36. Wyatt

Christmas morning at my parents’ house was as perfect as it could be under the circumstances. We’d started later than usual because Dad needed some extra time to get moving, which had also given Anthony and me a chance to sleep in and enjoy a little one-on-one time. After we’d arrived, Jon and I made brunch to give Mom a break. My oldest brother, Derek, was still on the East Coast, but he called, so we all had a chance to talk to him and the kids.

Considering how I’d been expecting to spend this Christmas just a few weeks ago, I had no complaints. As we settled in to open gifts in the living room, I was just grateful that the man sitting beside me had turned my world on its head.

I came so close to missing this.

My brother situated himself by the modest pile of presents so he could distribute them to everyone. That gave me another little pang of sadness; Dad had always been the one to hand out gifts, but it was just too hard for him to get up and down anymore.

He was here, though. Awake, alert, and smiling as he tore open some wrapping paper to reveal a new ereader. He watched my mom happily as she opened up the new set of mixing bowls she’d asked him for. And he seemed to enjoy watching my brother, me, and Anthony unwrapping the jackets he’d bought all three of us.

“I hope that’s the right size, Anthony,” he said. “If it’s not, there’s a gift receipt so you can exchange it.”

“No, it’s great.” Anthony smiled. “If it’s a little big, it’ll be perfect to put a few extra layers on, especially when I’m in Winnipeg or something in the dead of winter.”

“Ooh, that sounds way too cold.” Mom chafed her arms. “No, thank you.”

“Right?” Anthony made a face. “Every year I hope we’ll play up there in like October or April, but no, it’s always the middle of February or something.” He rolled his eyes.

“Aww.” I nudged him with my elbow. “And they make you spend the whole time outside and not in a swanky hotel, don’t they?”

“Hey.” He nudged me back. “We still have to walk from the bus!”

“Mmhmm, and this is the world’s smallest violin…”

Anthony laughed and elbowed me. “Shut up.”

We continued through gifts. I was relieved I’d been able to spare some of my VA money to buy some small things for my family. A new pair of gloves for Mom since hers had holes in them. A gift card for Dad to load up that ereader, since he apparently blew through a lot of books at his chemo appointments. The wallet Jon had been asking for to replace his before it fell apart.

There wasn’t much I could give Anthony, since God knew he had everything, but he’d left one of his favorite travel mugs on a bus recently. I’d found one that had a grumpy-looking gray cat with the words, Fine, here’s your coffee. Now feed us, human.

As soon as he read it, Anthony burst out laughing. “Oh my God, that is so Moose.” Then he’d kissed my cheek and murmured, “Thank you, baby.”

Jon reached under the tree, pulled out a box, and peered at the tag. Offering it to me, he said, “This is for Lily from Mom and Dad.”

“Aww.” I patted Lily. “Did you hear that? You get presents too.”

She wagged her tail, and when I pulled the box onto my lap, she sniffed it, nearly whapping my brother in the face with her tail.

Inside, there was a bag of treats, which must’ve been what she’d smelled, but also a couple of new plushie toys. I gave her one of the treats, then offered her the two toys. She grabbed the bear, and this time she did smack Jon with her tail.

“Ack! That thing is weapon!” He put up his hands. “I always knew Dobermans were dangerous, but I didn’t think their tails were this bad!”

“Good girl!” I patted Lily’s side. “What a good dog! Good girl!” Just as I’d hoped, she wagged her tail even more, doing it so hard her whole butt wiggled, and my brother squawked as she hit him in the face and shoulder.

My parents, Anthony, and I cackled.

Jon muttered something and just tried to shield his face. After Lily had sat back down, he reached under the tree, pulled out another box, and read the tag. “Wyatt, this one’s for you.”

I reached for it, and I was surprised to see that it was from Anthony. When I turned to him, he was grinning.

“You got me a gift?” I asked.

He shrugged, the grin still firmly in place. “It is Christmas.”

“Well, yeah, but…”

He nudged my foot with his. “Shut up and open it.”

I snorted. “You’re so romantic.”

“Uh-huh.” I rolled my eyes and started tearing off the paper. As soon as I saw what was on the box, though, my humor vanished. “Is this…” I turned to Anthony. “Is this actually what’s in the box?”

“Yes.” He leaned over and kissed my cheek. “It’s exactly what’s in the box.”

I stared at him. Then at the gift in my lap.

“What is it?” Dad asked from across the room.

Somehow I found my voice, and by some miracle, it didn’t break as I said, “It’s a laptop.”

“No shit?” Jon craned his neck to look at it. “What kind?”

“Jon!” Mom tutted. “Language.”

Jon grimaced. “Sorry.”

I ran my hands over the box. “A MacBook Pro.”

My brother whistled. “Ooh, sexy.”

Yeah, it was. And they were expensive as hell, too. I turned to Anthony. “Are you sure about this?”

“Of course.” He squeezed my hand. Then he craned his neck toward the tree. “There should be one more.”

My jaw fell open. “One more? Seriously?”

He was serious, apparently, and I knew the instant I saw the box what it was. No, it wasn’t a ring—it was a little too early for things like that—but the distinctive box screamed smartphone.

Sure enough, it was an iPhone. One of the newer ones, I thought; I’d lost track of which edition they were on these days.

Oh, but there was more. Tucked into the box was a small envelope, and inside that…

“You…” I stared at Anthony. “You paid for my cell service?”

“It’ll cover you for a year—5G data, WiFi, unlimited everything.”

I was breathless. “Are you sure, though? This is so much. It’s—”

He stopped me with a soft kiss. “I’m sure.” Taking my hand, he added, “I want you to have the things you need. And want.”

I wanted to protest because holy shit, that was a lot of money. But I trusted that he wouldn’t try to use anything he’d bought as leverage—he’d been far too conscientious about our power imbalance—and that he genuinely did just want to help. That he wanted me to be happy.

As if I could possibly be any happier than I was with him.

“Anthony…” I damn near cried. This man had known me for all of six weeks, if that. He’d taken me into his home. He’d become my lover. He’d brought me home so I could spend Christmas with my family. And now this? It wasn’t that he was giving me fancy expensive things. It was like when he’d taken me to buy everything Lily and I would need out on the streets. The price tag didn’t matter. The fact that he cared—that he gave a shit about me when so much of the world had given up on me—moved me to the edge of tears.

Finally, I found my voice again and told him the same thing I had a million times before and probably would again: “You’re amazing. You know that?”

He flashed me a toothy grin. “That’s what my stats say.”

The laugh that burst out of me kept me from breaking down, and I took his hand. “Thank you. This is awesome.”

“You’re welcome.” He leaned in and kissed me lightly. “Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas.”

And for the first time in a long time…

It was.

“Hey. Wyatt.”Jon nodded sharply toward the backyard. “Why don’t we take your dog out?”

My stomach lurched. I could read between the lines well enough: let’s go outside and talk where Mom and Dad can’t hear us.

That didn’t bode well. He’d been polite the whole time I’d been home, but there’d been a hint of frost in all of our interactions. Nothing overt, just a subtle undertone that said he had something on his mind that he wasn’t happy about.

I did need to take Lily out, so I walked her around the yard and let her do her business. Once I’d thrown away the bag, I joined Jon on the deck. “I’m guessing you weren’t just concerned about Lily.”

“No. We need to talk.”

My stomach flipped. Oh fuck.

Jon put his vape pen in his mouth and took in a long pull. Then he turned his head and blew out a cloud of steam. The scent was vaguely citrusy, and it brushed up against a memory I didn’t want to think about right then. One of my Army buddies had vaped, and he’d been all about the citrus flavors.

Now didn’t feel like the time to take a mental jaunt back to that bitter Afghanistan winter and “Christ, dude, can you order some different flavors?” and “I will give you a hundred dollars not to use that thing for the rest of this goddamned deployment.”

Lily leaned against me, and I shook the thought away as I petted her. Clearing my throat, I studied my brother. “So, what’s up?”

“That’s what I wanted to ask you.” He absently turned the vape pen between his fingers, staring at that instead of looking at me. “I need you to level with me.”

“About?”

He flicked his eyes up to meet mine. “Where’ve you been?”

It was my turn to avoid eye contact.

He exhaled hard. “This has been killing all of us, you know. I get you’re in a shitty situation, but you can’t even call more than once in a blue moon? Or buy a damn train ticket?” He pointed at the house with the vape pen. “Mom shouldn’t have to handle this all on her own.”

I flinched. “I know. I’ve…” I chewed the inside of my cheek and watched my parents and boyfriend through the sliding glass door. “It hasn’t been for lack of trying.”

I didn’t have to look to know he was watching me skeptically. I could feel his “that sounds like bullshit” expression.

“How much effort does it actually take to call or text?” he demanded.

I swallowed. “Effort wasn’t the issue.”

“Then… what?”

I pulled my gaze away from the slider and moved to the deck furniture. Easing down onto the cold metal chair, I petted Lily to center myself. I had to think for a long moment about what to tell him. How much shame and guilt I could handle. How much of my brother’s pity and disgust. God, I hated this. How badly my life had spiraled and how humiliating it was to even brush up against the subject.

But Jon was right. I’d been MIA when the family needed me the most. They deserved some kind of explanation for that, didn’t they? I took a deep breath and looked at him. “I’ve… I haven’t been completely honest with you or Mom and Dad. About my situation.”

Jon’s eyebrows shot up. “Says the guy who couldn’t get down here, but then shows up with a pro hockey player boyfriend who drives a Land Rover.”

I exhaled a cloud into the night. “That’s… a very new development.”

“Yeah. And?” He took another drag off the vape pen, watching me intently the whole time.

Gazing down at Lily, I fought back the knot of shame in my chest. I didn’t want my family to know. I hated how far down I’d crashed. And for fuck’s sake, the family had much bigger things to worry about. Mom was at a breaking point, and her stress was only going to get worse as Dad’s cancer picked up steam. It was also taking its toll on Jon. Derek had to be losing his mind, too, especially since he was on the other side of the country with kids and a demanding job. None of them needed my chaos.

“Wyatt.” My brother pulled out one of the other chairs and dropped into it. “I know it’s hard, Dad being sick. But we’re a family. We need each other. It’s gotta be all hands on deck. Even Derek has flown out like six times, and he calls constantly to check in.” He flailed a hand toward the house. “Mom shouldn’t have to handle this alone, and I’m doing as much as I can. I don’t think I’m out of line asking why the fuck you couldn’t be bothered to—”

“Because I was living on the goddamned streets, okay?”

We both froze.

He stared at me. I stared at him. No clouds formed between us. Not breath. Not vape.

Lily whined softly and pressed against my hand, but I didn’t take my eyes off Jon as my own words hung in the chilly air.

He was the first to exhale, leaning back slowly in the chair as he stared at me in disbelief. “You were—are you saying you were homeless?”

“Yes.” I dropped my gaze as shame pushed down hard on my tired shoulders. “I’ve been telling Mom I can’t get time off work, but the truth is, I lost that job a long time ago. The VA is still dicking me around, and…” I wiped a hand over my face and forced myself to look at him. “I ended up out there.”

Jon’s eyes were huge, his jaw slack. “Are you serious?”

I nodded slowly as bile climbed the back of my throat. Now that he knew, there was no reason to hold back, so I told him everything. About losing my apartment, then my car. About living in a tent, then losing that and most of our belongings to the police. About all the waiting lists I was on with the VA, which were doing fuck all to actually help with my situation.

By the time I was done, I was sweating, and Lily was most of the way onto my lap, leaning against my chest and licking at my chin.

I thought my brother actually paled. “Holy shit. Why…” He swept his tongue across his lips. “Why didn’t you tell us?”

I swallowed hard and looked him right in the eye. “What do you think that would’ve done to Mom?”

Jon blinked.

“Not being able to come down here and help has been killing me,” I whispered unsteadily. “One of my biggest fears the last few months is that I wouldn’t be able to see Dad again before he—” My voice caught, and I cleared my throat. “But I would rather live with that regret than be the reason Mom breaks.”

“So you…” Jon had never looked that utterly shocked and horrified. “You thought you’d be a burden?”

“I would’ve been.” I gestured at the house. “They can barely pay their own bills. The stress is killing both of them faster than the cancer is killing Dad.” Spreading my arms, I asked, “In what universe would I not be a burden for adding to that?”

“You’re family, Wyatt!” He blew out a breath. “Jesus Christ. I mean…” He flailed a hand toward our parents. “Do you think Dad’s a burden? For having cancer?”

“Of course not!”

He inclined his head, giving me a “now do the math, dumbass” look.

I looked away, working my jaw as I kept petting Lily to stay calm. “That’s different.”

“How?” Jon demanded, but he didn’t give me a chance to answer. “Fucking hell, dude. You’re part of the family. We care about you. It isn’t like you decided to rob a bank. You got fucked over by the military and ended up on the—God, Wyatt.” He made a pained sound and pressed back against the seat. “I’ve been pissed at you for months because I thought you didn’t care enough to help us all deal with this, but you…” Raking a hand through his hair, he exhaled, and when he spoke again, his voice cracked. “Why the fuck wouldn’t you let us help you, you absolute dumbass?”

I didn’t have an answer for that. More shame piled on what was already there. More guilt. A huge helping of grief for all the time I’d lost with the family I’d been trying to protect from myself.

“Jesus fuck.” Jon pushed himself to his feet, and for a second, I thought he was going to storm into the house and announce what an absolute trash fire I was. Instead, though, he stopped in front of me and said, “Get up.”

I glanced up at him, finding every emotion imaginable on my brother’s face. I gently nudged Lily down, and then I rose.

And somehow, I wasn’t at all prepared when he pulled me into the tightest, fiercest hug he ever had.

Last night, I’d sagged against Anthony and let quiet relief rush over me.

This time, I fucking broke.

I was pretty sure the last time my brother had seen me cry was at our grandma’s funeral when I was eleven and he was fifteen. He definitely saw it now, and he held me so tight I could barely breathe.

Through my tears, I managed, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t you dare be sorry,” he growled shakily. “I’m sorry any of us ever let you think you could be a burden on us.”

“I just didn’t want—”

“And we don’t want you sleeping in a goddamned box, Wyatt.” He loosened his embrace a little but didn’t let me go. “Would you have stayed away if you had cancer too?”

“What?” I pulled back. “No. Of course not.”

“Right. So why the hell did you think you needed to stay away this time?”

“This isn’t cancer, Jon. It’s me being broke and homeless and—”

“And royally fucked over by the military.” He shook his head. “Even if you hadn’t been—even if you’d made some really dumb decisions and landed on the street because you were a reckless idiot, do you really think this family would turn our backs on you? Jesus Christ.” He reeled me back in, and his voice came out thick as he ground out, “We love you, Wyatt. You don’t get to stay out in the cold by yourself just because there’s other shit happening. You got that?”

“Yeah. I got it.”

It had been a long, long time since I’d felt this much like his little brother. Since I’d felt like the kid being protected on the bus or the playground. That was a surprisingly welcome feeling this time; not like he was talking down to me or treating me like a child, but that he was—and always would be—my big brother. He’d once been suspended for punching a kid who’d bullied me and telling the principal, “And I’d do it again.”

All these years later, I was a soldier who’d been inches from literal hell, surviving warzones and the streets, but God help me—few things had ever been more welcome than my brother hugging me the way he had the first time I’d fallen off a bike. I hadn’t realized how much I still needed the high school senior who’d put the fear of God into the sophomore who’d threatened freshman me for bringing a boy to homecoming.

I hadn’t known how badly I’d needed to be the little brother and the son who didn’t hesitate to come to his family for help.

Eventually, Jon let me go. As I sat back down, I wiped my eyes with a shaking hand. “I should, um… I should probably stay out here for a few minutes. If I go back in there looking like this, Mom is going to freak out.”

“Yeah.” He swiped at his own eyes. “Tell me about it.”

I stared at him. He hadn’t seen me cry since Grandma’s funeral. I hadn’t seen him cry since well before that.

He glanced at me, then apparently realized I was staring, and he rolled his eyes. “Shut up.”

“What?” I laughed. “I didn’t think you were—”

He flipped me off, and we both chuckled, which helped us pull ourselves together. Hands shaking, Jon took out his vape pen again, and we sat in silence while he took a few drags.

After a while, he studied me through the cloud of citrus-scented vapor. “I do still have one question.”

I absently scratched behind Lily’s ear. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” He tipped his head toward the house. “How the fuck did you go from being homeless to dating a professional hockey player?”

The laughter that poured out of me felt amazing, and I leaned back in the chair. “So there was this cold snap in November…”

Twenty minutes later, after I’d told him the story and we’d talked some more, we agreed our eyes weren’t incriminatingly red anymore, and we headed back inside.

“Did you idiots get lost out there again?” Dad asked as Jon took off his shoes.

“Again?” Anthony laughed, arching an eyebrow. “Is this a thing?”

“No,” my brother and I said at the same time our dad insisted, “Yes.”

Mom giggled. “Before some of the other neighbors moved in, it was all woods back there.” She gestured toward the yard. “When these two were little—”

“They were idiots,” Dad said. “Just smaller ones than they are now.”

“Thanks, Dad,” I muttered as I sat down beside Anthony on the couch. “And anyway, it was Jon’s fault.”

“What?” Jon scoffed as he sat next to me. “That’s crap.”

“You told me there were leprechauns in the woods!”

Anthony snorted. “And you believed him?”

“I was four!”

“And you were an idiot.” Jon punched my shoulder. “Don’t forget that part.”

I punched him back. “I was four.”

He huffed and kicked me, then howled when he caught my prosthetic with his sock-covered foot. “Ow! Jesus!”

I cackled. “That’s what you get!”

He flipped me off, and Mom tsked.

“Boys.” She rolled her eyes and shook her head.

“What?” I shrugged. “He started it.”

My brother muttered something as he gingerly rubbed his foot. Then he asked, “I, uh… Didn’t jack up your prosthetic, did I?” He grimaced. “I forgot about it.”

I pursed my lips. Then, “Mom! Jon broke my prosthetic! That means I get his gaming console, right?”

Dad and Anthony both burst out laughing while Jon punched me again.

Mom just rolled her eyes and sighed. To Anthony, she said, “This is what happens when you have boys. You end up with a house full of smartasses.”

He was still laughing as he replied, “Just like hanging out with hockey players.” He wrapped his arm around my shoulders. “I love it.”

I settled against him as we all kept bantering.

And I loved it, too.

It was latewhen we made it back to our hotel. We carried some of our gifts up to the room since leaving them in the car was way too risky. I didn’t care how secure the parking garage allegedly was—no way in hell was I leaving a new MacBook out of my sight.

About two minutes after we walked into the room, Anthony looked around, patting his pockets. “Did I—damn it. I left my phone in the car.” He rolled his eyes and grabbed his keys. “Be right back.”

Yeah, we’d definitely been living in two different worlds. I didn’t imagine my new smartphone would be more than six inches away from my person any time soon. I was way too paranoid about it being stolen.

While Anthony went back down to retrieve his phone, I sat on the edge of the bed and ran my fingers over the box containing the sleek laptop.

The price tag was probably pocket change for him, but I was still blown away that he’d spent it on me. I still couldn’t believe he spent anything on me, never mind coughing up for a MacBook and an iPhone.

But I wasn’t marveling so much at the money as what these new devices meant. They were amazing, but not in a materialistic sense. They were like tangible representatives of what Anthony had really given me, just like this swanky hotel room and the drive down to Portland in his luxury SUV. It wasn’t that any of it was fancy or expensive—it just all added up to me reconnecting with my family. To the world I’d been terrified I was severed from forever. The electronics meant I could stay connected with the people I loved. It also meant I could look for jobs and follow up on my VA claim. I could use the GI Bill and take online classes.

These weren’t status symbols or expensive trinkets from a rich boyfriend. They were connection and hope that had been so far gone from my life that I could barely get my head around them now.

I put the laptop aside and ran a hand through my hair. I was still overwhelmed from the past handful of days. Against all odds, I’d been able to spend precious time with my dad while there was still time left. I’d been able to take some weight off my mom’s shoulders. Those things, I’d known I needed, even if I hadn’t thought they were possible.

What I hadn’t realized was how distant my relationship with my brother had become. Today’s conversation had been hard as hell, and I was still wrung out and raw from it, but holy shit, I was relieved. Of all the things I’d been missing over the last year or two, I hadn’t known just how badly I’d needed to reconnect with Jon.

And it was all because of the same man who’d gone out of his way to outfit Lily and me before telling us, “You know what? Just stay here.”

I looked at my dog, who was watching me intently. “We really lucked out, didn’t we?” I stroked her smooth head. “We hit the damn lottery.”

She wagged her tail, and I smiled to myself. Yeah. We really had hit the jackpot.

The keycard clicked in the door, startling me out of my thoughts, and I looked up as Anthony came into the room.

He smiled, holding his phone up triumphantly. “Found it!”

“Right where you left it?”

Rolling his eyes, he nodded. “Yep. I should just tether it to my hand.”

“There’s always duct tape.”

“Or I can just not be an idiot about it.” He put his phone, keys, and keycard down beside his wallet. “But that might be asking a bit much.”

I just chuckled and pushed myself to my feet.

He glanced past me at the laptop. “Do you, um, want to get that set up?”

“No.” I crossed the room to him and put my hands on his waist. “It can wait.”

Interest sparked in his eyes. “Yeah?”

“Mmhmm.” I lifted my chin and kissed him lightly. “I, um… Thank you. Again. For everything. Bringing me down here to see my family. The…” I nodded toward the laptop.

“I figured it would be helpful for you.”

“It will be.” I hesitated. “You know you don’t have to do all this stuff for me, though, right? You don’t have to buy me things.”

“I know.” He kissed my knuckles, then smiled at me. “But I like seeing you happy. And you said looking for a job is tough without access to a smartphone and a laptop.” He half-shrugged. “So I thought this would make things easier for you.”

“It will make things easier,” I whispered. “So much easier.” I swallowed. “But it also—it means I can stay in touch with my family more than I have. And bringing me down here, it was…” Christ, why couldn’t I talk? “I don’t know if I’d have seen my dad again without you.” I carded my fingers through his hair. “I probably wouldn’t have ever had Christmas with him again. So… thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” He slid his hands over my waist. “I mean it—I really want you to be happy.”

“I am.” It felt amazing to say that and mean it. “Just helping me get down here to spend Christmas with my parents is amazing. Everything else…” I trailed off, shaking my head. “Just… thank you. For being amazing.”

He smiled and reeled me in closer, and his kiss was a huge relief. Now I didn’t have to try to form words anymore. There was no way to adequately express how much he’d done for me and how much he meant to me.

This, though? Holding him close and indulging in a long, decadent kiss? Oh, I could do that.

And maybe we didn’t need to talk anymore. Maybe there’d been enough talking for one trip.

Maybe I just needed him right now.

I tugged at his shirt, and his lips curved against mine.

“Ooh,” he murmured between kisses. “Is this another Christmas present for me?”

“Mmm, I think it’s a present for both of us, isn’t it?”

A low growl emerged from his throat just before he kissed me even harder. He nudged me toward the bed, obviously very much onboard with what I had in mind, and I let him walk me back until I bumped the mattress. We climbed onto the bed, both fully dressed, and he pulled me down on top of him.

I gasped when his hard-on brushed mine through our clothes. Then I made him gasp when I started kissing along the side of his throat.

“Fuuuck,” he murmured, sliding his hands up my sides. “God, baby…”

I couldn’t resist and found his mouth again, and he tangled his fingers in my hair as we kissed. As raw and brittle as I was, I also needed him. I wanted him. And maybe we needed to dive into that and just… not talk anymore.

“Get undressed,” I breathed. “I want to fuck you.”

His full-body shiver and the way he bit his lip sent an electric thrill through me. I loved having this effect on him.

We separated to strip out of our clothes, and all the while—as we got naked and as we sank back into bed—I marveled that this was even real. At the same time… of course it was real. It all felt so inevitable and right, as if the battered road I’d been on had always been leading me straight to him.

I can’t believe we’re here.

But… of course we’re here.

Just like it was way too soon for that gift box to have held a ring, it was way too soon to say I was in love with Anthony. We’d just met a handful of weeks ago. We’d barely started seeing each other.

But that didn’t mean I couldn’t be absolutely in love with how I felt when I was with him. I loved being wrapped up in someone who cared about me. Who genuinely gave a damn about me. After months on end of hoping for just a shred of basic humanity from anyone, I’d found myself in the arms of someone who truly cared. It wasn’t the money or the fancy things. It was the way his default setting seemed to be that no one he cared about went without, and somehow—by some incredible miracle—I’d become someone he cared about.

It went beyond affection and kindness, too. Especially in moments like this when we were kissing and touching and tangling up, I felt sexy with him. After being convinced for so long that I was unattractive and undesirable, all it took was a moment or two in Anthony’s arms to chase away those worries. He was the most ripped and sculpted man I’d ever seen—which said a lot, given the number of soldiers I’d been with—and he’d spent the last few years with someone who was also in spectacular condition.

And yet this man worshipped my body like there wasn’t a damn thing wrong with it.

His fingers and lips skated over scars and stretchmarks without flinching. His gaze raked over me without stuttering on my prosthetic or all the marks war had left behind. His mouth moved with mine without any hesitation at all.

In Anthony’s arms, I felt both safe and beautiful—two things I’d never imagined feeling ever again.

He was perfect for me. Absolutely perfect. I didn’t feel unworthy of him, either. Disbelieving, yes, but in the sense that I’d somehow been gifted an amazing treasure, and I was going to do everything in my power to protect, cherish, and love that treasure with all I had.

“Tell me what you want,” I whispered as he kissed along my throat. “Anything, baby. Just tell me.”

“We still have condoms, right?” he murmured against my neck. “We didn’t use them all?”

“Are you kidding?” I slid my hands up his back. “We brought plenty.”

His chuckle was a cool breath across my skin. “Then put one on. Now.”

Sir, yes, sir.

I made short work of putting on a rubber, and in a matter of seconds, Anthony was on his hands and knees, gorgeous ass waiting for me. With a little bit of fingering, I had him ready to take me. With a little bit more, I had him down on his forearms and begging for my dick.

“Goddammit, Wyatt,” he growled. “Would you just—ooh, yeah…”

I grinned as I eased into him. Though I couldn’t see his face, I could still see all his pleasure playing across his body. Muscles tensing and relaxing. Arms shaking. Back arching. God, he was so beautiful from every angle, and when he was like this—offering himself up and trembling with need—I wanted nothing more than to make him feel as good as possible.

“Do you want it hard?” I asked. “Or slow?”

He whimpered softly. Then, “Hard.”

“Yeah?” I licked my lips. “You want me to rail you, don’t you?”

He gripped the edge of the mattress and rocked back against me. “Please. Yes.”

I picked up a little speed, but I kept myself back from what I knew he wanted. Oh, he’d be stimulated, and he’d love it, but it wasn’t the deep, hard fuck he craved. No, he was going to have to work for that.

“Wyatt…”

I adjusted my grip on his hips and rode him fluidly, loving the sight of him taking my dick and the sound of him needing more.

“Please,” he moaned. “C’mon…”

“What’s wrong?” I teased, taking long, easy strokes inside him. “Doesn’t this feel good?”

“It feels amazing. But I…” He tried to rock back and encourage me to move faster, but I held his hips tighter. “Goddammit…”

I laughed. “You’re so sexy when you beg. Especially when you’re begging for”—I slammed into him once—“my dick.”

That had him whimpering with a mix of pleasure and frustration, and he kept trying to egg me on with his body. Keeping him still wasn’t easy—those legs of his were powerful as hell—but I managed, loving the way he alternately begged for more and cursed me out. He was so damn hot when he was this desperate and needy.

I didn’t keep him begging forever, though.

“Wyatt…” His fingers curled around handfuls of sheets as he bowed his head. “Please, just—oh, God, yeah.”

I thrust into him for all I was worth, and I was rewarded with strangled cries as every muscle in his back rippled as he slammed himself back against me. His cries—a mix of pain, pleasure, and relief—were absolute music, and I gave him everything I could.

“Like that?” I asked through gritted teeth.

The response was a delirious moan.

“Can you come like this?” I asked. “Do you want to come?”

He shifted onto one arm and, from the way his other shoulder moved, he’d started jacking himself. “Y-yeah. I can. Oh, God…”

Fuck, yeah. “Get yourself off. Make me come with you.”

Anthony moaned again, and every muscle in his body tensed as he dragged both of us closer to that edge. I fucked him as hard as I could, pleading with my own muscles to hold out just a little bit longer, and I heard myself swearing like only a soldier could as my orgasm closed in.

Then Anthony’s whole body jerked, and he cried out as he clenched around me. I forced myself deep and roared as I came inside him.

And just like that, we were still. I slumped over him. He sank down onto the bed. We both panted hard and trembled, letting the last few aftershocks ripple through us before I finally pulled out.

“Oh my God,” he slurred. “That was so good.”

“Yeah?” I kissed the back of his shoulder. “You sounded pretty frustrated there for a bit.”

He rolled his eyes and grumbled something I didn’t catch, and I laughed as we got up to go clean ourselves off. Lily gave us a disapproving look from where she was lying on the floor, then put her head back down.

“Hey, don’t judge us,” I said to her as I rejoined Anthony on the bed.

He snorted. “She’s no worse than the cats.”

I grunted. “Just what we need—a four-legged peanut gallery.”

“Well, then let’s just be grateful none of them speak English.”

I laughed as I settled against him. “Okay. Fair.”

“Mmhmm.” He kissed me lightly. “And for the record? You are an evil, evil tease.”

“You’re welcome.”

Anthony laughed, cuddling closer to me, and I kissed the top of his head as I held him.

I felt so damn good, and not just because of the sex. This trip had been hard in a lot of ways, but I’d reconnected with my family. I’d spent time with my dad. And I’d fallen just a little harder for this sweet, sexy man.

Those three words were again right on the tip of my tongue. It was still too soon to say them, but deep down, I knew. I could feel it.

I loved this man.