Chapter 19

JUNE 4 – SUNDAY 11:22 AM

R en

If I didn't have questions before, I had a million now, and not all of them had to do with my family situation. Theo was still asleep, his breathing deep and slow and comforting as he held me. He didn't move at all except to ask me if I was warm enough. I wasn't sure he was even awake when he asked, but as soon as I said yes, he kissed my forehead and went back to sleep.

I knew that Theo had a softer side than he liked to show, but he was also so much more. He was truly as complicated as an impossible physics equation. If it hadn't been for the guys yesterday and their fast thinking, I would be dead. That thought, and the image of Nadia's face wouldn't stop playing. Her hand stretched out, and all I could hear was her saying, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to lead them to you." What fear had my aunt and mum lived in that they ran so far away from home and remained hidden this long?

Did my family, that I never met, really want me dead so badly because of something I had no control over? I could see the polar bear on the masked man's hand as clear as day. Yes, you are a Mikhailov. Then how did my mum meet my dad? When did I become a Davies, or was I always a Davies, but my mum was a Mikhailov? And who the heck was Christov Ivankov? Was he my real father? My brain was reeling.

Theo shifted slightly against me, and I sucked in a deep breath as I realized he was hard. There was still no guilt or regrets for what we did, but the conversation with Myles and Blake was going to be awkward. Technically, they'd both given me their blessing to add any of the other guys into the mix, but this was probably not what they intended. Or maybe it was. This insane relationship stuff was as confounding as everything else in my life, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised that Theo was my first real experience after….

Nope, I'm not going to go there. He will not enter my thoughts ever again willingly. Axel is dead. That is all that matters.

Theo groaned and pressed against me, and the sound heated my blood, making me rub my legs together. If it had been a bad idea earlier, it was definitely a bad idea now, and yet that didn't stop me from throwing my leg over his. Studying his face, it was so hard to tell him and Blake apart, which was as thrilling as it was perplexing to all my senses.

I wiggled against him and shivered even though my body turned into an instant furnace with a blast of heat rolling through me. His spring green eyes opened and gripped me with the intensity of his stare. I could almost feel him analyzing me.

"You're playing with fire, Ren," he uttered softly. "Teasing me like this will get you burned."

"I didn't know I was teasing. I thought I was asking."

His lip twitched ever so slightly as the heat in his eyes intensified. "You want to skip breakfast and go straight to dessert," he said, the arrogant tone I was used to in full swing. I would've told him to forget it, but he kissed me and rolled us over so that he was on top. Whatever grievance I had was wiped away.

He pressed his hips into me, and I moaned. The kiss became insistent as our tongues challenged one another for dominance. Breaking the kiss, I gasped in a mouthful of air.

"I still find it so strange looking at you without your glasses," I said, and he smirked.

"I don't fuck with them on unless, of course, you have a nerdy boy fantasy you'd like to explore?" He groaned in my ear, and goosebumps prickled along my skin. "Do you want me to tell you hot science facts, or maybe we can work on your Spanish? I'm always happy to one up you." This shouldn't be hot, but damn, I almost wanted him to start spewing random facts at me.

"I think we could do without the random facts you think you know more of than I do, but I'm down for something sexy in Spanish," I said, and he chuckled.

"I'll keep that in mind for another time then."

"You think there's going to be more after we leave this gas station?"

He pushed himself up onto his arms, and I nibbled on my bottom lip. "Are you saying you don't want there to be?"

Theo actually sounded disappointed. "I'm saying that's a big assumption considering the situation we're both in. Me with Blake and Myles, and you with Liam."

"Are you worried what they'll think," he asked, and that was a good question.

"Right now, in this moment, no. But I wouldn't say I'm in the best head space," I said. "Do you even like me? I know we were friends, but was this something you even wanted?"

"Do I seem like the type to do random and spontaneous well?" He cocked his brow at me, and the tips of my ears burned with the blush that was spreading at a rapid pace.

"No, now that you mention it. But this was an odd scenario," I said, sliding my hands up his hoodie to feel the hard abs underneath. He rubbed himself against me, and I pulled him closer.

"Well then, let me make my intentions clear. This is not a random hook up to me, no matter the oddness of the where or how it came about. As for Liam, he'll be fine with it. If anything, he'll want to join in. Sharing you at the same time…." He rolled off the desk and stood up, leaving me chilled from the loss of his heat. My eyes were glued to his hands as they unzipped his pants. "Let's just say that the two of us fucking you has been something I've thought about."

"I wouldn't have guessed that."

Theo said something else, but I was only half registering what he was talking about as he pulled his pants off and tossed them aside.

"Tell me what you want, Ren." There was an air of dominance that oozed off Theo. I looked away from him stroking his cock to his eyes. "Don't look away from what you want."

"Is that an order?"

"If you want me to fuck you, it is," he said nonchalantly. Narrowing my eyes at him only made him smile wider. "I know you're trying to resist, but there is no one here to see you cave and submit to me."

"That's what you want? For me to submit," I asked.

Theo cupped my chin and stepped in close enough to the desk that it forced me to look up at him. "I already told you I love to be watched. So, watch my hand on my cock, and I'll give you what you want. It's that simple."

"A trade-off?"

"I guess you could put it that way," he said, and I tore my gaze away from his and stared at his hand. This wasn't really a hardship, and the reaction was quick. I could feel the blood pumping faster throughout my body as his hand traveled the full length of his cock over and over again. "Take your pants off," he ordered. I was done trying to one-up him and whipped them off.

I watched as he tore open a condom with his teeth and slipped it on before he crawled onto the table between my legs. The adrenaline had been coursing through me earlier, and there was zero apprehension. I wasn't scared, but the look in his eyes had me swallowing a lump in my throat. When his lips touched mine, it transformed into something so much more carnal.

I laid down, his body following me, and lips never leaving mine. He didn't hurry like before, and I gasped as he pushed into me. Theo broke the kiss. "You feel incredible," he muttered against my lips. "Wrap your legs around my waist."

"Oh god," I groaned and arched up into him as the change in position had him rubbing multiple sensitive spots at once. "Feels amazing," I said before he kissed me again. He would randomly stop moving, and it was driving me insane. I wiggled under his body and could feel him smirking against my lips. "Take your hoodie off. I want to see you," I said, frantic to touch his skin.

Pushing himself up, he pulled it off and dropped it with the rest of the clothes. There was no way that he could pass for school nerd. He might think he was, but that was as effective as Clarke Kent in Superman. His arms flexed as he gripped the sides of the desk, and I couldn't keep my hands to myself any longer.

He thrust harder, and I moaned. "You seem to want something, Ren. What is it?" I wanted to growl at him as he continued to tease me. The insanity was rapidly spreading as I reached for the orgasm that was just out of reach. "Say the words. Say the words that are on your sweet tongue, and I will give it to you. But you need to let go. Let go, Ren. Do it."

I screamed Theo's name and begged for him to fuck me. The words dripped from my mouth in a mashup of sentences that I wasn't sure made sense. "Fuck me, please," I begged again, and this time he pounded into me so hard that I had to grab the sides of the desk or be pushed off the edge. "Yes, harder," I cried out and let go of all the pain and uncertainty, the feeling of being unworthy and unloved. The fear of what was to come and the sadness that lay like scattered petals behind me.

"Theo!" His name came out as a strangled wail as the climax, which had been slowly rising, soared over the edge. I bucked under his body, wanting more and unable to handle the intense feeling at the same time.

Theo swallowed my next scream, his mouth covering mine as he thrust into me with relentless abandon.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" He pounded into me so hard that I thought we were going to break the creaking desk, and I didn't care if we did as long as he didn't stop. "Touch yourself," he ordered through gritted teeth. "Come again, come again for me."

I didn't hesitate and slipped my hand between our bodies and rubbed at my clit as he continued to fuck me. There were no words for how this felt or how it wiped my normally racing mind blank and just allowed me to feel euphoric for once.

"You want me to do this while Liam fucks your mouth, don't you?"

"Yes."

"What about me and Blake?"

That one gave me pause. Tag teamed by two brothers? Wasn't that taboo? But there was no denying that having both of their hands on me was tapdancing across my mind.

"Yes, I want you both," I said, surprising myself by meaning every word. My fingers worked furiously, and it didn't take long to feel the orgasm coming on.

"Come for me, Ren. I can't hold back any longer."

Theo's movements became erratic. The feel of him losing control was as delicious as the orgasm itself, and my walls tightened around him.

"Oh fuck yes, so damn tight," he groaned, and that was it. An explosion ripped right through my body as the climax reached at the same time he yelled my name. I loved hearing it on his lips, screamed from his mouth. I made Theo O'Brien come undone, and fuck, that was a sweet victory all on its own.

We slumped on the desk, holding each other as our hearts continued to beat out of control.

"I really need a shower," I said, and he chuckled.

"You and me both. The electricity still works. Let's see if the water does too. There's a shower in the employee area, and then we can check in with Myles and Blake."

He helped me off the desk and disposed of the condom in the garbage before he held his hand out for me to take. Breathing deeply, I slid my hand into his, and I realized that something had changed inside of me. What it was, I couldn't pinpoint, but I wasn't going to let fear control me anymore. I'd been faking it and putting on a good show, but deep down, the demons had been clawing at my mind. No more. Not ever again. Even if it meant my death, I would face what was to come and defeat it or die with my head held high.