Chapter 21

JUNE 5 – MONDAY 1:11 PM

R en

I shouldn't have been nervous. Theo said we were going to the cabin they took me to when I tried to hike home. It was also where I saw him and Liam together. That night already felt like a lifetime ago. It wasn't the place that made me jittery. I still couldn't wrap my head around telling Myles and Blake that I'd slept with Theo or that he wanted to be a regular in our relationship. Then there was the fact that Theo was hoping I'd let Liam join the fun. What the fuck was happening to my life?

I went from practically being a loner, living a mundane life, to this, whatever this was. Could you have a relationship with three or four guys and not be cheating? And how did you decide which guy to kiss first when you walked into a room or called to say goodnight? Who the hell did you cuddle with at night, if any? Did I make all these decisions? My head was going to explode as each question was analyzed six ways to Sunday.

Theo slowed down and turned onto a paved road that wasn't much better than a dirt one. It was rough going, but we eventually pulled into a driveway that had been mostly hidden by the trees. If I'd been driving, I would've missed it completely. The way was long and winding, the canopy of leaves so thick that it almost blocked out the bright afternoon sun.

After a final turn, there was the cabin and the guys. They were all standing outside around Nash's truck, and my heart galloped in my chest. Oh, dear lord. If I thought they were enticing before, I'd been in the dark. But I knew now. Another traumatizing death, being shot at, a mad escape, and two passionate days with Theo opened my eyes to a few things.

One of those things was what Myles had mentioned to me. "My world outside those gates is ugly. Sex was a way to have fun and let loose, to be young and forget about all the other shite for a tiny bit of time." I didn't get it then. Not really. But I understood it now.

Seeing them all leaning casually against the vehicles, like a delicious and deadly meal, had my mind racing with the possibilities.

Theo didn't pull up close but stayed back from the slight rise in the drive. Cutting the engine, he looked over his shoulder at me, and even though I couldn't see his eyes, I could feel the intensity penetrating through the visor. This was it, time to face the music.

I got off the bike, and Theo followed, helping me with my helmet before removing his own.

"You good? You look nervous," he said, his voice soft as he hung his helmet on the bike.

Nodding, I blew out a stream of air as I tried to control my racing heart. "This is going to be more difficult than I thought," I said, matching his whispered tone.

"It'll be fine," he said, giving me a smirk and guiding me over, his hand on the small of my back.

Before we reached them, Nash burst out laughing, drawing all of our attention. He smiled at me, and he didn't have to say it. I knew he knew. Fuck.

"Oh shit, this is gonna be good," Nash said, continuing to chuckle.

"What," Blake asked, his head snapping in Nash's direction.

"You don't see it," Nash said and pointed. "He fucked her. Your brother did her before either of you." Nash broke down again, and I swear to God I was going to punch him square in the face one of these days and break his nose just for fun.

Myles, Blake, and Liam looked at us in unison, and I froze, wishing I could possum my way out of this. "Is he right," Myles asked, nodding in Nash's direction.

"Um…well…." I lifted a shoulder and looked up at Theo.

"The answer is yes. Thanks for just blurting it out, Nash. Classless as usual." There was a cool superiority to the way Theo said it as if he was waiting for one of them to challenge him.

"You're welcome. I'm going to enjoy this," Nash said, lounging against his truck like he hadn't just lobbed a grenade and was ready to make popcorn.

I cleared my throat as the guys stared. "Yes, Theo is telling the truth," I said.

I expected an explosion from Myles, but it was Blake who stomped toward us, his eyes windows to the bubbling rage underneath.

"What the fuck is this? You just wanted to one-up me again," Blake asked, and Theo glared.

"Please, get over yourself," Theo said.

"It wasn't like that," I said, but Blake didn't look at me.

"You know how I feel about her, and yet you can't help being first, being number one." Blake shoved Theo, and the air of calm around him vanished in a blink.

"It wasn't about you," Theo growled and shoved Blake back.

"Enough, it wasn't Theo's fault. I wanted to," I said.

"He took advantage of you," Blake roared. "You don't even like her, but you happily stepped in to be her knight in shining armor." Blake pushed Theo harder this time, and he took a step back. "What kind of prick takes advantage of a girl like that?"

"Fuck you, Blake. You weren't there. You don't know what happened," Theo growled, his hands balling into fists.

"Guys, stop it!" I went to grab Blake, but Nash wrapped his arm around my waist and picked me up as he hauled me back. "Let go, someone needs to stop them."

"No way, Princess. You started this, but they need to finish it," he said with a lilt of humor.

"Not funny. Do you want them to fight?"

"No, I want them to sort their shit out so we can get to work. Plus, this is entertaining as fuck. I missed the drama you bring to the table, Princess. I've gotten used to your brand of chaos."

"What I know is that you just can't help yourself. You have to be the best and show me up in everything. You say you don't, but this isn't a game to me. I love her, and you just pushed me out of the way," Blake yelled.

I'd never seen him mad like this. Blake was many things, but prone to rage fits was not one of them. The only time I'd seen him like this was when he'd kissed me for the first time, and he and Myles got into a yelling match. That was different, and his reasons for trying to get someone to hit him were toxic.

"For the last time, me sleeping with Ren had nothing to do with you or your feelings or adding more to the imaginary bar you think I have set," Theo said, getting right up into Blake's face.

My heart was pounding out of my chest, and I pulled on Nash's arm. Someone needed to stop this before it got out of control, but Nash was having none of it and lifted my feet off the ground again. Nash was right about one thing. I might have hit the button on the bomb, but it had been ticking long before this. A brother's rivalry that I could never fully understand.

"Put me down, I'm not a damn child." My teeth gritted as I glared over my shoulder at him.

"Not a chance, Princess, they need to work through this on their own," he said.

"Oh, okay, Dr. Nash. When did you get your PHD in psychology?" This was humiliating. "I love your fucking mouth Princess, but if you start to fight me right now, I promise that I'll be the one bending you over." Nash's blue eyes dropped to meet mine, and I was acutely aware that he could easily pull it off.

"I call bullshit." Blake fumed, jerking my attention back to him and Theo. "You made the escape plan, and you purposely arranged it so you would have her alone and all to yourself," Blake said, not backing down.

This was insanity. "Hello! I did have a say in all of this," I yelled, but no one was listening. Not even Myles or Liam. Their eyes were trained on the two brothers getting ready to come to blows. The tension was so thick that if we were in a room, we'd choke on it.

"Oh yes, I'm fucking clairvoyant now and saw mercenaries coming to attack us just so that I could fuck Ren's brains out on a mad dash to save our lives. You figured me out, brother." Theo pushed Blake hard enough that he stumbled back. "It's not my fucking fault you're a virgin and butt sore about it. All I did was what you wouldn't do, even when she begged you to," Theo growled.

Oh fuck.

The argument had been like watching a long fuse and a little flame burning as it raced toward sticks of dynamite, but just like that, everything went kaboom. With a yell, Blake lunged at Theo, and the fight was on. The tackle took them both to the ground, and I covered my mouth as fists flew. Shit, when everything happened with Theo, I never thought that things would boil over into a fight like this. Both Blake and Myles had given their consent, sort of anyway.

They rolled past the motorcycle, narrowly missing it. I looked at Liam, mortified that I might've created an even bigger issue than Blake, but he was watching the show, his eyes casual with his hands stuffed in his pockets. What the hell was wrong with guys? They seemed to love a good fight no matter what it was over.

"Blake's a virgin? How the fuck did I miss that," Nash asked. I looked up at his shocked face.

"That's what you're worried about? Not them beating the shit out of one another," I growled. "And put me down. I feel like a rag doll."

"Ya know what, fuck this." Myles marched over, and Nash let go of me. But before I could say a word, Myles tossed me over his shoulder like a firefighter.

"Myles put me down," I said and smacked his ass as we walked, which did nothing. The sound of the fight grew quieter, and then I couldn't hear them at all when the door to the cabin closed behind us. Even though there was no way to see where we were heading, I knew we were going to the bedroom. As soon as we got inside, he dropped me on the bed and closed the door.

Butterflies twisted and turned in my stomach, the silence drowning me and clogging my throat. Myles was turned away from me, hand on the door, head down. I watched his back expand and contract with each breath he took.

"Are you not worried about them fighting?"

"Naw."

"Okay." I squirmed on the bed, not sure what to do with my nervousness, so I sat on my hands. "Are you mad at me," I asked, unable to take the silence. "I didn't think you would be upset after the talk we had."

Myles turned, his amber eyes locking with mine before he leaned against the door. Crossing his arms, he shook his head, his body giving two conflicting answers.

"Naw, I'm not mad. I'm just tryin' to understand, and more importantly, I want to know if this was really something ya wanted or if he did as Blake said and took advantage of ya. I'll break his fuckin' arms if ya didn't want this to happen. I don't care how close Theo and I are."

I stared into his concerned eyes, and just when I thought I couldn't love him more, he did or said something that topped it all over again.

"We took advantage of each other, I think."

"What do ya mean?"

I tried to get the little puzzle pieces in my brain to fall into position, but not one of them wanted to behave. Myles kneeled in front of me, his hand on my thigh, and I cupped his face, resting my forehead against his.

"I've seen two people die in my life. Both of them were people that I loved who were murdered in front of me. The man I called father all my life is possibly not my biological father. I just learned that my family—people I didn't know existed—are trying to kill me. I've never been in a shootout or a high-speed chase, and I was panicked about all of you and if you were okay. To top it off, I couldn't stop my brain from spinning with worry that being with me was going to get you all killed. I was in the middle of a full-blown meltdown and on the verge of passing out. Theo kissed me to stop the runaway train in my brain from careening off the tracks."

Sitting back, I sucked in a deep breath.

"I wanted to feel something other than fear. I've had so much of that lately. At that moment, he made me feel good. Theo wiped away some of the stain in my mind, and I was able to take back what Axel had stolen. No one can give me back my virginity, but that moment was…altering. It was like he was still winning somehow, even from the grave. Something that I'd been nervous about, yes, but so excited to share with you was ripped away. Every day that passed and nothing happened seemed like another mark on the board for him. I know that must sound strange, but…." I tapped over my heart.

Grabbing Myles's hand, I brought it to my lips and kissed his knuckles. I was so incredibly thankful that we all made it out of my house in one piece. "In a blink, I realized just how short our lives can be. At one point, I thought I had eighty years in front of me, and now I may not see next year if my mum's family gets their way. My heart ached with the thought that I could die, any of us could, and he would be laughing at me from hell. Theo offered an escape from all of it for a little while. I didn't tell him any of that. He just assumed it was all adrenaline, and part of it was, but not all. So, the long-winded answer is no, he didn't take advantage of me. I think I took advantage of him."

Myles looked down, and I ran my fingers through his hair. Everything felt right in the world when he touched me. "It should've been me. Ya asked me, and once more, I failed."

He stood, and I jumped up and grabbed him. "No, you didn't. That's not what I meant at all."

"Aye, but I did. Ya looked me in the eyes and told me that ya trusted me with the very fabric of yer being. It should've been me that restored what Axel took." He looked away, his hands clenching into fists. "Every time my da takes something else from me, it opens a new wound. It's to the point where he can sit back and laugh and watch the damage unfold. I fall into his traps and sabotage myself. He no longer has to lift a finger."

"Myles, don't put that on yourself. You can't do that. That man has put you through literal hell since you were a child, and what you suffered for me…I love you, and I can't express what you being in my life has meant to me. Besides, we couldn't have predicted what happened. None of what went on with Theo was planned. A week later, you could've been ready, and we wouldn't even be having this conversation."

"I should've known. As soon as we found out whose daughter you were and who was after ya, we should've packed up and left. My gut said that it was risky to stay, but I didn't say anything. That shite is on me."

"Myles, why are you always so hard on yourself? Next, you're going to take the blame for natural disasters. Stop it. No one blames you, least of all me."

He shrugged. "I blame myself because I have slunk around in the dark. I've hit places where I was collectin' money when they least expected it and have helped hunt and kill, just like those guys did at yer house. They may have been bolder than I expected, but I should've listened to my gut. You forget I'm the murderin' bastard that people fear. I should've anticipated the attack."

I shook my head at him. The damage that was inflicted on Myles by Owen and Devin had seeped into his veins and flowed through him as fluidly as his blood. I could see it in his eyes, the fear of failure, of never being enough.

"Myles, no matter what you think about yourself or the things you should or shouldn't have done, I don't regret for a single second saying yes to you." I slipped my arms around his waist and held him like he was going to disappear. "It is one of the best choices I've ever made, and you prove that daily, whether you see it or not. I see it. I see you."

I looked up at him, and his mouth tipped up at the corner, the warmth returning to his features. "I need to ask. Are you wantin' to include everyone? Should I just accept that now?"

I swallowed hard. "Theo and I didn't really talk a whole lot about where this was going to go, and he needs to speak to Liam, but…."

Myles ran his hand through his hair. "But if they agree, then yes."

I looked away from his eyes, a nervous blush spreading. "Would you hate that?"

"Naw, but…." Touching my chin, he made me look him in the eyes. "I will never give ya up. I know ya think those are just words, but I'm serious, Snowflake. Nash is fightin' his feelings, but I see it in him, and king or no, I will not let ya go."

"Nash is an ass, and I don't want him."

Myles pressed his lips into a thin line, his eyes calling me a liar before the words left his mouth. "Don't lie to me, Snowflake. I've seen the sparks between the two of ya. It may not be today or a month from now, but one of ya will trip and land on yer own gun." I wasn't a hundred percent sure what that meant, but I got the gist that he thought one of us was going to cave to whatever it was between us.

"Alright, I can't deny the sparks, as much as I hate to say that out loud, but I may kill him before it ever got that far."

Myles snorted. "Just promise me." He ran his finger down the side of my cheek. "Swear to me that yer always gonna be my Snowflake."

"I swear," I said and rose up on my toes to kiss him. The kiss was sweet and tender, and it said more to me than pretty words ever could.

Myles stepped back, stripped his hoodie off, and tossed it aside. "Good, then I'm doing what I should've done the first time ya asked." My pulse pounded hard as he gripped the back of my neck, pulling me into his body. My palms were on fire as they made contact with his sun-kissed skin. "What do ya say, Snowflake? Are ya ready for me to claim ya as mine once and for all?"

"Are you sure? Just because Theo did, it doesn't mean you need to jump off the cliff behind him. I still want you. I'll always want you even if you were never ready."

Myles smirked as his eyes roamed over my face while his hands touched me as tenderly as only he could. "I've never been more certain about anythin' in my entire life. If yer brave enough to walk forward from what that piece of shit did, then I need to do the same when it comes to my da, or he will always be pullin' the strings. I won't allow that to happen to me or us. I have wanted this from first glance, so yeah, I'm certain."

Equal parts excitement and nervousness soared through my body. I reached up and pulled my hair out of the ponytail, letting it fall around my shoulders while soaking up the desire in his eyes.

I smirked at him. "Then yes, the answer is always yes."