I'd moved here, though, not while I'd been out in the courtyard. "Should I be nervous?"

"I'm not going to hurt you."

I didn't have any real reason to believe him, and yet I did. Maybe it was just that he had such a settling presence about him. Maybe it was because of how carefully he'd disentangled himself from the vines and branches, gently tucking them back into the bush without breaking them.

That had to be a green flag, right?

"Do you believe me?" he asked, twisting slightly to look at me. "I'll leave if I'm making you uncomfortable."

"No, no, I believe you. You'd smell if I was nervous. Or any other kind of heightened emotion. Do I smell unpleasant?"

It sort of sounded like I was fishing for compliments, though it had been a genuine question. Whatever chemicals we put out that made our emotions smell obvious to Shades weren't detectable to human noses.

"No. You smell fine."

Okay, I hadn't been fishing for compliments, but I wouldn't have complained if he'd slipped one my way. Maybe living in the shadow realm was going to my head—I was getting too used to being complimented every second of the day just for existing. This was different. This was the first time I'd actually wanted a Shade to flirt with me since I'd arrived here.

Maybe I just wanted what I couldn't have.

"Why did you come to the shadow realm?" Evrin asked, moving right along.

I shrugged, mirroring his nonchalance. "I needed a change. I hadn't been part of the Hunters for a while. There was no love lost there on my part. I guess I felt like I was getting one over on them by coming here."

I doubted anyone cared, aside from my immediate family perhaps, but even those relationships had been strained in recent months.

The other reason that I'd come here—that I'd had nothing going on in my life, and desperately wanted to crawl out of my own skin and everything that had ever touched it—was less cute, so I kept that one to myself.

"You don't have parents?" Evrin asked bluntly.

"I do. They're Hunters first. Parents second."

"Ah." He didn't apologize for bringing up what was clearly a difficult subject. I wondered what that would be like, walking through life without second guessing every word that came out of your mouth and whether they'd been offensive to someone, even unintentionally. "I'd offer to answer your questions, but I presume you have some kind of welcoming committee of Shades to do that for you."

"Not quite. We have Ophelia—who is amazing, of course—but she's answering questions from a human perspective." Honestly, it would have been really helpful to have a Shade we could speak to privately, but I guess the king was worried that we'd feel too much pressure and leave if there was so much as a single Shade in our presence at Elverston House.

"You can ask me," Evrin offered, tipping his head back against the wall, one leg bent and his arm draped over his knee. He was the very picture of languid ease, and I kind of wanted to crawl into his lap and absorb that sense of calm through my pores.

My scent might start making things awkward soon, because I was definitely starting to have a physical reaction. The more unbothered Evrin was, the more I contemplated having rabid, filthy sex with him.

I was glad there were no therapists in the shadow realm, so I didn't have to feel guilty about not going.

Should I… try to seduce him?

The idea had never occurred to me before. I honestly wasn't sure I had it in me. Verity ate Shades for breakfast, but she was drop-dead gorgeous and a ray of sunshine no matter who she was speaking to.

Still, I could try. Right? There was no one around to witness my humiliation if Evrin rejected me. And he said he wasn't usually at these things, so I'd never have to see him again.

I could do this.

I could channel my inner Aphrodite, and try to get laid in this courtyard. Or at least do the Shade equivalent of getting his number.

Just… be sexy. It can't be that hard. Right?

"I don't know that the questions I have are appropriate for strangers," I said with a slightly hysterical giggle that I didn't quite tamp down in time.

Oh god, I was terrible at this.

Evrin angled himself to look at me better, and I forced myself to be brave and hold his gaze, admiring the sharp planes of his cheeks and the kind of jawline that humans paid good money for. To be honest, I'd never had a good memory for faces, and with Shades, their facial features were humanoid, but also very much not at the same time.

Aside from the dark blue eyes—which weren't an uncommon color at court—and floppy hair, I wasn't sure there was anything that would particularly make me remember this dude's face again if I ran into him around the palace.

"Hmm, not appropriate for strangers… It wouldn't be about our anatomy, would it?" he asked lazily. "I'm sure we're all curious about yours, and this supposed compatibility between us."

Alright, this was heading in the right direction. Maybe I wasn't as terrible at this as I'd assumed.

"It's hard not to be curious about that," I admitted, glancing at his claws. "We're very… fragile, compared to you."

"Everywhere?"

I felt his gaze on my bare legs.

"Everywhere," I confirmed. "Your claws would, um, shred us. You know. Down there."

"Well, of course. We don't use those on female Shades either. Down there."

Oh. That was reassuring to know. I'd sort of assumed female Shades' lady bits were made of more durable stuff, and I'd been worried that would make me vulnerable with a Shade partner who might not comprehend how delicate I was.

There were no human doctors here, and I didn't want to have to stitch up my own vagina.

"Is it true you can take a knot?" Evrin asked eventually.

"Is it true you have a knot?"

He laughed, a rich, warm sound that traveled down the length of my body. "It is."

Can I see it?

I didn't say that, of course. I just thought it. I had to work the conversation in that direction in a natural, flirtatious way that definitely involved both of us getting naked in this bush.

In the back of my mind was a small voice valiantly trying to remind me that I, a) wasn't an exhibitionist, and b) was probably just ovulating. But I ruthlessly silenced that little traitor because I didn't want to hear it.

Evrin's inhale was shamelessly deep. "What does that scent indicate? If it's mere curiosity… well, it's certainly enticing."

"It's a little more than curiosity," I admitted raspily. "But there is that, too. I won't pretend that I haven't been nervous about the logistics of it all. I'm very… intrigued about how it all works."

There was another low, rumbling laugh that seemed to come right from the depths of Evrin's chest. "That makes two of us. This is probably an incredibly inappropriate suggestion, but if you wanted to see, just for exploratory purposes—"

"Yes."

Way to play it cool, Tallulah.

My new friend—surely we were friends if he was showing me his dick—swept aside his shadows like he was opening curtains, revealing a thick, semi-hard penis lying against his thigh. I did my best to tamp down my reaction, not wanting to freak Evrin out, but I'd always been a very visual person.

And it was so smooth, disrupted only by ridged veins that I wanted to trace with my tongue.

It was the prettiest dick I'd ever seen.

"The knot forms here," Evrin said, circling a claw oh-so gently at the base of his cock. "It swells once we reach completion. With Shade partners, we pull back so that the knot is on the outside as it causes them pain without adequate preparation. But there are rumors that the Hunters can… accommodate that part of our anatomy."

"I suppose we're kind of stretchy," I replied absently, still admiring his dick. I'd been desperate to see what all the hype was about since the moment I got here, just not desperate enough to actually get naked with any of the Shades courting me to make it happen.

My control-top panties were growing alarmingly damp, but Ophelia had warned us that we produced extra lubricant around Shades to accommodate them. While my brain was still catching up, my vagina knew exactly what to do.

Evrin froze, his cock hardening right in front of my eyes. When he inhaled this time, there was no languid playfulness to be found, but the intensity that replaced it seemed to work just as well for me. "Your scent…"

"It's a little more than just ‘fine' now?" I hazarded with a breathy laugh.

The sound he made wasn't quite a growl, but it was certainly close. It caused a faintly cramping sensation before another flood of arousal saturated the gusset of my panties.

"Can I move closer, Tallulah?"

Fuck. Me.

Just the way he said my name did strange things to my ovaries.

"Yes."

Evrin pushed the foliage over my head out of the way, angling his body slightly over mine, and dipping his head down while I tipped mine back so his nose could settle at the crook of my neck. His hair brushed against my jaw—the leathery texture of it oddly erotic against my skin. It was a reminder of just how very unhuman he was.

"That is…" Evrin took another long draw of my scent like he was settling down to his favorite meal at the end of a long day. "…exquisite. That answers a lot of my questions all on its own."

I laughed breathily, hyperaware of my body now that it was in such close proximity to his. The tight boning of my dress, the sudden achiness of my nipples, the increasingly sticky fabric of my panties. How long had it been since I'd had sex? Since I'd even been touched by someone—sexually or otherwise?

The incessant overthinking buzz in my head was blessedly quiet.

I parted my legs slightly, pheromoning all over the place, entirely aware of what I was doing. I was horny, I was attracted to Evrin's no-fucks-given attitude, and that was as deep as I needed to get.

Evrin groaned, nuzzling in a little closer. There was a faint tickle of something on my bare leg that may have been shadows, and I found myself arching into it, desperate for more.

"That's… really something," he rasped, his hands ghosting over the fabric of my dress, following the curves of my body as though he wasn't sure whether he was allowed to go any further.

"You are single, right?" I asked, squirming slightly against the cold, hard wall. I probably should have led with that question.

"Yes. Very."

"Then please touch me before I lose my mind."

I wasn't a small lady. I never had been, and I was completely fine with that. But it certainly sent a rush of something through me at the ease with which Evrin wrapped an arm around my waist and lifted me onto his lap facing him like I weighed nothing. I didn't know being tossed around was something I'd even wanted until that moment.

Evrin peered intently at me, clawed hands resting lightly on my hips as I batted vines away from our heads. "Are you sure about this?"

The fact that he asked only made me want him more.

"Yes. You're curious, I'm curious. I don't… expect anything from you—"

Evrin's hands were pushing my dress up over my thighs before I'd even finished speaking, and my brain went to that blissfully quiet space that I so rarely got to spend time in. There was no room for thinking when his claws were gently scraping my thighs, tugging my plain black cotton panties carefully to the side, one knuckle brushing near my clit until my hips started taking over, angling him in the right direction.

I was vaguely aware of a haze of darkness settling around us like someone had drawn a curtain of shadows for privacy. It was like a mini orgasm for my brain, which had always sought out small, dark places to relax in.

"This is incredibly disrespectful of me," Evrin murmured, not sounding entirely sorry about it. "We're mere feet away from the entire court. In public. On cold, hard ground."

"I don't mind being a little disrespected," I breathed, the tight seams of my dress stretching perilously with each movement.

Evrin made a rumbling noise of approval, watching my reactions closely as his knuckle explored. In general, it took me a few times with someone to feel confident enough to make demands of what I wanted in bed. But with Evrin, it felt like I'd skipped that first step, somehow. I boldly grabbed his wrist and guided him where I needed him, my eyes rolling back slightly the moment he brushed my clit.

"Right there," I gasped, circling my hips as I found my rhythm, vaguely aware that I was blatantly using him for my own pleasure. "A little harder."

He did exactly as I asked, watching me with a look of heated curiosity on his face that had me feeling like a goddess writhing above him. It helped that his other hand was kneading my thigh almost desperately, his smooth, dark cock standing at attention between us, the fat head of it glistening with silvery precum.

He kept inhaling deeply too, like there was nothing more satisfying than my scent.

Everything about his body language screamed that he wanted me, and it made it all feel so easy.

"I'm so wet," I whispered, which might have been dirty talk if I'd managed to say it in an even somewhat sexy way. Instead, I sounded confused and a little alarmed, because Ophelia's warning about "extra lubricant" really hadn't done justice to the waterfall situation that appeared to be happening between my thighs. It was sliding over his knuckles.

"It's your slick," Evrin replied in awe, tipping his head down to watch his hand work. "I didn't realize humans produced it."

He glanced up, his demeanor changing from obsessively horny to reassuring when he saw the look on my face.

"It's good, Tallulah." His voice was low and soothing, and the way he said my name sent a flutter through my stomach. "It means you'll be able to take me. Maybe this sweet little cunt will stretch around my knot after all."

I bit down on my lip to stifle my moans as an orgasm I didn't know I'd desperately needed bore down on me, briefly making my vision white out. The cold, hard ground and the vines determinedly tangling in my hair didn't exist. There was only Evrin, and me, and pleasure. So much pleasure, I thought I might die from it.

"I want to be inside you, Tallulah."

I made some muffled noise of agreement, clumsily pulling the fabric of my dress up over my hips—acutely aware that my underwear went up to my ribs to smooth everything out under this dress—and lifting myself up on my knees so he could line himself up at my entrance. Evrin was still holding my panties to the side, his claws perilously close to my sensitive flesh.

I'd never had sex anywhere other than on a bed, with the lights off, suitably disrobed and perfectly comfortable. Everything about this felt so… rebellious.

Evrin pulled me down a little, sliding the tip of his cock inside me. Even that was enough to be alarming. He was so inhuman, so thick.

"Easy," he murmured, one hand moving around to grip my ass, encouraging me to let gravity do the work, and I felt myself relaxing again at the smooth calmness in his voice. "Take your time. Fuck, you feel incredible. You're so slick for me. You're taking me so well."

For every quarter inch I moved, there was another compliment, and I hoarded them all greedily, hoping I'd remember every single one.

My vision blurred once I finally took all of him, the stretching sensation just on the right side of the pain-pleasure dichotomy.

Evrin groaned, writhing slightly beneath me. "The power coming off you… I've never felt anything like it. You're so… decadent."

It was borderline too many compliments. This was about sex—I didn't need to start swooning.

My fingers tightened on his shoulders as I began to move, and in the confined space, there wasn't enough room for me to do much more than roll my hips, grinding my clit against his pelvis with every motion. Evrin's hands were everywhere, the faint scrape of his claws alerting me to his movements. As addictive as his words of praise had been, the ragged, desperate attempts at keeping quiet were just as sexy.

"I shouldn't knot you here," he whispered brokenly, though the grip he had on my ass cheeks belied his words. "Someone could walk out. They could hear you. I'd kill them. I'd have to."

I clenched around him at the show of possessiveness. Why was that doing it for me? I'd never liked high-handed guys before.

"Don't pull out," I breathed, digging my blunt nails into his shoulders. "I want you to knot me. I'm on birth control. Please."

Evrin said something in a language I didn't recognize, though, I was pretty confident from the inflection that it was a curse word.

"Stay quiet," he growled, punctuating his words with the tiniest prick of his claws, even though he was the one who was making all the noise.

I did as I was told though, biting down hard on my lower lip to muffle the moans I couldn't let free.

I slipped a hand between us, circling my clit with practiced ease to push myself over the edge. Evrin cursed again the moment I clenched around him, roughly pulling me down as he thrust up, lodging his knot in place. At first, it wasn't too noticeable, and I couldn't help but wonder what all the fuss was about.

But then it kept growing.

I let out a squeak of alarm, but Evrin was entirely relaxed, tugging me forward so I was laying against his chest, my head resting on his shoulder.

"S'good," he slurred. "You're so good. Relax. I'll take care of you. Relax."

Despite my uncertainty, I found that I was able to sink into the warmth and strength of Evrin's body.

And then immediately tensed up again, because the slightest movement seemed to set off a chain of orgasms that I was helpless to stop. The thick, solid knot rubbed against my hypersensitive inner walls so perfectly that it felt like he was always meant to be there.

I hadn't gotit before when the others talked about having their minds blown by Shade sex.

I got it now.

I totally got it.

My eyelids felt like they weighed a ton each, but I forced them open so I could stare blearily up at Evrin's face in repose. God, he was gorgeous. And the chemistry was unreal. And he had such a soothing presence and didn't seem totally put off by my high-strung nature, even though I'd made almost no effort to hide it the way I usually did.

Maybe I'd been as lucky as Ophelia had been, and met my match—the Shade who would become my mate—right away too. It was more than I had even dreamed of hoping for.